An Unbroken Heart (19 page)

“Ya.”

“See? So I'm normal, like everyone else.” She was normal, wasn't she? She was starting
to doubt even that.

“I never said you weren't, Joanna.” Sadie turned off the lamp on Joanna's bedside
table, but not before Joanna saw her frown. “See you in the morning.”

Joanna lay in the dark, terrified to close her eyes. Eventually she couldn't stay
awake. One minute she was drifting off, the next minute her alarm clock rang. When
she sat up her nightgown
was dry, her sleep dreamless. She breathed out a huge sigh
of relief.
Lord, please let that be the last nightmare.

The rest of the days leading up to the wedding went by without incident. Andrew
hadn't stopped by, but Joanna knew he was busy with the addition. Abigail was quiet
as she continued to help with the wedding preparations. Other than being more reserved
than usual, she acted as if nothing had happened between her and Joel. Karen Yoder
and a couple more of Joanna's friends came over to help make the house spotless for
the ceremony and fellowship afterward. She had to admit it was nice to be around
her friends. They were a welcome distraction. The company and activity must have
relaxed her nerves, too, because the nightmares had stopped.

The night before the wedding, Abigail asked Joanna to try on the wedding dress for
one last fitting.

Joanna slipped on the dark blue dress. Although she'd tried to eat more the past
several days, she was still thin. But Abigail was an excellent seamstress, and the
dress fit perfectly.

Joanna looked at her crutches leaning against the end of her bed. She was strong
enough now to walk a decent distance without them, but she continued to use them.
She planned to surprise everyone tomorrow when she walked down the aisle unaided.

A knock sounded on the door. “Is it okay to come in?” Abigail asked.

“Ya,”
Joanna replied, smoothing the skirt of the dress.

Abigail entered, Sadie directly behind her. They both looked at Joanna for a long
moment.

“You look lovely,” Sadie whispered.

“
Ya
. You do.” Abigail's lower lip trembled. “You're a beautiful bride.”

Joanna blushed at the compliments. Her sisters were going overboard. They all knew
it. Yet something about wearing her mother's dress with her sisters' approval made
her feel warm inside. It also triggered her grief. “
Danki
for everything,” she said,
her throat tightening with gratitude. “I'm not talking about just the wedding.”

Abigail gave Joanna a quick hug. “I've got to put away
mei
sewing supplies.” She
hurried out of the room.

Joanna turned to Sadie. “I'm worried about her.”

“Don't be. Abigail's strong. Just like you.”

But Joanna didn't feel strong, not compared to her sisters. They didn't know what
a coward she truly was.

“I was going to wait for tomorrow to give you
yer
wedding gift, but I think now would
be a better time.” She grinned, then whistled. Homer bounded into the room and went
straight to Joanna. “Here he is.”

Joanna's eyes widened. “You're giving me Homer?”

“He's been
yer
dog since you came home. It's only right he lives with you and Andrew.
Although I guess I should have asked Andrew if it was okay.”

“It will be. He loves all animals, not just horses.” She leaned on her crutches as
she reached to pet the top of Homer's head. Sadie's gift lifted her spirits. “This
is perfect. I was going to miss him so much.”

“And now you don't have to.” Sadie hugged her. “Now,
geh
upstairs and get some sleep.
You need to be rested for
yer
wedding.”

Later that night, Joanna sat at the edge of her bed. The wedding dress hung on a
hanger over the back of the bedroom door. Homer snuggled against her, as if he knew
he was going to have a new home and was happy about it. Joanna glanced at the crutches.
Touched her scar. And vowed to stop feeling sorry for herself. She was marrying a
wonderful man whom she loved. She didn't want him to see her looking less than happy.
Tomorrow is going to be perfect.
She kept saying it to herself until she almost believed
it.

Andrew hefted another pile of hay with his pitchfork and put it in Fred's stall.
The horses' stalls were already clean, but he couldn't sit in the house with nothing
to do, even though it was well past dark. Usually being around the horses calmed
him, but his nerves were more ramped up than ever. He spread out the hay, his arms
and shoulders aching from working during the day and finishing up the addition until
late at night. It wasn't perfect and would definitely need a woman's touch, but it
was as complete as it was going to get. He couldn't wait for Joanna to see it. He
even had a surprise for her in their bedroom. He smiled as he thought about it.

When he looked up from his work, he saw Asa standing in the barn doorway. “Hey,”
he said, stepping out of Fred's stall. “I didn't hear you come in.”

“You were pretty involved in cleaning.”

Andrew looked around at the spotless barn. “
Ya
, I guess I was.”

“I figured I'd find you here.” He walked farther into the barn. “Just checking to
see how you're doing.”

“I'm
gut
.”

“Oh, that's obvious.” He looked around the barn. “Never seen this place so clean.”
He grinned. “Nerves getting to you?” When Andrew didn't reply Asa said, “If they
weren't, then something would be wrong. Every guy is jumpy before his wedding.”

“I want everything to be perfect for her.”

“Of course you do. You love her.”

Andrew set his pitchfork aside and walked over to his friend. “I can't thank you
enough for all
yer
help with the
haus
. I'll give you a hand with
yer
place once Joanna
and I are settled in.”

“Nope. I've got it taken care of, remember?”

“I can't even return the favor?”

Asa shook his head.

“All right.” He had to respect Asa's position, even if he didn't comprehend it. “If
you change
yer
mind, I'm here.”

“I know.” His mouth lifted in a half-grin. “I may not have much time to work on the
haus
anyway. Heard from Barton—they're going to hire me on, starting Thursday.”

“That's
gut
news. I'm glad it worked out for you.”

“So far everything is. It helps me to feel more at peace about being back here. I'm
still not sure what God's up to, but I'm trusting that he knows what he's doing.”
He clapped Andrew on the back. “Are you all set for tomorrow?”

“
Ya
. Everything's ready. It's the waiting that's doing me in.”

Asa chuckled. “Again, that sounds normal.” He grew serious. “I'll pray everything
goes well for you both tomorrow.”

“I'll take those prayers. A little extra help from the Lord is always a
gut
thing.”

After Asa left, Andrew finished spreading the hay in Fred's stall. His thoughts turned
to his father again. He'd had his
daed
on his mind a lot lately, which was weird.
He'd spent the majority of his life trying to forget his father. Often he was successful.
But every once in a while, like now, he would think about him and remember what their
life had been like in Florida before he left their family. His
daed
used to charter
a boat with a few other Amish men and their sons, and they would fish in the ocean.
Andrew could still remember the smell of the salt water, the way the spray felt against
his cheek, his excitement over reeling in a large grouper or orange roughy. Then
they would take the fish home, clean them, and his mother would fry them until they
were golden brown.

He stopped spreading the hay and straightened, gripping the pitchfork handle. Why
was he thinking about fishing now? Or his father? Sure, his
daed
would be a missing
part of the biggest day of his life. But what else was new? He'd missed everything
else important.

Realizing he was driving himself crazy with his thoughts, he put up the pitchfork
and headed to the house. He should be focusing on Joanna, not
Daed
.

Andrew stopped in front of the addition, opened the door, and walked inside. One
last check to make sure everything was ready for Joanna. He took a quick look around
the living room, then went into the bedroom. His surprise for Joanna was on the bed—a
pink-and-white-patterned quilt. Very girly for his tastes, but he knew she would
love it. He couldn't wait to see the spark of happiness in her eyes. He smiled, backed
out of the room, then closed the door.
Tomorrow, Joanna, you'll be
mei
wife.
Despite
his nerves, he was ready to become a married man.

CHAPTER 11

H
appiness filled Joanna's soul. After two weeks of doubting herself and her decisions,
she was now Andrew's wife. She couldn't have been more thrilled, or more in love.

As he drove their buggy down the road, she snuggled against him. A perfect wedding
day. No crutches. No pain. And right before Bishop Yoder had asked them to say their
vows, Andrew had leaned forward and kissed her scarred cheek in front of everyone.

Her stomach fluttered as she took in his handsome profile. How could she ever have
been anxious about marrying him? He took her hand and kissed her fingers. “I love
you so much, Joanna.”

“And I love you.”

She leaned her head against his shoulder. There was only one thing missing from today—her
parents.
Mamm's
doubts would have disappeared if she could have seen what a perfect
couple they were.

“Joanna?”

She lifted her head and looked at her new husband, basking in the loving smile he
gave her.
“Ya?”

“I can't wait to spend the rest of
mei
life with you.”

Suddenly she lurched in the seat as something slammed into the buggy. But instead
of hurtling through the air, she somehow remained in her seat. The buggy shuddered
to a halt. The horse! She looked up, but she didn't see the animal. She let out a
relieved breath when she saw the empty harness. Somehow the horse had escaped. She
turned to Andrew, the perfect sunny day instantly shrouded in gray storm clouds.
Terror filled her.

Andrew wasn't there.

“Andrew?” She scrambled out of the buggy. The fields surrounding her were empty.
There was no one in sight, no sound other than her desperate calls to her new husband.
He didn't answer.

She searched through the tall grass. With each step her legs ached. Her hips stiffened.
Pain she'd never felt before dragged at her. By the time she saw Andrew's black hat
lying on the ground, she had stumbled to her knees, unable to walk, the agony in
her hips, legs, and face almost unbearable.