California Sunshine (11 page)

Chapter 11

              "So are you gonna tell him or am I?" Ashley asked.

              I groaned. "It hasn't really come up Ash. And I ain't gonna be like 'So hey, mind if I come in for Thanksgivin'?' I ain't doin' that!"

              "Then I'll tell him." My eyes filled with tears as I laid my head down in my arms. "I know you're trying not to cry. Just fly out with my parents and come to Thanksgiving here."

              "Ash I don't know. I think I'm just gonna hang out here and watch Netflix."

              "No, you're not. Even if I have to make Josh fly down there and kidnap you." she said, and the tears began to fall.

              "Please just stop. I'll call ya later." I said and quickly hung up before the anxiety took over. I grabbed my hoodie, wallet and keys, but before I could make it to the door my phone began to ring. I groaned, wiping my eyes furiously. "Hello?" I asked, disgruntled.

              "Whoa. Hey. You okay?" Josh's calm voice came over the phone.

              "I'm fine."

              "I don't think you are. In fact, I know you're not. Ashley called me."

              The tears wouldn't stop. "I hate her. I'll talk to you later."

              "Baby, don't hang up. I told you, I'm here to help. Yeah, I'm hundreds of miles away, but I'm still here. What's going on?"

              My voice caught in my throat. He called you baby. "Nothin'." I lied.

              "Jo."

              I sighed. "She wants me to come out there for Thanksgivin'. I told her I just wanted to hang out and watch Netflix. One time alone never hurt nobody."

              "Is that what you really want?" he asked.

              I gasped. "No. I want my own family to celebrate holiday's with. Not other people's families."

              "What about your brother?"

              "What about him? I ain't talked to him since September. I ain't callin' nobody to see if I can find somewhere to go."

              "Baby, I know your pride gets in the way, but come here. My parent's would love to see you again."

              "Yeah, and when they ask why I'm not with my family? 'Yeah they died, I have a brother, but we don't talk.' Okay." I was getting frustrated. I threw my keys on the counter and went to the fridge.

              "I'll explain it to them before you get here."

              "Babe--." I caught myself.

              "Yes?" he asked.

              I couldn't help but smile. "Fine. You win. I'll be there the day before and leave the day after."

              "You can come out two days before and leave the day after." he said, a smile in his voice.

              "Nope."

              "Yup."

              "Grrr. Fine! You sir, drive a tough bargain." I said, shutting the fridge door.

              "No, I just know what I want. And I want you here with me. I've got something important to talk to you about. I'll see you the twenty-fourth."

              "Wait. What?" I asked.

              He laughed. "I'll see you the twenty-fourth. I'll talk to you later. I may not call, I'm going to be super busy the next few days."

              "Don't do this to me."

              "I'll talk to you later Joanna." he said and hung up.

              I was left standing there just staring at my phone. I sighed and grabbed my keys, this time, I actually got to leave, though.

              I stepped off the plane as though I fit in here. I didn't, but my clothes suggested otherwise. I had dark red leather skinny jeans on, black pumps with a bow, a black lace long sleeved shirt and my hair was in a low, messy bun. I had minimal makeup on, a rose gold watch, black diamond earrings and an angel pendant necklace adorned my neck. I sent Josh a text saying to meet me at luggage claims.

              When I finally made it over, he was standing there holding something behind his back. When he looked at me, there was something in his eyes I had never seen before. I walked up and threw my arms around him. His hand went to the small of my back, pulling me closer.

              "You look amazing," he whispered.

              I smiled as I pulled away. "Thank you. I had a meetin' this mornin'. I woulda so wore sweats if I hadn't."

              "Well, you look really sexy. This is for you," he said, pulling a dark red rose from behind his back.

              My eyes lit up as I looked up at him. "Thank you." I whispered.

              "Let's get outta here. Do Ashley and Mike know you're in town?"

              I shook my head. "Nope. Just like we talked about. We've got the next two days to ourselves." I replied. Nerves were playing racket ball in my stomach. I hadn't forgotten the fact that he had said he had something to talk to me about.

              "Why so quiet?" he asked while we were on the road.

              "Nerves," I replied quietly.

              "Why because I said I had something to talk to you about?" I nodded, trying to keep the tears at bay. "Baby, look at me." I looked at him slowly. "It's not bad. I promise."

              I nodded. "I know. I have a feelin' I know what you wanna talk to me about and that's the part that's gettin' to me."

              "Why?"

              "'Cause I'm afraid I ain't gonna be good enough. There's gorgeous girls out here, everywhere. We're over two thousand miles apart. How's that gonna work? Fly out every chance we get? I don't know how well I'm gonna be at this whole long distance thang."

              "Are you turning me down before I've even asked you?" he asked, sounding hurt.

              "I don't know."

              "Let me tell you something. You are everything I've ever wanted. It may be hard to believe right now, and it may sound crazy, but it's the truth. The moment our eyes met that night you were laying in Ashley and Mikes front yard I knew I needed you. More than I had ever needed anyone in my life. So if you think you're the only scared one, you're wrong. I've never had a long distance relationship either, we'll figure it out as we go. And those gorgeous girls all have the help of plastic surgeons. I want real, not superficial. And you know what? You're the realest woman I've ever met. You have not once asked me for anything other than to build a fort with you. I'm in love with you and I'm not afraid to admit it. But if you don't want to try, I support that decision. If all we ever are is friends, well then I'd much rather be your friend than nothing at all."

              "I don't know what I want. I want to be yours, only yours. At the same time, though, my past is holdin' me back. I don't want it to, God I don't want it to. I want to sit here next to you and say, 'Yes Josh. I want to be your girlfriend.' I just cain't. Every time I think of you I get this stupid smile on my face, and I think of all our conversations. The littlest things will make me think of you and I catch myself reading our texts. I love you, there's no doubt about it, but what happens when you can no longer handle me? Huh? What? Because I'm promisin' you I ain't easy to deal with. I get crazy, I throw stuff. I punch stuff. I cry, I yell and I scream. I spiral outta control, I drink way to much and sleep very little. When I get angry I have to walk away, I have to have my time so that I can talk things out. I do a good job hidin' what's really goin' on inside--"

              He stopped me. "No, you don't. Believe it or not, I can hear it in your voice when you aren't doing as great as you want me to believe. Like the day I called to tell you to fly here for Thanksgiving? Ashley had texted me, not called. Told me to call you, your voice gave it away. Let me ask you something. Do you really think you're too much to handle, or is that just what you were told by that asshole? Because I can assure you I've got ways to deal with your 'crazy'. Hell, you wanna break shit? Let's break shit. Wanna hit something? I'll buy you a punching bag and put it in that spare room. I am not a quitter, not unless the other person is too. And you know what I'm talking about."

              I sat there, chewing on the inside of my lip the rest of the way to his house. I had nothing to say. The battle I was fighting was inside myself. My brain and heart were at war, and it was getting nasty. So finally, I shut them both up by listening to my gut. Something I hadn't done since I found Lance cheating on me.

              When we pulled into his garage I turned to him. "I--."

              He stopped me. "I haven't actually asked you yet. So don't answer until I do. We're going to dinner in an hour."

              I smiled, stopping him by putting my hands on his chest. "So I don't get a say in that?" I asked.

              He pulled me closer. "No. You don't. If it's the only date I take you on, then I'm going to make it a night to remember."

              "Is that so?" I asked, quietly, leaning up and kissing him.

              His hands slid to my hips, pulling me even closer. "Yeah, that is so," he whispered, looking into my eyes.

              We were sitting at a dimly lit table. I had a dark red velvet dress on, with matching shoes. Josh wore a black button up shirt and gray slacks. He had ordered each of us a glass of red wine, and for his sake, I drank it. Sipping slowly. It wasn't half bad, but it still didn't make me like it anymore.

              We were done with our food when Josh looked at me and took my hand. Butterflies erupted in my stomach as though they'd all just found themselves changed from caterpillars.

              "Joanna, you know that in these last few months I've fallen in love with you. Now I want to know if you'll be my girlfriend."

              I blushed, looking down at the table. Without fighting with myself or the voices, I looked back up at him. "Joshua, yes I'll be your girlfriend," I replied.

              A smile spread across his face, touching the corners of his eyes. "Really?"

              I smiled. "Really." I replied, and for once in almost three months I wasn't unsure of my decision.

              He held his wine glass up and I followed suit. "To our first date, and to the many more to come. To all the nights I'm going to be the one you call when you need someone. To all the shit we're gonna break together in the future. I love you."

              I giggled. "To all the nights I'm gonna wake you up 'cause I couldn't sleep. To all the times I'm gonna wanna make you smile just because I can. I love you."

              We touched our glasses together and sipped our wine. "You're still not a fan are you?" he asked.

              I laughed. "How'd you ever guess?"

              "The look on your face says it all. How about we get out of here and drink something you like. See where the night leads."

              I bit my bottom lip. "If we drink what I like I'm fairly certain I know where the night's gonna lead."

              He laughed. "Well, it sounds like an adventure I'm more than willing to participate in."

              "You sure?" I asked.

              "I'm positive. Now let's get out of here and see just how amazing this night will end."

              I nodded as I took a quick glance at my wine glass. Is that crap really givin' me liquid courage? Or am I really out of my mind tonight? I shook the thoughts from my head, grabbed my jacket and followed Josh out to hail a cab. Either way, Jo, I do have a feelin' tonight is gonna be somethin' you remember for a long, long time.