Cold Comfort (19 page)

He grabbed hold of my hand and pulled me
along behind him, down the stairs and into the dining room. It was oddly
formal. The seats were filled with the band, their manager and Eddy, and the
table was heaving with the component parts of a roast dinner. Cat took the
spare seat at the head of the table as I made to walk to the other unoccupied
space beside Eddy at the opposite end. “Delilah, you sit there,” he said,
pointing at the chair Matt was currently sitting in, situated beside his own.

“Really, you don’t need to…” I started and
then stopped as he glared at me. Matt grumbled but moved to the seat beside his
brother. I slipped into the vacated chair, trying to ignore the way everyone
was looking at the pair of us curiously.

“Pass the fucking meat up,” Cat called down
the table. “I’m starving.”

“Not surprised,” Henry said, looking at me,
“with the way you’ve been going at it.” I blushed, and Cat scowled.

“Don’t even fucking look at her,” he said
to Henry, who just rolled his eyes.

“Hurry up and fuck her out your system,” he
said. “This is getting tedious.” Cat started to stand, so I quickly placed my
hand on his thigh to distract him.

“Don’t,” I whispered when he looked at me. He
looked down at my hand and then back at my face.

“Eat fast,” he said as his gaze dropped
down to my mouth. He ladled a hefty portion of beef onto my plate and the
accompanying roast potatoes, broccoli, carrots and beans with an enormous
Yorkshire pudding, then finished off by drowning it all with gravy and spooning
a dollop of horseradish sauce on the side. The plate was heaving when he’d
finished. I looked at it and then swapped my plate for his empty one before
repeating the exercise with about half the content. “You need to keep your
strength up,” he complained.

“I’ll be up with indigestion for half the
night if I eat that much,” I said, nodding at his plate. He grunted and then
began shovelling food into his mouth at a rate of knots.

The manager cleared his throat, clearly
nervous around Cat after their last exchange. “So, er…” he started, “I’ve had a
call from Radio 1.” Everyone stopped talking and looked at him. Radio 1 was the
biggest national radio station in the UK. “They’ve got a Live Lounge month
starting in September. They want you as part of it, kicking it off. You’ll get
to play one of your songs and a cover. It’s a great chance to showcase a song
from the new album. You up for it?”

“Tell them we’ll do it if we can sing three
songs,” Cat said. “An old one, a new one and a cover.”

The manager looked pleased. “Yeah, I’m sure
they’ll go for that. They want you on early doors, though – next week. Will
you have a new song ready in time?”

“We’ll sing the ballad with Delilah,” Cat
informed him. “We’ll be ready.”

Once again everyone gawped at him,
including me. This time it was Matt who questioned his choice. “Are you sure,
mate? She sounded great earlier, I know, but that’s a lot of pressure for a
first live performance. I still get nervous doing live radio, and it’s hardly
my first time.”

“She’ll be fine,” was all Cat said, with a
sureness I wished I felt. That was the end of the conversation. I’d always known
Cat was the driving force behind Cold Comfort, but I hadn’t realised he made
all the decisions.

“Cat…” I tried. He glared at me, and I shut
up. Eddy watched the exchange, scowling from the other end of the table.

I’d barely put my knife and fork together
when Cat stood and pulled my chair back from the table. “Delilah,” I heard Eddy
call me as I stood.

“She’ll see you tomorrow,” Cat told him in
no uncertain terms.

“I need to speak to her tonight,” Eddy
insisted. Cat wanted to argue, I could tell, but I interceded before it could
escalate.

“Cat, you’re being ridiculous. Let me speak
to him. I haven’t seen him all day.”

“Five minutes,” he grumbled, sitting back
down while I stood and joined Eddy at his end of the table.

“Let’s go into the other room,” Eddy
suggested. I looked over at Cat, but he was chatting to Henry. I nodded and we
quickly walked into the small adjacent sitting room. “You okay?” Eddy asked,
once we were alone.

“Yeah Eddy, I really am,” I reassured him. “You
don’t need to worry about me. He’s wonderful.”

“Sometimes,” Eddy grumbled. “He’s not
making you do anything you don’t want to?” he asked meaningfully.

“No, he’s not,” I replied with emphasis.

“Okay,” he said, somewhat reassured. I
turned to go back into the dining room. “That’s not what I wanted to talk
about,” he said, stopping me in my tracks. I turned back.

“Oh?”

“No… I just… well, I thought you should
know there were photos doing the rounds last night.”

“Photos?” I asked, confused.

“Yeah, of you and Cat leaving the club and
in the car. Your face was visible. They don’t know who you are yet, but anyone
who knows you would be able to recognise you.” I finally realised what he was
telling me.

“Hardy,” I breathed.

I sat down heavily in the leather armchair
behind me as I tried to work out what this meant. My head dropped into my hands
as I attempted to process my thoughts and separate rational thinking from the
need to run. Eddy came up and sat on the arm of the chair, putting his arm around
me for comfort. That was the moment Cat walked into the room. “What the fuck,”
he said at the sight of Eddy with his arm round my shoulders. “What the fuck’s
going on?” He looked at me more closely and finally realised Eddy was only
offering comfort.

“Calm down, Hulk,” Eddy said bitterly. “She
needs help, not your jealous rage.”

“What help? What’s the matter, baby?” Cat
asked, moving to kneel in front of me and taking hold of both my hands. “Tell
me. Let me sort it for you.”

“You can’t sort this. It’s part of my
history, and it’s not pretty. I’ll tell you about it… just not here. Can we go
upstairs and talk?” Cat nodded and stood. I stood too and hugged Eddy. “Thanks
for telling me. I’ll see you in the morning. Promise.”

He nodded. “Sleep well, D. And remember, if
you need anything… anything, you just shout, okay?”

“She won’t need anything I can’t get for
her,” Cat growled. Eddy rolled his eyes. I hugged him again, then let Cat lead
me from the room and back up the stairs. We didn’t even say goodnight to the
band.

“What’s going on?” Cat asked as soon as we
got into his room.

“There were pictures of us leaving the club
the other night on the internet.”

“So? Who cares?”

“I do.”

“You ashamed to be seen with me or
something?” he asked, sounding irritated.

“No,” I said with a small smile. “Not at
all. Just remember I told you about an ex-boyfriend who was looking for me?”

“Harvey Poncyboy or something?”

“Hardy Somerville, yes. Well, we just made
it a lot easier for him to find me.”

“Is that all? I’d like to see him try
getting through me to get to you. That’s if he manages to get past my security.
Seriously, we deal with mental people trying to get to us all the time. We’re
used to it.” I nodded but still wasn’t sure. “Look, if he’s any sort of bother
we’ll get a restraining order. The fucker won’t get near you.” This time I felt
more reassured. A restraining order was a good idea. “So what’s his deal, then?
Why does he think he’s still got a right to you? It is over, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, it’s over,” I assured him, and then
went into the details about my past with Hardy. His face darkened when I talked
about promising to wait for him, only lightening when he heard how Hardy had
fucked it all up. He was genuinely shocked when I told him about my Mama and
nearly hit the roof after hearing they’d intended to use me the same way.

“That fucker will never touch you, or even
see you, if I have anything to do with it,” he promised. I smiled and stroked
his face, before kissing him gently on the lips. “I mean it, Delilah. You’re with
me now, and I’ll not stand for anyone else being near you like that.”

“You can’t keep me in this room forever,” I
said with a laugh.

“I’d like to.”

“You’d get bored with me. We need to have
our own interests and pursuits and careers. That’s what will make us
interesting people. If all I do is live vicariously through you, you’ll get
bored with me. I might as well be one of your groupies.”

“You can sing with me. That song we wrote
was good – we can write more like that. Wayne was right when he said it
was going to be a hit. I think it’s one of the best I’ve written.”

“I don’t think the band will thank me if
you turn into a ballad writer,” I said with a laugh. “One per album is fine,
but you’re a rock band.”

“We’ll see,” he grumbled.

“I’m flattered you want me with you,” I
said, clambering onto his lap. “I’m amazed you want to sing with me.” I kissed
him, enjoying the feel of his growing erection. “I am so grateful that you’ll
help to look after me.” I pulled at his lip with my teeth. “But I need to learn
to look after myself too. Have a career, make my own money.” I could feel he
wanted to protest, so I carried on; “You’ve taught me so much already,” I said,
straddling him and pushing my core against him. “I want you to have all my
pleasure.”

“Damn right,” he grumbled.

“I want you to teach me everything I need
to know to pleasure you too.” He groaned then, picking me up as I clung to him
and walking us over to the bed.

“Now that I can do,” he assured me with a
grin.

*

It was four days before Cat had had
sufficient fill of me that he’d allow me to get out of the bed. In that time we’d
had sex in every position he knew, several times – and he knew a lot. I’d
learned I was a natural at giving blowjobs – I think it helped that seeing
him fall apart when I put my mouth on him was a massive turn-on for me. Cat
quizzed me about where I’d learned my technique, the green-eyed monster looming
large, but I assured him he was the only man I’d ever done any of this with
before – apart from breaking my hymen with Robbie. There really was no
comparison between that and what Cat and I had experienced together.

The fact that he had been there for all my
firsts seemed to really matter to him. He was more of a romantic than I had
ever imagined. My only anxiety was caused by how possessive he became every
time I tried to talk to him about my plans.

Eddy had tried and failed to get Cat to
allow me out to talk to him. I felt guilty about that, but I knew this
insatiable need would fade eventually and we’d start functioning as people once
more. At least I hoped it would. At the moment any time either of us looked at
the other we needed to jump on each other again. The rest of the band had grown
so sick of waiting for us to emerge, and the sounds of our sexual exploits, they’d
gone back to London. Cat couldn’t seem to care less. It made me a little
worried, particularly as we had the Live Lounge performance in two days and had
barely done more than sing the new song through twice more.

“You don’t need to practice, babe,” he’d
assured me. “You know it by heart.”

In the end the pause had been permitted only
because I was getting so sore down below from the amount of sex we’d had. I
needed a break physically, so reluctantly he allowed me to get dressed for the
first time in days and called the band back to the house.

We were sipping coffee in the kitchen when
the car arrived and they all piled out. “You’ve lost weight, Delilah,” Eddy
said. “You can’t afford to lose weight. You need to make sure she eats,” he
said angrily to Cat.

“I’ll make sure she eats,” he agreed
readily. He was in a good mood after the blowjob I’d just given him.

“You fucked her out your system yet?” Henry
asked in his usual crass way. Cat was up and his fist was moving before I could
get a restraining hand on him.

“Fuck, man,” Henry said, irritated, holding
his jaw. “You’ve fucking lost it.”

“And you need to mind your manners,” Cat
said unrepentantly as he shook out his hand.

I walked to the freezer, grabbed a bag of
peas and wrapped them in a clean dishcloth. “Here,” I said, handing them to
Henry.

“Hey, what about me?” Cat asked petulantly.

“Yours was self-inflicted. You shouldn’t
hit people.” The others sniggered.

“So, are we going to practice for the Radio
1 thing or not?” Matt asked, ever the peacemaker.

“Sure,” Cat said. “Shall we do the cover?
Then we can get Delilah down and work the arrangement for the ballad. We can do
any of the old stuff. Whatever you fancy, really.”

“That’s big of you,” Henry said, still
clutching the peas to his jaw.

“What cover are you doing?” I asked.

“It’s a surprise,” Cat said before anyone
else had a chance to answer. I saw a few of the guys’ eyebrows rise and worried
what it meant. “So anyway, you and Eddy make some food, since he’s so worried
about you losing weight, and I’ll go practice with the guys. We’ll come and get
you when we’re ready for you.”

With that they all left and headed for the
basement. Cat pressed a quick kiss to my lips and followed them out. “So…” Eddy
said. “You and Cat are really happening? Like a full-on thing?”

“Yeah, it seems that way. He’s a hard man
to say no to.”

“He is that, but if you wanted to… if you
needed space from him, you know I’d always help you.”

“I know, but I don’t want that. I really
like him, Eddy. He’s kind and thoughtful. He’s good for me.”

“Is he?” Eddy didn’t sound sure. “He’s well
into you, that’s for sure. He just seems a bit possessive, and he can be
unstable. You don’t know him like I do. How’s that going to work when we go
back to uni?”

“I don’t know. We haven’t really talked
about it yet.”

“Well, you need to. We only have another
month before we need to get back. Which reminds me, we have a composition to
do.”

“I’ve done it,” I said sheepishly.

“You cow! When did you do that?”

“I’ve had a song rattling round my head for
a while, and the Steinway was the last bit of inspirational nourishment I
needed.”

“Will you play it for me?”

“Let me have a sandwich first, and then we’ll
go to the music room.”

“Oh my god, I’m as bad as Cat, trying to
make you play for me before I feed you.” He proceeded to make me a huge
sandwich and sat watching while I ate it all. Then we hurried to the music
room.

I felt nervous as I started the opening
refrain. I’d played the song for Cat, but no one had heard the lyrics yet. I
hoped I could remember them. It turned out they were burned in my brain and
flowed from me as easily as The Lord’s Prayer had every Monday morning at the
school assembly.

I’m sorry, it’s too hard for me to stay
Heard you went with that other girl, so there’s nothing left for us to say

When I finished the final lyrics, and the
last note slowly faded out, I released my breath. It was cathartic. I now knew
who I’d been singing about. I turned to look at Eddy to see tears flowing
freely down his cheeks. “Oh my god, it wasn’t that bad, was it?”

He laughed, and it broke the spell. “Delilah
that was…. I swear, it’s as good as anything I’ve heard… anywhere. You have to
record it.”

“Oh, I don’t know,” I demurred.

“Your voice, hearing it like that… just
you… I mean, it sounds great on the duet with Cat, but on its own you can
really hear the depth of the tones. You sing with such honesty… it’s
beautiful.”

“Oh, Eddy, what would I do without you?” I
stood and hugged him. It felt good to be with him again. I looked forward to
being back in Brighton with him.

“So since you’re such a talented songwriter,
you have to help me compose a piano and violin duet. I’m assuming you can share
with me a little of your musical genius.”

“Silly,” I said, slapping him. He ran to
collect his violin, and then we spent a happy hour – it could have been
more, as we were completely wrapped up in the music – before Cat came to
find us.

“Hey,” he called softly, when we reached a
break in the music. Eddy and I both turned. “Having fun?”

“Amazing fun,” I said, smiling at Eddy. “I’m
in love with your piano, by the way.”

“Just part of the honey trap I created to
entice you in, babe,” he said, smiling. “I just didn’t know it was you I was
making it for at the time. You okay to come and practice the duet? The guys have
the music down, so we just need to run through our bits.”

“Sure,” I said brightly. “Let’s go.”

*

The run-through had gone well, as we had
seamlessly blended our voices with the band, creating a beautiful song that
never failed to bring tears to my eyes. I could see why everyone was getting
excited about it. Wayne had made us record a version because the label had
insisted it be made available for download immediately after the performance. I’d
been asked to sign a number of contracts that meant I’d get a small part of any
success the record had. Cat had made his lawyer look over the terms and assured
me it was all fair. I’d told him I didn’t expect anything for my part, and I
was just doing it because he’d asked me. He’d smiled indulgently, kissed me on
the head, and told me one day I’d thank him.

But from the moment the car collected us
from Matt’s house in London where we’d travelled late the night before, I
couldn’t shake the feeling of nausea that had settled in my stomach. The guys
had let Eddy travel with me in the hopes that his presence might calm me down,
but even he couldn’t help me shake off these nerves.

We were crawling through the London rush
hour traffic and, while the historic buildings would normally have excited me,
I couldn’t think about anything except what we were about to do, and what would
happen if I froze. I closed my eyes to avoid Cat feeling the need to make more
placatory comments about how I’d be fine, and pretended to be asleep.

“Want some of this?” I heard Henry offer
Cat. I opened my eyes to see him holding out some white powder on a tiny spoon.
Cocaine, I guessed. Quickly I closed my eyes again.