Beautiful Goodbye (10 page)

Larkin nodded
before grabbing my hand. As we started walking away I heard the
girl comment, “Football slut.”

Stopping in my
tracks, I turned to face her and really looked at her. She had on
the tightest, shortest gold dress known to man, and she was calling
me a slut? Shit didn’t fly with me. “Excuse me?”

The girl
hopped off the counter and sauntered over to where I was standing.
“You heard me, slut.”

Larkin was
pulling on my arm and said, “Come on babe, she’s just jealous. Look
at her, then look at you. Fuck I’m jealous and I got
you.”

Raising an
eyebrow I laughed. “You’re right. I wasn’t the one trying to force
myself into your arms and pants. Been there and plan on going back
as soon as we get away from Syphi Chicky.” Smiling, I turned around
to Larkin and followed him out.

Walking across
the hall, Larkin unlocked his apartment door, letting us in then
shut it and locked it behind him. Larkin looked me up and down when
he said, “Never seen you like that, fuckin hot baby.”

Shrugging, I
clasped my hands around his neck and whispered, “There’s a lot you
haven’t seen.”

Larkin gave me
his pantie melting half smile. “Then baby, let me
explore.”

Picking me up,
I wrapped my legs around his waist as he walked to his couch.
Setting me down ever so slowly, he started kissing my neck moving
his way across my shoulder and down my chest.

“
Fucking beautiful,” Larkin nipped out.

“
Shut up and fuck me,” I said between sighs.

Larkin pulled
up my shirt and tossed it the side as his hands went behind my back
to undo my bra and slip it down my arms. My hands undid Larkin’s
jeans shoving them and his boxers down his strong legs. Bringing my
hand back up, I wrapped it around his erection and moved it up and
down, hearing Larkin’s moan.

“
Shit, Jenna. You really know how to work with your
hands.”

Smiling, I
pulled his face down to mine and slipped my tongue into his mouth.
Larkin’s hand went under my miniskirt to reveal my secret, no
panties. Larkin’s sharp intake of breath as his hand hit bare skin
was all I needed to make my sexy wild side come out.

Rolling
Larkin, I shoved him onto the couch and straddled him. Larkin
gritted his teeth and said “I like the no panties thing, and you
taking control is sexy as fuck.” Grabbing Larkin’s hardness I
slowly slid down onto it. “Umph, Damn baby.”

I slowly moved
up and down as Larkin’s hands dug into my hips. “Oh, God,” I moaned
out. “I can really feel you’re piercing like this.” Picking up the
pace Larkin brought one nipple to his mouth, sucking and tugging
with his teeth. Within minutes I felt the warmth stirring in the
bottom of my belly building up.

“
So close, Larkin. Oh, God. You feel so good,” I cried
out.

“
That’s right baby, let me hear you,” Larkin spoke through
gritted teeth.

Larkin brought
one hand down, finding my clit and rubbed it in circles until I
flew over the edge. Larkin grabbed my hips, thrusting into me two
more times before I heard him calling out my name and resting my
head on his shoulder.

“
Damn, babe. I like you riding me.”

Kissing his
shoulder I laughed, “Well I did take riding lessons for three
years.”

“
Your instructor teaches magic.”

Laughing I
eased off Larkin. “I will be sure to tell my aunt.”

“
Fuck, your aunt?” he asked.

“
Mmhmm.” I smiled and nodded.

Larkin shook
his head as he stood from the couch and grabbed his clothes,
walking down the hall to his room. I gathered my clothes and
followed him, catching a glimpse of his nice, firm ass. That boy
was going to be the death of me.

**********

The next month
flew by. Larkin and the guys had three more pre-season games. It
sucked that two of the games were away games. I didn't get to see
Larkin as much as I wanted, but it also gave me time to get
prepared for school, which started in a week.

The night
before Larkin came home from his last preseason game. I was lying
in bed snuggled up with a shirt he had left and playing with my
necklace. It was then I came to the realization that I was falling
in love with Larkin Nayler. I wasn't sure how to tell him, or if I
even would. The last guy I told that I loved him only destroyed me,
no big deal. I was freaking out. I. Was. Freaking. Out.

I sent Sadie,
Libby, and Megan a text asking them to come over for a late night
movie and icecream. As soon as they stepped through the door Libby
was on to me asking, "Hey Jenna, you ok?" Libby eyed me
suspiciously.

"Ya, why?" I
asked shrugging my shoulders.

"You sure
you’re ok? Last time we had a late night movie and icecream was
when you told us about you and Trent." Libby, Sadie, and Megan all
had their eyes on me like I was about to freak out or had grown
another head.

I let out a
sigh, "I think I'm in love with Larkin. I want to tell him tomorrow
but I’m terrified of how he will react. I mean we haven't really
been together that long and I'm so fucked up that maybe I'm just
toying with my own heart."

Sadie pulled
me into her. "Honey, you’re not fucked up, you’re a girl. He is
completely in love with you too. Anyone can see that. Don't be
afraid to tell him. He's not stupid enough to throw a girl like you
away. Honestly I'm surprised you two aren't planning your wedding
yet."

Megan popped
up, clapping her hands she squealed, "Oh I better be a bridesmaid
but I swear if you pick ugly ass dresses I will strangle
you."

"What the hell
are y'all spitting out about getting married? I do not ever want to
get married. I’m pretty sure Larkin is on the same page. I'm not
certain he's on the same page as far as our feelings are involved.
I don't want to ruin a good thing by opening my damn
mouth."

Libby grabbed
the small chain and heart pendant Larkin had given me. "Oh really?
He coulda fooled me," Libby smirked.

"Ah I don't
know. This is why I didn't want anything serious, too damn
complicated!" I folded my arms across my chest and laid my head
back on the back of the couch, closing my eyes.

"Sometimes
love is crazy. Hell I didn't expect to find Tyler in high school
and fall in love but I did. Honey just stop being afraid of what
could go wrong and think of everything that could go right. Trust
me, Larkin is crazy in love with you and he will catch you when you
fall. Stop holding back. Sometimes good things fall apart so better
things can come together." Sadie stood from the couch. "I'm going
home. Call me tomorrow, I want all the details. Love
you."

Megan and
Libby hugged me and told me to call them tomorrow also. "Love you
girls, too."

I spent the
rest of the night tossing and turning in my bed. Needless to say I
didn't get much sleep. I knew Larkin wouldn't be home until around
five in the evening so I had all day to think, not good.

I set my iPod
to Maroon 5, seriously who wouldn’t want to listen to Adam Levine?
I spent the day rearranging furniture and reorganizing our pantry.
First in alphabetical order then by expiration date. After
reorganizing, I went to scrub my bathroom then I baked a chocolate
cake followed by chocolate chip cookies and peanut butter pie.
That’s what I do when I'm nervous, I clean and bake. Anything to
keep my mind off life.

A little
before five I heard Gage's key in our front door, I was in the
kitchen mixing up batter to make a batch of drunken
cupcakes.

"Mmm something
smells good babe." Gage said as he walked in the front door and
looked in the kitchen. "Ok what haven't you baked. Oh shit, what’s
wrong?" I looked behind him hoping to see Larkin following.
Nothing.

"Where's
Larkin?" I asked trying not to sound too disappointed it was just
him and totally avoiding his question.

"Gee babe,
good to see you too. Yes, it was a great game but I sure did miss
you." Gage's voice was full of sarcasm.

"Ass. Of
course I'm happy to see you and yes, I missed you too. Great game.
Now where is Larkin?"

"That's a
little better. He said he was going to his place to shower then he
would be over." Gage kissed the top of my head and asked, "You
really like him, huh?"

I felt my
cheeks heat and replied, "I think I love him, Gage."

Gage stepped
back looking into my eyes. I thought I saw sadness flicker across
his face, but as soon as it came it was gone. "Wow. I never thought
the day would come where my girl said that again. I'm proud of you
babe. And trust me the feeling is mutual. If I have to hear another
sex story or listen to him whine about missing you I might rip my
ears off. Boy is whipped." Gage hugged me then whispered, "You will
always be my girl and I will always love you."

"I'm scared,
Gage. Last time I gave my heart out I got hurt. I can't do that
again, I won't survive it." I hugged Gage a little
tighter.

"Jenna, you
can't let that selfish prick ruin your life. You need to forget
him, don't let him dictate you. I know the kind of person you are
Jenna and you want to get married and have a family. You always
have. It takes a strong heart to love but it takes a stronger heart
to continue to love after being hurt."

"I do want the
long walks on the beach, snuggled on the couch, sharing my
milkshake kind of relationship but I can't risk it. I have this
fear that when Larkin finds out about my past he will run or look
at me like I'm not as great as he thinks I am."

"Jenna! You’re
amazing and if his thoughts change because of something that’s not
your fault, I swear I will fucking kill him. But based on the facts
I have the boy is in love with you."

I buried my
face in my hands, fighting the tears. "Gage, I can't do this. I
can't allow myself to be in the same position I was in just a few
years ago. What if Larkin wants kids? Then what?"

"Adopt." Gage
shrugged his shoulder like it was a no brainer. "You have built so
many walls around you over the past few years and the only person
you have let in is me. Not that I'm complaining but like you told
me we won't always be together. Then what will you do?"

I looked up at
Gage and felt the tears sliding down my cheeks. "I don't fucking
know. I'm a mess and I know you’re right. I need to let Larkin in,
I love him. But giving him all the power to ruin me is
hard."

"Part of love
is trust babe, you have to trust him not to hurt you."

Gage was
right, but it was easy for him to say. He had never lost a child at
the hands of somebody else. He had never had to fight for his life.
He had never been in a relationship like I had with
Jacob.

CHAPTER 12

I was still in
Gage's arms when Larkin walked in. "Hey, baby. Sorry I didn't come
straight here. I wanted to get a shower and cleaned up
first."

I let go of
Gage and looked at Larkin. In Gage's arm, I felt safe and
comfortable, but with Larkin, I felt free and wild. He was my
unsure, my unknown. He scared the shit out of me. I needed more
time. Just a little more time.

"It's cool. I
figured we could just eat dinner and chill here tonight. I need to
start looking through all my books before classes start. This
semester is going to kill me."

I spent the
evening with Gage and Larkin, listening to them talk back and forth
while I attempted to read. It really wasn't a lie. I did need to
start looking over things before walking in the first day and
having no idea what was going on. Being a double major was no easy
task. Toss in a new boyfriend, crazy friends, and the lack of study
ethic, and I was screwed. No matter what, I would get this for me,
for my future. This is something I had to do for me, no one else,
but myself. Succeeding with college was something I never imagined
just a few years ago, I had come a long way since then and grown so
much as a person, failure was not an option for me, no matter
what.

"Whatcha
thinkin 'bout over there. Looks serious," Larkin asked catching my
attention.

"Ah nothing,
just thinking about school." I shrugged and looked up to see Larkin
and Gage watching me.

I could see in
Gage's eyes he knew I was lying. He slightly shook his head before
standing. "I think I'm going to go to bed, could ya'll keep it down
tonight or maybe go to your place? I need some damn sleep without
hearing my girl screaming or her bed banging the wall."

I felt my
cheeks heat as I dropped my gaze back to my book. Larkin snickered,
"I can't help I have the dick of God."

Gage flipped
Larkin off before leaning down and kissing the top of my head.
"Night, babe."

"Night." I
watched as Gage’s feet as he walked away. When I heard his bedroom
door open, I brought my head up to see him standing in his doorway
watching me. He looked pained to be leaving me. When he caught me
looking, he mouthed 'love you' before turning and closing his door.
Something was going on with him, and I needed to find out what. We
hadn't had any time alone in a while. Maybe we needed a Gage and
Jenna night soon.