Box Set: The ArringtonTrilogy (103 page)

I had no right, yet I still couldn’t manage
to find the means to give it to Heath. What he didn’t know wouldn’t
hurt him, I told myself. I was going to put it away in my room, in
my drawer, until I decided what to do.

* * *

By the time Ayden’s birthday arrived, I
managed to complete the shirt, and baked a beautiful chocolate
cake, which I served after his favorite meal of fried chicken and
dumplings.

At supper, Heath kindly offered to mind the
light, and give Ayden the night off. I was surprised at the
suggestion. I thought it was too difficult for Heath to exert
himself in such physical labor, for his hand was still tightly
wrapped and unusable.

“Why, brother, I appreciate the offer, but no
thank you,” Ayden said.

I was disappointed, and a fleeting glance
from Heath made it clear he had noticed.

“Now, Ayden, think for a moment. When have
you had a night off? How many years has it been?” Heath asked,
sitting back and wiping his mouth clean. He was beginning to grow a
moustache, which I thought made him appear years older.

Ayden didn’t have to think. He had never
taken a night off.

“Don’t be a stubborn fool; don’t look a gift
horse in the mouth. Take the night; spend time with your wife. That
is my birthday gift to you.”

Heath knew how to shock me, whether by
antagonism or thoughtfulness. I hadn’t expected Heath would do
anything kind that would benefit me. I had no doubt in my mind he
hated me - hated me being married to Ayden. Yet he
uncharacteristically suggested we be together and properly
celebrate Ayden’s birthday.

Ayden reluctantly agreed, barely able to
relinquish his position for just one evening, even if it was to be
with me.

“Thank you,” I said after the cake was
polished off and Ayden had gone to sit in the parlor, where he
patiently waited for me to give him his present.

“I didn’t do it for
you
. Ayden needs a
break; he is fanatical about that lighthouse. I figured if you were
dangled in front of him like bait, he’d be stupid enough to fall
for it.” Fury instantly filled me, and I glared at him, sending the
message that I loathed him more than he did me. And without
responding, without being drawn into another argument, I strode
past him, pushing him aside.

Ayden loved the shirt and praised my effort.
He hurried to his room to put it on while Heath stood nearby, close
enough that his presence made me quiver. Usually he went back to
his quarters, disappearing until the next meal. On this late
afternoon, however, he lingered about, waiting for me to crack,
taunting me with his scornful stare, challenging me to a fight.

I nervously ignored him as he followed me
back into the kitchen. I pretended to be happy. While doing the
dishes, I sang and laughed to myself, trying to make Heath believe
he was no bother to me. My strategy worked, and Heath left in a
huff just as Ayden came back down.

“How do I look?” he asked, spinning around so
I could view him at every angle.

“I must say I did a pretty good job.”

“You’re a good seamstress, as well as an
amazing cook. You deserve the night off.

“So, what shall we do with our free
time?”

“Well, let me think here . . .” he said,
tapping his fingers against his chin. He had a twinkle in his eye,
a hint of mischief I recognized from when he was a boy. But that
dazzling twinkle quickly turned into a fiery blaze as he came to me
and began to fondle the buttons on my dress. “I know what I want to
do. And after all, it is my birthday, so I should get what I want,”
he whispered with his hot breath on my neck, between heated
kisses.

I giggled nervously like a schoolgirl,
pressured into accepting his advances. His hands were too fast to
keep up with, and I tried to fight him off. “Ayden, darling, can’t
we go for a walk on the island, or . . .” He stopped me by putting
his finger over my lips, hushing me quiet. Then he continued with
the buttons until corset was open and his hand was about to slide
in over my breasts, when Heath suddenly bolted into the
kitchen.

Ayden instantly snatched his hand away and
spun around as I hurried to close up my dress. “A sailor has gone
overboard!”

Ayden and Heath rushed out with the rope
Heath carried and over the bluff. Night was creeping in, and Heath
hadn’t lit the wick yet.

“Lillian, take care of the light,” Ayden
ordered. “Heath and I will save him. Now hurry!”

In the distance, I expected to hear screams
of terror, the horrifying cries for help, the splashing of panic,
but I heard none of that as I ran back to the lighthouse. As fast
as I could, I sped up the endless winding stairs until I reached
the top, nearly out of breath, and finally got the light
working.

The lens rotated and the light beamed out to
the water, but I couldn’t spot a vessel anywhere or see the
remnants of one. I hurried out to the deck and could barely see
Ayden and Heath. What I could see through the now darkness was that
they were just standing there.

“What’s happening?”

“He’s gone!” he shouted back. “Gone before we
had a chance!”

I continued to stare out into the darkness,
hoping to find any sign of a man still clinging to life, perhaps on
the floating remains of the ship. The water was calm, the air still
- an unlikely backdrop for a ship to sink without warning.

Ayden joined me with a despondent frown on
his usually happy face. He was quiet and tended to his duties
without realizing I was there. I allowed him to reflect and mourn
the incident, but after a few hours of sitting silently watching
out into the night, I went to my husband and tried to comfort him.
“Sometimes there is little chance, Ayden. There was no warning, no
storm, no rough sea to make you aware that a ship might go down.”
He was so withdrawn that he didn’t flinch as I stroked his cheek.
“It’s not your fault.”

“It is!” he flared and nudged me away. “ I
should have never let Heath talk me into taking the night off. He
didn’t have the light working!”

“It is all odd and unfortunate, but still not
your fault!” I cried.

“She’s right,” Heath said as he stepped into
the room. “It’s my fault. I take full blame for the tragedy.”

“Please, just leave me be, both of you,”
Ayden said bleakly and proceeded to trim the wicks.

“Darling, can’t you just . . .”

“GO!” he screamed.

I pushed my way past Heath, and flew down the
stairs and straight into the house. There was nothing I could say
or do to make Ayden feel better. He took full blame and was going
to obsess over the tragedy, lose sleep, fail to eat, and push both
Heath and me away so he could bury himself in his all-consuming
guilt.

Just as I expected, Ayden stayed withdrawn
for the next several weeks. He was obsessed with cleaning the
lighthouse during the day and tending the light every night. I
tried to reason with Ayden, poured on some sweet affection just to
pull him out of his despair, but to no avail.

While Ayden stayed far from me, Heath,
strangely, came around more often. No longer did he hide away in
his little cottage or avoid me when he and I found ourselves in the
same place on the island. During our meals alone, he tried to make
light talk with me. However, I ignored him. I pretended he wasn’t
there. Everything he said I tuned out; every nice gesture went
disregarded. His emotional erratic behavior drove me crazy, yet I
didn’t let him for one minute see it. When I was certain he wasn’t
looking at me, I discreetly glanced his way. His appearance was
softer, his eyes less weary and more focused, just the way they
used to be.

At meals, I refused to acknowledge his
compliments on my cooking, wouldn’t allow him to wash or dry the
dishes, even after he offered repeatedly. Finally, after weeks of
this, lonely for Ayden and frustrated with Heath always being
nearby, exasperated, I lost my temper. It was exactly what he
wanted. I watched the smile grow on his face as I raised my voice
at him.

“So you can speak,” he said, as I grabbed his
empty plate off the table.

“You know perfectly well I can speak! Why is
it that you are constantly around? Don’t you have anything better
to do then be under my feet?”

His broadening smirk caused me to reach out
and instinctively slap him. Without flinching, he sat there, not
stunned or angered.

“And why is it that you are determined to
torture me? Just go away, Heath.” I choked back my angry tears.

“All right, I’ll go,” he said with just a
hint of apology for eliciting such hostility.

As always, when Heath walked away, I felt a
heavy burden leave my shoulders, and most of all, I wanted to run
to Ayden.

Predictably, he was exhausted, trying to keep
his eyes open, almost falling asleep standing watch.

“Ayden?” I said softly. He was startled
awake.

“Lillian.”

“You need rest. What good are you to the
ships if you’re too tired for a rescue, if it were necessary? Can’t
you for once listen to me, your wife? Don’t you think I know how
you feel?”

“How can you possibly?”

“My daddy was just as devastated when he lost
a man to the sea. And it was his love for Momma that pulled him
from the darkest, most hollow place in his mind. She was his light
during his darkest hours. Why can’t I be that for you?”

He didn’t say anything, only stared off with
bleak eyes into the empty space in his mind until his usually
sturdy legs began first to shake, then wobble, and before I had a
chance to react, Ayden collapsed down to the floor.

I found Heath walking the shore. “Heath . . .
Ayden collapsed!” I said frantically.

I stayed on Heath’s trail as he fetched his
doctor’s bag and got to Ayden in record speed. He was still out
cold when we got there, his head bleeding from the hard hit to the
floor.

Heath carefully but awkwardly tried to lift
his head to place a cloth around the wound. I knelt down and lifted
Ayden’s head. Heath checked his pupils, then his pulse. “He’s all
right. We need to get him to bed. Ayden has passed out from pure
exhaustion.”

With Heath’s one good arm and my two, we
slowly carried Ayden down from the tower. We were both out of
breath when we laid Ayden in bed.

“I will tend to him now,” I said as I brushed
Ayden’s hair aside. He slept, peacefully, unaware of the knot on
the back of his head.

“I am the doctor,” Heath stated firmly. We
were competing to take care of Ayden.

“I am his wife. This is my house. If his
condition changes or worsens, I will come for you.” I was adamant,
unwavering, and Heath knew it. He objected no more.

I held Ayden’s limp hand in mine and
protectively stood over him until my feet ached badly. I took a
chair, placed it beside the bed, and continued to care for him all
night. Heath was up in the tower minding the light for Ayden, and
as dawn approached, a heavy fog rolled in. There were only the two
of us, Heath and me. Someone needed to mind the light, the fog
signal, and Ayden.

Uncertain if I should leave Ayden, I gazed
down at him resting and realized he would want me to give the
signal and ring the bell for the out-yonder vessels to hear. “I
love you darling. I will be back,” I said. I placed a cold cloth on
his head.

For the remainder of the day I stayed in the
fog signal house, never taking a break. Heath stayed true to the
light. Finally, at nightfall, Ayden woke from his injury, just as
the north winds blew in to chase the dense fog away.

He found me half-awake, making my way back to
check on him. He was in the doorway, in full uniform, ready to take
over his position.

“You need to rest,” I insisted, blocking his
exit.

“You and Heath have been up too long. I am
better rested. But the lump on the back of my head throbs like mad.
I’m sorry. I just can’t seem to do anything right. My overwork has
caused you to nearly collapse yourself.” Ayden hugged me tight, and
again said he was sorry. Then in a blink of an eye, he was rushing
back up to the lighthouse.

Heath came down, exasperated. “What does he
think he’s doing?”

“I tried to talk him into resting. He just
won’t listen,” I sighed.

“We can’t go on like this, just the three of
us.”

“The second keeper is arriving next
week.”

“That will certainly change everything,” he
replied optimistically.

As if the stars were put in the sky with a
secret life message, I attempted to study them that evening and
decipher the code. While Ayden obsessed with the lighthouse, as
Heath scrutinized everything about me, alone I gazed up at the
brilliant, star-filled night and was left overwhelmed with a
feeling of infinite wonder.

As the time grew nearer for the arrival of
the second keeper and his family, Ayden focused on bringing enough
supplies to the island.

“I have been told they are coming with eight
children,” Ayden exclaimed, as he untied the rowboat from the slip.
“I have to make sure the second cow has been paid for. And I don’t
plan to row it out here the way our fathers did.”

Eight children! It was difficult to imagine.
I was frightened at the thought of birthing one baby, let alone
eight.

“Will you return for supper?” I asked while
he slowly rowed away.

“Long before supper.”

I had loads of chores to do; I had fallen
behind in the clothes washing. Heath apparently had the same
problem and had my washboard, just when I planned to use it. He
briefly glanced at my basket, then continued scrubbing his shirt
without comment.

“I have a pile of clothes to wash,” I
proclaimed. He maintained a smug grin and continued with what he
was doing. “Did you hear me?” I snapped placing my hands on my hips
the way Momma used to when she was, on a rare occasion, annoyed
with Daddy.