A Life Plan Without You. (45 page)

“Argh that’s what you meant by visitor? I thought your family
had people coming? We don’t always have to do anything your cuddles
and kisses are more than fine with me.” He was very good at those
two things. The front door slammed. Damn, we were in the midst of a
bloody great make out session too.

“Hello, who’s in?” Andy had arrived home. We got up and went
down stairs to meet him.

“Why? What do you want?”

“Fancy coming out with me a game of snooker or something?” I
looked at Sam I was tired I’d over done it with the
walking.

“Sam you go. I need to get some sleep, but drop me off at home
on your way up there.” He looked at me.

“Really, are you sure about that?” I wanted him with
me.

“You don’t spend time with your friends or enough time with
just Andy since we started going out, please do the things you did
before. Chasing the girls is out though.” He kissed me.

“Why would I chase anyone when I have you?” Oh my, yes he did.
We walked up to mine, I gave him a quick kiss, and he left with his
brother, waving as they turned the corner. Bath and bed for me I
stank, I didn’t want to tell him I had a raging temperature, and
felt like being sick again. Nice hot bath and fluffy pyjamas, clean
bedding it was lush and the best feeling in the world getting into
a fresh bed. Pills and painkillers taken and I slept all
night.

“Right soft lad! What’s the story with you and Michelle? Mum
says Michelle is pregnant? Her Grandbabies are going to be
beautiful, that’s all she talked about, are you fucking mad?” I
smiled.

“No, she isn’t Andy we haven’t done that yet. We took her
brother to Blackpool and people presumed he was Michelle’s and
mine. She just said our children would be beautiful, stop with the
questions now, I’m not discussing my love life.”

“Sam what the sodding hell are you waiting for? She is damn
near perfect and you’re stupid if you don’t want to, some of the
dogs that you’ve been with over the past two years have been damn
ugly! I can’t get over the first really decent girl you get and
then you decide to have issues with shagging.”

“I know but I want to be married before I do that with her!
She’s considering it too! You know I have some dark shit going on,
and why I can’t get over what Janet did! Then what I did to all
those girls, there were too many and I shouldn’t have, it was wrong
on so many levels, something I’m not proud of my fucking nick-name!
I only hope she doesn’t find out about it, I don’t want her to hate
me like I do myself! I’m doing it the proper way this time,
Michelle is the one, the only one I want!”

“What you’ve asked a kid to marry you?”

“That kid is eighteen, and she gave you some bloody good
advice, which you were happy enough to take, she is a hell of a lot
more switched on to things than you know! I know she has figured
out some of our shit, and I haven’t told her jack about it! She may
be young, but she’s the one I need in my life!”

“Well yes, she did and well, she is a bit old in her head way
older than our idiot brother, but don’t leave it too long or you
may lose her! The way she looks, you do know she is watched when we
go out all the time?” I knew it and was proud to have her on my arm
and they can look all they want to she’s mine.

“It will never happen with anyone but me Andy! They can look
all they want she’s mine. She loves me too much and I love her.
I’ll be sorting a weekend away next weekend too! I fancied whisking
her off to Paris or somewhere just as romantic, but she hasn’t a
passport! So I’m thinking London for a show and then a couple of
nights in The Dorchester and then get her ring from a nice
jewellers down there, I want the night to be special, she is so
worth every penny it will cost.”

“Bloody hells bells, I thought Jimmy had it bad.”

“This time next year we will be married, that much I can
promise you! If I have my way before Christmas.” He smiled and we
continue to play, he continues to drink! I can’t help smiling
because I now can’t wait to make love to her. I excuse myself and I
do a quick toilet stop, as we head out to the pub for a couple of
drinks.

“I’m just saying Sam, she’s only young, just be careful, shit
you’re not much older yourself and marriage is a fucking big step!
She will get to know everything about us, make sure you think about
this and hard, you have a hell of a lot more to lose
now!”

A drunken girl comes over and grabs at me, she knows Andy who
tells her to fuck off. I ignore her she stinks of booze and fags
and is a nasty piece of work! I try to explain to Andy just how
much she means to me.

“Fuck off yourself Andrew Todd, it’s your brother I want not
you.”

“Andy I have met the girl I want to spend the rest of my life
with and next week in London, she will have the ring she chooses
from Tiffany’s. I can’t live without her and she will be my wife. I
need to get back Andy this place is awful and that girl you just
told to fuck off is still mooning over you.”

“She is mooning over you soft lad not me; she is a reject
from the club, she failed the medical, and a proper head case. Come
on then let’s get you home lover boy. Really London? Sam that’s
going to cost you an arm and a leg!

“It's not like I can’t afford to treat her, Andy I have the
money, you have the money! Why don’t you treat Zoë to the odd
weekend away, instead of waiting until her parents go to their
caravan?”

“I don’t like parting with my hard earned cash Sam! I have
big plans for my money and have it invested, not like you wasting
it on this romance crap.”

“Andy we can never spend what we have, so why scrimp? Andy we
don’t work hard for the money it drops into black card account on
the first of the month, every month. We got thirty grand in
interest and another ten in payments, last month; please tell me
you didn’t spend it on a sleazy sex den?” He is so pissed he is
slurring his words now. I’ve a feeling he and Zoë are on bad terms
again.

I manage to get him home and in bed, he tells me Zoë has
problems with their relationship as she wants more than their usual
type of rough sex! She wants romance and all it entails the hearts
and flowers and the whole nine yards! Something I give Michelle
every day. I miss my girl. Apparently, I give Michelle too much
according to Zoë, I wish my baby would let me, but she doesn’t like
gifts and pays her own way.

I put my joggers on and went to run around the track, after a
few laps decided I’d had enough. I crossed the road and walked
across the field an old friend, who I actually had a crush on and
for the longest of times, Adam. He was home on leave, from the
Royal Navy and walking his dog.

“Hello you, how’s the navy treating you? He hugged me and put
me down.

“Fine and how are you doing My-isshy?” I picked up a stick and
threw it for his dumb dog.

“I’m fine too thanks I have just been accepted into uni, so
step one sorted won’t be long before I put my application in for
Dartmouth.” He put his arms around me. He leant in for a kiss, shit
feast or famine in my world. I would have died and gone to heaven
if this had been before Sam.

“No Adam, that’s not appropriate, not now not after all this
time. You had your chance Mr Maginty and blew it quite
spectacularly when you joined the navy. What was it you said I was
too young and ditsy for you, I was just one of the boys, nothing
more than a mate?” He took his arm away.

“Sorry, but it just felt right Michelle and I’ve missed you
whilst I’ve been away and your letters are always full of what
ifs.”

“I would have been ecstatic if you’d have done those things
weeks ago, not now Adam. I’m actually seeing someone he’s your age
funny enough and the what if’s, haven’t been there in the last few
letters Adam.” He apologised again. I gave him a quick kiss on his
cheek; I jogged off and the bloody dog chased me and sent me
flying.

“Shit this dog is a flaming pain, she thinks you’re playing.
Let me get you up.” He held my hands and pulled me into his arms.
He looked so gorgeous, had Sam not asked me out already, Adam would
have been in for the best kiss ever, but not anymore.

“Are you sure about this fella of yours?” I smiled, sure
enough to be seriously considering saying yes to marrying him if he
asks again. I missed him so much last night, though it will have to
be after the talk about practicalities.

“I have never been more, sure of anything, I love Sam very
much, and sorry Adam, but only Sam too.” I climbed through the
fence and Sam was watching me, he looked mad. He held me in his
arms and kissed me.

“Who’s that? He was a bit over friendly with you.” I noted
that old green-eyed monster again. I was still in his arms when he
looked at me.

“That’s Adam, my old sparring partner and boy we were damn
naughty kids together growing up, he’s well my best and oldest
friend in the world. His Mum is my Mums friend we spent a lot of
time together growing up. He is in the Royal Navy and he’s on
leave, and for some reason he thought I was still interested in
him? Perhaps before you I would have been, but I’m not interested
in anyone but you.” He looked at Adam, who’d seen us. Sam picked me
up and kissed me, they are very nice my fella’s jealous
kisses.

“He’s the
one you told Jimmy about, the one who didn’t know you
existed?”

“Shit Jimmy told you about the one, bloody hell, yes if you
must know he was to me as I was to Jimmy, but not anymore, not
since I first saw you angel not since I saw you.”

“I love
you Michelle, really love you and I don’t share.” I
laughed.

“Nice to know you aren’t the jealous type, and remember that I
don’t share either. Did you have a nice night with Andy all that
snooker and boy time?” He looked down at me his smile was so
infectious I smiled back at him.

“No, I missed you. It’s not the same not having you with me,
it’s like I’m lost without you?” Now that was I nice to
hear.

“I had a bath and went to bed, I bloody needed it the walk
knackered me a bit, but the pills have kicked in and the period
pains have stopped, so feeling loads better, oop’s sorry too much
information?” I laughed; I bet he wished he’d stopped with me
now.

“Umm, no baby I need to know these things all about your lady
stuff too, that’s a bloody minefield. So no never be embarrassed
discussing that stuff with me, your Mum tried the other night
explaining the pill and stuff, I need to know when to avoid you.
This stress thing women have when you’re having them, the need for
chocolate, and the need for me to watch what I say? Apparently you
women have bad rages and the pains are bad, Kim did offer to kick
me in the nuts to give me a little indication as to her pains. She
did try to explain once why she was such a cow, she’s a bloody
bitch when she’s erh on her lady time, so I understand, I think?”
Bloody hell, he isn’t embarrassed give my father lessons, please
Sam. Having him to ask Aunty Liz to get me pads once was a bloody
embarrassment, for both of us. He cried that night apparently, he’d
had a drink and said his little girl was all grown up. Yeah right I
had the curse now, but I like Sam calling it lady time. The curse
is banished no more curses.

“Let’s go back, I need to wash and change.” He held on to me
tightly, I see Adam is coming nearer, so did Sam, he pulled me to
him again and made damn sure Adam saw us together. I’m not
complaining his jealous kisses were nice.

“We are going shopping today.” Deep joy, I hated shopping,
what did he need?

“Shopping it is then I need things anyway for Kelly’s
eighteenth party at hers, she’s invited you too, I need something
for that. It’s not the black dress type of party perhaps a couple
of new going out dresses too, though Gramps did give me the money
for new underwear, so I need to get you more pretty things so you
can take those off too.” He laughed, picked me up and carried me
over the road, much more for show than anything else, as Adam was
coming towards us. Sam was marking his territory.

“Do you want to go out Saturday then?” He put me down, in
front of my door taking my chin in his hand and gave me the nicest
of kisses as Adam passed, continuing until Adam had long
gone.

“I do, but only if you want to.” I loved being with him on the
dance floor.

“Coffee would you like a cup?” I went through to the kitchen.
He sat in the front room.

“Mum, Pat drinks?” I’d overheard Pat’s voice as we came in,
Sam was about to be fed to the lions.

“No, we’ve got one thank you.” I took Sam’s through, mouthed
‘sorry’, and went to change. I put on another dress that Gramps had
me buy. A black and white spotty dress paired with new black shoes,
hair done and gloss on the lips. I went down to be scrutinised by
Pat she did more criticizing than mum and always on my negative
side. Her Mandy always being better at stuff than I was. That was a
laugh which Mandy loved she was so no better at anything than I
was. She knew it, I knew it, but her mum just wouldn’t admit
it.

“Another new dress? Why Jim buys you so much beggars belief, I
don’t know why he bothers, it’s not like you go out anywhere nice
to wear them?”