Before You Leave: A Romance Novel (4 page)

“Excuse me Miss?” My thoughts are interrupted by a voice I recognise. I look up and see a shadow by the light. I try to get up but my legs are useless. They won’t respond to what I want them to do and no matter how I use my arms to pull me up to stand, my legs fail me.

“Here let me help.”

“Its fine, I’m fine. I can manage thank you. Please stay there I can get up.”

The man leans back against the wall. The light glows around his body and he becomes a silhouette. Folding his arms across his chest, he seems to be watching. I drag my legs out of the pool and rub them to cox them back to working. It is then I realise that the lights around the pool are glowing underneath where I sit. The cheeks of my buttocks fully exposed. I try and pull Ryan’s shirt down but there is only so much give in it from the lack of washing. Feeling hopeless, I just want to leave and disappear. This stupid stranger has ruined the calm that was starting to settle me, why does someone always have to come and spoil my moments of drifting away from reality.

I can see his shadow move a step closer.

I don’t care if he can see me now. He shouldn’t be here. Why isn’t he tucked up in bed somewhere? This is entirely his fault for interrupting me. I rub my legs faster and move my toes around to gain movement.

He steps closer still.

Come on legs, work for me please. Bending my knee I put my weight on my feet and attempt to stand. Although a little wobbly I manage it. I pull the shirt and hold it down. Just to cover the front part of me if not the back.

“Would you like some help back to your apartment?”

The stranger is now so close that his scent is near recognisable.

“I’m fine, thank you.”

“I’d hate you to fall in, especially if you are unsteady on your feet.”

“I haven’t been drinking, if that’s what you think.” I snap back. Why can’t he keep his nose out of it and just leave I think to myself.

“I’m sorry, I just didn’t want you to slip. I’ve been meaning to shield off the pool but haven’t got round to it.”

I do recognise that voice. It is the one that spoke earlier, reminding me something about the sun cream.

“Well you are very lucky I’m not a child then, isn’t it law to have the pool enclosed?”

“That’s debatable and up to the owner of the complex, now please give me your hand and let me help you up just in case you fall. The tiles can get slippery when the sun has gone in and unable to dry them fast.”

Reluctantly I reach out to his open hand and he pulls me up as I try to keep my dignity.

“Are you sure you don’t need any help getting back to your apartment?”

“I’m fine from here. I just need to take a few moments before heading back.”

“Did you catch too much sun? That can stop you sleeping well. I did say you put the sun cream on at the wrong time.” He tells me, confirming my thoughts from earlier.

“So it was you that was giving out unwelcome advice, do you do that to all the guests here?”

“No, only the ones that needs to take care of their skin. Most of the others live here and know the rule about sunning themselves.”

I take my hand out of his to be able to hold the t-shirt down with both hands. Feeling awkward that he is still standing in my space. Wishing he would just go back from wherever he has appeared from.

“Why are you out at this time of the night?” I ask him with the hope it will give him the hint to go away.

“What do you mean?”

“Well you are dressed like you have been out for the night,” noticing the black trousers and loose tucked in shirt.

“I was and now I am here.” He replies without any more insight.

“Look I don’t want to be rude, but I’m fine and wouldn’t mind being on my own.” I tell him, growing tired of the conversation between us.

“Oh yes, I am sorry. God this is rude of me. It’s your holiday time. Right I had better leave you to, well, to do what you need to do.”

Hesitant in his movements he sways slightly when he turns to head off towards the steps to leave the apartments. I watch until I can no longer see him and let out a long sigh relieved he has gone. Shivering I wrap my arms around myself to keep warm, not worrying about the t-shirt length now I am on my own. Turning, I start to head back to the apartment feeling able to face the imminent morning and move fast to get off the cold tiles under my feet.

I’m awake before I hear Abigail in the kitchen. The sun is already hitting me through the blinds on the patio doors and it’s making my head hurt. For a friend, Sarah isn’t very thoughtful knowing I have a problem with the sun and the way it takes me back to those last lost moments every time. Still, here I am in a hot country.

Turning over I cover my head with the sheet I draped over me last night when I came in. No matter how quiet Abigail is trying to be, running the tap and filling the kettle, I can hear every sound.

When the toaster button is slid down, I voice out to her.

“Can you put mine in after you please?”

“You awake Julia? I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“I’ve been a wake for a while. Nothing like being hit in the face by the morning sun.”  I answer a little more sarcastic then I mean. Sitting up I pull in my knees towards my chest, wrapping my arms around them in doing so.

“Do you want tea, there are a few herbals in the cupboard that I heard you like, probably left over from the last guests.”

“Is there any lemon and ginger? Wouldn’t mind a cup of that to start the day.”

From where I am I watch as Abigail looks through the cupboard pulling out a darkish yellow box.

“Well look here, a box just for you. I think they have a tea bag here for anyone. You’re not feeling sick are you?”

“What are you on about?”

“The ginger, isn’t that a relief for nausea?”

“It is I think, but I have been drinking for a while now. Apparently it also boosts the immune system. This past year has, well, it hasn’t been good.” I want to tell her that the tea had been the only thing I got out of bed for, but I didn’t think she would understand.

“In that case, one hot cup of lemon and ginger on its way. Do you want to sit outside to drink it? You can put on Sarah’s glasses.”

“That might me a good idea, it can get a little stuffy in here and the sea air is refreshing.”

Leaning over to my opened case while Abigail busies herself in the kitchen, I take out a pair of shorts to slip on under Ryan’s t-shirt. We are only friends by mutual agreement and I always have a feeling that if it weren’t for Abigail being Ryan’s business partner, we probably wouldn’t be friends at all. We only met a few times at Sarah’s parties before that but never really became anything other than acquaintances.

By the time I have folded up the sheets from the bed and stacked them with the pillows my toast has popped. I leave it until I finish folding the bed back into its base. It’s not like I haven’t eaten cold toast before. I stopped enjoying the taste of food, only eating when I had to line my stomach and keep me functioning. Even though I still don’t know why I need to function when I am not even living. Yesterday’s sandwich was a taste I surprisingly enjoyed; I can only blame the travelling and sea air that brought that on.

“So I wonder what plans Sarah has for us today.” Abigail’s last slice of toast is held just in front of her mouth as she wonders out aloud. How she can eat it with that much jam on I’ll never know. Way too sweet for me. Placing the plate that I am carrying onto the table, I pull out the chair opposite her and sit down outside our apartment.

“Well whatever plans she has, she had better think about getting out of bed soon. Don’t want to be walking around in the midday heat.”

“I guess she is in holiday mode.” Abigail takes another bite of her toast, leaving a red rim on the top of her lip, licking it clear with her tongue. Taking the string that’s hanging down the side of the small white cup, I dangle the tea bag in and out of the water. Changing the colour to a misty cloud. The aroma of the ginger comforts my rattling stomach as I start sipping the hot liquid.

“You need to eat your breakfast Julia. By the time the sun hits high in the sky it will be hot and you don’t want to get weak or faint because of the heat and spoil the day.”

“I know Abigail, give me a chance. I’ve only just sat down.”

The look she passes over to me is one of annoyance. I pick up my toast with a slithering of butter touching it and take a bite to please her. Turning away to watch the part of the pool I can see from this angle to avoid the silence now settled between us. It’s empty but the sun that is still rising shines off it in places giving it a shimmering surface, just like last night. Abigail pulls out her smartphone from her pocket taking her focus off me and onto whatever is keeping her company on her screen. I finish the two slices of toast and drink half my tea, feeling full from eating it.

“Well good morning ladies. Does it look like it’s going to be a hot one today?” Sarah stands at the sliding door with her hair up in a mess bun that looks like she hasn’t brushed yet, shorts and a stringed top, I am guessing that she slept in them.

“Look what the sun woke up. Grab a chair and plonk your arse down, I was just asking Julia what plans had you got for today.” The phone that was in Abigail’s hand is now slipped back into her pocket as she gives Sarah her full attention.

“Well I was thinking that we could go for a walk to the next village. Check out the bars and local craft. You know, ease into the holiday.”

“Sarah you don’t need to treat me with gloves, I know what you’re implying and I’m grand. I will stick to your rules and we will have a good time. Right?” I snap at her and instantly regret it.

“Okay Jules. Tell me did you sleep well last night? Sarah asks with her eyebrow raised at me.

“I slept ok for a first night in a different bed.”

“And you didn’t leave the apartment at any stage?”

“What are you on about?”

“I heard the door open sometime during the night and well, I came into the kitchen to peek through to the front room. Your bed was empty.”

With two sets of eyes now boring into me, I know I need to give an answer. Sarah has always been the detective between us and won’t let it lie until she is happy with what she hears. Quickly I think of an excuse to satisfy her.

“I needed fresh air. It must have been the whiskey and tablets combined yesterday giving me a headache. So I went outside and sat by the pool.”

“Okay, but next time come and get me. I’ll sit outside with you.”

“Sarah she’s a big girl, I am sure sitting outside by herself isn’t classed as dangerous.”

“Not the point Abi, she could have fallen into the pool.”

“Right I’m off to get showered and dressed. Take a seat Sarah and wrap Julia in cotton wool.” Pushing her chair back from the table, Abigail takes her plate and cup before walking back inside, making Sarah move out of her way to pass. Not once looking my way.

“Don’t mind her, Jules. She seems to have a bee in her bonnet over something for a while now. I was hoping this holiday would shake her up a bit too.”

Sarah takes the seat Abigail had just vacated and leans over the table taking my free hand into hers.

“This is going to be a good holiday. We’ll have memories that we can look back on in years to come and laugh about. Things will get better.”

“I know I just need time. He was my life. I can’t forget him.”

“I’m not asking you to, but you need to live.” Sarah replies, sounding like a broken record even though I know she means well.

I can’t look at her and keep focused on the tea bag lying on the bottom of my cup, drained and used.

“I think I need another cup. You fancy one?” I ask wanting to change the subject before the tears start to fall.

“Yeah I wouldn’t mind. But don’t give me that herbal shit. Coffee and black. Hit me hard in the mornings.”

I slide my hand out of hers and clear the table, taking my things into the kitchen. Filling up the kettle from the cold-water tap I hear a scream from the bathroom.

“Fucking shit, who turned on the tap?” Abigail screams from the top of her lungs.

Quickly I turn the handle the opposite way to stop the flow just as Sarah comes running into the kitchen.

“Is it off?” Is all I managed to hear through her stumbling through the door.

“It is thank god. Why didn’t you tell me the water system is connected?” I ask Sarah as she is doubled over with tears in her eyes from laughing.

“I.... didn’t... know. Oh she is going to be so pissed.”

“Feck it Sarah, it was an accident.”

“Well my lovely. I will leave you to explain that to her when she comes out of there.”

“Do you want this coffee or not?”

“Is there enough water in the kettle?” Sarah laughs.

Switching on the kettle, Sarah stands at the door, with a big grin on her face now that the laughing has ceased. I have kept myself in the dark for so long that I think that is the first time I’ve seen anyone with such devilment. I can’t help but smile, even if it is a little strained.

“Have you had breakfast?” Sarah asks as she moves from the doorway into the small kitchen.

“I had some toast with my tea. Didn’t you see the plate I brought in?”

“I did but I also know you. Hope you didn’t throw half out to the birds or whatever bugs are out there in the dried-up flower pots.”

“Ye of little faith. No I ate the toast. I was hungry after all that travelling yesterday and the shock to my system being here.”

Needing to change the subject, I open the fridge and pull out yoghurt that is part of our welcoming pack.

“Do you want this with your coffee?” I ask Sarah knowing that she loves the Strawberry flavoured ones.

Taking it from me, Sarah pulls open the cutlery draw and takes out a spoon.

“Perfect. That’s why you are my best friend. You know just what I need when I wake up.”

“Take it outside, I’ll bring out the drinks once this kettle hurries up boiling.”

“Okay dokie.”

Taking a cup from the cupboard, I measure out a spoonful of coffee granules and throw in an extra bit for strength. The kettle in its last moments of boiling makes a loud whistling sound, drowning out the footsteps of Abigail entering the kitchen.

“Thanks for that. Nothing like an icy shower to wake me up.”

“What? It was an accident. If I had known I would have waited until you were out.” I confess to her, hoping my explanation is accepted.

With her towel wrapped around her body, held closed by her hand and arms pressed down Abigail leans closer to me.

“Sometimes Julia, not everything is about you. Wake up and smell the fucking sea. Sarah planned this little outing and wanted you here, but I can see straight through you. If you’re going to be miserable while we are here than I will be pissed. You’re just an attention-seeking bitch and everyone around you can read you faster than a tabloid paper. It’s been nearly a year, suck it up.”

Abigail leaves the kitchen like the sleuth she appeared. I lean back against the worktop unsure why a simple mistake caused that outburst. My hands are shaking too much to fill the cups. The taste of my toast is on repeat; the only thing preventing it from reappearing is my pride. I couldn’t believe the venom in her voice. Is this what people really think about me? Are Sarah’s smiles all fake too? Day one of this stupid holiday that I was dragged on the plane for and all I want to do is crawl back to bed. Abigail is right. Sarah has gone to a lot of work to get me here. Good god I haven’t even asked her how much is my share of this place and for the ticket. I’m bloody selfish.

Taking a few controlled breaths, I take out the tea bag from my cup and put in two teaspoons of coffee instead. It is only when Sarah calls out that she is dying of thirst that I get back to pouring the hot water, a little shaky. Heading out to the patio, I smile at Sarah and join her while the coffee is still hot.