Cold Comfort (16 page)

“You do all of the writing, then?”

“Most of it. Henry did a couple of songs on
the last album, but I’ve done the rest. I’m struggling with this, though. There’s
something missing, I’m just not sure what the song needs yet. It’ll come to me
eventually, but until it does I’ll have some sleepless nights. Hey,” he said
suddenly, “maybe you can help? Will you help me write it?” He patted the piano
seat beside him. I nodded, excited to be involved.

As I sat down next to him I tried to ignore
my body’s response to his sheer proximity. All the fine hairs on my arms stood
up with every light brush of his own as he played.

Together we wrote a beautiful song that told
the story of a man who loves a woman but can’t tell her. I tried to pretend I
didn’t see that all the time he sang he looked at me.

He was a great pianist, his fingers moving
deftly across the keys as we found the right combinations to complement the
words, madly scribbling what we’d done on his notebook as soon as he felt it
was right. When we’d finished I looked over from my place beside him at the
piano. “I think you just wrote a hit record.”

He didn’t reply at first, and I wondered if
he’d heard me when he finally turned to me and said; “Not yet. Nearly. It’s
still not quite there. Anyway, it was a joint effort.” He took a deep breath,
as if to gather courage. “I want to kiss you, Delilah. I want to kiss you more
than I want to take my next breath. But I won’t steal this one. I need you to
give it freely to me.”

Emotions flooded my body at his words. Joy
at the thought that this beautiful man felt the same physical response to me as
I felt to him, and fear that I was opening myself up to more pain. Fear won. It
was too much, too soon.

I stood abruptly. “I’m sorry,” I stuttered.
“I can’t… I’m sorry,” I stumbled away from the piano bench and backed quickly
towards the door before turning and running back to my room where I cried
myself to sleep.

Eddy woke me with a coffee. I sat up, my
face feeling puffy and bloated after the tears the night before. “Do I want to
know?” he asked, peering at me.

“What?” I asked defensively.

“Cat is in a foul mood. He’s already sacked
someone and had a row with both Dougie and Matt. It’s obvious something
happened between the time we all happily said goodnight after the movie and
pizza, and this morning. Looking at the state of you I have a feeling I have a
good idea what it might be.”

“Nothing happened.”

“That’s probably the problem. Cat’s not
good with rejection. In fact I’d hazard he’s never had to deal with it before. He’s
not handling it well at all. Want to tell me what the ‘nothing’ was that happened?”
he asked, adding; “No pressure.”

“Nothing, really. I couldn’t sleep, so I
went to the music room to play the piano and he was there. We had a nice time,
wrote a song together, and then he asked me to kiss him. I said no. That’s it. Really,
it was nothing,” I hurried to assure him.

“Not for Cat it wasn’t. Seriously, women
never
say no to him.” He gave a little laugh. “It’ll do his ego good…” He paused as
he looked at me again. “So why are you looking so sad? Did you want to kiss
him?”

“No… I don’t know… maybe,” I finally
admitted. “I like him when he’s not being a whore. He was lovely when we were alone
together. I was tempted, but then before I did anything I remembered Hardy was
just the same and look how that finished up. I can’t risk being involved with
another womaniser. It hurts too much. The man’s name is Catnip, for god’s sake.
I’d have to be mad to think he was a good bet for a serious relationship.”

“Not all relationships have to be serious,”
he said thoughtfully. “Sometimes relationships can just be about a brief period
of fun with someone you like, or really great sex. You don’t only have to date
people you think you could potentially marry. You’re only nineteen, for heaven’s
sake. I never thought I’d hear myself say it, but maybe you need someone like
Cat in your life to shake you up a bit. You need to remember life’s short and
you have to make the most of it. Who knows what tomorrow will bring… seize the
day, Delilah. If you want to kiss Cat, then kiss him. If you don’t, then don’t.”

“Blimey, you’ve changed your tune.”

“I have. I think you need more fun in your
life, and I’m taking responsibility for delivering it. So tonight we’re going
out.”

“Out out?” I asked, immediately nervous at
the prospect.

“Out out. To a club, like normal nineteen-year-olds
do. And before we go out we’re going to find you a new outfit to wear. We’ll go
shopping in Cambridge today.”

“What about the others?”

“They’re locked away with their manager, Wayne,
showing him the tracks they’ve already done. I think they’re planning to record
some more after that. We can see them later if we want to. Or not. In the
meantime, get yourself dressed. I’ll call a cab.”

I smiled at him, feeling a trickle of
excitement at the prospect of a day out together, away from Cat. I nodded and
swung my legs out the bed, grabbing the coffee cup and draining it, before
standing up and making my way to the shower as he left the room to call a cab. Eddy
was right, I was taking myself too seriously. I needed to lighten up a bit and start
behaving like other girls my age. Otherwise I was going to wake up one day and
find out I was forty and had missed all the best bits. I pulled on a pair of jeans
and a t-shirt, quickly running a brush through my hair and cleaning my teeth, and
then ran down the stairs. Eddy was waiting in the hall on his own. There was
the distant sound of male laughter from the direction of the basement. “I left
them a note on the table,” Eddy told me before I asked. I nodded and we exited
through the front door where the taxi was already waiting, engine idling.

“Yeah, fine,” I said. “You’re right, I’ve
got to start living my life again. I’ve been in hibernation for the last year, and
it’s got to stop.” Eddy hugged me, a big smile on his face. “Thank you, for
everything,” I said.

“Thank
you
.”

*

We spent the day in Cambridge, shopping our
hearts out. I bought a new dress that was more daring than anything I’d ever
worn before, and made Eddy buy himself a new shirt and some trainers. We
planned to pop home, get dressed up and then return to Cambridge for dinner
before going to the club night at the Corn Exchange. There were some well-known
DJs playing, and we’d been lucky to purchase a couple of returned tickets that
had been brought back only an hour earlier. The fates were smiling on us.

Eddy had picked up some vodka and cranberry
juice, so when we got back to the house he stopped at the freezer and collected
a bowl of ice and a couple of glasses before we began to get ready. He insisted
I let him apply some make-up to me. When I expressed some doubt, he assured me
he’d had loads of practice on his Girls World when he was little. The mental
image of an earnest little boy in glasses concentrating on make-up application
to a mannequin made me laugh. He then proceeded to Google a well-known beauty
blogger who promised on her video she would talk him through every step to
achieve the perfect smoky eye. I poured us each another hefty measure of vodka
and then sat back while he got to work.

“God, if you don’t make it into the London
Philharmonic you can always have a career as a make-up artist,” I remarked as I
admired the finished result. He’d created the promised dark smoky eye effect
which did amazing things to the violet colour of my irises. I swore I’d learn
how to do it for myself as I slipped into the bathroom and pulled on my new
dress. It was made of a soft, white clingy fabric and combined a demure boat
neck with a very short skirt – it stopped mid-thigh. The back was the part
I loved most, though, plunging to just above my derriere and forcing me to
forgo a bra. The whole ensemble managed to be both demure and sexy at the same
time. I liked the suggestion of nipple that was visible through the fabric. I
felt daring and alive as I brushed my dark hair until it shone. Eddy whistled
under his breath when I finally emerged.

“You look freaking amazing, Delilah,” he
breathed.

“You look pretty amazing yourself,” I said
with a laugh, as I made him take a turn so I could see the full effect of his
new shirt and trainers.

“Your carriage awaits,” he said, taking
hold of my arm and leading me down the stairs. I’d kept my heels low, knowing
my limitations and preferring comfortable feet if we were going to dance later.
“Did you want to take a jacket?” he asked, glancing at the back of the dress
when we were halfway down. He was right. It had been warm all day, and whilst I
knew it would be hot in the club I thought I might need a jacket for walking from
the restaurant, and then after we’d left the club. I nodded and ran quickly
back up the stairs towards my room, calling that I’d meet him in the hall. I
grabbed my leather jacket off the hook on the back of my door, looped it over
my arm and skipped back down the stairs, my spirits high.

Eddy was waiting for me, surrounded by the
members of Cold Comfort, who looked like they were teasing him about his new
shirt. They turned as one as they heard me approach. “Are you ready?” I asked, smiling
at Eddy.

“Fucking hell,” Matt exclaimed, with a
quick look at Cat. The others just stood there and stared. I shifted, my
confidence wilting under their scrutiny. I didn’t dare look at Cat.

“Doesn’t she look amazing?” Eddy said, grinning
at me like a proud parent and elbowing his way through the silent group. He
grabbed my arm again and led me towards the door. The group caught sight of the
back of my dress at the same moment, and there was an audible hiss. I ignored
it, refusing to allow them to knock my confidence further, and continued
walking.

“Put your jacket on, Delilah,” Cat said,
suddenly appearing beside me. He took it from my arm, his eyes dropping to my
now prominent nipples. He swallowed hard as he held my jacket out for me,
helping me into it before zipping it up all the way to my neck. Then he opened
the door of the cab and held it for me, watching as I clambered in, before
closing it firmly. He walked quickly round the car, grabbing Eddy’s arm so he
was forced to stop, then pulled him in close to talk to him. I watched from the
back of the car as Eddy glanced nervously towards me, his response showing some
irritation before he shrugged Cat off. Cat asked him something else, and Eddy
became uncharacteristically animated as he spoke, poking Cat in the chest with
his index finger to reinforce his point before shaking him off and walking the
rest of the way round the car. Cat just scowled at him as Eddy opened the door
and slipped in beside me. He leant forward to give the driver instructions.

“What did he want?” I asked when we were
finally on our way.

“Just trying to teach me how to look after
you. He really is being the most overbearing, stubborn ass where you’re
concerned,” he said, looking at me. “Now let’s forget all about Catnip and
concentrate on the fun we’re going to have tonight. I need you to find me a
suitable young man.”

“I need you to do the same for me.”

“Done,” he agreed.

“Done,” I echoed.

*

Three hours later, having consumed another
four double vodkas and not much food, my spirits were high as we weaved our way
towards the Corn Exchange. Eddy clasped my elbow as we walked up to the
entrance, our tickets clutched in his hand. We joined the long queue, waiting
patiently to be searched for any drugs we might have hidden on our bodies.
Where they thought I might hide anything in this dress I wasn’t sure. Eddy
nudged me as a good-looking guy openly gawped when I removed my jacket and
handed it in at the cloakroom before handing Eddy my ticket to look after. I
smiled at the man, my inhibitions dampened down by the alcohol, and the guy
grinned back, encouraged by my response. He was cute, dressed simply in jeans
and a white t-shirt. Eddy pulled at my arm, dragging me inside the dark club,
and I lost sight of the guy, immediately overwhelmed by the relentless pulse of
the house music. It made me want to dance.

“Want a drink?” Eddy bellowed in my ear.

“No, I want to dance,” I yelled back. Eddy
looked nervous as he stared at the already heaving dance floor. I knew he was
worrying about his sight. “Come on, I’ll look after you. We’ll stay near an
edge,” I promised. I took hold of his elbow and steered him to the side of the
dance floor, just as a Chemical Brothers track I loved came on. I squealed in
delight, making Eddy laugh, as we both began to dance. The DJ mixed seamlessly,
one track flowing into the next, and soon we were both sweating. I’d kept a
close eye on Eddy, moving anyone who came too close out the way, so that we
maintained a clear perimeter all around us.

“I hoped I’d find you again. I just needed
to look at where the greatest density of men was. You’ve got quite the crowd of
admirers,” a voice announced beside my ear. I turned quickly and found the
white t-shirt guy beside me. I smiled, pausing to take in the crowd of men that
had indeed formed a perimeter around Eddy and me. I’d been so caught up in our
dancing I hadn’t noticed anyone else. “Thought you might need this,” he said,
handing me an unopened bottle of water. He offered a second to Eddy. I was
touched he’d included him. “Boyfriend?” he asked, nodding towards Eddy, who
took the bottle from him gratefully.

“Friend,” Eddy supplied before I could
answer. Eddy looked at me. “I found you one. Now it’s your turn.” I looked
around, wondering how the hell I was going to know if a guy was gay or not. “Go
and dance, D,” he said, laughing. “Don’t look so worried.” I smiled at him as
t-shirt guy grabbed my hand and pulled me into the middle of the dance floor.

He was a great dancer, and we were soon
caught up in the music again. When Eddy joined us with another guy I was
delighted. Dan, the name of the guy I was dancing with, grabbed my hips and was
moving against me when a stir rippled across the dance floor. There was a
sudden surge in people at the side of the room, and I craned my neck to see
what was causing all the excitement. Dan pulled me back against him, slowing
his movements and positioning his hand against the bare flesh of my back. I
could feel the gentle caress of his thumb against my skin. “You’re beautiful,”
he said. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone as beautiful as you.” I blushed,
ready to refute his claim, when suddenly he was no longer in front of me. Instead
he was on the floor, with Cat standing over him, his foot pressed firmly on the
middle of Dan’s chest.

“You don’t fucking touch her,” Cat growled
before looking up at all the other guys around us. “None of you fucking touch
her,” he shouted, before grabbing my arm and pulling me towards the side of the
room.

“Get off me.” I yelped as his grip pinched
the skin around my wrist. I could see the lights of cell phone cameras
capturing my humiliation as Cat yanked me across the room. “What the hell are
you doing? Why are you here?” I tried again.

Cat stopped dead and turned to look at me. “You
may not be ready for me yet,” he said, piercing me with his beautiful blue
eyes, “and that’s okay. I can wait until you are. But I won’t let anyone else
touch you. I can’t. I’ll fucking kill someone.”