An Officer but No Gentleman (30 page)

His brow quirked up and a lopsided grin acknowledged he understood what she suggested. Charlie blushed, but returned his smile as his thumb lightly stroked the sensitive skin of her inner wrist.  How could such a light touch make her whole body long for him?  She wanted to run the rest of the way to his townhouse, but slowly strolled as if out for a casual walk.

“Would you like me to tell you all the things I’m going to do to you when we get there?” he asked softly, giving a nod to an acquaintance who rode a horse past them at that moment.

“I’m afraid if you do, we might have our uniforms off before we get there.”

             
He sighed.  “I suppose you’re right. That would be rather embarrassing.”

As soon as they were behind the closed door of his townhouse
, Charlie laughed and sprinted up the stairs to his room with Jaxon in close pursuit.

“My God, I’ve never wanted you more,” he said between kisses as they pulled at each other’s clothing.

Jaxon kissed her neck raising chill bumps up her spine into her hair as his fingers nimbly unbuttoned her waistcoat, but he struggled to find the buttons beneath the frill of her shirt.

“Don’t tear it.”

“I’ll buy you another one.”

Her hands were instantly on his.  “I’ll do it.”

As Charlie worked to divest herself of her clothing, Jaxon quickly stripped off his, pulling his shirt over his head, yanking the boots off his feet and stepping out of the rest of his clothes.

“You’re still tying yourself down?” he questioned.  “Everyone knows.”

“My uniforms don’t fit if I don’t.”

“It must be my birthday ‘cause I’m going to unwrap my present,” he said huskily making her giggle.

She stood with her arms raised up as he pulled the strip free, once, twice, three times around her and dropped the fabric on a chair.

Finally naked, he pulled her against his hard body, one arm around her waist holding her firmly against him, the other hand exploring the curve of her bottom. 

He moved her towards the bed as easily as he had led her around the dance floor.  Her body responded to every nuance of his movements until they were in the large bed.

As he laved a large pert nipple with his tongue, she traced a scar on his shoulder.  He covered her hand with his and moved his attention to her other breast.  When she began tracing another scar lightly with a finger from her other hand, he interlaced his fingers with both her hands and pinioned her hands to the mattress.

He felt her struggle momentarily against his strength, but she ceased her struggles as he pressed into her. Her hips lifted involuntarily to meet his, drawing him deeper. Struggling against his grip, she fought to free herself so she could touch him, bring all of her senses into play, but she could not free her hands. It made her concentrate all of her focus on one spot, on one sensation, on one mind-erasing feeling building. It was building too fast, too intense to stop it or even to slow it. Her whole body shuddered with it. The pulsing of her womanhood sent him into his own shuddering climax.

Afterwards, Jaxon noticed as he snuggled up to Charlie, that she had her face turned away from him. Normally
, she put her head on his shoulder or chest and stroked his chest and stomach with feather soft caresses, but today she remained on her back and had yet to look at him.

“What’s wrong?”

She shook her head, but didn’t say anything.  She couldn’t answer.

“Charlie, baby, what’s wrong?”

He put his arm under her shoulders and pulled her close, patiently waiting.

“Is it something I did?  Did I hurt you?”

She shook her head again.

“Tell me, Charlie.  I can’t fix it if I don’t know what’s wrong.”

Charlie covered her eyes with her arm as if she could hide her shame.  “I’m sorry.”

“You’re sorry?  For what?”

“You know I don’t know the things land girls know,” she said haltingly.  “I-I didn’t know I wasn’t supposed to touch you.”

Jaxon realized why she was upset.  “Charlie, I love it when you touch me.  I-I....”  He hesitated trying to come up with the right words.  “When you were tracing my scars, my mind kept going back to that day.  I didn’t want to think about it when we were making love.”

“I’m sorry,” she said again.

“No, I’m sorry, baby. You didn’t do anything wrong.
I did.  I didn’t know it would upset you. Give me your hand. If you want to touch them you can.”

He took her hand, kissed her palm and placed her fingertips on his forehead over the scar and guided her hand the length of it to his jaw.  Then he placed her hand on a scar on his chest.

“I wish I could make them not hurt you anymore.”

“They haven’t hurt in a long time.”

“I mean in here,” she whispered, sounding sorrowful as she tapped his chest.

“When I get my revenge, I’ll feel healed.”

Charlie felt his body tensed and heard the hardness in his tone. She lifted up on her elbow so she could see his face more clearly. He looked off into the darkness; his sight focused on the images in his mind conjured up rather than anything inside the room.

“Your revenge?”

“That’s why I had the ship built and got my
Letter of Marque and Reprisal
.  I’m going to find the man who did this to me and I’m going to take his ship.”

His anger surprised her. 
It was a deep-seated hatred she didn’t know was inside him.  She wished she understood where it came from.

“You’re never going to tell me are you?”

“Tell you?” He turned his focus on her.

“What happened to you?”

Jaxon pressed his lips against her forehead and stroked her hair. “You never asked so I thought you must have asked Daniel or someone else. It’s common knowledge.”

As he told her how he was keelhauled, she rested her hand on a large scar on his chest. When he finished, he could feel wetness on his shoulder where her tears had fallen.

“That man is a monster. But if you hadn’t been keelhauled, you might have married Millie. You wouldn’t have had your ship built, nor become a privateer. You wouldn’t have rescued us and we would’ve never met.”

“So you think I should be thankful that this was done to me?”

“No, of course not, Jaxon. I think I see a higher plan in this. Fate if you will.”

Jaxon was again amazed by her logic and had to be grudgingly acknowledge that being keelhauled had started him down a path that led to her. How he met the love of his life in the middle of the ocean amazed him still. He didn’t know if there was such a thing as Fate
, but he wasn’t about to challenge it.

“Only you could see the good in being keelhauled. That must be why I love you so much.”

“You love me?”

“I’m sorry I doubted it, Charlie.”

34

Daniel and Jaxon ensconced themselves in the overly tidy captain’s quarters of the
Arcadia
going over the logs and ledgers.  Jaxon noticed the scars in the wood where Charlie’s hammock once hung. The cabin expanded the breadth of the ship with two curtained windows that brighten the room which was as void of decorations as Charlie’s had been. The men thought it would be best to go through the books hoping if Daniel had any questions, they could be answered before he was thousands of leagues away. 

Jaxon looked through the log books as Daniel opened the ledgers.

“Whoa!” Daniel exclaimed.  “Have you seen this?”

He turned the book around and showed it to Jaxon.  Jaxon’s eyes grew wide.

“That’s the company’s net worth?”

Daniel flipped back a page.  “
That
is the company’s net worth. 
This
—,” he flipped back to the original page, “is Charlie’s percentage.”

“I wond
er if she knows.  She told me they had plans to commission a new ship eventually, but my heavens, she could commission an entire fleet.”

“You realize when you get married, this all becomes yours.”

Jaxon paled.  “I guess she wasn’t kidding when she said she could pay for her own dresses.  I’m glad I didn’t know about it when I proposed.”

“When who proposed?”

Jaxon ignored him.  “The old man must have been a shrewd negotiator.  Look at this,” he said showing the Daniel the logs.  “With every entry about a negotiation there is a footnote about what the shipping clerk and area merchants would like to get their hands on.  When he came back to that port, he made sure he had what they wanted and he charged a premium for it.”

Daniel pulled another log book off the shelf and brought it back to his seat.

“There must be twenty-five years’ worth of experience here for me to learn from.  Do you think Charlie will let me keep these for now?”

“Ask her.  I can’t imagine why she wouldn’t.”

Jaxon did a little math in his head and looked for the log that corresponded with the time when Charlie came aboard.  He had already noticed there was almost nothing in the logs of the day to day running of the ship.  It was mostly their coordinates and cargo information, but surely he would put a footnote about his wife’s demise or Charlie coming aboard.  He turned the pages rapidly scanning each page for her name.  Then he found it.  She was listed last among new crew members with the number six, her age, he supposed, next to her name.  Nothing about her mother or even that Charlie was related to him.  On the next page there was a sentence that Dr. Kirk would be in charge of Charlie’s education for which he would be financially compensated. 

Jaxon flipped the pages looking for Charlie’s name again.  Nothing.  Jaxon went to the shelf and found the next book.  The next mention of Charlie was nearly two years later.  “Disciplinary action:
Twenty-five lashes—strop—for attempted murder.  One for swearing.”

Charlie said she tried to stab the cabin boy with her knife. Apparently, she wasn’t exaggerating. But w
ho takes a strop to a little girl like that?  And where was the punishment for the little bully who beat her up? 

Jaxon closed the book.  He wasn’t going to find out anything from the ship’s logs.  He already knew the man was a cold bastard.  And apparently richer than God
, but wouldn’t spend a couple of coins on his daughter for her birthday.  He didn’t need the scant details the logs would provide.  Charlie wouldn’t want him going through the records looking for tidbits of her childhood.

Jaxon was glad he never met the man.  There was a part of him who hated the thought of even having his money.  The only thing he wanted that belonged to John Sinclair was his daughter.  He wished Daniel hadn’t shown him her finances.  Enough money to live comfortably and bit extra to put away was a good thing.  Too much money could ruin lives. 

Both men looked up from their books at the knock on the door.

Charlie opened the door.
“I’ve finished packing my stateroom.  I thought if I won’t be bothering you too much, maybe I can start on this one.”

“Come on in.  We’re just looking over some of the books.  Since you’re the owner, you should probably be in here as well.”

“You want my owner speech?” she asked with a faux serious expression.  “Make me money!  More money for me means more money for you.  Buy low and sell high. Silks and spices are worth the distance you have to sail to get them. I’ll fire you if ever engage in slave trade.  Treat the men fair, but be firm.  Hire the best men for the money, but don’t be afraid to sack anyone who’s causing trouble.  You might want to get rid of some of that rum in the hold and go to New Orleans for some indigo before you head to Asia.”

“They don’t have indigo in China and India?”

“It’s a different variety.  It makes a different shade of blue than what they grow there.  They like our tobacco too.  It pleased me when President Jefferson purchased the Louisiana Territory from France.  Have you ever been to New Orleans?”

“We sailed there one summer with our grandfather.”

“Oh,” Charlie said with a grin.  It was exciting that they had been some of the same places.  “You should go sometime when it’s not so sweltering.  The mosquitoes are the size of hummingbirds in the summer.  Did you see any alligators?”

“We saw some in Florida,” Jaxon said pulling her onto his lap and kissing her.

“Charlie,” Daniel said drawing her attention away from Jaxon.  “Do you want to marry me instead?”

“He just found out how rich you are.”  Jaxon slipped his arm around her waist possessively.

“Am I rich?  I mean I’ve seen the numbers, but I don’t really have anything to compare them to other than the seaman’s wage or the cargo.  I’ve never priced a house or a horse or even a ship.  This is probably a stupid question, but is there a certain number that is the line between being wealthy or not?”

“If there was a line
, you’d be well over it.”

“Do I have more money than you?”

“Aye.”

“A lot more?”

Jaxon chuckled at the awe he heard in her voice. She had no idea how wealthy she was. “Aye, a lot more.”

Charlie became pensive.  She thought Ja
xon was rich with his large house and new sleek ship and his extravagant spending on her dresses.  And to know she had more money, bewildered her.  What did people do with so much money?

“Huh.  It doesn’t really change anything does it?  I mean
now that I know, I don’t want to sit around waiting for party invitations any more than I did yesterday.”

Charlie got up from Jaxon’s lap and pulled the quilt off the bunk and began folding it.

“My mother made this,” she said.  “It’s the only thing of hers we had.  Well, that and the miniature inside my father’s watch.  Would you like to see what she looked like?”

“Of course.”

“Daniel, my father’s watch is in the top drawer of his desk.”

Daniel opened the drawer and located the watch.  He opened it and looked at the small portrait before handing it to Jaxon.

“You favor her.”

“Do I?”

Jaxon looked at the portrait for a long moment.  “Aye, I can see the resemblance, too.  You have her coloring and her eyes.  Do you remember her?”

“Not really.  I have a few vague memories of being tucked into bed and eating at a table in a house, being in the kitchen and watching the housekeeper knead bread dough while my mother made me a little something to hold me ov
er until dinner.  That’s it—just a few unimportant moments.  When I try to remember her face, I just see the portrait.”

Jaxon noticed she unconsciously rubbed
the scar on her arm as she spoke of her mother and wondered if he should expect a nightmare tonight.  He knew she had not told him everything about the fire and wished they were alone so he could talk to her further.  Something told him, she had revealed more to him already, than she had told anyone else, but after speaking with Morty, he knew they had barely touched the tip of the iceberg.

“It’s strange the way the brain works.  The things you want to remember fade
, but the things you want to forget are vivid.”

“Aye.”

“It doesn’t help when you relive those moments at night.”

He saw the look of annoyance cross her expression.  In an instant, she had gone from being open to guarded.  Damn.  Why couldn’t he just keep his mouth shut?  Someday she would tell him when she was ready.  He couldn’t imagine what it was like to carry a secret like that.  She was responsible for the fire that killed her mother.  Was it any wonder she didn’t want to talk about it?

“I’m sorry, baby.  I don’t know why I said that I was just being an ass.”