Cold Comfort (14 page)

“I hear you,” Eddy said with a sigh. I knew
they were talking about Cat. And me. I didn’t want to let them know I’d heard any
of what had just been said, so I made a big production of waking up, doing a
full arm stretch like something out of a Kellogg’s advert.

“Ah, the Kraken awakes,” Matt said, laughing.
“You’ve got a bit of drool down the side of your face,” he pointed out. “And a
big sleep crease on your cheek. It suits you.” Eddy laughed, while I just
grabbed my still warm coffee from the holder it had been placed in and downed
it in one go, scowling at the pair of them. Matt had become much friendlier
towards me now, but I worried about what I’d heard him saying, and determined
to stay as far away from Cat at the studio as I could manage.

“What’s the theme of the shoot today?” I
asked Matt as we drove in through the studio gates and pulled up in front of a
warehouse.

“It’s a club scene. Boy sees girl, but she’s
with another guy so he’s jealous kind of thing. We’ve already done most of it…
they just needed a couple of re-shoots. It’ll mostly be Cat.” I nodded; at
least that freed me up from being forced into his company. I followed them into
the dark space, blinded for a moment as my eyes took their time to adjust to
the reduced light. By reflex I put my arm out for Eddy, who I knew would be
finding it even more difficult. After a couple of seconds I could see enough to
head with the others towards a cluster of people at the other end of the cavernous
space.

An area in one corner had been dressed to
resemble the inside of a club. When I wondered why they didn’t just use a real
club, Matt explained it required less effort with lighting and cameras than it
would taking them to an offsite filming spot. The area looked authentic enough
if you didn’t look at the edges. People were milling around, extras I presumed,
judging by the clothes they were wearing.

Matt made his way over to where some chairs
had been placed for the band and slumped down in front of a mirror. A girl
immediately began powdering his face. I laughed at how little he seemed to be
enjoying it. Dougie and Cat were already seated, and Henry flounced in about
ten minutes later with a blonde fastened to him. She wasn’t the same as the one
I’d seen him with previously, but she looked like she’d been cast from the same
mould. “I told Thea she could be an extra,” he announced. Thea simpered. I saw
a guy I assumed was a director roll his eyes and say something to one of the
other make-up artists, who immediately started doing some work on Thea. Fortunately
Thea was already in the right attire, although I suspected it was the same
outfit she’d been wearing the night before when she met Henry. Just a guess.

Eddy and I found our way to a place behind
the director, but out of the way, and sat ourselves down on some equipment
boxes. From our position I could see all the band’s equipment set up. It looked
like they were planning to shoot as if the band were playing on stage at the
club. Sure enough, after about half an hour the band took to their ‘stage’ and
began to play the track. The ‘clubbers’, including Thea, danced as if they were
having one of the best nights of their lives, despite the fact it was eight in
the morning. At first the director took time getting shots of the band playing
and the clubbers dancing, without really focusing on Cat. It took a good couple
of hours until he was happy, by which point the audience were tired of being
repositioned in the same spots and having to look like they were having a good
time. It was all relatively tedious.

The band were excellent, though. Not
perfect every time, and even though Cat wasn’t singing at full volume, just
marking the song, his voice was incredible. “Cat, we need you now, please,” I
heard the director say. “And Amelia and Robert.” Amelia was one of the usual blondes,
but marginally prettier than average from what I could see. I watched as the
director talked through what he wanted her to do. Robert was meant to chat her
up, and she was meant to like it, while Cat sang on, watching from a distance,
looking jealous. It seemed simple enough.

Robert looked like he was completely into
it as he leaned into Amelia, one hand placed against the wall beside her as he bent
forward and whispered into her ear, making her laugh. They looked the real deal.
I was impressed. “Good,” I heard the director say. “Cat, you need to look like
you give a shit, for fuck’s sake.”

“Are you enjoying the show?” a voice beside
me asked. Eddy had gone to talk to Matt and the others, who were off to one
side, while I’d chosen to stay clear of the band and watch the shoot instead. I
turned to see a young guy, one of the clubbing extras, had moved to sit down next
to me.

“Yeah, I really am,” I said, realising it
was true.

“Takes a while to get it right, but it’s
fun to see. At least the music’s good at this shoot,” he said with a laugh. “I
was on a shoot for a chocolate bar, and we had to sit on the Underground on the
hottest day of the year for about five hours. It was hell.” He smiled, and I
smiled back. He seemed nice enough.

“There,” I heard the director shout. “That’s
the look I want. Now if you could just do it while looking in the right fucking
direction,” he yelled with frustration. I looked over towards the shoot, to
find myself eyeball to eyeball with Cat, who was glaring at me. “Have we got a
problem here?” the director asked, looking back over his shoulder at me. “Do we
need to clear some people off the set?” I blushed, mortified at the attention
being directed my way.

“Him,” I heard Cat say, pointing at the guy
that had been chatting to me. “I want him out,” he said.

The guy looked at me surprised and
shrugged. “Sorry, I didn’t know I was treading on his toes,” he said.

“You weren’t,” I reassured him. “I barely
know him. I’m sorry you have to leave,” I apologised as one of the assistants
moved towards him to ask him to leave.

“Hey, no biggie. I get paid regardless. Nice
to meet you,” he said, putting out his hand for me to shake. I swear I heard
Cat growl when he touched me.

Once order had been restored, filming
started again, but I could see that Cat was distracted. He kept looking towards
me when he was meant to be looking at Amelia. “Cat, I’m going to have to get
rid of some of the distractions,” the director finally said, looking over at me
again.

“No fucking way,” Cat grumbled as I made to
walk in the direction the other extras had left in. I was now mentally begging
the ground to open up and let me in.

“Look, I want to finish this and get home
at some point today,” the director said, frustrated. “Okay, how about we use
this. Get that girl over here. Make her stand where Amelia was. We’ll get the
facial shots from Cat using this girl as a stand-in and then just edit her out and
put Amelia in for the final cut. We haven’t got time to re-shoot everything
with another girl at this stage.” Amelia scowled at me as I was led into
position beside Robert before I even knew what was happening. “Robert,” I heard
the director say. “I want you to do exactly what you were doing before. Okay,
and action,” he said.

Next thing I knew Robert was leaning
against me, bending down towards my ear. Out of the corner of my eye I could
see Cat looking at us, his face furious. “Great, perfect, Cat,” the director
cut in. “Now if you could just do that but remember you’re meant to be singing
the fucking lyrics to the song, then that would be perfect.” They started again,
and this time I could hear Cat singing as Robert leant towards me.

“This is an unexpected pleasure,” he
whispered, which made me smile and blink up at him. “You really are stunning, do
you know that?” he said, looking straight into my eyes. I could hear the chorus
lyrics coming to a close and knew we must be getting close to the end of the
scene. “Have you ever thought about being a model?” Robert asked.

“Cut,” I heard the director say. Next thing
Robert had been hoiked away from me and a very angry-looking Cat was standing there
instead, his chest rising and falling rapidly as he sought to control himself. I
looked up at him, terrified as he gripped my jaw and then kissed me. It was harsh
and angry, but I felt my shocked body begin to respond before I came to my
senses and realised what was happening.

“No,” I said, pushing him away. “You have
no right to do that,” I shouted at him, slapping him hard across his cheek. He just
looked at me, and for a horrible moment I thought he’d kiss me again, so I slipped
deftly to the side, out of his grasp, and ran, sprinting for the bright outline
of the door we’d entered through at the far end of the warehouse. I burst into
the sunshine and looked around wildly for somewhere to hide, resorting in the
end to the back of the car that had brought us that morning. I cringed as I replayed
back what had just happened. I was embarrassed, and pissed as hell with Cat. For
the first time since I’d met Eddy, I wished I could go home and see Mama.

Eddy emerged blinking into the sunlight
about ten minutes later, looking worried. He found me huddled in the back of
the car and immediately pulled me into a hug.

“I want to go home,” I said into his chest.

“We’ll go now,” he promised. “Matt can get
a lift back with one of the others.”

“No, I want to go home and see my Mama.”

“You can’t do that. You said you couldn’t
or you’d get caught up with that family again.”

A fat tear rolled down my cheek. “Well,
Brighton, then. I want to go back to Brighton.”

“Don’t run away, Delilah. Cat told me what
he did. He’s really sorry; he didn’t mean to upset you. He’s not used to
meeting women who don’t want to be kissed. You’re something of a novelty, that’s
all.”

“He was so angry with me. I didn’t do
anything.”

“You don’t need to do anything, Delilah. You’re
one of the special people that doesn’t need to do anything for the world to
notice them.”

“I didn’t want him to notice me.”

“You’re hard to miss. Even for someone like
Cat. Seriously, he said he was really worried after the way you ran out; he
wanted to come and look for you himself, but I said it would be better if I
came.” I shuddered at the prospect of another exchange with Cat.

“Please don’t leave, Delilah. I like having
you with me. In a few days we’re meant to be going to the country to Cat’s
house,” I started to object, but he cut me off. “No, listen, Delilah. Normally
I’d say we wouldn’t go, but the guys are going there to write their next album.
It’ll be amazing to listen to them create together, musical heaven. I just know
you’d love it. Cat said to tell you he wanted you to come but that he’d leave
you alone if you did. It’s a massive house, you’ll barely even need to see him
if you don’t want to. It’s got a studio and a music room. Seriously, I think it’s
my favourite place on earth. I used to spend all my time there, and I know you’ll
love it too. I so want to share it with you.” It certainly sounded good. I just
wished it didn’t mean having to be near Cat. I didn’t trust him. Worse, I didn’t
trust myself around him.

As if on cue the door to the warehouse
opened and Cat and the other guys walked out. Cat had two girls velcroed to
him, one on each arm. He cast a quick look in the direction of our car but then
moved towards a different vehicle, pulling the giggling girls inside with him. Matt
said something to Dougie and then came towards us. He opened the door and stuck
his head through. “Hey, you okay?” he asked, looking at me.

“Yeah, fine now,” I said. “Sorry about that
back there.”

“From what I heard, you didn’t have a thing
to apologise for. Cat’s the one that should be apologising.”

“Yeah, well, I’d rather forget all about it
if you don’t mind?”

“Sure, whatever. The boys and I are going
back to Dougie’s for a bit.” He didn’t need to say what for, as another group
of giggling girls climbed into their car. He blushed. “We’ll see you whenever. You’re
still on for coming to the country house in a couple of days, aren’t you?” he
said, looking anxiously at me.

“We’ll see,” Eddy said. “I think so. Tonight
I’ve got us tickets to see the London Philharmonic play at the Royal Festival
Hall, so we’ll talk tomorrow.” I smiled at him. He was so incredibly
thoughtful. The guy who ended up with him was going to be lucky as hell.

*

After a night of Rachmaninoff I was in a
completely different place. I felt reborn. “It was so deliciously dark and
rich,” I gushed afterwards to Eddy, “but you could feel the energy. Amazing.”

“The strings in the Symphonic Dances were
incredible,” Eddy raved. “God, I pray one day I get the chance to play like
that.”

“You will,” I assured him. “You’re
brilliant. Sussex think so. You’ll earn your place, and one day when you’re
playing there, I’ll be in the audience exclaiming about you.”

“Amen,” he said.

“Thank you for taking me.”

“Feeling a bit better now?” he asked as we
made our way towards the Underground.

“Yeah. I don’t know why I let it all upset
me so much. It was only a kiss.”

“After what that last guy put you through,
and then Robbie, I think you’re entitled to feel a little cagey about getting
caught up with anyone. And Cat’s hardly just anyone – certainly not boyfriend
material.” I laughed at the thought.

“You sound like my Mama. Speaking of which,
I need to call her tomorrow.”

“You are still coming to the house with us,
though, aren’t you?”

“We’ll see, Eddy,” was all I said. I still
couldn’t quite bring myself to commit to spending time at a house that belonged
to Cat. Especially when it meant I’d be stuck there for days, possibly weeks, or
however long it took them to do what they needed on the new album.

“Have you played at all since we finished
for the summer?” he asked. I shook my head. I hadn’t even picked my instrument up
except to bring it with me. It was the longest I’d gone without playing music
since Hardy had given me my first guitar. “All I’m saying is the house has the
most amazing music room, and a Steinway.”

“Oh my god, are you kidding me?”

“Seriously, he’s a really good pianist. Forget
putting your name down on a list at Sussex for a session on the Steinway there.
You can pretty much have at it if you come with us.”

“That is so sneaky of you,” I grumbled,
knowing the lure of the piano was seriously tempting. “Let me speak to Mama in
the morning, then I’ll make my decision.”

*

“Sweetheart,” Mama said as soon as she heard
my voice the next morning. “Oh my God, darling, it’s been so long. How are you?
I’ve missed you.”

“I’m good, Mama. I’ve been staying with
Eddy’s brother. I’m good.”

“You’re okay? Really? No problems? You
sound funny.” She could always tell when I was unhappy.

“I’m missing you,” I said quietly. “I want
to come home for a bit.”

She was silent for a long minute. “I don’t
think that’s a good idea, honey. Hardy’s back.” I couldn’t help the gasp that
escaped. “He’s looking for you. He came here and nearly tore the place apart
looking for something that would tell him where to find you. He’s really angry
you left.”

“What’s he got to be angry about? He’s the
one who broke promises. He’s the one who lied.”

“I don’t know, honey. He just said he
needed to talk to you. He’s been looking for you ever since. Emily mentioned to
me that he found out about what Clarissa said to you. I don’t know what he
wants, but he’s mad as hell. I don’t want you near that right now. Plus Mr
Somerville was cross about me letting you go off like that. I think you’re
better off keeping away right now. Don’t send me anything with an address on it,
and stay off social media. Keep away from here. He’ll move on. Then you’ll be
okay to come home.”

I sighed. It seemed ridiculous to allow another
family to dictate our lives like this. “One day, Mama, they won’t have this
hold over us. I promise you, I’ll make sure you can get away from him.”

“I know, baby. One day.”

We said our goodbyes, and then I lay back
down on my bed and pondered what it meant. I couldn’t go home right now, that
was certain, but did it mean I should stay with Eddy and the band? Or could I
return to Brighton? Thoughts of the waiting Steinway flashed through my mind, and
I cursed Eddy for putting them there. One of our pieces of coursework for the
summer required us to compose an original piece, and the thought of doing that
on a Steinway was almost irresistible.

“Delilah?” I heard Eddy call. “Delilah, are
you awake?”

“Yeah,” I called back, “come in.”

“I thought I heard you talking to someone,”
he said, looking around as if he expected to find someone in here with me.

“Mama, on the phone,” I explained.

“Oh, is she okay?”

“She’s fine. She told me Hardy’s back,
though, and he’s looking for me.”

“Looking for you? Seriously? God, Delilah,
that’s crazy. You have to come with us now.”

“I don’t know…”

“What do you mean you don’t know? We can
keep you away from him, hidden. The band have security. No one’s going to get
past them. It can’t be that hard to find out which University course you
registered with. Especially if he has money. He’ll find you in Brighton, and if
you’re there alone... You have to come with us, at least for now. You can’t be
there.” He was right. It wouldn’t be that difficult to find my name linked to a
university profile. He’d know for sure I was studying music – he wouldn’t
even have to look that hard.

“Okay,” I finally said, nodding. “I’ll
come, but only because of the Steinway.”

“Only the Steinway?” he pouted.

“The Steinway and you. That’s all.”

“Good enough.” He grinned and pulled me
into a hug.

*

Four days later we were in a car headed back
towards Cambridgeshire. It worried me how close I’d be to Hardy, but I pushed
it to the back of my mind, convincing myself that we’d be secreted on an
estate, away from prying eyes, with security to protect us.

The long tree-lined driveway was impressive
when we pulled in through the wrought iron gates. It reached for nearly half a
mile before opening up into a large expanse of grass fronting a Tudor-style
mansion. The place was amazing; a vast red brick building that sprawled across
the lawn. Grounds extended as far as the eye could see, and I took some comfort
in the level of privacy it offered.

We got out the car and made our way to the
front door, where Eddy greeted a burly security man by name, who then nodded us
through into the house. The sound of pumping rock music hit as soon as we walked
into the entrance hall. The others had travelled up a couple of days before,
but Eddy had sensed my need for space and suggested we arrive a little later.
“They’re in the day room,” the security man told Eddy with a nod, who then
veered immediately right out of the hall and led me along the corridor, towards
the source of the noise. I prayed this wasn’t the planned new album.

Eddy pushed the door open and immediately
tried to stop me from entering behind him, but it was too late. I stood in the
doorway and surveyed the scene, feeling a familiar bile rising in my stomach. Henry
was sprawled on a sofa, legs spread with a girl’s head nestled between them,
sucking him off. What made it worse was he had a beer in one hand and was
carrying on a conversation with Cat at the same time, who seemed utterly
unconcerned about the activity going on in front of him. On the table in front
of them was a mirror containing lines of white powder and a rolled twenty-pound
note. Another girl, wearing nothing but her bra and knickers, was pressed into Cat’s
side, although he seemed to be completely ignoring her. Matt and Dougie were on
the other side of the room playing an Xbox, while two more girls watched on,
looking bored. Eddy cleared his throat loudly, making Henry look up.

“Oh man, I think we’ve got company,” he
said to Cat, who followed his line of sight and saw me standing there watching them.
I saw panic flash across his face as he took in what I must have seen, pulling
himself free of the girl beside him and standing up.

“Matt,” Cat called, “I thought you said Eddy
and Delilah were coming tomorrow.” He sounded really pissed.

“Tomorrow, today, what difference,” Matt
said, unconcerned. Then he looked around and realised what we’d walked in on.
“Oh, sorry, Ed, Delilah. Shit,” he said, catching sight of the coke on the
table. “We had a really great day in the studio yesterday. We were just blowing
off steam,” he apologised to his brother.

“Obviously,” Eddy said, sounding
uncharacteristically angry. “Look, we don’t want to cramp your style or anything,
but I’m not going to subject Delilah to this. I’m offended and I can’t even see
half the shit that’s going on. We’ll head back to Brighton,” he said, starting
to back out the room and trying to pull me with him.

“No, man, don’t go,” Matt said. “Put it the
fuck away,” he said to Henry with a scowl as Henry continued to allow the girl
to suck him off. The girl must have been so off her face she hadn’t even paused
when we’d entered the room.

“Fuck off,” Henry said, until Cat cuffed
him round the head. “Fuck! What was that for?”

“Put it away, like the man said. Now. Or at
least go to your room,” Cat commanded. “There are ladies present.” Henry swore
and pulled himself out of the girl’s mouth. He tucked himself away as asked and
stood swiftly, took her hand and pulled her with him, heading for a different
room. The girl seemed virtually oblivious to where she even was as she trailed
along behind him. “The rest of you,” Cat said, looking at the other girls, “I
want you gone.”

“Cat,” the girl who had been pressed against
him said, “we haven’t even done anything yet. I thought you wanted to fuck me. I
know I want to fuck you,” she purred.

“I was never gonna fuck you,” he said,
somewhat unkindly, as he picked up the mirror from the table and placed it into
a cupboard. “You were just a club skank who happened to luck out last night,
and now you’ve outstayed your welcome. Get out. Security will call you a cab.” The
girls by now were all scrambling to find their possessions. The one who had been
latched on to Cat turned as she began to dress herself, and I saw her face properly
for the first time.