Cold Comfort (12 page)

“Hurry back,” Robbie said, already visibly
stiffening again as he watched me. He looked pleased with himself.

“Sure,” I said with a smile, lying through
my teeth. I slid out the door, hoping to avoid observation, only to find Eddy
waiting for me at the top of the stairs. His usually large eyes were even
bigger than normal as he looked at me dolefully.

“Are you okay?”

“Not really,” I admitted.

“Did he hurt you?” he asked, becoming
angry.

“No. I did that all by myself,” I said,
starting to cry. He sighed, pulled me into a hug and then took me home.

Word of Robbie’s and my night of passion
had spread like wildfire through the faculty. It seemed to give license to all those
people who had assumed I was with Eddy, and therefore off the market, to have
another pop at me. Robbie had so embellished the event I barely recognised
anything from the version that came back to me via one of the other girls on
the course. She was annoyed because she’d fancied her own chances with Robbie,
who’d been behaving like a cocky shit around me ever since and had taken great
pleasure in making it clear to anyone who’d listen that I’d shagged him at a
party, several times apparently. One version even suggested we’d had an
audience. It was all a little close to my memories of Clarissa for comfort,
although frankly the news meant very little to most people. Almost all of the
other girls had already had numerous partners in the time I’d only had the one.
The fact I was finally known to have had one was what made it noteworthy at
all.

Robbie had lapped up the apparent kudos of
having been the one to finally score with me, according to Eddy. Subsequently
he had continually asked for a repeat performance, acting like he owned me whenever
we were in public; putting his arm around my shoulders at any given opportunity
and trying to kiss me whenever he managed to get close enough. I’d had to patiently
explain several times that, whilst it had been ‘nice’, I wasn’t in the right
place for a relationship right now. It seemed at first this had just spurred him
on to try harder. It had all been quite tedious. Then, when I’d finally made it
clear I didn’t want anything more from him, he’d turned on me and started slagging
me off to anyone that would listen.

Eddy meanwhile had patiently allowed me to
soak his shoulders with tears whenever I needed to. The loss of my virginity
had been a trigger for the feelings I’d been suppressing about Hardy. After a
drunken night at the apartment I’d finally revealed everything about my past.
The conversation had been facilitated by a shared bottle of vodka and two
cartons of cranberry juice. The one remaining positive from my drunken night at
the party was my continued love of the drink.

“So your mother…”

“Is his paid mistress,” I supplied
helpfully. “I don’t like the word ‘whore’. She’s a wonderful woman, and I think
you’d love her. Everything she’s done has been for me.”

“And they said his son wanted you?”

“That’s what I was told, although I never
exactly talked it out with him. I thought he loved me, or at least cared for me.
I certainly thought I loved him. He asked me to wait for him, so stupidly I did.
Then I found out it was a one-way arrangement, and it all went pear-shaped. Mama
said I needed to leave or they might not let me.”

“Jesus,” he breathed. “I thought my life
was wack. That’s crazy. How could they even keep you there if you didn’t want
to stay?”

“I don’t know, but Mama seemed afraid of
them. They’re rich. Rich people usually get what they want one way or another.”

“Crazy,” he said again.

“Err, hello. Says the guy with his own
apartment at the age of nineteen. I’d say you’re hardly in a position to talk.”

He grimaced but didn’t say anything at
first. Then finally; “And you think this guy might come looking for you?”

“Well he hasn’t so far, but he only graduates
this year. The plan was always that he’d wait until he was twenty-one. He was
due to get his trust fund then, which would mean he could tell his dad to go to
hell. I guess if he was going to come back to look for me at all then that
would be the time. I figure he’s probably moved on by now.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure,” Eddy said, worry
evident in his voice. “So you can’t ever go back there? To see your mum, I mean?”

“No. I miss her. When a bit more time has
passed, maybe she can come here, to Brighton.” Eddy looked shocked. “It’s okay,”
I tried to reassure him. “This is more than good enough for me…” I trailed off,
realising I’d assumed I’d be welcome to stay. “I mean… I’m sorry… I assumed…
God, I’m sorry, that was so presumptuous of me.”

“Delilah, stop. Of course I want you to
live here. As long as you want to. But we finish for the summer in a couple of
weeks, and I’m meant to be going away for the holidays.”

“I’ll be fine. I’ll get a job and I’ll be
fine. If you don’t want me to stay in your flat without you…”

“No, that’s not what I meant at all. I’m
just concerned about leaving you alone in case this guy turns up. I can’t be
worrying about you when I’m not around to protect you. It would destroy me if
anything happened while I wasn’t here.”

“Eddy, I’m not your responsibility. You’ve already
done enough. I just need to find a summer job. I thought maybe I could find work
playing piano in a bar or something, plus with the waitressing…”

Eddy looked thoughtful. “Leave it with me,”
was all he said. “I’ve got an idea.”

*

“It’s all sorted,” Eddy announced about a
week later as he bounded into the lounge from his bedroom. He didn’t notice the
table had moved slightly and tripped over it.

“Jesus, Eddy,” I said, rushing over to
check he hadn’t done any permanent damage.

“I’m fine,” he said, irritated now. He
hated it when he did stupid things because of his poor sight. “I’ve got us both
a summer job. Or at least something that counts as work experience.”

“What are you talking about?” I asked, bemused.

“We’re going on the road,” he said, excited
again.

“Eddy, what are you talking about?”

“My brother’s in a band.”

“Really? You never said. Your mum must be
so proud to have such a musical family.”

Eddy’s expression softened. “You’re
amazing, do you know that?” I just looked at him, confused. “Anyone else would
immediately want to know the name of the band in case they were someone famous.
You just tell me how proud my mum must be of us. Amazing,” he said again.

“You’re so silly,” I said, smiling fondly
at him.

“So anyway, as I said my brother’s in a
band, and we’re going to hang out with them over the summer. They’ve got some
gigs, and then they’ll be in the studio for a bit. I thought it would be great experience
for us. Plus if they need any extra musical input we can help out.”

“What does your brother play?” I asked,
intrigued.

“Lead guitar. Have you heard of Cold
Comfort?”

Cold Comfort were a massive band at the
moment. They’d featured at every festival, including Glastonbury, the previous
summer. I’d have had to be dead not to have heard of them. The entire world had
heard of them. I was amazed his brother was part of such a massive group, yet I’d
known nothing about it. I guess it explained the apartment.

“They had that song ‘Enemy’,” I recalled. “It
had the most amazing key change. A really beautiful major to minor shift.
Totally unexpected. It really made the piece. Did your brother think of that?”
I asked, impressed. Eddy blinked at me again for a moment.

“You’re awesome,” he said. “I never tell
people who my brother is, especially women, because when I do they invariably
start fangirling all over me. They want to know if I can introduce them and
what the boys are really like. You just want to know if he thought of the key
change.”

“Well, did he?” I asked, impatient to know.

“Yeah, he did, actually. Him and Cat.”

“Cat?”

“Cat Colton. Lead singer. I’ll be keeping
you clear of him, though. To be honest I’ll be keeping you clear of all of them
if I can. They’re a group of manwhores, and you’ll be better off without
getting involved. But they are great musicians, and you’ll like my brother.”

“What did I ever do to deserve you taking
me under your wing?”

“You’ve given me as much. You don’t even
know it.”

“So where are we going?”

“London to start with. As soon as we finish
term we’ll head up to Matt’s house.”

“Is Matt your brother?”

“Yeah, he’s cool. Kind of protective of
me,” he said, flushed with embarrassment.

“I like him already,” I said with a grin.

“He wanted to know all about you.”

“What, whether I was just some fangirl
using you to get to them?” I guessed.

“I suppose. I’ve never really asked to
bring anyone with me when I’ve been to see them before.”

“So I’m something of a novelty, then?”

“You are,” he agreed.

“Well, I’ll try not to embarrass you,” I
promised. “Will I get to meet your parents?”

“I expect so. They normally try and get to
at least one performance during each UK tour. The guys are off to the States in
October. They’ll be away for months after that.”

“They’ve done so well! Your parents must be
really proud.”

“Yeah, but they’ve worked hard for it. People
don’t see how much effort goes into everything they do. It’s no accident they’re
successful. They are some of the best musicians I know, present company excepted.
The songs are musically complex. Wait and see, you’ll love it.”

I couldn’t wait.

I’d always been nervous about meeting
strangers, but the thought of meeting the members of Cold Comfort had taken it
to a whole new level. Although it had started to get easier at university, I was
still uncomfortable talking to people I didn’t know. Just the thought of the
band was terrifying. Plus I was worried what they’d think of me. I didn’t want
to let Eddy down, not after he’d been so kind and set all this up.

The last couple of weeks at college had
passed quickly, too quickly, filled with exams which the pair of us had passed
with flying colours. Before I knew it we were packing and heading for the
station. Several times I’d nearly chickened out, but Eddy was so excited I felt
I owed it to him to at least try. I figured I could scurry back to Brighton if
it all got too much.

I’d deliberately dressed in the biggest,
baggiest clothes I could find in my wardrobe – sweatpants with a big baggy
sweatshirt. I wanted no one to confuse me with the sort of girls that usually tried
to catch their eye.

When we got out of the taxi I had my
backpack in one hand and guitar in the other. We made our way towards a large
three-story house, where a few girls with very little in the way of clothes on watched
us with some interest from their perch on a wall. One look at my clothes and
Eddy, and they obviously decided we weren’t worth knowing and returned to
scanning the windows of the house. I put out my elbow and helped Eddy up the
steps.

It was a squeal from a couple of the girls
that first suggested we might have an audience. The door opened before we even reached
the top step, and a good-looking guy leaned out to take Eddy’s bag from him. “Good
to see you, brother,” he said, pulling Eddy into a one-armed hug, the kind that
said he cared but was still manly. It made me feel warm inside to see the
genuine pleasure on Eddy’s face at seeing him. The girls from the wall were by
now almost apoplectic at this extended viewing of one of the members of Cold
Comfort. He waved at them over Eddy’s shoulder and then stood back to let us
inside.

I stepped into a large entrance hall that
was surprisingly well appointed. It looked more like something my Mama would
have liked, rather than the home of a member of the UK’s leading rock band.
“Matt, this is Delilah,” Eddy introduced me, moving away to expose me to the
full glare of his protective older brother. Matt scowled as he scrutinised me
from head to toe. I took a step back under his glare.

“Matt, dial it back,” Eddy said with a laugh.
“I appreciate the protective brother thing, but she’s been my best friend now
for nearly seven months, six and a half of which she had no idea I was related
to you. Not everything is always about you, you know.” I smiled at Eddy, and he
grabbed my hand.

“Has she turned you straight?” Matt asked,
genuinely interested. We both laughed at that.

I said, “Hardly,” and snorted, which made
Eddy laugh again.

“Which rooms have we got?”

“You’ve got yours. I figured you’d want
Delilah up there with you, so she’s in the one to the right.”

“Are the rest of the band here?” he asked.

“Yeah, they’re all downstairs. Dump your
stuff and then come on down and say hello,” he said.

“I’ll show Delilah where to put her things,”
Eddy said, knowing I needed a minute before I was thrown to the lions. Automatically
I put my elbow out again, and he took it without any real thought. I saw the
look of surprise on Matt’s face at our obvious comfort together. Eddy was
oblivious, leading us towards the stairs. “Put the kettle on,” Eddy called over
his shoulder. “Delilah has milk with one.”

My room was stunning. I wanted to suggest
we just stay up there and hide, but I knew we couldn’t. Eddy was excited to be
back with his brother. I wanted to share it, but I was veering between
embarrassed and terrified. Matt looked a lot like Eddy, but a bit more built,
which helped. Most of all, I liked that he obviously cared about his brother. “Come
on,” Eddy said, “let’s see if any of the others are still here.” I prayed they
weren’t. I didn’t think I could cope with more than one at a time.

When Eddy and I walked into the room it
instantly went silent. It was beyond silent… it was almost like all sound had
been sucked from the room, as if we were in a sound vacuum. And it was obvious
I was the cause because they were all staring at me.

Everywhere I looked when I finally lifted
my eyes from the knot on the beautifully waxed oak floorboards I had been
staring at since we walked in there was flesh – male and female. I knew there
were three other band members in Cold Comfort in addition to Matt; Dougie, who
played drums and had some of the biggest biceps I’d ever seen combined with a
buzz-shaved head; Henry, who played bass guitar and had dark hair pulled back
in a ponytail; and finally, Cat. Cat Colton had shoulder-length blonde hair and
piercing blue eyes. He was the lead singer, although I’d heard he could also play
piano. I only knew this much about them because I’d seen their pictures in the articles
Eddy had put in front of me before we’d arrived, not from firsthand experience.
Having taken in the staring gazes, my eyes were now firmly fixed back on the
floor. Back on the knot. If Eddy hadn’t manoeuvred himself behind me I’d have
been out that room faster than a rat down a drainpipe. To add to my discomfort,
in addition to the band there were at least three other guys in the room and a
handful of girls all planted on the band members’ laps. The girls seemed to
have forgotten to put on their clothes, judging by the amount of boobage and
midriff I’d seen in the ten seconds I’d taken in the scene around me. On the
coffee table in the middle of the room there was a mirror and a pile of white
powder I assumed was cocaine. I’d never done any drugs, but you couldn’t be a
student without at least coming across them.

“Nice to see you too, guys,” Eddy said, gripping
my hand reassuringly tight. I was grateful for the support.

“Eddy, my man,” Dougie broke the awkward
silence first. He stood up, letting the girl who’d been fastened to him slither
off as he grabbed Eddy into a bear hug. “Who’s your friend? You batting for the
other team now or something?” he asked, looking at me curiously.

“This is Delilah, and no, I’m still gay. Delilah’s
at uni with me. We share an apartment. I asked her to spend the summer holidays
with me, to stop me getting bored with you lot,” he said, laughing. “I thought
Matt told you?” He looked towards his brother.

“You know I did. You guys just don’t
listen.”

“You said he was bringing a friend. You
didn’t say anything about it being a girl,” Henry said, looking pissed off.

“If it’s going to be a problem…” I began,
backing towards the door and running straight into Eddy, who had moved himself
behind me again. He looked really cross.

“If it’s going to be a problem, then we’ll
both go,” Eddy declared. The band looked at him as if he’d grown a second head.

“Well, well, well,” Cat said, rising to his
feet. The blonde attached to him was more tenacious, and he had to physically
prise her away from him. “The boy went and learned how to say boo to the goose.
Good on you, kid,” he said, hugging him. He turned to look at me. “What did you
say your name was?”

I looked up at the last moment into his sky
blue eyes. “Delilah,” I whispered, blushing. I watched a corresponding gleam of
interest flare in Cat’s eyes as he stared down at me. He towered over me in a
way I found intimidating when it was wrapped up in all that muscle. I felt a
flush of heat from his scrutiny that made me want to get as far away from him
as I could manage as soon as I could manage it.

“Well, Delilah, the boys and I have got to
go and do a sound check. You can come and watch.” It sounded like an
instruction to me. I’d met someone who spoke to me like that before and knew
where that led. I didn’t plan to make the same mistake twice, no matter how
good-looking this guy was. He knew what he looked like, and I’d had enough of
players.

I looked over to Eddy. “We can do whatever
you want to do,” I suggested.

“I’d like to go with the band. You’ll love
watching them. They’re not actually that bad.” I managed a laugh at that, and
it cleared some of the tension from the room.

“You a musician too?” Cat asked.

“She’s brilliant. Could give you a run for
your money,” Eddy answered before I had a chance to. “She plays piano and
guitar.”

“Is that so?” Cat said, looking at me with
renewed interest. “Well, little girl, the cars are coming in thirty minutes, I
suggest you go and get yourself changed if you don’t want to miss leaving with
us.” I looked down at myself confused. I hadn’t intended to change.

“How is it she can go in the car with you,
Cat, and I have to make my own way there?” the girl who’d been attached to him
asked.

“Because she’s a friend of the family and
you’re just a girl I fucked,” Cat said. The other guys sniggered. However much
I disliked the girl, and what she represented, I hated this arsehole for how he
spoke to her even more. I scowled at him, but if he noticed he didn’t seem to
care.

“Delilah,” Eddy said, “I know you weren’t
planning to change, but the stadium will be hot as hell later. You’ll at least
need to wear a t-shirt there.” Cat was looking at me like I was some sort of
freak. This was exactly what I’d hoped to avoid. It was totally reminiscent of
being back in school. I blushed and scurried from the room.

Once back upstairs I wondered what the hell
to wear. The other girls were all dressed in tiny skirts and tops that barely
covered their assets. Emily would have loved it. I didn’t have any clothes like
that, and I wouldn’t have been caught dead in them if I had. I grabbed my best
pair of black skinny jeans and a simple white vest top and pulled them on. Then
I picked up my suede jacket and slipped it over the top. I supposed I looked
okay. It was hardly rock band attire, but it was Delilah attire. I left my hair
loose but grabbed a band so I could put it up if it got really hot later, and I
decided that was as much effort as I intended to make. The more I blended into
the background the better as far as I was concerned.

I could hear Eddy really laughing as I
approached the downstairs room again. Steeling myself, I tried to slip inside
without anyone noticing and totally failed. The conversation stopped dead in
its tracks for the second time. “Oh, fucking hell,” Henry said, furious for
some reason as soon as he saw me. I had no idea what I’d done to upset him. Eddy
scowled at him.

“Henry, leave her be,” he pleaded. “She’s
not what you think she is. I swear.”

“Whatever. I’ve yet to meet one that isn’t
a manipulative slag and won’t use her assets to get what she wants.” I looked
down at myself, wondering what it was that I’d done to so offend him. “I’ll see
you in the car,” he told the other band members as he headed out the room and
up the stairs.

“You scrub up okay, Delilah,” Cat said from
across the room. “And it took you less than ten minutes. That has to be some
sort of female world record for changing. Girls, you could learn a lesson from
that,” he said to the women who were all now clustered around him again. All
three of them scowled at me.

“She hasn’t even got any make-up on,” one
of the trashiest-looking ones said to him in disgust.

“She doesn’t need it,” Cat said. “She’s got
it all going on naturally.” He hadn’t taken his eyes off me since I’d walked
back in. I began to squirm.

“Do you need anything from your room?” I
asked Eddy.

“No, I’m good,” he said, smiling and patting
the empty seat Henry had left beside him. The conversation in different parts
of the room resumed, but I could still feel Cat’s eyes on me as Eddy leaned in
to talk. “Ignore Henry. He had a really bad breakup last year. He was into this
girl, a model, but she dumped him when someone better came along. Now he thinks
all women are the same… only after him for what they can get. He’s been a
complete manwhore ever since.”

“Who came along that’s better than the bass
guitarist of Cold Comfort?” I asked, bemused that love-life issues were no
easier even if you were a member of a world famous rock band.

“The lead singer of Cold Comfort,” Eddy
said with a roll of his massive eyes.

“Oh, yuck,” I said with a grimace. “Couldn’t
he keep off his friend’s girl?”

“Cat’s not great at that,” Eddy said,
smirking. “To be fair to him, girls do kind of throw themselves at him. That’s how
he got his name.”

“Why, what do you mean? What’s it short
for?”

“Catnip. Matt came up with it because in
his words – not mine, I hasten to add – Cat’s ‘irresistible to
pussies’.”

“Seriously?” I groaned. “That is one of the
most unattractive things I’ve ever heard. And girls really go for that?” I
asked, amazed.

“See for yourself,” Eddy said, looking over
at Cat, who now had one of the girls nibbling on his ear while another massaged
the top of his thigh... except when I looked closer I realised it wasn’t his
thigh she was rubbing.

“Jesus,” I exclaimed with shock and
blushed. Cat, who was still looking straight at me, laughed at my reaction. I
lowered my voice and asked Eddy, “Didn’t Henry mind that Cat shagged his
girlfriend? I’m amazed they’re still in a band together.”