California Sunshine (7 page)

              "Nothin' new honeydew."

              He laughed, "Ah, the first girl that knew what to say back."

              "Seriously?" I asked as I sat down next to him.

              He put his phone in his pocket. "Seriously. So breakfast and back to Mike and Ashley's?"

              "Well, I thought if you didn't have any plans, you could show me some of your favorite places."

              He looked at me, "Oh yeah? Alright. Breakfast and sight seeing. Sounds like a good Sunday."

              "I hope so," I replied, smiling at him.

              After breakfast, he took me out sight-seeing and I had to admit, some of the places were breathtaking. By the time we made it back into Los Angeles, it was after lunch.

              "You hungry?" he asked.

              "I'm always hungry. Take me somewhere and it'll be on me since breakfast was on you this mornin'." I smiled, turning the radio up as he continued to drive.

              "You know, am I the only one beginning to think those lines are becoming a little blurred?"

              My smile slowly faded, "No. I was startin' to think the same thing."

              He nodded, "But hey, you know what? I'd much rather those lines become blurred with you. You're a great person."

              I blushed, "I'm just myself."

              "That's exactly why you're great. You're being yourself."

              "Well thank you. Shouldn't we just stick to bein' friends though?" I asked, trying to steer this conversation away from where I feared it was going.

              "Who says we aren't? It was just a question."

              I nodded furiously. "I know."
 

Chapter 7

              The rest of my time spent in California was fun. I stayed at Mike and Ashley's during the day while they were at work. I'd swim in their pool and just hang out in the beautiful sunshine. I split my nights between them and hanging out with Josh. After our talk about blurred lines, we'd kept it light and friendly. It still didn't make it easy leaving today. As bad as I missed Nashville, part of me wanted to stay another two weeks. Ashley, Mike, and Josh had told me they wanted to take me to breakfast before I caught my flight back to Nashville, and obviously, I had agreed.

              We had just finished eating when Ashley looked at me. "I know you said leave it alone, but I'm not. You two are adorable together, I've noticed the looks and how much time y'all spend together. I just wanna know what exactly's goin' on."

              I sighed, but before I could say anything Josh stopped me. "We're friends. I'm not saying that's all we'll ever be, but for now, that's it. You two started out as friends right? You know what that's like. The difference between you two and us is that there was no heartbreak and betrayal before you two found each other. Mike, you hadn't had a girlfriend, a serious girlfriend in what? Six months? And Ashley, you had been living here for a year, and you had left your boyfriend behind. I was cheated on, Jo was cheated on. We're taking it slow. I understand you two are head over heels in love, you're engaged, and you want us to be happy. Have you thought that maybe we are happy in our own way?"

              My mind was still stuck on the part where he had said 'I'm not saying that's all we'll ever be.', my consciousness was caught up in the conversation, though. When I looked up all eyes were on me and I couldn't help but blush.

              "What?" I asked.

              "You okay?" Josh asked.

              I nodded. "I'm fine. Sorry."

              "No, you're not." Mike said and I hated that even he had caught on.

              "Did I say something wrong?" Josh asked, looking more closely at me.

              "No, no. Not at all. I was just thinkin'. I'll talk to you about it later." I said, forcing a smile that wouldn't give me away.

              "You got her when you said, 'I'm not sayin' that's all we'll ever be'. She heard that, and it stuck out." Ashley said.

              My chest was tightening when Josh looked back at me once again. "Is that true?" I shrugged. "Talk to me," he whispered, and I couldn't help but look up at him. In those hazel eyes of his, I found myself falling, but I couldn't let him know that.

              "Later," I whispered in return, just as the waitress walked up, interrupting our conversation. In that moment, I silently thanked God for saving me from this uncomfortable situation.

              It hadn't lasted long of course because now Josh and I were sitting in his truck watching the waves roll in. "Look. We've sat in silence long enough, should I not have said that earlier?"

              I tried silently calming my nerves, but it didn't work. "You said nothin' wrong. It just kind of caught me by surprise."

              "Well, I'm gonna tell you something else. You've begun to chip at the walls I've had up for a long time. No one else has ever been able to do that. I'm beginning to like you more and more. I still just want to take it slow, though. Friends first, then, if and when the time comes we can be more."

              I looked at him quickly. "Why is it so easy for you to voice how ya feel?"

              He laughed. "It's not."

              "I have a feelin' I'm gonna regret this--"

              He stopped me. "Don't ever regret anything other than the words left unspoken."

              I smiled shyly. "Fine. I've started to like you. Today when I looked at you in the restaurant I caught myself fallin'. I don't want to, not yet. Not for a while. I just want a friend, but I just want you to know that I'm open to more when the time is right."

              "So we're on the same page? Well how about we talk as much as we can and see where this goes? Obviously, I'm not going to be dating anyone. But I want you to date--"

              It was my turn to stop him. "I'm not datin' nobody. I don't want to. Not because I'm holdin' on to hope that we'll be together, but because I don't want to date. Not yet."

              "So we're in agreement on being friends and seeing where this goes?" he asked, watching me carefully.

              I met his gaze, "Yes." I whispered.

              "You don't sound too sure about that."

              "It's a scary thing. The unknown. The slight knowledge of feelin's for someone. I'm sorry."

              "Nothing to be sorry for. It is scary."

              Once we were back at Mike and Ashley's house the question came up. "So who's takin' you to the airport?" she asked.

              "How 'bout all y'all?" I asked, winking at her.

              She laughed. "People pleaser."

              "Friend pleaser. Only for y'all."

              Josh smiled, "Well how about we take my truck?"

              My smile widened. "Sounds good to me."

              "Hold on, y'all didn't do nothin' did ya?" Ashley asked.

              I laughed. "No! Glad to hear your southern twang again."

              "I think you bring it out."

              I smiled. "Maybe."

              "Hate to break this up, but doesn't your flight leave in about an hour? If you're gonna make it we better leave now." Mike said.

              I nodded and went to reach for my suitcase, but Josh was already there. I smiled up at him. "Thank you."

              He returned the smile. "You're welcome."

              We were sitting there waiting for my flight to be called, Mike and Ashley had gone to get coffee.

              Josh looked at me. "I want you to call me when you land. I want you to call or text me anytime."

              I smiled. "I'll get annoyin'."

              "Never," he whispered, and I could hear something in his voice.

              "We'll see how ya feel after a few days." I replied, winking at him.

              "Deal. When do you go back to work?"

              "Monday. I'm pretty excited. I have a feelin' I'm gonna be really, really busy, though. Bein' gone for two weeks? I'm gonna have to do some catch-up work."

              "You're ready, though. Right?" he asked smiling.

              I nodded. "Yes!" I exclaimed.

              Just then my flight was called. Ashley and Mike came walking up. They both gave me a hug and made me promise to call them as soon as I had landed. I had obliged but knew I'd be calling Josh first.

              I landed at 6:30 P.M my time and couldn't wait to get home. I got a cab, and on the ride home, I quickly dialed Josh. It rang several times before he answered.

              "How was your flight beautiful?"

              I automatically blushed, "Fine, but you gotta stop doin' that. You got me blushin' like an idiot."

              I could hear the smile in his voice. "I bet you look amazing in red."

              "Shhh," I replied.

              He chuckled. "So the flight was good?"

              "Yeah, it was alright. Got stuck next to some guy who felt the need to snore the entire time."

              "Awe, but it was only a four and a half hour flight. Who's that tired?"

              "This guy. Looked pretty rough too. I'd say late Saturday night, early Sunday mornin'. Doubt he learned his lesson, though."

              Josh laughed. "You."

              I smiled. "Me."

              "So you headed home?" he asked.

              "I am. Ready for my bed."

              "Mine wasn't good enough?" he asked, sounding as if though he were pouting.

              I laughed, "It was great. Didn't want to leave, but I just love my bed."

              "Understandable. People would think the worst if they would have just heard that exchange."

              "People are gonna think what they want anyways. Ugh, I'm so hungry!" I exclaimed. Getting a laugh from Josh.

              "Well eat silly."

              "I'm gonna as soon as I get home. I think I'm gonna order from a place called Taste of Italy. They have the best food ever. Yup. I'm orderin' as soon as I get home."

              "Well, when I come visit you'll have to show me this place."

              "Sounds good." Then it hit me what he had said. "Wait. You're gonna come visit?" I asked.

              "Of course I am. Don't know when, but it's only fair don't you think?" he asked.

              I shrugged. "I guess. I mean, I didn't really go to Cali to see you. I went to see Ashley and Mike, odds were ever in our favor though apparently."

              "Yes, they were. So you almost home?"

              "Yeah. 'Bout ten minutes away. I'll probably hang up in five so I can get inside, order food, and call Ashley. But I'll call you back after if that's alright?"

              "You know it's fine. I might go out to get some beer. If I don't answer I'll call you back asap."

              I smiled. "Sounds good. Well, I'll talk to ya later. Bye."

              "Bye." he replied and we both hung up as the cab pulled up outside my house.

              After ordering my food and talking to Ashley, which in and of itself felt like forever, I got ready to take a shower. Nothing ever felt better than a shower in your own bathroom, and going to bed in your own bed. It was like heaven. I was convinced that if heaven was hot showers and your own bed, then I was ready to die ten minutes ago. I stepped into the shower, steam swirling around my body and I instantly relaxed. Heaven. I thought and sighed.

              I finished my shower and got dressed in black leggings and a baggy army green shirt. My hair was still wet when I dialed Josh's number again.

              "That was a long wait," he answered.

              "I'm sorry. Ashley wouldn't shut up and I took a shower. I'm absolutely convinced showers and my own bed is what my heaven is gonna be."

              "Sounds like an awesome Heaven. Don't be sorry, though, I was just giving you hell."

              "Alright. So did you go get beer?"

              "Yeah. You get food?"

              I laughed, "Yeah, and ate it while I was talkin' to Ash. She wouldn't shut up about us so I figured I'd just set the phone down on speaker and eat. What she don't know though is I was watchin' TV, so I'm not too sure what all she said."

              He laughed. "I like you more and more."

              I smiled. "I'm glad. But that's our secret alright? She cain't know."

              "Your secret's safe with me."

              Josh and I had talked until I couldn't keep my eyes open any longer.

              "Get some sleep." he had said which made me smile.

              I yawned. "Okay. I'll try to shoot you a text sometime tomorrow. I'm not sure how busy I'll be."

              "Don't worry about it. I'll be at work 'til 5."

              "Okay. I'll talk to ya later. Goodnight."

              "Goodnight. Sleep well."

              "You too. Bye."

              "Bye."

              And with that, we hung up and I set my alarm. I curled up in my bed, pulling the covers tightly around me. For the first time in a really, really long time I fell asleep with a smile.

              It didn't last long because a few hours later I woke myself up crying. My heart was beating out of my chest. I ran a shaky hand through my hair. I tried to steady my breathing, but I couldn't. I tossed the blankets off me, slowly slid out of bed and walked into the kitchen. I looked in the fridge and realized I had no booze of any kind. I slammed the door shut angrily. I sighed heavily and decided to make me a cup of tea. I rolled my eyes and groaned as I waited for the water to boil. I was trying to fight my heartbreak with annoyance, but it wasn't working. The pit in my stomach continued to grow and I couldn't stop it. The storm was coming, and it was going to be worse than normal.

Chapter 8

              Weeks had passed and it was now October. Josh and I had talked almost every day. Sharing pictures of our day's when we could. Of course, Mike and Ashley were still asking if we were together, every time though we told them no. I think they stopped buying into our answer, but we didn't care. We knew the truth, and that's all that mattered. I hadn't told Josh about my recurring nightmares. I didn't want to drag him down with me, so I kept it to myself.

              I had the weekend off so I decided to fly to Cali to surprise them all for Halloween. I had a rental car ready and waiting when I got there. I wanted my own way around instead of depending on Josh or Ashley and Mike. Josh had been telling me about a Halloween party he had been wanting to go to if I could be there. So I had bought myself a costume and made plans to go to this party.

              I landed at 7:30 PM California time. I loaded my suitcase into the rental and made my way to the hotel I was staying at. Once I was checked in and settled into my room it was already 8:30 PM. Traffic had been horrendous. I called for a cab, told them my location and what time they should be there. I curled my hair and half pinned it up with a beautiful diamond barrette. I lined my eyes in black and smudged black eyeshadow along my eyelid and underneath my eye. I put on dark red lipstick and moved on to my dress. I had bought the prettiest ball gown I could find. It was black tulle, maroon satin over it. Black jewels adorned the breast of the dress. I grabbed my ticket and sterling silver masquerade mask and headed downstairs.

              While I was waiting for the cab my phone began ringing. It was a picture from Josh. He was in a suit with a black masquerade mask on. I smiled and sent a picture from earlier that day.

              "I'll take a better picture once I'm ready. Have fun!" I sent.

              "I can't wait to see your costume. I will, you have fun as well. Still wish you were here." I read and quickly put my phone back in my clutch as the cab pulled up next to me.

              I arrived at the party shortly before ten. I gave the bouncers my ticket and they let me in without a problem. I walked around for a while, trying to find Josh. I was half-assed looking for Ashley and Mike, but I really wanted to find Josh. I gave up for a while and walked over to the bar.

              "What can I get ya?" the bartender asked.

              "Grim Reaper, please? More Rum than Kahlua."

              "You sure about that?" he asked.

              I nodded. "Absolutely," I replied.

              "I love your dress!" I heard a girl shout over the music. I turned to see if they were talking to me or someone else. When I faced her, her eyes widened. "Jo?!" she asked in shock.

              "You weren't supposed to know I was here!" I exclaimed as she threw her arms around me.

              "Does Josh know you're here?" she asked.

              I shook my head. "Not yet. I've been lookin' for all y'all but got tired and decided I needed a drink. Help me out here. Please. I want it to be a surprise. Ask him to go get drinks or somethin'. Send him here and I'll wait."

              "You're crazy! You gotta tell me something first, though, do you have feelings for him?"