California Sunshine (5 page)

Chapter 5

              On the way to the beach, Josh and I had stopped at his house to grab his surfboard.

              "You can come inside if you want. I won't be long, though."

              "Mind if I just hang out here?" I asked.

              He smiled, "Not at all. Hey, do you know how to surf?"

              I laughed, "Kinda. Not really good at it, though."

              "Want me to teach you?" he asked, standing there, his door open.

              "Maybe one day. I think today I just want to lay in the sand and play in the water. I'll watch you, though." I replied, realizing as soon as the words left my mouth that I was being a little flirty.

              "Sounds good to me," He replied, winking at me. He turned and went inside and my heart gradually found it's place back in my chest behind my ribs. I had to shake my head, I was being ridiculous. I had just said that morning that I wasn't looking for anything, but here I was flirting with a guy who I had only met twice.

              He came back carrying a backpack and his surfboard. He put it in the back and threw his backpack into the back seat. When he got in he sat there and looked at me, which made me really uncomfortable.

              "What?" I asked.

              "You get the feeling Ashley and Mike are trying to get us together?" he asked.

              I laughed, "Yeah I do. I'll apologize for Ashley. She thinks I need somebody when really I don't. I just roll with it."

              He smiled. "I like that. I roll with it too. No point in pushing something."

              "Exactly! Like, if it happens, it happens. I don't mean that about us, I mean it about anyone."

              "Yes! Mike's been trying to set me up for a while now and I'm just like, bro, chill."

              I laughed again. "They ain't got no chill button."

              He chuckled and shook his head. "Doesn't sound like it. So why does Ash think you need somebody?"

              I shrugged, "I don't know. She worries. Just 'cause I like to drink don't mean I need somebody. It just means I like to have fun. Then I think she secretly worries 'cause I ain't been in bed with anyone in a long time."

              "How long is a long time?"

              "Over a year."

              "So last night, you talked about a long story. We got time, wanna tell me about it?" he asked. I chewed on the inside of my lip, mulling it over. "No pressure."

              "No, it's okay. My ex, Lance. We were together for three years. Things were good, but for about four months before I found him cheatin' on me, it all kinda went downhill. All of a sudden he was stayin' late at work. When he'd get home he'd go straight to bed. I had a feelin' that he was cheatin', but I had no way to prove it. He wouldn't even look at me anymore. Made me feel terrible, and man my anxiety went through the roof. I just fell back, though, I didn't fight him, I didn't try to get his attention 'cause deep down I knew. Well on Valentine's I got off early and figured I'd try to do somethin' special. Try to spice things up again. I got home and when I walked in our room I saw 'em." I stopped and looked out the window. "He tried to say it wasn't really happenin' but what the hell was I seein' then? I kicked him out and didn't hear from him for a few months until he started callin'. Tryin' to get me back. He still calls me sometimes, hence why my phone took a swim in the pool. I ain't tryin' to stay stuck in the past, but he did a number on my self-esteem when he stopped lovin' me."

              "Damn, that's shitty. On Valentines?" he asked.

              I nodded, "Yeah. In our bed, in our house. Three years of my life I'll never, ever get back. But last night you said your ex cheated on you too. What happened?"

              "She was just a bitch. Not really much to tell, she had been cheating on me the entire relationship. She did good hiding it, until one day she was in the shower and her phone started blowing up with texts. Gave it all away. I kicked her out. End of story."

              "People are dumb. Their loss though right?" I asked.

              He smiled, "Hell yeah. I like you so much more the more we talk."

              I looked at him quickly. "What?"

              He laughed, "Like friends. Not like like you. Besides, I like to get to know a girl first."

              "Sorry. I freaked a little, we've only actually talked twice. Last night and today, and I was worried 'cause I don't think you really know the level of crazy that's sittin' in this seat next to you."

              He cocked an eyebrow. "Tell me about this level of crazy."

              I smiled. "Well, I have this terrible thing called depression and anxiety. Awesome match, but it makes me seem less than amazin'. I let these stupid thoughts bury themselves in my brain, tellin' me I ain't good enough for nobody. Stuff like that. So then I push people away."

              "Doesn't sound crazy to me. Sounds like there's some stuff that you really need to talk to somebody you trust about. Don't ever say you're crazy, was it douchebag that gave you anxiety and started your depression?" he asked.

              I shrugged, "I don't know. He didn't help. I've dealt with depression my entire life, anxiety too, so I guess not. The depression comes from losin' both my parents when I was ten. I went and lived with my grandparents 'til I was eighteen then I moved to Nashville for college. I've been on my own since I graduated high school. My grandparent's didn't agree with all my tattoo's and stuff, very conservative, so they told me I had to leave. So I did. My anxiety comes from bullies. I was always different, had my own style, I got made fun of a lot."

              "Well fuck them. I'm sorry, but people are shitty just across the board. I think you're beautiful. I say that as a friend. I'm sorry for your loss, though, that must have been rough."

              I nodded, "It was. My brother lived with my Aunt, it hit him hard, but he was old enough to take care of himself ya know?"

              "So you got an older brother. He's not worried about you not having a phone, or did you call him?"

              I laughed, "My brother and I don't talk much. He's busy with his life, I'm busy with mine."

              "So you don't have anybody but Ashley?"

              "Pretty much. I mean I got friends in Nashville, but Ashley's like my only family. Well and Mike."

              "Well,  at least, you have them. You're not completely alone then."

              "Not completely. What about you?"

              "Oh, I got my dad and step-mom. A brother and a sister."

              I smiled. "That's awesome. You like her? 'Cause I've always heard horror stories."

              He laughed. "I love her. My mom passed when I was five. My dad married Robin when I was seven, she's the only mom I really even know."

              "Don't take this the wrong way, but didn't your dad move on pretty fast if they got married when you were only seven?"

              "My mom had ovarian cancer, stage four. He knew it was coming. He made peace with it when my mom told him to move on. That and my brother, sister and I deserved a mother in our lives."

              My eyes welled up with tears as I just looked at him. "I'm so sorry," I whispered.

              "Don't apologize. You didn't know. Hey, I assumed you had a boyfriend."

              "So not the same!" I exclaimed as we stopped and I looked out at the beach. "That was fast."

              "Times flies when you're having fun." he replied, winking at me and getting out.

              I laughed, I couldn't help it. When I stepped out of his truck I still had a smile on my face and so did he. I could see Ashley watching us, a little bit of a sparkle in her eyes. She thought she'd won, but she really hadn't.

              While Josh and Mike were surfing, Ashley and I were laying on our towels drying from our swim. "Y'all looked happy." she said, a smile in her voice.

              "He's fun, but we're just friends. Neither of us wants a relationship, so leave it alone."

              "Touchy are we? Fine, I'll leave it alone, but I ain't promisin' nothin' for Mike."

              "Ya know, when ya get all riled up, it's hard to believe you've been livin' in California for the last six years," I said, giggling.

              "Shut it. You can take the girl outta the country, but you just can't take the country outta the girl." She said, giggling too.

              "Look at these two, get them together and they never stop giggling," Mike said as I slowly slid my sunglasses down and looked at him.

              "You knew it was gonna happen when you invited me out here. So shut your face." I replied, winking at him. I noticed Josh slightly smiling and watching me.

              "Feisty are we?" Mike asked.

              I laughed, "Mike you know I'm always feisty. It's who I am."

              "That's very, very true. Watch out Josh, she might bite."

              "Not hard, though," I said winking at him. He winked back, but I could feel the anxiousness start all over again. "I shouldn't be flirtin'. What the hell am I doin'?" I asked myself, but put my shades back on like nothing had ever happened.

              We were sitting at The Cliff, waiting for our food to be brought out when Ashley turned to me. "So y'all looked happy when ya met up with us. Wanna elaborate?"

              "No. There ain't nothin' to 'elaborate' about. Just two friends havin' a conversation. Nothin' wrong with that." I said, somewhat quietly.

              "Ash, I love you. Mike, you're my best friend. But you two need to take care of yourselves and stop meddling in other people's lives. If we want to date each other or other people, we will. She's grown, I'm grown, we can make our own decisions. Thank you both for caring, but please, leave her and me alone." When Josh finished his speech, he took a sip of his beer and winked at me. I couldn't help myself, I had to smile.

              "Well sorry that I worry about my best friend--"

              "Ash, don't. I know you worry, but I'm fine. I told you if I wanted to get laid I would. But I don't do one night stands. I want somethin' real. And until I find that, if I ever find it, I ain't gonna go whore myself out."

              "You two would look great together, though, just sayin'," Mike said.

              Josh laughed and looked at me. "We would, but we're friends." I smiled, a blush coming to my cheeks.

              The sun had set by the time we made it back to the vehicles. Ashley and Mike were next to his truck, Josh and I was next to his.

              "Hey, this isn't a date or anything, but would you want to hang out tonight? Talk some more, have some beers?" Josh asked.

              I smiled. "Sounds good to me, but you know they're gonna start assumin' stuff right?"

              He shrugged. "Let 'em assume. We'll know the truth right?"

              I smiled, "Right." I replied.

              Josh rounded his truck with me to tell Ashley and Mike that we were going to go hang out. Of course, when we told them Ashley got a shit-eating grin and all I could do was roll my eyes.

              "We won't wait up," She said, winking at me. In that moment, all I could think about was punching her in the face.

              "Ash, baby, back off," Mike said, resting his hand on the small of her back.