Children in Her Shadow (28 page)

The irony of the situation had not escaped Edward that had he succumbed to Sarah’s demands to become a Catholic all those years ago, he would not have found himself in the predicament he was in today. But for Sarah the symbolism of attending her church with Edward and the three children and demonstrating both her faith and her commitment to ultimately marry this man was powerful and placed her centre stage for the nine o’clock service.

There were however mutterings from some members of the parish who felt that it was unbecoming to be making a public commitment to a man who was still married and they could be seen turning their heads away from Sarah and Edward as they walked down the central isle together having taken communion. Some members of the parish, who only attended the nine o’clock service, boycotted the mass for the same reason. None of this impacted upon Sarah and for the most part Edward was simply taken along on this emotional wave.

Edward had visited Ruth’s flat in Fulwood on a couple of occasions only to find when he visited in April that she had left. He tried hard to establish where Ruth had moved but no one knew. This irritated Edward because his intention was to ensure he kept Ruth in his sights so that he could at the same time ensure that she didn’t attempt to make any contact with the family in order to disclose that he had been cheating on Sarah.

The children were settled into the family life on the farm but it was a life where their mother was never mentioned. The only one of the three who had a memory of their mother had been actively discouraged from speaking of her. Should Charlotte make the mistake of mentioning her mother, the punishment, particularly if the other children were nearby was to be sent to her room.

On one occasion when Sarah had visited the house Charlotte was determined not to do as Sarah asked of her and blurted out “You are not my mother and I won’t do it.” The reaction from Sarah was instant, as she asked Edward, “Are you going to let the child speak to me like that”? Rather than playing down the comment, Charlotte was told to apologise and was then sent to bed without her evening meal and told to never speak of her mother again.

This was but one of many occurrences where Sarah’s influence over Edward and her lack of any empathy with the children came through. Sarah was not predisposed towards children and showed regularly that she simply tolerated them rather than attempting to get close to them.

Slowly but cynically, the concept that Ruth was dead was introduced into the conversation with the children so that the idea of her ever returning was slowly removed.

During early June, Ellen developed bronchitis and this rapidly became a matter of some concern to the family doctor. He was so worried about her deteriorating health that he visited Ellen three times a week and towards the end of the month his visits were daily. Ellen was weak and becoming weaker by the day and though she was comfortable there seemed to be no way that she could shake off the bronchitis. Suggestions that she should go into hospital were shrugged off, primarily because she still saw herself as the only person capable of caring for the children.

Without Ellen managing the house, Charlotte at the age of four was doing chores and taking on work for Ellen as her own mother Ruth had done before her. Neither Sam nor Edward seemed capable of doing anything with the children or for themselves.

The wife of a neighbour was drafted in to help each day as Ellen’s health appeared to be taking a turn for the worse but she could not offer to the sensitive and bewildered children what they needed. There was no one to draw the children into a loving embrace and to tell them that everything would be alright. Only Ellen herself as she lay sick in her bed was able to stop Robert’s cry though Charlotte did her best. Maria sat in the corner of Ellen’s room for hours refusing to leave even when Ellen’s coughing became so bad that she could barely breathe.

Sam and Edward were beside themselves with concern knowing that they could not expect the neighbour to help out indefinitely. Father and son had very similar views about women. Both saw them as ‘bearers and carers’, bearers of the children they would single handedly bring up, and the long term carers for them both now and in their dotage. The thought that Sam or Edward might do anything about the house during this crisis had never even crossed their minds. They had no relationship with the children and therefore knew nothing of their routines, needs, likes or dislikes. Ellen did everything for the children, and for her husband and her son.

On the occasions when Sarah visited during Ellen’s illness, she offered no support with the children preferring to be taken out for a walk or even to be taken into Preston or Blackpool by Edward. Their trips out were never with the children, always alone, always as a courting couple and always without a care in the world. Sarah seemed oblivious to the deepening crisis in the Carmichael household and simply distanced herself from the problems and especially from the children.

Ellen was by now weak. The mood of the house was tense with a growing sense of foreboding. And so it was that in the early hours of July the fourth nineteen forty eight, Sam woke the house, grief stricken wailing that Ellen had died in the night.

A doctor was called immediately and when he arrived at about six in the morning he confirmed her death and said that in his opinion she had died as a result of a heart attack. Ellen was fifty years of age.

The neighbour was again called to the house and she took Maria and Charlotte to her home away from the grief and away from the chaos. As the news of what had happened spread around the near and distant neighbours, another neighbour took Robert as they rallied around this family in shock.

Ellen was removed from the house and taken to Preston hospital where a post mortem examination would be carried out. As the undertakers pulled out of the farm yard, Sam and Edward stood looking at each other neither knowing what to do. Sometime later Sarah, then Aunt Matilda and Aunt Dorothy arrived and it was at that point that the enormity of what Ellen’s death would mean to the children dawned upon them all.

Sarah made clear her position on the subject when she said, “There is nothing I can do to help, not until we are married and so you will need to cope yourselves or speak to social services about what they can do.” Aunt Matilda and Aunt Dorothy similarly felt that they would not be able to assist and as though paralysis had set in, they simply sat there in silence. Sam was incapable of doing or saying anything in his grief and it was Edward who eventually rose from his chair and asked Sarah and Aunt Matilda if they would accompany him to Preston to visit the Council offices.

At this stage as Edward drove out of the driveway, no one from the family had spoken to the children, and yet it was evident to them as they were being bundled out of the house in the early morning that something dire had happened to their grandmother. Charlotte had absorbed everything and though she could not fully explain to herself what was going on, she knew that her grandma was dead.

At four thirty on the same day, Edward returned to the house followed by a social worker. The social worker sat with Edward and Sam and explained that she had a foster family in Inglewhite, a small village quite near to the farm that would be able to take Charlotte and Maria as soon as they were packed and ready to go.

In so far as Michael was concerned, of course he was now being called Robert, the social worker explained that he would be taken to Preston and placed with a Catholic foster family. Sarah had been influential in this placement through her own contacts with the parish priest and the social services department were grateful for the help. Although the war was over there were still many children who had been orphaned by the war who were in the care of the overstretched social services system in the country.

The social worker asked that the children should be brought back to the house to prepare them for what lay ahead. However, she was startled to learn that the whole day had passed and no one had seen fit to visit the children nor had anyone spoken to them about what had happened to their grandma.

She immediately took control and asked Sarah to arrange for the two girls to be brought to the house. When they arrived, Charlotte was holding the hand of Maria and neither would let go of each other. The social worker asked that everyone other than Edward should leave the room so that Edward and she could talk to the Children.

Edward, who had very little relationship with the children, not surprisingly was lost for words. With a sympathetic voice, the social worker sat the two girls down next to their father and began the painful task of explaining to them that their grandma had died. The girls once again turned to each for comfort with Charlotte holding Maria almost as though to protect her from the shock.

It was then the social worker’s responsibility to explain that they were being taken to stay with a family in Inglewhite and that they would stay with that family for some time until their father and the Council were able to decide what to do next.

Asked if they had any questions, Charlotte said, “So grandma has gone to heaven to be with mummy.” The social worker turned to Edward but held back her question until the children had been sent to their bedroom to get a toy and their pyjamas. It was only when the children were out of earshot that she sharply asked Edward, “Why would your children think their mother is dead when you have told me only a couple of hours ago that she has deserted you?” Edward mumbled that it seemed easier for the family to build a picture in the minds of the children that she had died rather than to say she had abandoned them.

The social worker was clearly irritated by Edward’s response and turned again to him and asked, “You told me this afternoon that you have no idea of the whereabouts of Ruth your wife and that the last time you saw her was in nineteen forty six when she walked out of Bowland Moss Farm, I am asking you once again Mr Carmichael, do you have any information that could help us to trace your wife so that we can see if we can work with her in possibly reuniting the family, or at least the children with their mother.”

Edward looked towards the half open door and seeing Sarah and Aunt Matilda in the shadow, he said, “I have told you, she left in nineteen forty six and I have seen nothing of her since.” Edward had conveniently omitted to note that he had been to her flat in Fishergate to take Robert in nineteen forty seven and he not surprisingly omitted to tell her that he had been having a relationship with her again resulting in her being pregnant with their fourth child!

The children returned to the room with a parcel of clothes and their dolls. The social worker turned to Edward and reminded him that the family in Preston was expecting him that night with Robert and urged him to leave immediately she and the girls had left the house. With that Charlotte turned to her father and said, “Daddy, will you come to see us?” He nodded and with a gentle tap on their heads, two of his children were taken away. There were no tears, there was no affection shown to them by anyone, they simply walked down the driveway into the uncertainty of their own future.

Later Edward and Sarah took Robert to Preston and handed him over to the waiting family at the door of their home. Once more, there was no emotion. Now all his children were in care and it was all handled as though it was a transaction.

And so, as the day drew to a close, a day that had started with the death of Ellen, and ended with Edward and Ruth’s three children being taken into the care of the local authority, Sarah and Edward drove alone back to the house.

Five days after Ellen’s death the family was provided with the Coroner’s findings from the post mortem examination. Those findings confirmed the family doctor’s view that Ellen had died of a heart attack exacerbated by the bronchitis.

A funeral was immediately arranged and the following week Ellen was buried before a small family gathering and six local neighbours at the local church in Goosnargh. The family, but not the friends returned to the house where plans were formulated that would see Edward and Sam leave the smallholding as soon as they could find a buyer for the lease.

Plans for the children were on hold until the next meeting with social services but the emerging view was that it would be unlikely that Edward could resume his direct role as the children’s father until such time as he and Sarah had married and that was still two years away.

Unaware of the death of Ellen in early July and the turmoil this had created in her children’s lives, Ruth’s mood of optimism and improved self esteem was strengthened by continued praise for the work she was doing for Victor at the garage. She had used time between her ongoing work for the garage to assist Victor with the accounts of one of his other businesses which again demonstrated her grasp of the motor trade business and her excellent book keeping and accountancy skills.

Ruth was touched by the fact that Victor made no references to her pregnancy or the fact that by now she was getting quite large. The other staff in the office seemed to avoid sensitive questions but regularly asked after her health and took pleasure in reporting back to Ruth that since her arrival Victor seemed far less stressed about the business.