An Officer but No Gentleman (16 page)

“More orders?”

“I haven’t even begun ordering you around.”  She smiled at him.  “Drink your willow bark tea.  That’s an order!”

15

On most ships there was no doctor or even a loblolly boy to help with the medical needs of the crew.  For some reason that task often fell to the cook.  Charlie wondered if it was because their knives were washed regularly or because most herbs needed to be boiled to make a poultice.  She had met more than a handful of cooks from other ships call “Doc” by their crew.  That was probably why on
The Dragon’s Lair
the cabinet with the medical supplies was located in the galley.  It was surprisingly well stocked with sheets of material for the bandages, thin sturdy boards for splints, operating supplies and a variety of herbs.  It was the herbs Charlie came to examine.  She brought one of the medical books and a lantern into the dark galley looking for an herb to help with the infection.  She looked at the dried stalk of leaves and compared it to the supplemental hand-drawn sketches.  Many she recognized on sight, several she had to identify.  Once she was sure what she had, she looked up its use. 

“Miss?”

Charlie nearly jumped out of her skin.  “Oh, you scared me.”

“What are you doing in my galley
in the middle of the night?” the cook asked.

“I’m sorry to wake you.  I was trying to be quiet.  Captain Bloodworthy’s wound is showing signs of infection.  I want to make a poultice to draw out the infection.”

The cook rubbed his face.  “I guess you need me to get a fire stoked.”

“I can do it myself if you want to go back to bed.”

“I couldn’t sleep with someone poking around in my galley.”

“In the future, I’ll try to make sure this is done at a decent hour.”
              The gruff man nodded. “Some things can’t be helped.”

“Aye,” she agreed.  “I’m still looking for the right herbs.  If you’ll put a pint of wate
r on the heat, I should have it figured out by the time it’s boiling.”

“Aye, miss.”

Within a few minutes, Charlie had the poultice complete.  The cook insisted on escorting her back to Jaxon’s cabin as he felt she shouldn’t be roaming around the ship alone at night.  She was glad for the help since her hands were full.

Charlie thanked him and locked the door after he left.

Jaxon had kicked off the covers again.  He went to bed after they ate, completely intent on getting up after a brief nap, and was sleeping through the night.  He was fully dressed except his bare feet so Charlie needed to get his shirt at least unbuttoned and untucked to put the poultice on the wound.  She sat on the edge of the bed and began unbuttoning his shirt.  She tried not to wake him.  If he didn’t need the extra sleep to fight the infection, he wouldn’t be sleeping this long.  Gingerly, she pushed each button out of its hole until it was unbuttoned to the waist.  Slow as a snail, she began pulling the shirttail out of his breeches.

“Charlie?” Jax said sleepily.  “I really imagined I’d be awake for our first time.”

He reached for the buttons of her shirt and she slapped at his hands.

“What makes you think there will be a first time?” 

“How else are we going to have lots of babies?”

Charlie schooled her smile.  The thought of having babies with Jaxon fascinated her
, but she knew the fever was talking.

“I promise if there is a first time, you’re going to be awake for it.  But right now, I just want to put a poultice on your injury.”  She finished pulling the shirttail out and unfastened the last buttons.

Taking the large bandage with the softened golden seal and slippery elm bark, she tested it to make sure it had cooled enough not to burn him and laid it over the wound.  To keep the heat in, she set a folded towel over the bandage then brought him another cup of willow bark tea.  Placing a hand behind his head, she helped him sit up enough to drink the tea.

“Ugh.  Are you sure you’re not sitting awake at night thinking up mean things to do to me?” he asked making a face at the bitterness of the brew.

“I don’t need to lie awake and think up mean things.  I’ve got plenty of time during the day,” she said tartly.  “At night, I mostly worry.”

“You’re worried about me?”

“I’m worried about a lot of things and, aye, you are among them.  I mean, how would it look if I couldn’t heal the man who hired me?”

“I see.  You’re more worried about appearances than you are about me.”

Her eyes met his briefly.  “That’s not what I meant at all.  You’re turning my words around.”

“So you
are
worried about me?”

Charlie didn’t want to answer him, not just because she was so confused about how she felt, but because she knew her feelings for him were not returned.  She felt as if he were trying to set her up for some cruel joke. 

“Aye.”  She couldn’t meet his eyes.

“So, you care for me?”

“You are my patient.  Of course, I care.”

If she’d looked up, she would have seen that he did not like the way she justified her answer.

“Do you…love me?”

“Why are you making fun of me?  Do you think it’s funny that I have feelings for you?  I know you are a man of the world and I know so little of it.  Do I love you?  I don’t know.  I’ve never been in love before.  All I know is I can’t stop thinking about you and the way you kissed me and the way you touched me.”

“You said you loved Morty,” he reminded her.

“It’s not the same.”

“So you don’t think about his kisses and his touch.”

“It’s not the same.”

He frowned at that.  He wanted to hear her say, Morty neither kissed her nor touched her, but for her to say they were not the same meant Morty
had
kissed her and touched her.

She could tell he didn’t like her answer and wondered if he was jealous.  But she wasn’t ready to admit to him what she hadn’t yet admitted to herself.  “His kisses don’t make my knees weak.  His touch doesn’t make the world disappear.”

“And mine does?” Jaxon asked astonishment in his voice.

She looked at him through her lashes.  His smile took her breath away.

“Aye,” she said, shyly.

“So you admit you love me?” he asked hopefully.

“No, I’m not admitting anything.”

“You love your Morty
, but not me?” His tone became gruff.

“Can we please not talk about Morty?”

“Answer my question.”

Frustrated, Charlie lashed out.  “Damn it, Jaxon!  It’s not the same.  You’re asking me to compare two different things.  You’re asking me to compare the feel of silk to the taste of pie.  I love both
, but they don’t compare.”

“So you do love me?”

“Stop making fun of me.”

He could hear the frustration in her voice.  “Why do you think I’m making fun of you?” he asked gently.

“Because you know I like you more than you like me.  I keep throwing myself at you and you keep pushing me away.  I’m not stupid.”

Jaxon let his head fall back on the pillow.  This was not going the way he wanted.  He needed her to tell him because he wanted to tell her he loved her back
, but she wasn’t ready to say the words he read in her eyes. 

Damn it, maybe Daniel was right.  Maybe this was like Millie Adams again.  Maybe he was just seeing what he wanted to see.  That was why it was important for her to say it first
, so he could see his feelings were returned and it wasn’t just in his head. 

“Don’t mistake my restraint for not caring.  I’m trying to do the right thing and not take advantage of you.”

Charlie crossed the room and poured herself some water and took a couple of sips.  “Jax, you need your sleep if you’re going to heal.”

“You need to get some sleep
, too.”

She turned out the lantern
, but went back to the chair rather than get in the hammock.

“Do you want to share the bunk?”

Remembering the humiliation of being kicked out of it the last time, she declined.

“I’m still on duty.  I’ll sleep after your fever breaks.”

16

Jaxon’s fever broke before sunrise.  He woke up feeling better than he had since he was injured.  C
harlie had been up most of the night.  Now that Jaxon was truly on the mend, she wanted nothing more than to climb into her hammock for a few hours, but he convinced her to wait until after breakfast.  He scooped up her hand in his and kissed the back of her hand and didn’t let go of it until he pulled out the dining room chair for her.  Daniel, his face still bruised and swollen, was already seated at the table and stood up while Charlie was being seated.

Jaxon leaned over and whispered in his brother’s ear.

“The deed is done.”

He had convinced himself
if Daniel believed he had bedded Charlie, Daniel would understand his interference would be moot.  Jaxon knew in his heart, if things were allowed to progress naturally, he and Charlie would eventually marry, assuming she would accept when he proposed.  But he had to get Daniel to butt out. 

Jaxon took his place between Charlie and Daniel and picked up his cup of coffee.

Daniel narrowed his eyes at them as looked back and forth between the pair making Charlie wonder what exactly Jaxon had said to him.

“How are you this morning, Charlie?

“Tired mostly.  I didn’t get much sleep last night.  Jaxon kept me up nearly all night.”

Jaxon choked on his coffee.  When his coughing subsided
, Daniel stood up and began hitting the hilt of his knife on the table until the crew turned to him and quieted.

“The captain has just informed me that he and Charlie have decided to wed at the earliest possible opportunity.  Keep a lively watch for sails so that they do not have to wait ‘til we get back to shore.”

“Three cheers!” someone shouted.  “Hip, hip…”

“Hoorah!” the men cheered in unison.

“Hip, hip….”

“Hoorah!”

“Hip, hip….”

“Hoorah!”

Jaxon’s look shot daggers at Daniel.  Reluctantly, he stood up and pulled Charlie to her feet as well.

“Thank you,” Jax began.  “Charlie and I are extremely pleased to have you be the first to know of our future marriage.  No one is more surprised than we are at this turn of events.  When
The Dragon’s Lair
set sail to seek our fortunes as privateers, this was certainly not the treasure I was seeking.  But I would not trade this woman for all the riches in the world.

“However, despite what my brother has said,” Jax continued. “Charlie has expressed her wishes to not be wed while wearing breeches, so we would prefer to wait until we are ashore to get married.  You are all invited to the nuptials.”

Jaxon turned to Charlie.  He wore an uneasy grin.  His eyebrows lifted as he lowered his mouth to hers.  His kiss was lingering and deep and Charlie couldn’t help, but respond as whoops from the crew faded from her ears and were replaced by the sound of her blood rushing through her veins.  She was unaware that anyone was still in the room as her breathing increased.  Her fingers wove into his hair preventing him from breaking the embrace.

“Leave off,” Daniel said into his brother’s ear.  “Save some for the wedding night.”

Jaxon took Charlie’s wrist and gently pulled it away until he could break the embrace.  Her eyes fluttered open, languidly.  Then suddenly, remembering where they were, her eyes darted around the room and she quickly sat down and turned beet red.

During their meal, Charli
e fixed a smile on her face she didn’t feel, knowing they were the topic of many conversations.  She had no idea what just happened, but was stunned out of her gourd over the whole matter.  Instinctively, she knew Jaxon was as taken off guard as she and that Daniel was to blame for this.  Jaxon and Charlie only ate half of the food on their plates before getting up to leave.

“In my quarters,” Jaxon gritted out in Daniel’s ear as they left the table.

Jax paced the floor
of his cabin.  “Charlie, I don’t know what to say.  I didn’t know he would do that. This is my fault. I just thought….  Damn.”

He raked his fingers through his hair. Jaxon took her by the hand and led her to the bunk.  It was the only place they could sit together without moving the chairs around.

“This is not the way I wanted to do this, but Daniel has forced my hand.  Charlie, will you marry me?”

“You’re asking me to marry you because Daniel told everyone we were getting married?”

“I’m asking you
now
because of that.  But I had already decided to ask although I intended to wait a more respectable amount of time.”

Charlie paled.

“Do you want time to think about it?” Jaxon asked, worried her pallor was an indication of her answer.

“No,” she said.  “I don’t need to think about it.”  Charlie couldn’t look at him.  She kept her eyes on their clasped hands.  She felt the tears spilling over her lashes and the lump in her throat.

“Oh, baby.  Don’t cry. I’m sorry this isn’t a romantic proposal with flowers and a long talk with your father.”

She couldn’t help it.  Charlie had always assumed she would be alone her whole life, sitting in the captain’s quarters of the
Arcadia
, pretending to be someone she wasn’t.  There was no hope of ever finding love.  Charlie frowned.  He never said he loved her.

“Do you think you might grow to love me?” she asked.

Jaxon silently cursed himself when he realized he had not told her how he felt.  People married for all sorts of reasons, but a love match was what every woman wanted.  He raised her face to meet his.

“Charlie, I have been in love with you since the moment I saw you in my bed wrapped in the bed sheet.  Or maybe it was when you didn’t back down even though you were nearly naked.  And when we kissed the first time, I knew I would ask you to marry me.”

When she looked down again, Jaxon’s brow worried and he knew she was going to refuse him. Charlie always made eye contact with him, but now she couldn’t do it. Now, Jaxon silently cursed Daniel for making him do this before Charlie was ready and cursed himself for telling him he had bedded her. Daniel should have known it wasn’t true because Jaxon wasn’t the kind of man to brag about that sort of thing. And now Charlie was crying.

“This is hard for me. All my life I have been told not to think like a girl or have emotions like a girl. I know you don’t understand what my life was like aboard the
Arcadia
. How could you? I am used to being treated like one of the men. I’m not demure or coquettish and I would be a terrible wife because I don’t know the first thing about life on land or marriage. But I am not a man and all I ever wanted was to be in love with someone who loved me back.  This is all I ever wanted, but I am not prepared for it.  I don’t know the things girls know and you will have to be patient with me while I learn.”

“Is that a yes?” Jaxon interrupted.

“Aye, of course.”

“So you do love me too?”

“Aye.”

Jaxon was about to kiss her when Daniel knocked and let himself in.

“Damn it, Daniel,” Jax shouted shooting to his feet. “You can’t just walk into my cabin when Charlie’s here.”

“You ordered….” Daniel stopped midsentence when he saw the tears streaming down Charlie’s face.  “What did you do, Jaxon?  Did you tell her you aren’t going to marry her?  By God, I’ll see he does right by you, Charlie.”  His hands were clenched into fists.

Charlie jumped between them before anyone could throw a punch.

“Daniel, you dolt.  I thought since you announced to the whole crew we were getting
married; maybe Charlie might like to be asked.  She was accepting my proposal when you barged in.”

“Oh.” Daniel’s tensed frame relaxed. “Don’t you think you should have done that before you bedded her?”

“I haven’t bedded her, Daniel.  I just told you I did, so you’d leave off.  Stupidly, I assumed if you thought the deed was done, you’d stop trying to keep us apart.”

Charlie turned to Jaxon.  “You told him that?”  She turned back to Daniel.  “To set the record straight, I told him the first night I wouldn’t be his mistress.  But I’m an adult and what we do is none of your concern.”

“You didn’t?”

“No, brother, we didn’t.  And now because of your meddling, you have rushed us exactly where
you
didn’t want us.”  Jaxon moved up behind Charlie and wrapped his arms around her waist.  “I’m actually rather pleased with this turn of events.”  He kissed her neck.  “Do you want to set the date, Charlie?  How does one week after we get back sound?”

“Not as good as one month.  Can you wait that long?”

“Aye.  I’ll wait for you as long as it takes.”