An Officer but No Gentleman (22 page)

“Baby, oh.” He let out a primal moan as he spilled himself in her and he collapsed on top of her. She tightened her muscles making him shudder.

She sighed.

He smiled at the sound as he wrapped his arms around her and rolling onto his back bringing her with him. His eyes closed as he held her, content that his life could not be any more perfect.

“You did that to me again. I-I thought I had imagined it the other time. I didn’t know my body could feel like that. That was amazing.”

Jaxon chuckled at her choice of words. “Yes, it was,” he said stroking her hair. “You’re amazing.”

“I thought it was going to be horrible, but it wasn’t.”

Jaxon’s head came up; his eyes wide as he peered into her contented, flushed face resting on his chest.

“You thought it was going to be horrible?”

“Aye,” she admitted. “Especially when I saw how big you are, I thought it was going to be painful
, but it was perfect.”

Jaxon chuckled. He loved the way she had to say exactly what was on her mind. Most women would have been retrospect and quiet after making love the first time
, but Charlie couldn’t contain herself.

“I can’t believe you
were expecting it to be horrible and yet, you didn’t want to wait.”

“I wanted to do it for you. I wanted you to have pleasure. I didn’t know I would
, too.”

Jaxon felt like a first-class fool. He had assumed because she had been r
aised in the company of men, she knew everything there was to know about sex. But they would have spoken coarsely about rutting and conquests from a fraternal, and no doubt, crude perspective. Charlie had no mother or other married woman in her life to talk about the marriage bed. He should have asked his sister Imelia to talk with her to ease her fears. He wondered if anyone had warned her about her menses.

“Whe
n you told me your doctor caught you looking at his books and he thought it was because you were interested in medicine, it was because you had started to bleed, wasn’t it?”

“Aye,” she whispered. “I had heard the men speak of it before and I thought they were making up stories to scare the young crewmen
, but I didn’t think it was true until it happened.”

“You didn’t tell the doctor or your father?”

“Dr. Kirk eventually figured it out when I kept stealing the material he used for bandages. It was a hard thing to hide on a ship. And frankly, the doctor was nearly useless except in supplying me with rags.”

Jaxon wrapped his arms tightly around her. “Charlie, never be embarrassed to tell me or ask me anything. If I don’t know, I will find out for you or you can ask my mother or my sister
s.”

Charlie blushed to her roots
, but somehow managed to tell him she would be needing rags in a few days.

He wondered how she would’ve dealt with it if he did not broach the subject.

Secretly, Jaxon hoped she’d have no need for the rags.

22

Charlie stood perfectly still.  She had been poked with pins more times than she could count during these fittings.  She had asked Jaxon not to stay for fear that his presence was making Mabel nervous and that was why she had become a human pincushion.

As Mabel began marking seams and thrusting pins in place, Mrs. Jenkins showed Charlie trim and sketches.

“So Captain Bloodwort
hy decided not to join you?”

“He has his own fitting today,” Charlie said, knowing he made his appointment after she asked him to let her go alone.

“Oh, which tailor is he using?”

Charlie thought for a moment. “I don’t remember the name
, but it’s the one on the corner of the next block.”

“Oh, Samuel Levins?”

“Aye, that’s it.”

Mrs. Jenkins nodded. “Mr. Levins does splendid work.”

The bell over the door jangled alerting the women to another customer.  Mrs. Jenkins, supervising the fitting, disappeared through the curtain to the retail area of the shop.

“Miss Adams, what a surprise.  How can we help you today?”

Millie Adams lowered her voice. “I saw her come in. I want to meet her.”

Mrs. Jenkins looked around nervously trying to figure out how to prevent Millie Adams from confronting Captain Bloodworthy’s fiancée.  She genuinely liked Miss Sinclair
, and had dealt with Millie Adams enough to know that she was helpless to stop her.  When Millie pushed past the seamstress to the back, Mrs. Jenkins rushed out of the store.  Thank goodness she knew where Captain Bloodworthy was having his fitting.

“Hello, Mabel.  Won’t you introduce us?”

Charlie forced a polite smile to her lips.  She didn’t know much about social interaction with a land woman
, but some things just seemed common sense.  Did one extend their hand before or after the introductions?  What if she was supposed to curtsy?  Perhaps the woman would forgive her if she faltered.  The woman had a regal way of carrying herself that made Charlie feel inferior.  The woman’s lips curled into a sneer.

“Uh,” Mabel said, frozen to the spot, three straight pins held between her lips.

“No need.  I know who she is.  Do you still have any material from my blue dress?  It would be the perfect trim on Miss Sinclair’s dress.  After all, I know she likes my scraps.”

The smiled died on her Charlie’s lips.

She was stunned.  She had no idea who this pretty blonde viper was, or why she would say such a thing.  Quickly, Charlie drew on her memory of meeting Grayson for the first time.

“I’m afraid you have me at a disadvantage.”

“Good.” The smirk on her face marred the woman’s beautiful looks.  She had the most stunning crystal blue eyes. They reminded Charlie of the ocean water in Aruba.  Her nose seemed too small for her face, but gave her a China doll appearance.  Charlie wondered if her hair might have come from Swedish ancestors as it was so pale that it was nearly white and pinned up fashionably.

Removing the pins from her mouth Mabel cut in.  “She’s Millie Adams, Captain Bloodworthy’s former fiancée.”

“Former?  He never had the guts to break it off with me himself, but yes, we were betrothed when he was still handsome.  I just can’t imagine how anyone can keep from running away in horror when you see his face now. You only have to look at Grayson to see what I had.”

If Millie Adams had been a man
, she met in a tavern, Charlie would have known how to handle her, but she had never been verbally attacked by a woman before.

“I can see why Jaxon wouldn’t mention you,” Charlie gritted.  “You’re not worth mentioning.  But let me extend my gratitude.  Thank you for not marrying him.  He makes me very happy.” 

Millie looked Charlie up and down and made a face as though she didn’t measure up. “You mean his money makes you very happy.  Why else would someone wed something so hideous?  But then again, I guess when you’re ugly; you have to take what you can get."

Mabel gasped. “Don’t listen to her Miss Sinclair.  You’re prettier than she’ll ever be,” Mabel said.  “She is just jealous because you’re getting him to the altar after knowing him for a short time and she couldn’t get him there in several years of engagement.”

“Oh, what would you know, Mabel?  No man has ever looked twice at you or that horrid mop of red hair.  I bet Mrs. Jenkins has to inspect your fingernails every day before she lets you touch the fabric.”

Charlie had had enough.  It was one thing to lash out at the person who was marrying her former fiancée, it was quite another to attack Mabel who was sweet and kind and shy. Charlie took a step towards her, her muscles tensing of their own accord.

“I waited for him through the best years of my life.  But you’re wrong if you think I’m jealous of her.  I know I’m the luckiest person alive when I think I could have gotten stuck with that hideous monster for the rest of my life.  The idea of kissing him is repulsive.”

“That’s funny,” Jaxon said walking through the curtain.  “The thought of kissing
you
makes my stomach turn.”

Neither woman
heard the bell above the door jangle.

“Jaxon!”

“What do you want, Millie?” 

Charlie had seen that look on Jaxon’s face before.  The scars made his scowl look absolutely menacing.

“I know you just brought her here to make me jealous because you want me back, but it’s not going to work.  I wouldn’t have you back if you were the last man on earth.  I’d rather die an old maid.”

“My God, Mildred.  You’re delusional.”

“My name is not Mildred and you know it.”

“It’s my understanding
your days of being a maiden are long gone.  As a matter of fact, I heard from many people how well rid of you I was, because you were with more than one man while we were engaged.”

Her face was red with fury.
“That’s not true,” she shrieked, stomping her foot. “And how can you challenge my virtue when your bride-to-be has already moved in?”

Jaxon stepped between Millie and Charlie shielding her from the unpredictable woman.

“I’m going to warn you now, Millie.  If you ever so much as say more than ‘Good morning,’ to Charlie again, I will spread around town that you tried to seduce Grayson the night I came home injured.  I watched the whole thing from the top of the stairs, Millie, so don’t try to deny it.”

Millie opened her mouth to say something
, but snapped it shut again. She looked like a fish out of water.

“Leave.”

Millie Adams stood for a moment longer, but wisely decided to turn on her heel and stomped out of the shop without a word, slamming the door behind her.

“Thank you for coming to get me, Mrs. Jenkins,” Jaxon said then turned to Charlie.  “Are you all right?”

“I was just caught off guard.  Daniel had mentioned her name, but I thought you’d eventually tell me about her if she was important.” 

Jaxon looked
chagrined.  “She was the biggest mistake of my life.  I was too embarrassed to admit I ever had feelings for her.  Ironically, I never looked past her pretty face to know how truly ugly she is.”

“’Ironically’?”

“I had to become ugly to realize how shallow
I
was.”

“You are the most handsome man I’ve ever met.  Does that make me shallow
, too?” she asked stepping up to him and putting her arms carefully around his waist trying not to stab either of them with the pins in her dress.

“Even better looking than Grayson?”

“Grayson? He’s only good looking because he favors you.”

“Really?” he said, a smile coming to his lips.

“I don’t mean to be rude, but he’s a bit of a jackass.”

He touched her face then softly kissed her.  “Are you almost finished here?  I’ve got a surprise for you.”

“Another ten minutes, Captain,” Mabel said pushing a red lock of hair behind her ear. 

“I’ll wait outside.”

After they heard the door shut, Mabel turned to Charlie.  “I think he’s handsome, too.  I hope someday I’ll meet someone who loves me as much as Captain Bloodworthy loves you.  Every time he looks at you, his eyes light up. He’s really sweet.”

Charlie wasn’t sure Jaxon would fully appreciate be called sweet
, but she smiled in spite of herself.

Jaxon never made it to his fitting.  He had seen Jayne on the way and she suggested he take Charlie riding and on a picnic.  When he commended her on the idea, she ran home to make all the arrangement with the family cook.  Although she was not as tall as Charlie, she felt her riding habit would fit well enough and her mare was gentle enough for any first time rider.

When Charlie finished her fitting, Jaxon took her to his mother’s home where everything waited on them.  Charlie changed then met Jaxon in the barn for a quick lesson in riding before leaving.  She had been a little nervous since she had never ridden before
, but found it less scary than she anticipated.  They ate their lunch at a scenic little pond then dipped their bare feet into the water.  But it was so late in the year; the water was too icy to keep their feet in long.

“I bet you used to swim naked
here when you were young,” she said.

“A couple of times,” he admitted.  “We’ll have to come here in the summer some time.”

“I’m not swimming naked.”

“We’ll go at night.”

“And I’ll be sitting right here fully dressed.”

23

Seeing what joy new experiences brought her, Jaxon tried to find something new to expose her to daily.  It was the more mundane things he was having better luck with.

When he took her to the fanciest hotel restaurant in town for a cup of chocolate, she told him in Mexico, they put cinnamon in it.  This cup was the way it was served in most of Europe.

When they walked around town, if she saw flowers growing she had to stop and look at them up close.  She always had to ask the flowers’ name and smell it, even if that meant getting down on her hands and knees to do so.  Jaxon only knew the names of a few
, so he stopped at the booksellers and ordered her a book about flowers.  He bought her paper and a charcoal pencil to try to draw the blooms, but found she was easily frustrated by her lack of skill. It was an unnecessary talent on the ship, so she’d never been encouraged to draw.

Two days before their engagement dinner, Jaxon informed Charlie that they would be staying at home because they were expecting a special guest.

“Wait here,” he told her when the heavy brass knocker tattooed the visitor’s arrival.  He was at the door for a few minutes before he came back carrying two baskets.  He set the smaller basket down on the table, but carried the larger basket to her.  When she saw the blanket move a moment of nausea hit her.  Puppies?

“Imelia has lent us her baby for a couple of hours.”

Jaxon laughed at her expression. Her eyes were as big as saucers. He could tell the baby filled her with both apprehension and fascination. Hesitantly, she pulled the blanket back as if a snake laid coiled ready to strike underneath.

The baby coo
ed as the blanket was lifted, making Charlie jump.  Large blue eyes stared back at her.

“Does it have a name?”

“Her name is Clara.”

“Clara,” Charlie echoed.

“Do you want to hold her?”

Charlie shook her head.  She was terrified
of the small pink being.  Rarely had she been this close to a baby and she had never held one.  But she knew, they often screamed for no reason.

Jaxon set the basket on the floor and reached in for his niece.

“What are you doing?”

“We can’t leave her in the basket for the next two or three hours.”

“Don’t drop her.”

“I’m not going to drop her and neither are you.  I’ll hold her until you’re ready.  Come sit over here next to me.”

Charlie moved to the settee, but kept her hands folded in her lap.

Jaxon bounced Clara and spoke in a high register.  He was rewarded with a smile and a coo from the six month old.

“How do you know how to do that?”

“I have six younger brothers and sisters and tons of cousins and another niece and nephew.”

Charlie had a hundred questions and asked most of them before she got her nerve up.  Jaxon began to pass the baby to her, but pulled Clara back.

“You aren’t going to cry, are you?” he asked.

“Of course not.”

“Liar.”

He handed her the baby.  She stared at Clara for a few seconds then pulled the baby against her shoulder and cried.

Jaxon put his arm around her and kissed her cheek.  “You’re going to be a great mother,” he whispered in her ear.  “Does she make you want one?”

She wore a serious expression when she looked at him.  Charlie had seen his disappointment when she shyly informed him that they couldn’t make love because her monthly had started.

“Eventually.”

“Unless you’re suggesting what it almost sounds like you’re suggesting, we’re going to start our family sooner than later.”

Charlie frowned.  She didn’t know how to tell him how she felt except to come out and say it.

“As long as you are privateering, I don’t want to have children.  It isn’t safe to have a baby aboard when cannonballs and grapeshot are flying through the air.  And I don’t want to be here raising children on my own when I still feel like I’m lost in a foreign country when I’m on land.  I want to be with you, wherever you are.”

Jaxon looked poleaxed.  “You
are
suggesting we abstain from marital relations?”

“Heavens no!”

“Thank heavens.  You had me scared.  What are you suggesting?”

Charlie stroke Clara’s downy hair.

“I’ve been reading about it in Dr. Kirk’s books and there seems to be a great deal of evidence that there are only a few days a month when a woman can, you know, conceive.”  Charlie blushed.  “We just have to avoid those days.”

Jaxon sat back staring sightlessly at a spot on the wall.  “Huh.”

“Are you angry?”

He thought about it.  “No.
I don’t know what I’m feeling. It never occurred to me that we had any control over when we started our family.”  He wondered if people would assume something was wrong with one of them if they didn’t start having children right away.  “It certainly gives me more time to have you all to myself.”

“It’s not foolproof.”  She smiled at him as she bounced the baby a few times.  “In a few years
, we can have as many children as you want.”