“Who told you this?”
“Hank did and Heath confirmed it. Oh, to know
you are all right,” Ayden said and brought me into his embrace.
“Again, I am sorry. I will never let anything like that happen
again. I will do better. I will make you proud. Whatever it is that
you need, just ask me, all right?” he asked his voice hoarse, his
heart heavy.
I shook my head in disbelief, though Ayden
didn’t notice. Heath had Ayden thinking it was Hank who’d come to
my rescue. Hank was the hero, not Heath. He’d fabricated a tale so
there would be no hoopla, no honor for saving my life.
Puzzled and taken aback, unable to comprehend
what my mind was trying to absorb, I told Ayden I was tired and
asked him to come sit with me back in my room. “ Tell me everything
that happened, where you were these past few days.”
I lay comfortably in my bed and listened
attentively as Ayden described the reason for his absence.
“When I stepped out from the post office I
noticed the dark clouds sweeping in. I don’t think my feet touched
the ground until I reached the rowboat, but by then it was as if a
giant monster had been unleashed into the sea. I couldn’t believe
the waves; my heart sank as the wind and rain battered the island.
The visibility quickly diminished and I knew there was no chance I
could get back to Jasper Island. I was relieved when I could
vaguely make out the light. I knew you were up there, minding the
light as any good keeper’s wife would do.” His voice began to
crack, his eyes filled with tears that he refused to let escape,
blinking them away. “The hotel was full, so Mr. Goodwin let me stay
in the stable. But I couldn’t sleep. All I did was worry about you.
There was no chance any boat on the ocean would survive that kind
of storm. I believed you and Heath would have many rescues and I
wished I were there. I was worried sick!”
“I’m happy you were safe,” I murmured as he
knelt beside me and rested his head against mine.
“But you weren’t. How can I forgive myself
for neglecting the lighthouse?” Ayden finally let his tears flow,
and he sobbed uncontrollably into my pillow.
“Ayden, oh, Ayden,” I crooned and stroked his
dark hair. “If I forgive you, can’t you forgive yourself?”
He shot up and quickly wiped his tears away
with the back of his hand.
“The mail . . . I dropped it running back to
the harbor. There was a letter for Heath,” he said, pulling it from
his coat pocket. “But it got ruined.”
Ayden felt as if he could do nothing right,
not even deliver a letter without something going wrong.
“I will give it to him and explain.”
“Can I get you anything?” he asked
meekly.
“Some tea would be nice,” I said with a
smile.
“Tea it is. Rest until I get back. Then I
will read to you if you would like, before I get to work
tonight.”
“I would like that, very much.”
He leaned in and kissed me on the cheek, but
when he did, I swore a subtle hint of perfume lingered in his hair.
It couldn’t have been; I was still imagining things, simply from
being fatigued, I hastily convinced myself. Ayden loved me; he
cried for me; he wanted to be with me and only me. He wasn’t like
other men; he didn’t have a wandering eye. Ayden was patient,
devoted, and passionate about waiting for me, his wife, his
cherished bride.
Life went on as normal as could be. Ayden
lived and breathed the lighthouse, though making certain he gave me
his full attention when near me. As soon as I was able to, I got
right back to my daily work schedule. In the evenings, I stayed
with Ayden and watched him work, kept him company, and gave him my
undivided attention.
Heath, on the other hand, stayed distant,
puttering about the island or assisting Ayden, and for a while,
locked himself away in his cottage and retreated to reading. Only
one thing was different, a dramatic change in the direction the
wind blew. After the storm, the sun never recovered, and the
typically pale blue sky was now obscured with menacing clouds that
threatened to douse whatever sunshine managed to elude them. There
was a substantial chill in the air; it was much colder than normal
for late August.
The talk at supper was of the new keeper and
his large family. Heath managed to converse easily with his
brother, but limited his attention when it came to me.
“When they arrive tomorrow, let’s cook them a
big supper. Are you up for that?” Ayden cautiously asked.
“I will make three times the amount I
normally do. I can even bake a cake.”
“Wonderful! They should feel more than
welcome with one of your delicious cakes,” Ayden said as I poured
him a cup of coffee.
“Luckily, we have the second cow now. Plenty
of milk for all their young ones. Can’t believe our little island
will be full of children,” I said.
“Heath, did you finish the repairs I asked
you to do?”
Heath was working to fix the leak in the roof
of the second keeper’s house. He made it appear easy to climb the
ladder, and somehow managed to hold onto his tools with one
hand.
“It is done. I expect they won’t have any
more leaks, unless a storm as sizeable as the last blows through,”
Heath said while locking eyes with mine.
My face filled with heated flushed, and
tingles shot through my body, just as they used to, taking me by
surprise. We now shared a secret, one that burned inside me as hot
as the flames that dared to threaten my life. I could have told
Ayden, exposed Heath’s heroic act, and revealed how I believed he
also inflicted his own injury, just to get himself back to our
island to be near to me. Heath, for some unknown reason, didn’t
disclose all of my past to Ayden, or divulge the murder of Ned
Griffin that I had surely caused. Heath didn’t elaborate on the
unpleasant details of my wayward past, the ones I had kept from
Ayden when I first confessed my life in Savannah and with Richard
Parker. I was relieved in one sense, yet I couldn’t shake the
persistent worry in the back of my mind, the voice that warned me
and was there to remind me to be cautious and take nothing at face
value.
Don’t let your guard down, Lillian. Heath is still very
dangerous. He could ruin all you and Ayden have. He still hates
you. He doesn’t want to see you happy. He is not the kindhearted
boy from years ago.
“Hope never to see such a storm like that
again,” Ayden commented, gulped the last of his coffee, and headed
out with Heath to see the work.
I was excited about a new family coming to
join us, extending the unit we had already formed on Jasper Island.
Maybe the wife would be similar in age to me. I would have a new
friend, a woman who could share in the daily grind of island life.
Or perhaps she was years older, like Opal, a mother figure I could
turn to for advice as well as companionship. Children running and
playing would take me back to the happy times here at the
lighthouse. I looked forward to hearing school stories and even
helping them with homework, if I had any free time.
The timing could not have been better. I
needed a distraction, something to take my mind off my troubles and
my frequent uninvited feelings for Heath. I was tired of noticing
his yearning eyes following me everywhere, and exhausted from
sensing his uninvited desire for me. Each night as I closed my
lids, I saw Heath’s forlorn vision in my mind, and remembered how
he fearlessly came and pulled me from the inferno and made me well
again. I was torn between being grateful and having him interpret
my gratitude as a signal that I would welcomed his advance, or
staying disengaged and aloof toward him, keeping safe from him as
well as myself.
I regularly questioned my conclusions and
doubted that they were accurate. I still wanted to believe that
what he’d said when I was medicated was all made up in my mind and
that when he now gazed at me, it was because he pitied me, or at
least, pretended to - not because he truly did long for me.
There was a way to have all my doubts put to
rest. I had two letters, which I suspected were from his beloved
Sarah, yet I hadn’t found the courage to take them out from my
bottom drawer, underneath my stockings, and read them. I was too
afraid of what they would reveal.
Instead of keeping Ayden company that night,
I spent my time preparing the second keeper’s quarters for their
arrival. I swept, dusted, washed the interior windows, and polished
the silverware. Then I took the rugs out under the light of the
full yellow moon and beat the dust and grime out with the back of
my broomstick. I finished up just before dawn broke, making their
beds with fresh linens. There were only three beds in the house and
I couldn’t imagine where they were all going to sleep.
As the sun began to hover above the horizon,
I sat down, exhausted, and admired my hard work. The place was
spotless, the floor clean enough to eat off. The windows that were
once covered with layers of soot and filth were now clear, and I
opened them to allow the fresh ocean breezes to take away the musty
odors.
“You have done a fine job,” Ayden commented.
He had been standing there in the open doorway watching me catch my
breath.
“I hope they feel welcome.”
“Of course they will. You worry too much,”
Ayden said with a comforting smile.
“I should start on the preparations for
supper,” I said, slowly rising from the chair.
“Have Heath help you. You’re tired, and he
doesn’t mind doing that kind of woman stuff.”
“I can handle it just fine. I don’t need his
help,” I replied.
“Suit yourself. I have to get down to the
shore. They should be here within the hour. I will have Heath wait
with me. I will need his extra hand to unload the trunks. His one
arm works as well as two good ones on most men.”
I didn’t comment. I didn’t let him know I
believed Heath could use his bad hand.
I watched as the vessel out in the distance
neared the island. Two rowboats were being loaded and prepared to
disembark. A chill of excitement ran through me. There were new
people to meet, relationships to develop. I hoped they liked me,
and most of all
,
I prayed they knew nothing of my past.
Would I be recognized for my part as a burlesque singer and dancer,
or as a model for the nation’s most famous ladies’ magazine? I
didn’t need the headache, the grief that fame had unfortunately
burdened me with.
My nerves were on edge, and my stomach felt
as if there were butterflies fluttering madly around inside as I
stood on the bluff with my hand shielding my eyes from the sun’s
intense glare, watching them come closer and closer to our island.
Heath and Ayden waited only a few minutes before they began to pull
the boats ashore.
The middle children scurried off, running up
the embankment, while one boy, who must have been close to the age
Ayden had been when I first came to Jasper Island, assisted with
the trunks. The oldest girl had beautiful long blond hair, almost
the exact color as mine. She stayed behind and held a baby on her
hip, with two small boys at her side, while her mother carried
another young one off the boat.
Without waiting another moment, I made my way
down to the shore to greet them. Along the way, two red-haired,
freckle-faced girls whizzed by, laughing and running toward the
house without looking my way or stopping to say hello. The oldest
girl led two identical-looking boys and the baby boy, who was no
more than a year old and was crying and tugging at her hair. “Now
you stop that, Willard!” She spoke with a firm voice. The baby
stopped crying when I came over. His green eyes widened, then he
reached out to with his small dimpled hand took hold of my
hair.
“He likes to tug on hair, as you can see,”
the teenage girl stated flatly. She was taller than me, and had a
bosom as developed as any grown woman. “I’m Sylvia Cooper. This
baby here is Willard, and these boys are Owen and Oliver. No one
can tell them apart except for me and Ma.”
“Nice to meet you. I’m Mrs. Dalton, and the
two men helping your parents are Mr. Ayden Dalton, my husband and
primary keeper, and his brother, Doctor Heath Dalton.”
“I best get Willard a bottle of milk before
he starts bellyaching again. Nice to meet you, Mrs. Dalton.”
“Nice to meet you, Sylvia.” I said while
tenderly stroking Willard’s baby soft hair.
Ayden called for me, and I made my way down
to greet the rest of the Coopers.
“Pleased to meet you. Welcome to Jasper
Island,” I greeted while standing beside Ayden.
“This is James Cooper and his wife, Hazel.
They were relocated from a station off the outer banks of North
Carolina,” Ayden informed me. “And that strapping young man is
James, Jr.”
James, Sr. was a small man, and years older
than Ayden. He had a full head of gray hair, and his face was tired
and worn. His eyes were as black as coal and shifted away
uncomfortably when I gave him a welcoming smile.
Hazel was a large woman, the perfect size for
birthing eight babies. She towered over her husband, her shoulders
were broad, and she was twice his weight. There were fine streaks
of gray running through her jet-black hair. The wrinkles covering
her forehead were deep creases, and no doubt caused by the stress
of raising so many children. She had with her a little girl, whom
she introduced as Mary, in tow. The two girls who headed up to the
house, Polly and Lizzy boldly announced that another mouth to feed
was on the way, “come spring.”
“You have any children?” she asked me in
front of Ayden and Heath. Her voice was brash, and seemed loud
enough to make out all the way to the harbor.
“No, no children,” I uncomfortably replied,
without looking at Ayden.
“Smart girl.”
“I’d best get started on supper,” I
announced. James, Jr. and Heath began to lug up one of the four
trunks, as Ayden assisted James with another.