Before You Leave: A Romance Novel (7 page)

Pushing my chair back, the silence that had comfortably fallen between us is broken. Leaving Kieran looking bewildered, I rush into the bar and up to the counter.

“Excuse me, excuse me.” I call in hope my English is understood.

“Yes, Senora.” The young girl that helped Kieran bring out the dish earlier answers.

“I would like to pay for the meal please.”

“No. no pay.”

“But I must. It was delicious.”

“No my Kieran paid. He got the food.”

“Oh, ok thank you.” I walk back out with my head down feeling embarrassed he paid for me. Kieran stands at the door and stops me in my tracks.

“You alright? You didn’t have to rush to the bathroom because of the fish, did you?”

“No I would’ve liked to pay my way though. Look I’d better get back now, the girls will be worried.”

“I’ll walk with you. You’ve gone really pale. Are you sure you’re not allergic to fish?” Kieran tries to take my arm to guide me, but all that is going around my head is the way the young girl said
my Kieran
. Who is this man that has a young girl falling at his feet calling him that? The unsettled feeling in my stomach increases at the thought of me having food with this guy and the guilt that he isn’t Ryan is over powering. I can’t believe I let myself to be taken along with probably the islands stud. Sarah will kill me if she finds out.

Pushing past his outstretched hand, I start running. My sandals hit off the ground and slide off my feet. I stop for a mere second to remove them and look back. Thank god he isn’t following. I bet he has gone back inside laughing at his failed quest. The tears start streaming down my face. Why did I even agree to eat fish? Shit I haven’t eaten that since my first kiss with Ryan. It now feels so wrong. Taking the steep steps leading to the apartment in great speed takes my breath away. Bending over I hold onto the low granite wall and pant, wishing I had a bottle of water with me after all. The retch comes from my toes all the way up through my stomach and onto the floor.

And then another.

And another.

By the time Sarah finds me in the dark, I am still retching and in a mess. Sweat pours down my brow and my hair is stuck to the sides of my face. All I can hear, above the ringing in my ears, is Sarah’s frantic voice. Demanding to know what is wrong with me and who left me in such a state, but I’m unable to talk. My head is bursting with so much pain that it is impossible for me to speak.

Leading with her arm around me for support, back to the apartment, she directs me straight into the shower. Turning the dial she undresses me and drops my clothes onto the floor. Guiding me under the water she quickly washes my exhausted body while I stand shivering as she does so. Wrapping me in a coarse towel from the rack, Sarah then takes me into her bedroom, dries me off before dressing me in Ryan’s t-shirt she must have retrieved at some point while I stood in the room. Tucking me up in her bed Sarah wraps herself in a sheet on a chair and curls up. I don’t remember falling asleep but when I wake during the night feeling nauseous, I notice Sarah’s still here. For the rest of the night I twist and turn unable to settle in the heat. Sarah doesn’t move from her chair while I try and close my eyes to steer the hurt away.

Sometime in the early morning I must have gone into a dreamless sleep. Waking up to the smell of coffee and toast. The pain in my head and the sick feeling in my stomach, seem to have eased enough that I am able to sit up in the bed, noticing the chair Sarah slept on during the night is empty. Left on the side table is my breakfast.

Even though my stomach is churning a little, I know I must try and eat something to settle it after last night.

Oh god last night. Only now it’s coming back much clearer. What an idiot I am to be somewhere on my own with Kieran, who I know nothing about. What the hell was I thinking? Of course, I wasn’t thinking, I got carried away by his generosity, the kindness he showed and yet he probably thought of me as a lonely, sad woman that would be a good candidate for a summer fling, a notch on his bedpost.

And the fish.

The taste just melted in my mouth, until I left it on the floor on the steps that is. The thought of him having some kind of thing with the young dark haired girl in the bar didn’t help either. Thank god he didn’t follow me. There is no way I can tell Sarah where I was, she didn’t ask me any more questions last night but the disappointment was written all over her face.

I nibble on the edge of the toast and sink back down into the bed, wanting to hide under the cover for the day.

I shouldn’t be here.

The voices coming from beyond the door grow louder. Sarah and Abigail must be having a conversation with somebody else, as it isn’t like them to shout at each other. Sliding out of the bed, I stand by the door and open it a little bit. Peeking out I can just see the figures of the both of them. Abigail’s arms are flying around as her voice grows volume.

“I told you it was a bad idea bringing her along. She’s a mess.”

“Shush keep your voice down.”

“Why? So Ms up-her-own-arse can sleep in?”

“No you know why.”
“How much longer is she going to use Ryan as an excuse for not living? She isn’t the only one suffering.”

“Will you shut up? She will hear you.”

“Fuck sake, I really don’t give a flying fuck right now. Does she not know how upset you were looking for her? Not even a note to say where she had gone when we woke up. Just up and left. Once again thinking of herself. Well I’m sick of it. This is my break too. I need this as much as she does.”

“I know, I know but she is hurting.”

“So am I.”

Walking away from the door, I crawl back into bed pull the sheet over my head and let the tears stream down my cheeks.

I only leave the room to use the bathroom and get a drink of water, avoiding any conversation with either of them. Sarah pops in and out to leave food next to me but I eat nothing after the toast this morning and stay under the sheets. My head is full of what’s, whys and anger. Angry at the world and how it has left me being a horrible, miserable person that even my friends no longer can put up with me. Poor Abigail, how could I not take her feelings in all of this? She was Ryan’s partner in the business; she did have to practically start all over again when he died. His half of the business was left to his mother who wanted to be active in her role, but in the end Abigail bought her out. I remember hearing that Abigail couldn’t cope with anything to do with Ryan around her at that time. Yet she still kept the business going, she still had to get up each morning and work, smile at the customers and take on new staff. What was I doing?

Moping, crying and being the dead one around the place.

Before the sun rose the next day, I get out of Sarah’s bed and sneak into the bathroom. The shower’s welcoming and the water feels like it’s waking me up at last. Dressing in my bikini I grab a clean towel, leaving a quick note by the kettle and slide out the door. Passing Sarah sleeping on my pull out bed in dreamland.

The water looks so still with the sun only just starting to reflect off the surface of the swimming pool. Sitting on the edge, I leave the towel on the tiles and slide in.

The cold hits me with a force but I ignore it and swim under to acclimatise my body. With each stroke I stretch my limbs, wakening them up from their slumber. After my eighth lap, I stop to take a breather. I’m not alone and start to make my way out of the pool wanting to avoid Kieran sitting there with his legs hanging over the side gently making a ripple in the water.

“You’re alive then?” He asks as I wrap the towel around myself to leave.

“Excuse me?”

“I called round yesterday but your friends said you were sick. I hope it wasn’t the fish you ate?”

“No it probably was the company. Please excuse me but I need to get my breakfast.” I snap at him while storming pass him, trying to be careful not to slip on the wet tiles.

“Ok, as you wish.” Kieran answers as he slips his bare feet out of the pool, “Look, I came round yesterday because I was concerned. You just left without any explanation.” He continues loud enough for me to hear him, stopping me in my tracks to face him.

“I didn’t think I needed one.” I tell him annoyed with the games he seems to enjoy playing.

“What are you talking about? Is this because I paid for the food?”

I hold the towel tighter with my hand. Taking a breath in before I force myself to start taking control of my life again. Starting with Kieran.

“I am not, nor will I ever be, a holiday romance or someone to add to your collection.” I spit back at him while I dap my finger in his direction.

“Whoa.” Kieran holds his hand up in front of him. “What gave you that idea?”

“Your friend inside the bar.”

“My friend. You mean Izzie?”

“If that is her name, yes.”

“Izzie is my cousin. What did she say to you?” He asks, looking a little more relaxed.

“Your cousin?” I shake my head trying to take in what he said.

“Yes. I know we don’t look alike but she was born here. Our fathers are brothers.”

“Oh. My mistake, I’m sorry.” Feeling foolish for jumping to conclusions, I fold my arms across my chest, securing the towel.

“No I’m sorry. I should have introduced you to her when I ordered our drinks. Look, how about I make it up to you and take you to a part of the island that isn’t known to tourists.”

“All of us?”

“No just you.”

“And what am I going to say to Sarah and Abigail. I can’t just go off with you on my own.”

“Let me talk to them. I’ll come back at lunch time today and pick you up.”

“But...”

“No buts, and I promise I only want to make you smile. Nothing else.”

I have no idea why but I agree. The thought of being in his company without any pressure or any reminder of Ryan is what I think I need today.

This is meant to be the start of my new life.

Even if I don’t really believe it.

Sarah was already in the kitchen making her coffee when I arrive back in. As I walk through the sliding door, she comes out of the kitchen area and wraps her arms around pulling me close for a hug.

“Thank you for the note.”

“Sarah, I’m wet.”

“I don’t care. How are you feeling? Would you like one of your teas?”

“I would love one. Do we have any fruit? I am feeling a bit peckish.”

“Sit I’ll bring you something.”

“No Sarah, you’ve done more than enough. You sit outside on the patio and I’ll bring you breakfast. Just give me a minute to put on some clothes.”

“Ok I’ll take my coffee outside. The bread is in the toaster ready to push down.” Sarah explains and takes her mug outside, leaving me to dress and prepare breakfast.

It only takes me five minutes to join her with a dish of chopped fruit and a plate with Sarah’s toast on, balancing on my cup of herbal tea. Taking a seat after Sarah carefully removes the plate, I pop on the borrowed sunglasses.

“Did you enjoy your swim this morning?” Sarah asks as soon as I take my first sip.

“I did. It was beautiful before the sun came out.” Resting the fork on the side of the white dish, I swallow the piece of melon before continuing, “Look Sarah, I’m truly grateful for everything you have done for me, including bringing me here.”

“I know sweetie, it hasn’t been easy on you.” Sarah pats my knee as she speaks. “I need to ask you something though?”

“Go on, I’m do my best to answer.” I say, intrigued and trying to be as light hearted as I can.

“You remember when we landed on Thursday?”

“Yes, well briefly. I don’t actually remember much that day.”

“Well you collapsed at the door just as we were leaving the plane. A gentleman caught you just in time.”

“Oh, that was embarrassing. I couldn’t even look at him after that.”

“He annoyed me, took over the whole situation like some kind of hero.”

“Oh is that what you thought? I just thought he was being helpful.”

“Not from where I was standing. Well he came here yesterday looking for you.”

“Really. How did he know I was here? I know the island is small but here?”

“I was thinking he was some kind of stalker but he said he was with you the evening you were missing.”

“He what! I hope you told him where to go.”

“Oh I told him more than that. Told him I would call the guards on him or whatever they are called here. He was very persistent. Were you with him Jules? It’s ok if you were, I won’t get all protective or anything. You’re beautiful, it’s going to happen.”

“I don’t know Sarah, I mean I went out walking and found a serene spot on some rocks. The ocean was so clear. Next thing Kieran turned up and we went for a quick drink by the marina before the evening closed in.”

“Hold up there, back track. Who the feck is Kieran?”

“I met him on the first day you went shopping in the cafe I stayed in. He has been very chatty.”

“Good god woman. Can we not leave you anywhere on your own?”

“It wasn’t as if I wanted the company. One minute he was there then he was gone. I think he spends a lot of time here. Family or something like that.” I didn’t mean for my voice to go an octave higher and gulp my cooled tea down, not savouring the taste.

“And why then on Friday did I find you in such a state.” I can hear Sarah’s annoyance reflective in her speech. As I am saying it I don’t like it either. Replacing my cup on the table I answer Sarah timidly. “It doesn’t sound good does it? I never wanted anyone to bump into me at these places. You know how much I love my own company at times. He just popped up.” Shrugging my shoulders I wait for her reaction.

I didn’t want to tell Sarah about him being here before on our first night when I needed air away from the apartment. I am sure she would really freak out then.

“What does this Kieran look like anyway? Maybe we could set Abigail up with him. Give that stick that’s up her arse most days’, time off. She is in desperate need of a lay, she’s so uptight lately.” Sarah chuckles quietly, I presume so Abigail is unable to hear her.

I smile a little at the thought glad that we are back on track again. I don’t think I have ever known Abigail to have a man in her life and didn’t want to mention to Sarah about the way she was discreetly looking at her phone. Maybe that’s why she is so tense these days. The thought of introducing her to Kieran doesn’t sit well with me though. It’s not like I want him for myself. I wouldn’t even be ready for anything like that. Ryan will be the only man in my life for a long time yet, but there is no way I would tell Sarah that. Especially when I only told myself this morning to start living again.

“Well to start with he is taller than me,” I explain, trying not to be too informative of someone who means nothing to me, “I’d guess about six foot. Dark hair but not black and he is blessed with the colour of the sun. Oh and he has a hint of the city accent.”

“Go on.” Sarah encourages me.

“Any time I’ve seen him he’s wearing shorts, you know the kind that you see yacht people wear? And he has these amazing dark brown eyes. Deep like the middle of a cave.” I pause and look at Sarah. She is staring at me with an open mouth.

“What is wrong with you?”

“You have just described hero man.”

“I have? Shit. That’s not good is it?” I say, biting my bottom lip at the thought.

“I think he’s been stalking you. That’s the only explanation I can give on why he keeps appearing wherever you are.”

“He was here again this morning.” I confess across the table.

“Fuck no.”

“When I finished swimming he was at the pool.”

“I don’t like the sound of this. What did he say?”

“He asked if he could show me another part of the Island.”

“I hope you told him to shove it.”

“I told him you wouldn’t like me going off.”

“And then what?”

“He said he would talk to you.”

“Fuck no. He isn’t going anywhere with you. Stay away. There is something I don’t like about him, like the way he has been hanging around you away from me. So what happened Friday before I found you?”

“Oh, Kieran suggested that I had something to eat and we shared a fish paella. It tasted so good I cleared my plate, but I guess it was too much too soon. It didn’t taste good on the way back up though.”

“Oh Julia you of all people should know you can’t eat that much fish after being away from it for so long.”

“Sarah, I felt so guilty eating it.”

“Hey don’t. That is in the past. Ryan was severely allergic but you’re not. Let’s concentrate on the rest of our holiday without thinking of any man. That Kieran can take a run and jump. Come on. Today we have plans, we are going to visit the volcanoes.”