Box Set: The ArringtonTrilogy (100 page)

“You must be honest with Ayden. He should be
made aware Heath knew where you were and that he kept it a secret.
Even if it was to protect Ayden. I suspect that was Heath’s
reasoning,” Opal assured me. “I don’t believe Heath would look down
on you. You are like a sister to him. He mourned your departure, so
much so we never thought he would recover.”

I studied Opals expression. She was solemn,
yet insistent I understand the reasoning and the purpose for
Heath’s vow of silence. I wasn’t sure. Was Heath only protecting
Ayden, or everything he valued - his aspirations, his
self-inflicted burden of perfection? What would he have risked by
telling Ayden? I asked myself. When I looked into Opal’s eyes, I
was certain she knew the answer.

Quickly she batted her eyes, blinking away
the blatant thoughts in her mind, then she smiled, gave me a quick
peck on the cheek, and said, “Let’s just enjoy our time together
and not worry about the past, or Heath. I suppose he’ll come around
eventually and when he does, will bring a suitable apology. That I
am sure as the sun will rise the next day.”

* * *

Before we all sat down for dinner, I set out
to fetch Elizabeth. Ayden and Edward returned from town with boxes
of fireworks for our special July Fourth event and quickly washed
up for supper before night fell. Edward was planning to keep watch
with Ayden for the next several nights. As well as giving me some
time to catch up on much needed sleep, I enjoyed watching Ayden
light up every time his father paid him a compliment. Receiving his
father’s praise made Ayden’s chest stick out just a little more and
possess an air of subtle confidence he clearly wore on his
sleeve.

Elizabeth was quietly sitting in a corner
when I walked into Ayden’s room. She couldn’t hear me climb the
stairs, didn’t notice the door crack open. She was studying a
magazine, and before I stepped in and made her aware, my breath
sucked in as my eyes fell onto the front cover of the magazine. It
was me! I was on the cover of the ladies magazine. Ayden knew. He
knew all along and lied about it. Ayden pretended not to know, made
me believe he was unaware. I began to tremble, and eased myself out
of the room before Elizabeth noticed me. Already things were going
bad - questions, lies, and doubt creeping into my harmonious
marriage.

I didn’t waste a moment. I had to find Ayden.
I hurried to the stairs when unexpectedly he appeared before me,
from the top of the last step.

“Lillian,” he said as I stepped back from
him, startled and distressed. “I didn’t see you there!”

When I didn’t respond he peered at me and
noticed my daze. He then frowned, and stepped closer. He easily
sensed my dismay, and when he looked to his room where Elizabeth
strode the hall with the magazine in hand, gulped hard. I flew from
him and to my room, where I slammed the door shut. Ayden came after
me. “Let me explain!” he begged through the door.

“Go away!” I moaned, then threw myself onto
the bed.

He refused my command and entered my room.
“Please, just listen to me,” he said softly and sat on the bed next
to me, stroking my hair as I sobbed into my pillow. “Yes, I knew
you were famous, but I didn’t know the details of your life until
you yourself told me. I saw this magazine in the store; I gasped
when I saw it. I bought it and looked at your image every day,
hoping you would come to life for me. It was all I had…beside my
dreams. I should have told you, I should never have pretended as if
I didn’t know anything about where you were or what you were doing.
For that, I am sorry. I wanted you to tell me on your own accord,
and you did. I needed to believe you were sincere,” he choked, and
buried his face into my hair. I turned over, sat up, and cradled
him as he knelt over me. “Heath, was it Heath who told you?” I
asked between sobs.

Ayden lifted his head. “Heath? What does
Heath have to do with it?”

“Heath and I had an encounter. An unexpected,
unpleasant reunion at his engagement party, then later when I was
ill, he tended to me. Heath was aware of everything, Ayden…my
affair, my addiction. He turned his back on me, rejected me.”

“He knew all this time?” Ayden gasped.

“Only since I was in New York. Heath knew
nothing of my time in Savannah living against my will. The only
ones who know of my terrible ordeal there is Richard and now,
you.”

“That brother of mine! He is a disgrace.
Heath thinks he is better than I, better than all of us. He went
off to Massachusetts, became a doctor, and ever since has turned
his back on his own family. We weren’t even invited to his
engagement party. I bet he thinks we are not good enough for the
likes of his fiancé and her family. And…” he reached for my hands
and kissed each one, then added, “He hurt you. If Heath had told me
where you were, I would have come and rescued you from that hell. I
swear I would have!”

Ayden was angry, mad as ever at his brother.
Now it was definitely best Heath stay away from our island and us.
Good riddance, Heath, I said to myself. Then I embraced Ayden and
thanked him for owning up and revealing his secret. Now we could
move ahead, with no skeletons in the closet to damage our blessed
union. Our relationship was based on truth; we were to build a
strong foundation, one that would stand strong against the worst
storms, devastating catastrophes, and hold up to anyone who would
seek to destroy what Ayden and I were most entitled to.

I allowed Elizabeth to keep the magazine
after Opal helped with an explanation as to why it was me who
graced the cover. Elizabeth was even more enamored with me, my
constant companion and my shadow for the next few days. I didn’t
mind, in fact, I was elated. Elizabeth was habitually curious,
looking for an explanation about everything on the island. I taught
her everything all over again, from when she was a baby. I easily
recalled how to sign simple things like whale and bird. I showed
her fossils the same way Heath had done for me, and when night
fell, she and I lay side by side on a quilt outside near to the
bluff and studied the stars. I spelt out the names of the
constellations that were visible in the month of July; the same
ones Heath taught me about long ago. And though we didn’t have his
telescope to gaze through, she easily spotted them by eye; excited
when the constellations appeared evident to her. Her eyes became
wide and bright while pointing them out. I revealed it was Heath
who took me out as a little girl almost her age and taught me about
the stars.

Elizabeth didn’t respond with a sign or
gesture that was apparent, though I sensed she was just as
disappointed in her older brother as everyone else. I hated Heath
for making everyone feel bad, put down, and neglected. While we lay
under the blanket of stars side by side, I made a wish for myself
and for Elizabeth. I wished no man would ever take advantage of
her, that she remained as innocent as that very night, and for me -
my wish was to reclaim all I had lost, recapture the life I had
longed for, and always surround myself with good, kindhearted
people such as the Daltons.

I suspected the new family due to arrive on
Jasper Island would be just as upstanding and was growing anxious
for them to arrive. I would have loved for Opal and Edward to stay
on with us, but understood Elizabeth’s education was the priority.
I believed she would be successful at anything she decided to do in
life. She was that fortunate, and I was even a bit jealous as I
gazed over at her staring up into the night. She may have had a
hearing impairment, but for me, I would have taken that loss any
day over all my scores of imperfections.

July Fourth, our nation’s day of
independence, was hot and muggy. The breeze was unusually tranquil,
the sea calm. Vessels of all kinds sailed by with happy vacationers
on board. Many even waved over to us.

The men slept for only an hour, then after a
hearty breakfast, went straight back up to the gallery of the
lighthouse to clean the all windows. Elizabeth kept busy on the
shore seeking out more fossils as Opal and I cooked for the
remainder of the day. I wanted the day to go by painstakingly slow,
for tomorrow, the Daltons were leaving for Connecticut and I knew I
wouldn’t see them again for a long time. Opal saw my sadness,
consoled me with a warm embrace, and promised they would return as
soon as next summer. “Time will pass by and before you know it,
we’ll be right back here in the kitchen cooking side by side again.
Maybe you and Ayden will be expecting a baby by then,” she said
with a glimmer of hope in her eyes. I didn’t respond, I couldn’t
even find the words to reveal I didn’t want to have children. What
kind of woman would she think I was if she knew I hated the thought
of a baby growing inside me, or even the fact that I was repulsed
to be with men after all I had been through? Opal was never abused,
taken advantage of, and treated like a worthless human being. Her
husband had only loved her tenderly. She didn’t know the kind of
anguish men had put me through.

I excused myself from the kitchen,
complaining I needed some air before I passed out from the
heat.

“Of course. Take your time. We’re just about
finished. If you fetch Elizabeth, she can set the table.”

Ayden was striding toward me when I stepped
outside. His face lit up and he hurried over, then swept me up, and
planted a long kiss on my lips.

“What was that for?” I asked when he placed
me down.

“For being you, my beautiful wife, the girl
of my dreams. I have been lonely without you.”

“Oh stop. You have been busy with your
father, not given me a second thought,” I teased.

Ayden’s face grew serious and his lips turned
into a boyish pout. “You don’t really believe that, do you? I think
about you every minute I’m awake and dream of you while I sleep.
You invade every part of me. I can’t exist without you.”

His solemnity jolted me as his feelings for
me began to seem alarmingly familiar. Initially his habitual
longing for me was flattering, comforting. However, when he held
me, pressed me against him, my nerves began to unravel, as his
intimate need for me was evident. Why was it that all men
gravitated toward me and wanted more than I could give? The
question pained me, although I chose to hide it from Ayden.

I smiled, masking my concerns. “I can’t exist
without you either.”

Ayden beamed, his heart soared higher than
the seagulls in flight. How I didn’t ever want to fail him and oh
how consumed I felt with the expectations he unknowingly bestowed
onto me.

“Where are you off to? Supper is almost
ready. Father and I want to get the fireworks set to light soon.
There appears to be a summer storm brewing. I hope it will hold out
until we’ve had our fun.”

I peered up at the overcast sky and the dark,
threatening clouds that slowly began to creep in, casting cool
shadows all around. The wind that had been nonexistent kicked up,
and the sea began to churn furiously. Vessels nearby took heed of
the approaching storm and headed into the harbor.

“It doesn’t appear that way. I think it’s
coming in faster than expected,” I shouted over the sudden gale
force winds.

Ayden grabbed onto his hat before the wind
blew it off and hurried back to the lighthouse to prepare for the
blinding rain. I ran off to find Elizabeth struggling to climb the
embankment.

“Come, Elizabeth,” I instinctively shouted
and reached for her small hand, then pulled her up. It was then, as
I lugged her forward, that I noticed a ship anchored only a quarter
mile out, and a tiny row boat with two men struggling to row ashore
to our lighthouse station. Ayden and Edward had the lens
illuminated - the beacon rotating. He must have seen the rowboat
and the two men risking their lives, braving the giant sea swells
to come ashore.

I motioned for Elizabeth to get to the house,
and then made my way through the pouring rain back down the
embankment to the beach. The visibility was minimal, and I had to
strain my eyes to keep sight of them. Up and down, the boat rode
the giant waves, and I was certain it would capsize at any moment.
I yelled over the howling wind at the top of my lungs for Ayden,
and finally he appeared from the observation deck. He nodded and
pointed to the boat, and I waited for him to hurry down to the
beach. I ran to the boathouse and prepared the rope for a rescue,
then waited only a minute in the battering rain before Ayden
appeared by my side.

“Are you going out there?” I shouted
frantically. I had always been afraid when Daddy would have to do
rescue, but looking up at Ayden, I wasn’t anxious. Ayden stood
resolute, quickly deciding whether to use to rope or take a boat
out, ready to challenge the dangerous, pounding surf to save the
sailors. However, it was the men on the boat who called off the
mission by making it close enough to the shore for Ayden to wade
into the breakers and pull the boat onto Jasper Island.

The men climbed out and stumbled onto the
beach. I rushed over to guide them to the house while Ayden secured
the rowboat.

“This way,” I yelled, drenched, soaked to the
bone, and hoped they would hurry and follow me. I couldn’t make out
their faces, though it really didn’t matter. No seaman was a
stranger to us. All were welcome to a warm blanket and good home
cooking until the storm passed and they could make it safely back
to the harbor.

As soon as they were inside and stripped of
their hats, my eyes flew open, my mouth agape. Elizabeth and Opal
came to greet the lucky seamen who had braved and won against
Mother Nature, only to stop in their tracks.

“Heath, is that you, as saturated as an old
mop?” Opal gasped. Ayden came in, scanned his brother with a
scornful glare, then left to go back up to the lighthouse, but not
before he placed a quick kiss on my cold cheek and said, “Thank you
for all your help, Lillian.”