An Officer but No Gentleman (18 page)

Grayson tapped his glass against hers, prompting her to take another sip.

“Absolutely,” he said reaching the decanter towards her and pouring more into her glass.

“Also, do you think there is any recourse to get my impressed men out of the British’s hands?”

“Your men?”

Charlie began the lengthy explanation sipping the Scotch as she spoke.  As she told him of the initial attack by the British, she found each time she thought of the upsetting details, she took a sip and Grayson was quick to refill it every time she set the glass down.

Charlie leaned her head back in the chair and realized suddenly how strong the Scotch was.  She had had way too much and was feeling drunk.

“That’s quite a fantastic story.”

“It’s all true,” Charlie said quickly realizing by his sarcastic tone Grayson didn’t believe her.  “And there’s more, but I’ll leave that for Jaxon to tell you.”

She wished that Jaxon would come back soon.  The alcohol was really getting to her and she didn’t want to be drunk right now.

“Oh, God, Imelia is coming and she’s going to find me here drunk.  What kind of first impression is that going to make?  Grayson, I’m not sure if you’re a scrupulous person.  You may look like Jaxon, but I suspect you’re not a man of character.”

Grayson laughed.  He sounded exactly like Jaxon.  “I’m just trying to figure out if
you
are a man of character, Charlie.  Here you are in my brother’s house after a very short acquaintance.  You are ensconced in here like you own the place and you and my brother are best of friends.”

Charlie rubbed her temple.  “This is going to be like Daniel all over again, isn’t it?  Daniel doesn’t like me much either.”

“But he’s coming around,” Jaxon said suddenly from the doorway.  He scowled at the pair of them.

Charlie jumped up from her chair and ran over to him.  She put her arms around his neck and kissed him long and hard.  “Grayson thinks I’m a man,” she whispered in his ear as they parted.

Jaxon looked past her to his twin.  The look of shock was priceless.  He laughed so hard at his brother’s expression that it was almost worth it to come home and find her drunk. 

Jaxon took her by the hand back to the wing chair.  He sat down then pulled her into his lap.  She fell with squeal.

“I see you’ve met my black-hearted brother,” he said to her.  “And you’ve met my Charlie,” he said to Grayson.  “I’ve barely been gone half an hour and I come back to find my fiancée is drunk with the brother who has stolen every girl I ever liked.  Well, this one you can’t have.”

“You’re a girl?”
Grayson was genuinely surprised. He had no inkling that Charlie was female.

“Poor Grayson, you should have seen your face when I kissed your brother.  I didn’t know someone’s face could go from white to scarlet so quickly.  It serves you right for refilling my glass every time I
set it down.”

A smile graced Grayson’s countenance.  “When we were kids, Jax would do stupid or dangerous things just to see if I’d follow.  I almost thought he was testing me again.”

“It’s a good thing you came back when you did,” Charlie said closing her eyes and leaning her head against his.  “But I’m afraid I’m in no condition to go to the dressmaker with your sister now.”

“That’s why I came back.  Imelia can’t take you today.  Her children are sick.”

“Oh, you haven’t seen your aunt yet?” Charlie asked.

“Not yet.”

“I told Grayson.  I hope that’s all right.”

“Jax, why don’t you put Charlie to bed and I’ll go with you,” said Grayson.

“You feel like sleeping it off, baby?”

“Very much so.”

“If you’ll excuse us for a few minutes, Gray.”

Charlie reluctantly vacated Jaxon’s lap and waited for him.  He threw his arm around her shoulders and slowly they made their way to second story.

“I’m not usually such a lightweight,” she said, trying carefully not to slur her words.

“You barely touched your breakfast and that was hours ago.  And that Scotch is very strong.  I nearly became foxed myself just from kissing you,” he said leading her into his room.  “Sleep in my room for now, baby.  The other rooms aren’t made up.”

“I suppose I should be glad you have scruples.  Because you could very much take advantage of my condition.  I would absolutely let you have your way with me right now even with your brother downstairs waiting for you.”

He kissed her forehead.  “Charlie, when we make love for the first time, you’re going to be stone cold sober because you won’t want your senses dulled with alcohol.  And I’m not going to be rushed because someone is waiting on me.  I’m going to take my time
, so you will enjoy and savor every moment.  And we are going to be alone in this house, so you won’t have to feel self-conscious that anyone else will hear us.  We’re going to let the headboard bang against the wall and the bed ropes can creak and if you want to raise the rafters with your screams, so be it.”

“Stop teasing me.”

A wide smile crossed his face. It was slightly lopsided because the scar on his cheek resisted the movement.  “Who’s teasing?”

“That’s a lot to live up to.”

“Have you ever known me to exaggerate?”

“Time will tell.”

“Minx.  Get into bed.”  He gave her another chaste kiss on the forehead.  “Imelia is getting together a change of clothes for you.  I’m going to pick them up on the way home.”

“Girl clothes?”

He loved seeing her get excited.  “Aye, and maybe if you’re feeling more yourself when you get up, I’ll take you to the dressmaker myself.”

“Jaxon Bloodworthy, I love you.  You make me so happy.”

She grabbed his lapel, pulled him toward her and kissed him in a soft, languid embrace.

“Charlie,” his voice rasped.  “I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

Jaxon sat beside his brother in the rented buggy seat.  Grayson had taken the reins and Jaxon sat with his arms folded across his chest.

“I can’t believe you got her drunk.”

“I didn’t know Charlie was a girl.”

Jaxon looked at Grayson like he was insane completely ignoring the fact that he had been fooled the first time he met her. “How could you not know?”

“For starters, she wore trousers.”
              “If you didn’t know she was female, why get her drunk?  You were up to your old tricks.”

“I swear I wasn’t.
I was trying to get
him
talking about why he was in your house calling you by your given name.  He wasn’t being forthcoming so I thought I’d ply him with a little Scotch.”

“A little?”

Grayson’s shoulders sagged as he sighed.  “I’m sorry, I didn’t know.”

They drove on further before Jaxon spoke again.  “If you try anything with her, I promise you’ll regret it.”

Grayson didn’t turn his head. Although they were better about not fighting now that they were grown, there was still a tension between them that was never far below the surface. They both had conflicting feeling about the other one. They might love each other, but Grayson always felt the sting of rejection from Jaxon. He had tried so hard to be friends with Jaxon as they grew up, but Jaxon hated being identical and by default blamed Grayson. Eventually Gray got tired of being cast aside and did what he could to make Jaxon’s life miserable.

“When we were kids, those girls kissed me because they thought I was you.  I don’t think that’ll work anymore.”

“You know that’s not the point. 
You
knew you weren’t me.”

“And you always blamed the girls as much as you blamed me.”

“They should have known who they were kissing.”

Jaxon shook his head.  He couldn’t believe after all these years what happened as kids still bothered him.

“We looked exactly alike.”

“But our personalities are so different.  Those were girls we knew all our lives and they couldn’t tell us apart.”

“And you think this girl is different?  Do you think without the limp and scars she could tell us apart?” Grayson asked.  “I guarantee if we blindfolded her and each kissed her or spoke to her she wouldn’t know who was who.”

“Damn it, Grayson, leave off.  I’m not playing this game with you.”

If Grayson heard the warning and irritation in his brother’s voice, he ignored it. “You’re not even curious?”

“What I’m curious about
, is why you always steal my girls instead of finding one of your own.”

“I’ve got to have one thing I’m better at than you,” Grayson said with a shrug.

“Grayson,” Jax gritted out.  “I can see the clockworks turning in your brain.  Heed this warning:  I already beat up my favorite brother over Charlie.  You, I might kill.  If you think I’m playing games, try me.”

“You beat up Daniel?  What did he do?”

“He tried to keep us apart.”

18

Breaking the news of Jimmy’s demise was the hardest thing Jaxon had ever done.  To know that Aunt Pru left Jimmy in his care, and not to have brought him home, gnawed at Jaxon.  Jimmy was eighteen, just a year older than Levi.  His life had barely begun.  Jaxon and Gray’s mother sent the field hands to fetch the preacher and the other children home from school and work.

Jaxon had been there three hours when everything began settling down.  The memorial service date was set, the church calendar checked and the worship hall reserved, news sent to the newspaper, and all the family informed.  Jax patiently waited for an opportunity to speak to his aunt alone.  Finally
, he was able to be alone with her on the porch.  She sat in the rocker and he leaned against the railing.

“Aunt Pru, I know this is a horrible time for me to bring this up.  I’ve done something I am terribly ashamed of
, and I’d like to tell you about it before you hear it from any of my crewmembers.  I don’t know if you’ll ever be able to forgive me, but I’m going to ask for your forgiveness, and then I’m going ask you for a favor.”

“My heavens, Jaxon.  Surely, it’s not that bad.”

Jaxon raked his hand through his hair.  “I already told you that this accident happened while we fought a French corsair.  What I didn’t tell you about was the other ship, an American merchant vessel called the
Arcadia
.  We found out afterwards, an English warship had disabled this ship earlier in the day and except for a single cannon, it was completely defenseless.  The corsair attacked the
Arcadia
and we attacked the corsair.  Afterwards, the second mate from the merchant ship came aboard our ship to help with our wounded.  Charlie has had medical training from a doctor.

“While Charlie helped with our wounded
, the
Arcadia
set sail.  We didn’t know if it was intentional or accidental, but I was happy to have a loblolly boy, so I offered Charlie a job.  Two hours later, we saw Charlie’s ship coming back.  I took Charlie’s uniform and dressed Jimmy’s body it and his body was given to the
Arcadia
and told he was their second mate.  All this so I could keep our new surgeon’s mate.”

“You didn’t bury him at sea yourself?”

“No ma’am.  We had a memorial service for him.  Jimmy was well loved by the whole crew.  But no, it was left up to strangers to inter his body.”

“I’m glad you are ashamed of yourself, Jaxon, because you should be,” Pru snapped.

“I am.  After losing Jimmy, I wasn’t really thinking clearly.  I didn’t know how I could I prevent anyone else from dying on my watch?”

“I hope it was worth it.  This loblolly boy couldn’t save Jimmy. What makes you sure he has the skills to save anyone?”

“Aunt Pru, I don’t think Jimmy could have been saved by a real doctor, but Charlie’s at my townhouse if you should like to talk to her.”

“Her?”  Aunt Pru jumped on the pronoun immediately.

“As it turns out, aye, Charlie is a woman.  And I am madly in love with her.  I’m afraid my conduct with Charlie had also been lacking at times.  She has been sharing my cabin on the ship and since everyone makes the assumption we’ve had our wedding night already, we think it would be best if we were married as soon as possible.  I know polite society dictates a long mourning period for Jimmy before we have a wedding. I would like to ask your permission to get married in a month’s time.  We’d like to keep it small, just family and the ship’s crew, but if you prefer, we can elope and have a wedding elsewhere with just the two of us.”

Aunt Pru stood up.  “Jaxon,” she said putting delicate hands on his cheeks.  “I am so happy for you.  Although I do not like what you did with Jimmy’s body, I know it was just a
n empty shell and since there was no way he could have been brought home, his body ultimately ended up in the sea.  So I am going to forgive you.  And I am going to grant permission for you to get married when you are ready.”

“Thank you Aunt Pru.”

“What did your mother say when you told her?”

“She doesn’t know yet.”

Pru’s eyebrow shot up as she dropped her hands to her side.  “Betsy!” she yelled into the open window.

Moments later
, Jaxon’s mother came running out of the house followed by cousins and siblings who were alerted by Pru’s raised voice.

“What’s the matter?”

“Tell her, Jaxon.”

“This is hardly the appropriate time.”

“Nonsense.  When you get to be my age, you’ll learn that we can’t let tragedy get in the way of living our lives.  Jimmy wouldn’t have wanted that. Tell your mother.”

Jaxon glanced around at the small crowd of relatives before his eyes settled on
his mother.  “I’ve met someone. We’re getting married.”

He saw his mother’s look of concern chang
e to surprise and then joy.  “Where is she?  When can we meet her?  How did you meet her?  Oh, Jaxon, that is the best news we’ve had since Imelia’s baby was born.”

“You can meet her in a few days.  She doesn’t want to meet anyone until she has some dresses to wear.”

“Nonsense! We don’t care if she’s wearing last year’s fashions.”  Betsy said.

Jaxon didn’t feel the need to correct his mother’s assumption.  “Well, she does, Mother, and I would appreciate it if you would respect her wishes.  And speaking of Charlie.”

“Charlie?” Betsy interrupted.

“I’m sure it’s short for Charlotte or Charlene, Mother.  But speaking of Charlie, she was not feeling well when I left.”  He cast a caustic glare over his mother’s shoulder to Grayson who was standing in the doorframe.  “I’d like to go check on her.  And before anyone starts rumors
, she is not in a family way.”

“Oh, Jaxon how could you say that in front of the children.  No one would think such a thing.”

“Since she is staying with me and we’re planning to wed within the month, I would imagine most everyone will think that.”  Jaxon looked at his relatives and wished he were having this conversation in a more private setting.

“Then she should stay with me and the children until the wedding,” his mother said. 

“Or at my house,” Grayson added for the sole purpose of aggravating Jaxon.

Other than give Gray a dirty look, Jaxon ignored him.  “Mother, one of the reasons we’re rushing to the altar is because she has been sharing my cabin since she came aboard my ship. I think if we could resist temptation in such tight quarters, I think we can resist when we have separate rooms.”

“But her reputation….”

“Is already damaged.  And frankly, I don’t think either of us cares what the gossipmongers have to say.”

Jaxon hated to see his mother frowning at him, but he was not going to back down.  He had long ago stopped worrying about what society thought when he realized they would never fully accept him as one of their own again.  He kissed his mother on the cheek. 

“Charlie’s lived at sea nearly her whole life.  She needs something familiar around her and for now that something is me.”

“I’ll have Mrs. Reed make up a basket of food to take with you,” his aunt said.

“Thank you, Aunt Pru.”

“Gray, I’ll leave the buggy so you can take Mother home.  Can you see that it gets back to the livery in town?”

“Jaxon, you don’t need to walk that far on that leg of yours.  Take one of the saddle horses.  I’ll send one of the farm hands after it later.”

“Thank you, Aunt Pru.”

Between the two baskets, one of food and the other with the clothing Imelia sent for Charlie, and his bad leg, Jaxon nearly lost his balance dismounting when his foot hung in the stirrup.  He ended up bending his leg further than the damaged muscle could comfortably accommodate.

Charlie knew something was wrong the moment she saw the tight-lipped and pale expression on Jaxon’s face.

“Are you all right?  What’s happened?”  She thought he might have gotten in a fight with Grayson.

“Aunt Pru sent food and my sister sent clothes.”  He did not answer her question
, but raised the baskets.  “Which do you want first?”

Charlie was like a kid in a candy store.  Her eyes were as wide as her smile.

Jaxon set down the food and handed her the dress.  “I told her you needed it all.  I hope she didn’t forget anything.”

“I wouldn’t know if she did,” Charlie laughed.

“Run upstairs and put them on.”

She got as far as the doorway when it occurred to her she might need help.  She turned mid-step
, but froze when she saw Jaxon holding his leg and grimacing with his eyes closed.

“Jaxon!”

He tried to straighten up and hide his expression.

“What happened?”

“My foot hung in the stirrup when I was dismounting.  It’s that old injury.  I’ll be fine in a minute.  Maybe some willow bark tea might be in order—after you’ve tried on the dress.”

“Do you want to do this down here or go upstairs?”

“Do what?”

“I want to look at your leg, see what we’re working with here.”

He brushed her concern aside. “There’s nothing to see, but the old injury.  What hurts now are the muscles around it.”

“Jaxon, I’m not going to argue with you about this.  You are going to take off your pants and let me see your leg.  Your only choice is whether we do it upstairs in your room or down here.”

“God, you’re bossy.”

“It’s a trait my father cultivated in me,” she said tartly.  “Now drop your pants.”

“Vixen.” Jaxon put his hand on her arm and cast a seductive at her.

“Stop trying to distract me.  Drop ‘em.”

When Charlie put her hands on her hips with the stubborn and determined look on her face, he knew there was no point in arguing. It was going to be like the willow bark tea incident. She was not going to quit until she wore him down. “Let’s go upstairs.  I don’t trust my family to abide by my wishes to wait a few days to meet you.”

“Do you want me to help you?”

“It’s not that bad.”

“Fine.  You go upstairs and take your pants off.   I’m going to the galley to heat up some water for a bath for you to soak in.  The warm water will soothe those muscles.  Holy cow, I’ve never seen a bathtub that big before.  How much water will that thing hold?”

“You’ll need every big pan in there. And more. Let me help you.”

“No, I’ll do this.  Where do you keep your flint?"

“In a box on the mantle.”

Charlie was nearly ou
t of the door when she stopped. “Where’s the galley?”

“The kitchen is down the hall and through the dining room. The woodpile’s behind the house.”

“The scuttlebutt?”

He smiled at her wondering if she was intentionally using nautical terms or if she didn’t know the difference.  “I have an indoor pump in my kitchen.  You’ll see it.”

She smiled back at him.  “Fancy.”

It was slow going for Charlie in the kitchen.  Although her father had made sure she knew how to build a fire, it was something she rarely had to do.  When she emerged to retrieve the doctor’s bag for the willow bark
, she noticed Jaxon had gone upstairs.  She quickly boiled enough tea for them both to have a cup since she was suffering a headache as a result of her recent encounter with Grayson and the decanter of Scotch.

“Sorry i
t took so long,” she said when she got upstairs with the tea.  “It was my first time in a house kitchen.”

“Hangover?” he asked noticing she had her own cup of the bitter brew.

“I don’t think I like Scotch much.”

In unison
, they threw back the tea and gulped it down as quickly as possible.

“You’re still dressed.”

“Are you sure about this?”

“Sure about what?”

“Seeing my leg.  It’s pretty ugly.”

“We’re going to be married in a month.  There’s not
a square inch on your body I do not intend to become personally acquainted with,” she said casting a coy smile at him.

He gave her a small kiss on the cheek. “You keep talking like that and I’ll be embarrassing both of us.”

“You mean you’ll get hard?”

“Charlie! I can’t believe you said that, much less know that.”

She shrugged. “Men don’t curtail their speech when amongst themselves.  I’ve heard it all—and seen it all.  It was the only thing my father could not control.”

Jaxon thought about what it must have been like for her growing up.  If the crew had known she was female, they would have made some effort to shield her
, but they weren’t given that opportunity.  Seaman thought little of nudity—they were crammed into the forecastle with no privacy at all.  Even bodily functions were most often taken care of in full view, over the side of the ship.  She would have been exposed to naked men her whole life.  What was probably traumatic to her at first, undoubtedly seemed quite commonplace for her now.  It made him a bit melancholy to think she wouldn’t learn about the male body in their marriage bed.