An Officer but No Gentleman (21 page)

“No.”

21

Jaxon stood outside Charlie’s bedroom door clad in a hastily thrown on pair of breeches and a half-buttoned shirt.  The cries she made when having a nightmare, filtered out into the corridor.  He debated with himself whether to go in.  She suffered these nightmares all her life and had been fine, but hearing her in distress bothered him more than he could stand.  Clear as a bell, he heard her shouting for her mother.  He put his hand on the doorknob.  If it turned, he decided, he would go in.  Her scream of
No
!  prompted him to turn the knob.  It opened without resistance.  Jaxon padded unevenly to her bedside. The light from the moon peeked in between partially separated curtains and a lick of golden flames from small fire on the grate in the hearth dimly lit the room. 

“Charlie, baby.”  He reached out and stroked her hair.  “Charlie, wake up, baby.”

She woke up with a start and cussed.

With any other woman, he would have been shocked
, but it was a bit endearing when she blasphemed. “Anyone tell you, you swear like a sailor?”

“What are you doing here?” she asked groggily. “
Oh, I was having another dream. Did I wake you?”

“No.”
He had been lying awake in bed thinking of her and worrying about what Grayson would find. “Do you have these dreams every time you talk about that day?”

She pushed herself into a sitting posi
tion and rubbed her face.  “No. I think about the fire nearly every day.  When I was going to sleep, it occurred to me, if the newspaper had a story about the fire, my father might have read it.  What if they knew it was my fault and he read that?”

Jaxon sat on the edge of the bed, took her in his arms and held her.

“I used to wonder if he knew. It would explain a lot.”

“Like what?” he asked placing his lips against her forehead.

Charlie shrugged and seemed hesitant to tell him. “He knew one of the cabin boys used to beat me up when I first came aboard, but he never did anything to stop it.  Later, he said he was trying to make me tough and learn to defend myself.  But when I did fight back, he took his strop to me.  Not once did he as much as cuff Zeb.”

“Surely, you’re joking.”

“Not a bit. But I suppose it worked. When I couldn’t take it anymore, I took my knife and I tried to stab him. German George stopped me. That boy was twice my size and the only ones who ever helped me were the crew.”

“Twice your size and beating up a girl.”

“Zeb didn’t know that.”

He held her away from his chest for a minute.  “But your father did. He could dress you in breeches and make you do a man’s day of work
, but that in no way makes you anything, but what you are.”

What kind of man would let
his daughter get beaten up by a boy twice her size? The bastard probably did know she started the fire and took perverse pleasure out of seeing her bruises. Jaxon stroked her cheek. “I just can’t imagine what your childhood was like.”

“You make it sound worse than it really was.  You never got bullied by an older boy?”

“There was safely being a twin with another brother and sister close to being the same age.  We may not have gotten along with each other all the time, but we banded together when someone from outside the family threatened us.”

She smiled and leaned against his chest.  “Do you think Daniel and Grayson will ever stop seeing me as a threat?”

“They will if they know what’s good for them.”

“Grayson wouldn’t make anything up to keep us apart, would he?”

A moment passed before Jaxon spoke.  “No.  He believes in logic and evidence.  He’s very thorough.  When he comes back, he’ll know the truth and he’ll let that determine his course of action.”

“That’s a relie
f.”  Charlie closed her eyes. “Hmm, I could sleep right here in your arms all night.”

“Oh, baby, I wish I could stay and hold you until morning,” Jaxon murmured. “But I know if I stay
, I’m not going to be able to resist taking you.”

Charlie bit her lip. She wasn’t sure what she wanted. In truth she was more than a little apprehensive about making love. In the past three years, she had several conversations with
the bar wenches she paid to make her crew think she was a man of healthy appetite. She was more than confused about whether the sex act was something that a woman merely endured or actually enjoyed. She had asked so many questions of so many women and there was certainly no consensus. None of the women really liked what they did and admitted they rarely or never got enjoyment when they were working, but sometimes, if they were with someone special, they liked it.

Charlie had seen more than her share of naked men and she could not fathom how something that large being put inside her could possibly be pleasurable and she hoped Jaxon would not be one of those man who was overly large. They were always so proud of it when it was big and when they used expressions like “split the wench in two” it scared the bejesus out of her.

But Charlie knew she loved Jaxon with all of her heart and knew he felt the same. If he wanted to make love to her, she wanted to do it for him. Their wedding was approaching soon and it was inevitable.

“I-I want you to stay,” she whispered. “I want to please you.”

The corner of Jaxon’s mouth turned up. It was just like her to think about his pleasure, when he worried about hers. Would he be able to control his ardor long enough to please her?

Jaxon kissed her lingeringly
, then stood up and removed his hastily donned clothing.  He was already engorged with need, but tried to keep his body turned away so he wouldn’t embarrass her.

He sat down on the edge of the bed and kissed her. He entwined his fingers in her thick sable hair. He moved his lips against hers until her lips parted and his tongue made its first invasion into her mouth.

Charlie moaned. Her thoughts melted away as they had the first time he’d kissed her. She darted her own tongue to his lips and tentatively deepened her kiss until her tongue slipped into his mouth. His tongue found hers and chased her back into her mouth then lured it back into his. The kiss stole her breath away.

How was it possible that a kiss could make other parts of her body tingle and twitch? Her body seemed to be writhing of its own accord, searching for something that she dared not think about.

“Jaxon,” she panted.

She pushed against his chest even as he tried to pull her closer. The sound of panic rose in her throat. The tension in his arms suddenly went slack.

“What’s wrong, baby?” he said pulling back.

“I can’t breathe,” she said then realized it wasn’t quite true. “I can’t catch my breath.” Charlie didn’t know how to explain that every fiber in her body seemed to be charged wi
th static electricity. She half-expected the hairs on her head to stand up—the hairs on her arms already were.

“You’re just nervous, Charlie.”

“No,” she jumped in. “I mean, I am, but that’s not it. I think there’s something wrong with me. It’s too….” Charlie wasn’t sure if there was a word for what she was feeling that she spoke the word that most closely encompassed what she was feeling. “It’s too strong.”

“It’s too strong?” Jaxon removed one hand from her hair and traced his finger from her earlobe down her neck to her collarbone. “Is it overwhelming? Is that what’s wrong?”

She nodded vigorously. “If we were standing, I would’ve crumpled to the floor because my knees would have become too weak to hold me up.”

“All we’ve done is kiss,” Jaxon pointed out. “We’ve kissed before. Do you want me to stop?” he asked,
trying to keep a hard edge from his voice.

“No, I’m all right now. I was just overcome.”

Jaxon exhaled the breath that he was holding as his pent up tension relaxed. His need ached and he didn’t know what he would have done if she had changed her mind.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “I want it to be good for you
, but I feel like I need to run around or something so I can calm down.”

Jaxon chuckled. “I think I understand now. That nervous energy you’re feeling is passion,” he said. “Take a couple of deep breaths and tried to relax.”

Jaxon gave her a couple of seconds before his mouth found hers, but this time he did not linger there, he moved to her ear allowing his mere breath to ignite a firestorm of sensation.

“Oh,” she breathed, her eyes closing involuntarily at the feeling.

The hand at her collarbone could feel her heart thumping hard and steady in her chest.

His tongue stroked the edge of her ear as he found the buttons of her nightshirt. One by one
, he pushed the buttons through the holes until the garment lay open to the waist.  Jaxon pushed it back until he could see one breast and then the other.

“You have beautiful breasts,” he said as he covered one with his hand and the other with his mouth sucking gently and teasing her nipple into its full plumpness. Her nipples were the size of one of his fingers from the bed of his nail to the tip. They were gloriously large and he felt himself throbbing with need at the sight and feel of them.

Charlie inhaled raggedly as he drew the pink bud into his mouth.

“Jaxon!” she gasped. “Oh!”

Her hands flexed restlessly as her back arched off the bed. She wanted to scream for him to stop because she wasn’t sure she could take much more. But at the same time, it felt so amazing; she didn’t want him to ever stop.

And then he did
.

Her breathing was fast and ragged again and he seemed to be waiting for her to
relaxed before he kissed his way from that breast to the other. This time he did not suckle the tip. This time he licked it and blew cool air over it. The bud puckered and the whole breast flooded with chilled bumps.

Charlie moaned in a raspy voice.

“Jaxon, I—”

He
loved the nipple with his tongue again, flicking and lapping at the tip, then blowing on it again.

“Were you going to say something?”

“I don’t remember.” Her brain never worked right when he touched her.

Jaxon backed away from her and remove her night shirt and her knickers. He couldn’t wait much longer. If he became any harder without relief, he was going to be in pain.

As Jaxon moved to cover her with his body, Charlie looked down to see his arousal. She hadn’t been able to stop herself. She wanted to be prepared. Her eyes grew wide and she suddenly still as she realized her worst fear. He truly was going to split her in two if he wielded it like a weapon. But Charlie knew she loved Jaxon and she truly wanted to please him, even if it was going to be unpleasant. Charlie promised herself no matter how bad it hurt, she wouldn’t let herself cry. As she mentally prepared herself, Jaxon made his first forays between her legs. Her hips came off the bed as his mouth found the sensitive nub.

“Jax!” Her voice was high with surprise. “You mustn’t….” Her voice trailed off into a moan.

“I must,” he teased, lifting his head momentarily, though in truth, he didn’t have to. Charlie was already slick to his touch, but he’s still wanted to taste her nectar and bring her to the brink with his mouth before he entered her. He was so aroused, he wasn’t sure if he could last as long as she deserved so it was even more important to get her as equally aroused.

As Jaxon loved her with his mouth, he slid one finger into her; a minute later his second finger entered her. Jaxon allowed the muscles to stretch before he withdrew them and placed the tip of his shaft at her opening.

“Charlie, I love you,” he said entering her slowly, making small strokes, each time going a little deeper, stopping when he felt himself at her maidenhead. “Thank you for saving yourself for me. I-I don’t want to hurt you.”  He was reluctant to push through it knowing he would cause her pain.

Suddenly, Charlie lifted her hips forcing him deeper. She made a slight whimper. Jaxon stilled her hips to allow the pain time to dissipate and for the untried muscles a moment to acclimate to the new intrusion.

Jaxon sought out her mouth and kissed her again and slowly withdrew and re-invaded. He only meant to increase the depth of his thrusts incrementally until she took him completely, but Charlie drove her pelvis into his and in one swift move, she sheathed him to the hilt.

Jaxon moaned at feel of her warmth tightly cocooning him. “Charlie,” he murmured. “Oh, baby, you don’t know what you’re doing to me.”

Jaxon began moving within her and she was moving beneath him, arching and drawing him in in a rhythm as old as mankind.

Her breath came in fast shallow moans
, escalating in both timbre and frequency as her passion grew.

“Oh my God, I can’t breathe, I can’t….” She shuddered as the orgasm washed over her. “My God, Jaxon! I can’t…”

Whatever she was going to say was lost as she arched and whimpered. Her muscles clamped around him, throbbing and convulsing in waves. He couldn’t prolong his pleasure any longer and buried himself in her depths.