A Life Plan Without You. (43 page)

“I can drop some shifts, if that would help?” He hugged
me.

“You’d do that for me?” Like I wouldn’t help him?

“Yes, let me know what you need covering, between you three
and me, we should be able to cover her, have you thought of asking
Aunty Allison to have her there for a few days?” He had, but his
mum wanted to be home.

Our train came and we got to our seats. I put my head in Sam’s
lap and fell asleep with him playing with my hair. I woke up when
the train came to a sudden stop. JJ was awake and playing with a
toy from the zoo, eating his Kit-Kat, Sam had managed to get him
out of his pram and into the seat, and they were having monster
fights when I woke.

“How long have I slept Sam?” He looked at his
watch.

“Not long at all about half an hour.” He bent down and kissed
me. His kisses were soft and gentle. The train moved off and the
kissing continued. My lips were numb. I kissed him back and sat
up.

“I loved today, thank you last night was pretty good too, but
I’m knackered.” He grinned.

“It was pretty good Missy, I’d love to stop again, but I need
to be in work early.” Good, I didn’t fancy him and dad leaving for
work at the same time. Sam walked us home Aunty Liz and mum were in
the front room eagerly awaiting our return.

“You’re coming in for a drink, no arguing your freezing
angel.” I opened the door.

He came in just for a quick coffee. Mum went to put the kettle
on as JJ started his show and tell, of the monkeys, the Nellys, the
giraffes, and lions and the stupid rabbit, which bit his finger.
His impression of the monkeys had Sam and Aunty in fits of
laughter. Aunty Liz liked Sam before, but now he was bloody
wonderful, JJ kept getting off her knee and going to sit on Sam’s
knee.

“A nasty clown chased me Aunty Elle. Sam picked me up and rand
me all away from it, it was naughty, we went on rides lots of rides
and Sam tooked me on the bumping cars and I banged into My-isshy,
she said I was a bugger and Sam shout at her, she said rude words,
they mushed a lot them two did and it not bedtime.” I smiled Sam
was going red as he took his drink off mum as JJ gave them their
glass swans. He showed them his teddy bears and told them about the
tower and nearly falling off. He was clamped in his pram at all
times. Boy he liked to fib, he had lots of fun, we all did it would
seem.

“Can I go to bed in my monster bed, Aunty Elle? I knackered
Sam got me a snot monster look, he knackered too and was a busted
to win.” Sam spit his coffee out. You really have to watch what you
say around JJ.

“JJ that’s not a nice word, it’s tired, sorry about the busted
thing Susan.” He looked at Sam ran over gave him a hug and he gave
everyone a goodnight mush and with his treasures in hand
disappeared with Aunty Liz, she had missed him. Mum was impressed
with the fun JJ had, had.

“Right I have work in the morning and running around after JJ,
is as he said, bloody knackering, thanks for the brew Susan.” She
thanked him again getting up and giving him a hug. I walked him to
the door.

“Come down to mine when you get back from work Michelle
please, we can have tea at mine and have some alone time in my
room.”

“I like that idea Sam, I had a wonderful day with you and I am
thinking about it angel, really I am. I just need time. Do you want
me to fetch something?” He smiled.

“Just think how good we are together and to each other, I love
you so much, I will wait as long as it takes, as for tomorrow? Just
you please we’ll grab a pizza from the restaurant near me.” He lent
in and kissed me goodnight.

“See you after work Sam.” He smiled, waved and left. I watched
as he walked away. I shut the door and went to bed. He’d left me
with plenty to think about.

I had such a great day with Michelle, little JJ was
brilliant. She loves life to the max and thank God for that, she
breaths new fresh air into my life, I hope and pray I’m doing this
boyfriend thing right? I actually loved it when the women in the
zoo and in the tower and then the restaurant, all thought he was
mine and Michelle’s Son! I want loads of children with her. I want
to take her around the world first though, show her the places she
dreams about, have some life adventures, then settle down and have
oh at least four of the little things, you’re a soppy bastard
Todd.

A couple of Sam and Michelle’s, our babies so spoilt, and
that’s making me want her more, the thought of her carrying my
children. Bare foot and pregnant? Yes, I can do that, spending the
days with our family. Never having wanted to be a Dad before, but
with her, I think about it all the time. Last night, was too good
for words and how I stopped myself from doing it, I don’t know, we
nearly had sex anyway! The breast thing wow that well, was
amazing!

I really need to listen more when the lads do their sex talks
on a Monday, after their weekend quests are revealed. Something I
never spoke of, my many partners! Partners is a stupid word for
fumbles, all I would say was yeah had a good weekend! Never having
done the things I am now doing with Michelle before has made me
realise the crap I did back then was so wrong, so bloody wrong,
thinking about last night though, is a do again type of thing, and
not on her list, either!

I’ve had straight sex with a fair few girls, has to be said
and I had no issues with letting them have it, so why not with her?
I love Michelle and she wants it, I'd go as far as to say she needs
it! I’m so screwed up why can I not just do that with her? I need
her too, something needs to give and that something is me! I know
she loves me and I don’t think it’s doing her any good waiting, as
she says I have done it, she hasn’t! She is giving me her gift and
that alone scares the crap out of me. Messing it up for her,
because you remember your first time!

I know I do, and that’s my problem the bitch I lost it too
and why! Christ just thinking about my baby is making me stiff, I
get in to total darkness and an empty house. Bed and relieve myself
loudly! I’m spoilt now because she does it so much better than I
do. I have to do this every time I leave her I need to do this or
sleep with a hard on all night and that’s bloody uncomfortable! Umm
when I think about her, I imagine her riding me, screaming my name.
I think of the first time we do it, ripping slowly through her
virginity. Shit being her first turns me on and frightens me in the
same breath, I have never been anyone’s first! I will be though,
just me she’s mine, just mine and that’s mine too! Argh… God sweet
release and I sleep…

CHAPTER
7

It’s market day, so we are busy and unusually so, the new
girls are only learning and Debby is being really bloody lazy and
is being more bossy than usual. Her Mum is on holiday and she’s in
charge. Lord help me, a week being bossed around by her, I’d spent
all day clearing tables and was on pot duty. I have been cold and
wet all day, I feel a cold coming on, I’m so ill and not feeling a
hundred per cent in fact, I’m feeling so crappy and feeling so
sorry for myself. Debby had given me painkillers and orange juice.
She took my temperature and sent me home early because the sound of
me being sick in the toilet was the last straw, like I could help
it?

I grabbed more pain killers along with the curse products, I’m
due on so deep joy, hence the back ache and crappy stomach, oh to
be a man. Bubble bath bought too and I bought a bottle of Bill
Blass perfume, it’s really expensive, but oh so nice. Lana’s
admirer has expensive tastes, I stash it in my bag and walk home
head aching and back killing me. When I get home, I have a hot bath
full of bubbles and it’s so relaxing. I wrap myself in a warm towel
from the radiator and fall asleep on the bed. I wake to Sam sat on
the bed running his fingers through my hair and over my face, mum
must have let him up?

“Are you okay Missy?” I looked at him as he feels my head my
Sam is so cute… boy I’m so not feeling well and my head hurts… What
am I doing still in a towel?

“Why are you here, I’m coming to yours, when I get changed?”
He held me.

“It’s turned eight, so when you didn’t arrive. I was worried
and I came up.” He shouts down to mum, shush my head hurts. “Susan,
it’s Michelle, she’s burning up, please come up here
quickly.”

“I’m really cold Sam, I’m not hot.” He put the quit from
Becky’s bed on mine. Mum had knocked on wall for Aunty
Liz.

“She’s burning up Susan, please get the doctor.” Sam carefully
dressed me in knickers and a nightgown. Aunty Liz came in as he is
tucking me back in bed.

“Sam, oh shit, I’m going to be sick.” He grabbed the waste bin
and sat by my side, as I was sick. Crying and embarrassed and oh my
head aches so much. Mum had gone to ring for a doctor Aunty Liz has
a glass of water and painkillers and a cold flannel for my head and
neck. Sam took them from her and wiped my face and put it on the
back of my neck.

“Bin Sam, I’m sorry, oh shit.” Again I threw up, not a good
look throwing up in front of your boyfriend.

“I’m sorry Sam, Aunty Li help me please I don’t feel well.”
Another throwing up session, but my stomach is empty so I just
wretch. She changed the flannel for a fresh one and Sam removed the
bin to empty it, washing it out and placing it back by my
bed.

“Does it hurt anywhere Michelle?” I cried and I felt like
crap.

“My back hurts and it’s hot Aunty Liz.” Sam was at my side and
wiping my head with the fresh flannel. Aunty Liz went downstairs I
put my head in Sam’s lap. He wiped the back of my neck and he gave
me the tablets and told me to sip the water slowly.

“I’m sorry… I love you… Erg you’ve watched me be sick… Oh boy
kill me now.” He kissed my head, laughed and told me to shush, the
bloody dog was barking at something, making my headache even
more.

“It’s the first bedroom to your right Doctor.” Sam stood back
as the Doctor looked me over.

“When did you start to feel un-well Michelle?”

“I came home from work, I was and am cold, my back is sore and
hot though. I was only sick just before you arrived, my headaches
and I’m hot now.” Sam looked uncomfortable and was about to be more
so.

“Is there any chance you may be pregnant?” Mum and Aunty
waited with baited breath, Sam spoke up without thinking, good for
him mum’s face was a picture.

“No, absolutely not Doctor.” I seconded that fact.

“Sorry about that I have to ask, can you use the toilet and
get me a water sample?” He gave me a little bottle. “Leave it on
the sink and I’ll test it.” I managed to get the simple task, done
but with the maximum of effort. It hurt something wicked, which I
told the doctor. I climbed back in bed. Sam shifted to the end of
my bed. The doctor tested the water sample. Wrote my name on it and
put it in a bag.

“Seems you may have a water infection, there is a trace of
blood in it too and your sugars are on the high side. I will send
this away for testing, but we will start you on antibiotics.” He
gave Sam a bottle from his bag. I’m due the curse, perhaps that’s
why there’s trace of blood? I’m not embarrassing myself more in
front of Sam.

“One tablet, three times a day and drink plenty of water and
get some rest.” Mum showed the doctor out and Aunty Liz kissed my
head and said goodnight. Sam sat at my side I buried my head in his
lap and cried he wiped my head neck, then my face and told me to go
to sleep.

“Don’t leave me though, please don’t leave me?” I moved over
and he moved across the bed taking the place of my pillows, I lay
my head in his lap and I slept. I woke, keeping my eyes shut when I
heard him speaking to mum.

“I will be okay sleeping sat up as long as Michelle is
sleeping I wouldn’t want to disturbed her, I’ve done the sleeping
in a chair at the hospital more than I care to remember Susan,
because Mum has falls all the time.” He had his arm over me. He
plays with the curls and strokes my forehead lightly leaning down
and kissing it, I murmur and cuddle into him. I’m going to die a
virgin, bummer and then I sleep.

I watched as she slept, her head is nestled in my lap and as
she rested I ran my hands through her hair, fed and watered by
Susan she would smile and ask did I need anything.

“No thanks Susan I will be fine, the coffee is good and I can
sleep sat up I have enough practice with Mum in hospital, does
Michelle get ill a lot?”

“No she hasn’t had a day off school or college even when she
was having lady troubles!” Great do I blush now?

“Um all male house Susan, so I wouldn’t know?” She
laughs!

“No she jogs eats well and generally she hasn’t the time for
being ill. Were you meant to be doing anything special
tonight?”

“No just pizza and listening to records, she won’t be in work
for a while, can you ring them for her in the morning?”

“Her Aunty Liz will do it at six because she was meant to be
in the bakery tomorrow. Still she has never let them down in all
the time she has been there. She will be panicking about the things
she was going to get with her wages!” Umm interesting, I wonder
what she needs?