Adultery (June Hunt Hope for the Heart)
ADULTERY
The Snare of an Affair
JUNE HUNT
- Gives practical advice and Biblical wisdom from June Hunt, a biblical counselor whose award-winning radio program
Hope For The Heart
is heard on more than 900 radio outlets around the world. For more than 25 years, she has counseled people, offering them hope for today’s problems. - Provides hope to those who have been inflicted with the pain of an unfaithful spouse.
- Exposes the behavior of a mate who is having an affair, the characteristics and consequences of an adulterer, and the common mistakes committed by the faithful partner.
What Does It Mean to Adulterate?
Characteristics of One Drawn Into Adultery
What Are Outward Signs of Adultery?
What Are the Characteristics of Adulterous Temptation?
What Are Characteristics and Consequences of Adulterers?
Why Are People Drawn Into Adultery?
What Are the Reasons to Stop Committing Adultery?
What Is the Root Cause of Committing Adultery?
How an Adulterer Can Change—For Good
Common Mistakes of a Faithful Mate
Six Steps for the Faithful Mate
How to Conduct a Crisis Intervention
How to Answer the Tough Questions
How to Find Peace Through Pain
Dear friend,
How would you feel if your husband sent you out of state to your mother’s home for a month? He had already shipped off three of your children to summer camp and the 17-year-old 1,000 miles away to a summer job.
Then you return home only to realize, “Someone’s been eating my porridge!” You wish it were a child’s fairy tale like
Goldilocks and The Three Bears
or just a bad dream, but this shock is reality. “Someone’s been wearing my clothes, someone’s been using my perfume, someone’s been sleeping in my bed.” This was all true. This happened to my mother.
Nothing is more devastating than adultery. Nothing wounds a woman’s worth like infidelity. I know. I saw my mother’s sense of value drop to rock bottom. I grew up in a home where betrayal knew no bounds.
My mother, who admitted making a series of wrong choices, became emotionally drawn to a man double her age. Ultimately, she married my dad. But it wasn’t until my teenage years that I saw the devastation of adultery first hand.
Words are inadequate to express the anger, pain and anguish I carried deep within my soul as I discovered my father was having one affair after another, with woman after woman. I felt violated by my father’s sexual involvements. I felt a strong sense of betrayal on behalf of our whole family. And I felt I was my mother’s personal protector—yet as hard as I tried, I couldn’t protect her.
As devastating as this experience was, I also saw my mother drawn into a deep dependence on the Lord. She took to heart the Scripture,
“Your Maker is your husband— the L
ORD
Almighty is his name”
(Isaiah 54:5).
If you have been betrayed by your mate—or if you have been caught in the
snare of an affair
—I want you to know that in God there is hope for you and your situation. Although this is a difficult road, you are not traveling alone. The Lord says,
“I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you”
(Psalm 32:8).
May God use the truths in this book to bring healing to your heart and hope to your soul.
Yours in the Lord’s hope,
ADULTERY
The Snare of an Affair
Look at how that long, lingering stare subtly becomes the snare. But how could this happen to
him
? He is their fearless warrior—determined and disciplined. And he is their king—held in highest esteem.
Yet one fateful evening, when he should be overseeing his army, he becomes mesmerized at the sight of a beautiful woman, consumed with lust for this
married
woman. Although he, too, is married, he forsakes his wedding vows and behind closed doors commits adultery.
Somehow this one, solitary evening of selfish pleasure has just opened the door to other unthinkable sins. Indeed his own sexual compromise leads to unimaginable consequences.
Has your life been gripped by the agony of adultery? Has your life been forever changed by the snare of an affair? Since marriage was designed by God to be a lifelong covenant commitment, He will judge those who break the marriage covenant.
The Bible states clearly that ...
“Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.” (Hebrews 13:4)
“But David remained in Jerusalem”
(2 Samuel 11:1). These ominous words foreshadow far more than a king who fails to join his army. It’s springtime. Weather conditions are favorable. Army provisions are ample. It’s the customary time for kings to go to war. But not King David! Instead, he sends his commander while his troops wage war without him. Meanwhile, he stays home, walking the halls of his palace. This scenario is most unusual because David’s history reveals he doesn’t hold back from battle, but rather runs toward it.
As a young shepherd boy, when an entire army cowers, David accepts an impossible challenge: He comes against the arrogant Goliath and kills the Philistine giant. Soon he is leading King Saul’s army into one victory after another. Then later as God’s next anointed king, he bravely goes to battle to consolidate the kingdom. Yet now with his military battling many miles away, King David finds himself in an entirely different battle
and his defenses are dangerously down
.
Interestingly, those who walk through the door of adultery assume,
I won’t get caught. No one will know. It’s no big deal
. Oh, how blind they are. They simply do not see how their own selfish choices will reap severe results. The Bible even warns ...
“Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows.” (Galatians 6:7)
Adultery?
The king has been restless this particular evening, walking aimlessly around the roof of his palace. From the corner of his eye David notices light casting a golden glow across a reclining silhouette.
He looks, and soon his eyes are locked in a lustful stare. He gazes upon this woman—a
“very beautiful”
woman (2 Samuel 11:2)—bathing by lamp light in her courtyard. Now he is transfixed and trouble is on the horizon.
As a man of God, David is familiar with all of God’s commands, including the seventh of His Ten Commandments: God forbids adultery. God expressly forbids sexual relations with another person’s mate.
But the king turns a blind eye to Scripture, so that he can scope out the enticing scene. Soon, his visual sin takes a strategic spin. First David sends someone to find out who the woman is, then he sends messengers to bring her to the palace.
He’s a married man, and Bathsheba is married too, but her husband is far away—ironically, fighting in David’s army.
So lust looms and blooms, which proves to be a pitfall. What happens next will forever change the course of David’s life.
“She came to him, and he slept with her.” (2 Samuel 11:4)
- Adultery
is voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and another person who is not his or her lawful spouse.
1
Spiritually, it means to apostatize or to stray away from the covenant with God. - “Adultery,” the English word, comes from the Latin
ad
, which means “to” and
alter
, which means “other, different” (to make different, to alter). - “Adultery” in Hebrew is the word
naaph
, which is first mentioned in the Bible, the seventh of God’s Ten Commandments.
2
“You shall not commit adultery.” (Exodus 20:14)
Q
UESTION: “I find myself attracted to someone other than my wife. What can I do to ensure that I will be faithful?”
A
NSWER:
At the very moment your emotions start turning from your wife to someone else, redirect your mind and emotions back to your wife. Realize that guardrails on mountain roads serve as constraints that compel us to stay on course and drive safely. They keep us from plunging off the road to destruction below. In the same way, guarding your emotions keeps you from plunging headlong into an adulterous affair.
Pray ...
“Lord, I refuse to let my mind get off course. I choose to guard my mind. I will focus on being faithful to my marriage commitment, my spouse, and my Savior. In Your strength I pray, Amen.”
“Let your eyes look straight ahead; fix your gaze directly before you. Give careful thought to the paths for your feet and be steadfast in all your ways. Do not turn to the right or the left; keep your foot from evil.” (Proverbs 4:25–27)
It Mean to Adulterate?
Two marriage covenants have now been stained, sullied by a man who should have modeled God’s command rather than manipulate the tempting scene to satisfy his lust.
Those who commit adultery will be held accountable according to God’s Word, and that extends even to God’s anointed David. He will face a lifetime of tragic consequences because he allowed a casual glance across a courtyard to turn into unlawful lust. And not only has David tarnished his own integrity, but he has also cast a dark shadow over God’s holy reputation among the nations—for that, too, he will be judged.
All too soon, David will hear a harsh rebuke through the prophet Nathan: