An Ever Fixéd Mark (62 page)

“It was everything she ever wanted. She only
loved monsters. She loved Horace. She loved Charlotte. And she
loved Ben. She only loved the ones who used her and mistreated her.
That’s what she … that’s what you want, Lizzie. That’s why you
never dated anyone else. You were waiting for us, because you knew
no one else would be as exciting or thrilling. And after that you
couldn’t go back, could you? Even your doctor had something to do
with vampires. Don’t tell me this isn’t what you or Lily wanted.
It’s all you’ve ever wanted.”

Lizzie stared at him. Did he know about
Claire Chamberlain? There was something about his stare that
implied he knew everything. He knew about Eric. How? How did he
know these things? Was he that clever? Or did he follow her? He
knew enough to show up one day at the coffee shop when she and
Andrew hadn’t signed a lease. He knew her time at the marathon to
be there when she finished. He knew when she would go back to her
apartment from Ben’s. He knew where Ben lived. He knew… he knew all
about her.

“But I love Ben,” she whimpered as her
confidence drained from her.

“I loved Charlotte,” he answered. “I was
blinded by that love.”

She shut her eyes and drew in a breath. She
saw Ben standing over Lily’s lifeless body and walking away. She
saw a girl with red curly hair lying in the mud with blood crusted
at her throat. She saw the unmarked grave and the lime falling over
her body. She saw Ben take her gloved hand…

“Eloise wasn’t Lily,” Lizzie opened her eyes
wide.

“You said you remembered.”

“I remembered that she had red hair,” Lizzie
took back her hand and stood up from her chair. “I… I was there.
But I wasn’t her.”

Oliver shook his head slowly and then
quickly as if pushing the argument out of his mind. “That girl was
Lily. Charlotte told me.”

“She told you because she knew you were
still angry at Lily. You didn’t know about the baby. You still
blamed her for … you still believed she was going to leave you. You
wanted to punish her through that helpless child. Charlotte knew
you hated Lily. She wanted to protect Lily and let her… let her go
to Ben.”

“Charlotte hated Lily as much as…”

“But she loved her, too. She told… she told
Maria what you both were. She told her long before Ben ever knew
she knew. She knew Maria was Lily and sent you after Eloise.”

“No,” Oliver shook his head.

“Yes,” Lizzie nodded her head as the
thoughts became clear in her head. “Maria didn’t understand. She
never fully understood, but she loved Ben.”

“He’s been filling your head with this.”

“Ben knows nothing about this. He…” Lizzie
froze as she saw Oliver’s eyes. They had the anger she once saw in
Ben’s eyes, but not the struggle for restraint. “Oliver, please.
I’m sorry. But you should know. You have to… Lily came back to him,
not you.”

“She loved me.”

“She loved the boy. Her friend, Tom. He
died. You became… you became like Charlotte when Lily died. Ben
became human again. He lost the monster and you became it,” Lizzie
explained as she walked slowly away from him. She left her cell
phone in her office. Why hadn’t she kept it in her pocket?

“
Why did you let him
manipulate you again?” he followed her slow steps, shortening the
distance between them.

“
Oliver, you are the one…
please go.”

“
Lizzie… he doesn’t… he
can’t love you like I do.”

“He doesn’t.”

“He isn’t the one you are meant to be
with.”

“He loves me. Elizabeth Watson. Not the
ghosts of his past.”

“Lizzie…”

“He didn’t leave me dying.”

“No,” he protested, almost desperate.

“I don’t want you here,” she rushed towards
the staircase. She flew up the stairs to her office. She couldn’t
find the phone on her desk. Where was it? She raced down the
hallway to the bedroom. She went to the dresser and looked through
her purse.

“Lizzie, you can’t mean that,” he entered
the bedroom.

She trembled as she took her next breath.
There wasn’t anything in that room with which she could defend
herself. “Please,” she lost the force of her voice. He came closer
towards her, backing her against the furniture. “She didn’t want
you, Oliver,” Lizzie snarled. “She wanted you to kill her.”

“She wanted the baby to die,” Oliver shook
his head. “She came back to me.”

“No,” Lizzie looked up and glared. “She did
not.”

“Lizzie,” he reached out to grasp the back
of her head. “You want this. I know you feel obligated to Ben… but
you gave yourself freely and willingly to me. How can you tell me
now that this isn’t what you want?”

“Because you left me to die. Because you
don’t care about hurting me.”

He dropped his hand. “Don’t you understand,
Lizzie? I… I want you to be like me. I want you to be with me
forever. Not as Lily. As you are now… as Lizzie.”

“I don’t want to go on forever,” Lizzie felt
the pressure of the wood against her back as she heard the door
open and shut from downstairs. “I want to be human.”

“You would be human. I am human.”

“No, Oliver. YOU are not human.”

Oliver grasped her shoulders and forced a
kiss on her lips. He pulled back and looked at her helplessly.
“Doesn’t that make you feel human?”

Lizzie felt her eyes fill with tears,
wondering where Ben went if he really entered. “It terrifies
me.”

“Of course it terrifies you,” Oliver slid
his hands down along her arms, grasping her fingers. “The things
that frighten us are the most worthwhile.”

“Not this time,” Lizzie raised her hands to
push him away.

He pushed her back, holding her in place
against the dresser. She felt the speed of her heart increase as he
pressed against her. “Lizzie,” he caressed her neck and bent down
to kiss it.

Lizzie looked over his shoulder, hoping a
shadow would appear in the doorway. Where was Ben? Maybe she
imagined the door. She was still alone. By herself. He could
overpower her and force her down and take her clean healthy blood.
She moved her chin and forced his kiss away from her neck to her
lips. He relaxed his pressure, allowing her to reach behind and
grab her purse. She swung it at his head and pulled herself away.
“Leave!” she shouted so Ben would hear her.

“No,” Oliver grabbed her again. He raised
his arm almost too quickly for her to see it. She felt the pain
strike across her face and force her to the ground. She hit the
floor hard and thought she should get up and run, run from the
room, run from the apartment… but a sudden movement startled her
from that thought. Ben pushed Oliver to the ground beside her.

“Elizabeth, go,” Ben urged as Oliver shoved
him back to the other side of the room.

Lizzie stood as though she were made of
clay. She couldn’t go or run as she planned. She saw Ben grab a
chair and force it against Oliver. Oliver pushed it back. He was
stronger than Ben. He was going to hurt Ben. He could kill Ben. But
Ben was quick. He moved away from the chair as it shattered the
mirror in the room. He went to Lizzie and pushed her into the
hallway, guiding her quickly back down the staircase.

“Take my car and go. Go somewhere he can’t
find you. Go now!”

“No,” Lizzie shook her head as Oliver
grabbed Ben from behind. Ben shoved his elbow into Oliver’s gut and
tripped him as he lost momentum. Oliver recovered and got up
quickly, slamming a fist down on his head. Lizzie froze, suddenly
aware of their strength and their anger, unleashed after years of
restraint. One of them was going to die. She knew that was the only
way it was going to end.

The impulse filled her before the thought
registered completely. She went back upstairs to the closet in her
office. She found a box of things from Jefferson Park. She knew it
was in there. She heard another crash from downstairs, causing her
hand to shake as she moved the contents of the box around again.
Her fingers still rattled when she found the small gift bag. She
pulled out the antiquated compact and rushed into the bathroom. She
didn’t know if it would work… what it would do to her. Another
crash forced any more hesitation out of her mind. She dumped the
ancient powder into a glass and mixed it with water. She swallowed
the chalky substance and felt an immediate need to purge her body
of it. She held her jaw tight and summoned the strength to leave
the bathroom and walk back down the stairs.

She came back to the living room, where Ben
was fighting to hold off Oliver. His head was bleeding. Had she
ever seen the blood come out of one of them before? Did that mean
anything? Did it mean that Ben was… She lowered her eyes and saw
Oliver had something in his hands, a broken leg from one of the
stools.

“Oliver,” she called, letting the pretense
overtake her expression. “Let him be.”

“I will finish this,” Oliver gnarled,
flashing his sharp teeth.

“Oliver,” she forced herself between them.
“Please leave him be.”

She didn’t look at Ben, not even to check if
the wound was serious. It couldn’t be. She couldn’t think about
Ben. She had one thing to do. She took Oliver’s hand and led him
through the doors to the balcony. She pressed her lips to his and
knew his passion was redirected. She took herself away from him and
touched his temples with her palms. “This is what is supposed to
happen,” she leaned her neck towards him and let him bite into her.
She saw Ben stand up and race to the door. She met his eyes as
Oliver took more of her blood and froze Ben in place inside the
apartment.

Elizabeth felt the lightness of her head.
With every ounce of her strength she pushed him away. He stepped
back and grinned at her for a moment with satisfaction. Then his
mouth soured. “Lizzie, what did you do?” he looked at her.

“I set you free,” she cried as he faltered
and squinted out the light of the sun.

Ben stepped onto the balcony. “Stay away,
Ben,” Elizabeth said firmly.

Oliver’s skin reddened and started to
blister. He was in pain and looked at her as he sank lower to the
ground, clutching his stomach. “Finish it,” Oliver muttered.

Elizabeth took the broken stick from his
hands and stabbed it through his chest. She closed her eyes,
fearing an explosion of blood or something grisly. She opened her
eyes slowly. There was no blood. No burnt up corpse. Just him
staring lifeless at the sky.

Elizabeth felt the weight of her body
collapse her knees. She sat on the floor of the balcony, prompting
Ben to come near. “Ben, stay away. I’m poison,” she swallowed,
slowing her breath. She felt the heat of the July sun on her
cheeks. She leaned her head against the edge of the balcony and
then it all went cold.

The room was dark when Elizabeth woke up.
She was in the guest room. She sat up slowly and saw Eric sitting
by the dresser. “What… what are you doing here?” she asked
groggily.

“Kate called me,” he smiled and moved to the
bed. “She’s downstairs with Ben and the others.”

“The others?” Elizabeth could hear voices
echo outside the door.

“Two of their lawyer friends,” Eric took her
blood pressure and listened to her heart. He flashed a small light
in her eyes.

“How long have I been out?” she felt the
shock of darkness after he removed the light.

“It’s 9:30,” Eric looked at her. “Do you
remember me bringing you up here?”

“No,” Elizabeth closed her eyes, seeing a
dream of someone standing over her … and a sharp pain in her arm.
She looked above her left elbow and saw a small bandage.

“That was the chelation agent. It should be
working the lead out of your system.”

“And then I went back to sleep?”

“
I imagine you are in
shock.”

“Did he take too much blood?”

“No… I mean emotional shock,” Eric looked at
her and offered a smile. “Physically, you’re fine.”

“Am I going to get sick?”

“No,” Ben said from the doorway. “He gave
you a treatment I developed at the clinic. It will get the lead out
of your bloodstream within a few weeks. There should be no lasting
effects.”

Elizabeth couldn’t meet his eyes. All the
details of what happened before she blacked out replayed vividly in
her mind, especially the green eyes watching what she did.
“Good.”

“Even so, we have to monitor your health
until then,” Eric eyed Ben cautiously. “Just to make sure you
aren’t suffering any symptoms. It will be best if you keep a
healthy distance from Ben during that time.”

Elizabeth looked at him, wondering what Kate
Chiang told him about her and Ben. Did any of it matter now? Ben
might not want her to stay knowing what she was capable of.

“It’s just a precaution,” Eric smiled at her
silence and looked towards Ben in the doorway. “Not a
quarantine.”

“
You are a very brave
woman, Elizabeth,” Dr. Chiang came beside Ben in the
doorway.

“I’m not brave,” Elizabeth shook her head.
She looked at her hands expecting to see traces of blood. But there
was nothing.

“You’re very clever. How did you know to do
that?” she went to Eric’s side. Elizabeth couldn’t tell if it was a
need to protect herself or her favorite source. She saw him slip
her hand into his and knew it wasn’t just about blood.

Elizabeth looked towards Ben and let her
eyes water. “I didn’t know,” she breathed out. “I didn’t know if it
would actually work. I just wanted to weaken him and stop him from
hurting Ben.”

Ben left the door and grabbed her hand,
ignoring Dr. Chiang’s attempt to stop him. Elizabeth felt the
warmth of his fingers and then retreated her hand, shifting away
from him on the mattress. “I didn’t know it hurt him so badly,” she
dropped her head, unable to look at any of them. “I didn’t know
that I would be able to do that.”