A Life Plan Without You. (48 page)

“I will be fine in here Sam I can’t get in trouble in here.” I
joined the queue the girl from earlier was in the toilets. I held
my head high and kept my cool, Jenny had already warned them off
me, but given her drunken state I wasn’t sure what to
expect?

“That’s the bitch from earlier see her she’s got my fella.”
Her friend left her to it and she actually looked annoyed at her
drunken friend and sober. This was going to get messy as she
suddenly lunged at me, screaming I was a slut, I just stepped aside
and she hit the machine on the wall, thank you Dr Whites for the
helping hand, Shit I needed one of those too, good job she spewed
the contents everywhere with her head… She’d knocked herself out
cold.

Lord did her friend laugh and me too, as we got her out of the
toilet and I opened the door carrying her to the seating area. I
asked a bouncer to get her checked over and went to finish in the
toilet, thanking Dr White for the towel. I didn’t have to do
anything, just be sober enough to shift as she knocked herself out.
I picked the contents up and put them back and closed the door,
leaving the unit on the side a little dinged. I came out to find
Shane checking her over.

“I didn’t do anything she came at me, all I did was move, you
know I don’t fight Shane, not unless I need too and I promise I
didn’t have too.” He laughed.

“Like sod you don’t, you’ve kicked my arse more than once.”
Sam stood watching Shane and he was fuming.

“I didn’t do anything please tell him please?” I asked, no
begged her friend because Sam was angry with me. She confirmed my
story and laughed as she told them it was all her own fault, saying
her head had broken the machine in the toilet too, she said that
Sam had given her no encouragement at all the night
before.

“Thanks for that, are you stopping here with us or going in
the ambulance with your friend?” She opted for us, as we were
better company.

“I will phone her Mum, and tell her she’s on her way to
hospital again.” She did just that and re-joined Sam and I at the
bar, the Jolly’s were now calling me Rocky too.

“Sorry, I didn’t catch your name?” She blushed.

“I’m Carol Fletcher, I’m so sorry about her, but she has a big
drink problem. I only come out to look after her, thought she
doesn’t take advise or know when to quit, Jenny told her you were
off limits. Something she will have forgotten and something she
will have to be reminded of again when she sobers up.”

“Well pleased to meet you and welcome to the party, this is
Sam and I’m his girlfriend Michelle. These lads are the Jolly boys,
Jolly’s this is Carol. Be kind and nice for a change, and you keep
your mitts to yourself groper, she’s too nice for your mitts.” I
pointed at the idiot who pinched my bum. Sam held me tightly Stuart
made a beeline for Carol good she’ll be safe with
Stuart.

“I’m fine Sam, gheeze she couldn’t even stand properly let
alone throw a punch, oh shit Sam help.” He laughed as Shane was on
his way over. His music was playing and he was heading my way. I
was now being marched to the dance floor. Knock on Wood, I sure as
hell wasn’t in the mood for this but I danced anyway, the Jollies
had moved closer for a look-see and Sam had his arm over Carol’s
shoulder, I looked at Sam and smiled. He realised where his arm was
and moved it. The music changed to The Hustle and as the floor
filled, Stuart was leading Carol on the dance floor. I kissed Shane
and headed for the door. Sam was following; he looked worried as he
pulled me to him.

“Sorry there wasn’t room and she was being pushed, so I just
grabbed her shoulder honestly there was nothing more in it please?”
I looked at him because I was puzzled, why did I make him panic,
was I that much of a stroppy cow?

“I just need some fresh air Sam, honestly angel I was coming
back, I knew what you were doing, one more push and she’d have
fallen, angel I trust you please Sam we are fine, more than fine
were great, take me to eat please, I may need it to soak up the
whole three glasses of wine I’ve had.” We said our goodbyes and Sam
held my hand tightly. We ended up at Lune De Minuit, (The Midnight
Moon.) it was a new French bistro that had recently
opened.

“What do you want Michelle?”

“Surprise me please, but no alcohol I’ve had my fill thank you
angel.” I sat at an empty table and waited for him to get
back.

“Michelle, please I didn’t do anything?”

“Sam shut up. I know you didn’t do anything, I wouldn’t be
here if I thought for one minute you had. Am I that bad Sam, do I
make you panic and make you edgy? Really you need to tell me if I
do, I didn’t think I did sorry?” He kissed me, passing me a
box.

“No, it’s just sometimes I think, you think I need more than
you and I don’t. Others may be interested in me, but I only have
eyes for just one girl and she’s sat here with me. Open it please
and look on the back, because I’ve had it engraved too.” I opened
the nice box. Oh my days a beautiful antique looking platinum
watch. It was so exquisite the straps had tiny diamonds encrusted
within the rope like band, with four sapphires around the face in
between each of those, two diamonds. It was so beautiful and it
certainly brought tears to my eyes. Oh my this was the nicest thing
I’d ever been bought. I turned it over to read the inscription. ‘To
heaven and back again.’ I loved my watch and cried. Our snacks and
drinks were brought to the table, crusty Chicken baguettes. I
thought he would order snails just to piss me off and I’m still
crying over the bloody watch.

“I noticed you haven’t got one a watch. This is… Well just…
Well because I love you and your all I want, please believe me baby
your all I want Michelle just you.” I oh-ed and then the tears
started as he smiled across the table at me.

“Sam I love it and I love you too so much it hurts angel, am I
too much for you? If I get that way tell me, I will try to be
better, but your all I want too, and all of you angel just you.” He
put it on and I sat and looked at it. Sam had at last relaxed, why
did I put him on edge all the time? I knew I had too quick a
temper, but I was so insecure about Sam and me, not knowing the
reasons why he did not want me as much as I wanted him, were to me
so confusing? I just wish I knew why I wasn’t good enough to have
full sex with? Was he keeping it for someone else? No, that wasn’t
it at all, because we spent every minute together! This issue
didn't help me in the trust department…

Food eaten and drinks drank, I had spent the whole time
looking at my watch it was so beautiful. Sam looked at me all the
time and smiled, as he helped me to my feet he kissed the back of
my neck, telling me he loved me, as he turned me around to face
him, his lips kissed mine again. We walked to my house, the long
way around, it had started raining, so no short cut through the
field, the rain was freezing as we clung together for warmth, Sam
had me wrapped in his arms and his jacket shared with me, when I
refused to take it.

“Come on bed, we need to get out of these wet clothes.” I shut
the door and led him upstairs. Grabbing a warm towel from my
radiator, I dried his hair and then as he stripped off his wet
shirt, I dried his body, his body shivered at my touch and as the
rest of his clothes were abandoned, the fluffy warm towel wiped the
other places of that damn body I smiled as I looked
down.

“Those off too Sam, I wouldn’t want him to get a chill, not
before his big day.” He threw them at me and grabbed the dry pair I
offered him. He jumped in my bed and I ran to the bathroom and
washed and changed, coming into my room he was laid in my bed,
smiling. I put on my fluffy Christmas reindeer pyjamas, not wanting
to spoil my new ones, and he was very rude and he laughed at them.
I climbed in my bed at the side of him. I could have had guilt sex
right now damn lady time, so we just cuddled, he held me tight
kissing my neck.

“I love you, Michelle, you are all I want in my sad little
life, you baby girl just you.”

“I want
you more Sam, and soon I’m sorry I’m a bitch sometimes, I just
didn’t think you would ever want me, and now you do, and are here,
but…”

“But what? Baby I love you and we have all the time in the
world for sex, all the time baby, and when we do it will be great
and I do want you so much, I promise you, you are all I want,
tonight tomorrow and forever just you, now shush. Sleep Michelle,
just sleep and know I mean it when I say I love you.”

“I love you too, I hate being a woman my belly aches, sorry
not dead romantic am I?”I yawn as he laughed, his kisses to my neck
made me sleepy his breath as he kissed my neck, felt warm and as he
stroked my back and hugged my poorly belly, I fell asleep with him
holding me tightly within those strong arms. We slept in late and
as I rolled over to face him, he looked so peaceful as he slept,
and as I traced his face with my finger gently, he murmured my
name…

CHAPTER
8

“Sam, wake up please, Sam.” I kissed his beautiful mouth he
woke with a beaming smile. “Morning you it’s nearly lunch time.” He
pulled me to him.

“We have to get up why exactly?” He had a point. “Kiss me
Michelle.” I didn’t need asking twice, but morning breath? Hell if
I had it so did he, I kissed him and I needed to pee.

“Sorry angel I need the loo.” He sat up.

“Well hurry up I need it too.” I did my best to rush I went
back in my room, whilst he did a runner across the landing. I sat
on Becky’s bed and waited for him to get back in. He bumped into
mum coming out of the toilet, and I don’t know who was more
embarrassed him or mum?

“Sorry Mum, Sam stopped last night. We won’t, be long we’ll be
out of your hair in a minute.” I laughed as he came back in as red
same colour as the dress I was going to wear I put it back and
picked another one. Mum had just copped a look at Sam in boxers, a
truly nice sight indeed.

“So, can I go and see you’re Mum today? I’m feeling fine, and
she can’t catch my, thing.” He smiled.

“You want to go and see her?” I looked puzzled.

“Why wouldn’t I Sam? She’s really been nice to me. I had
better change, though.” I pulled out another of Gramps dresses, a
stylish lemon dress this was so nice it would go perfect with the
new primrose underwear.

“I’d say turn around but as you’ve seen everything. It would
be pointless.” I took the top off, putting on my bra and put the
dress on over my pyjamas bottoms, there is still something’s he
wasn’t seeing.

“I like that one, Gramps has good taste.” I put on tights and
the new yellow shoes I have to go with it. Perfect, just the hair,
I went to the bathroom wet the frizzy mess. It had been wet and
dried funny, I looked like hair bear again. I washed it and put in
some mousse and shook it I tied a yellow ribbon round it. Sam was
sitting on the bed watching me.

“Sam what’s the matter?” He just smiled and held me. He
nuzzled my belly and I ran my fingers through his hair. He held me
tighter and smiled.

“I just love you, so much can I not just be happy for that
reason baby? Come on pass me my stuff.” His clothes were still in
my wardrobe, he changed into the black trousers and a new white
shirt. Mum obviously had, had a nosey as all his stuff had been
ironed and hung up, we went down Sam smiling as he pinched my
bum.

“Mum thanks for ironing Sam’s clothes, we’re going to the
hospital to see Emma we won’t be long, I have lessons later.” I
looked at him admiring the things he had on.

“I like that jacket it’s very nice.” He was always smartly
dressed, and since I started seeing him my wardrobe consisted of a
lot more dresses, more than it ever had before, and my drawers were
heavy with all sorts of lace and frills.

We were at the market getting things for Emma I beat him into
paying for the flowers. He just smiled when I won the race to pay
he hated me paying for things, I don’t understand why though, I
always paid my own way, he would have to get used to it.

“Flowers, fruit, chocolate, snacks, drinks and magazines I
can’t think of anything else has she got clean underwear and
nightdresses?” We had an arm full of things for her.

“Andy, Jimmy and Aunty go twice a day, I’m sure she would have
asked for things, if she needed them?” We got a taxi to the
hospital I loved the smell of hospitals, strange person that I am.
He led me to her ward, where she was sat propped up, in bed reading
a book.

“Oh Michelle, do you feel better? I didn’t expect to see you.”
I smiled she looked so small and frail, she looked like a hug would
break her. She had lost weight and really looked ill, being in
hospital she must be, derrr.

“I’m better thanks how are you? This lot for you should keep
you going for a bit, are you in pain Emma?” She showed the flowers
to a nurse who was taking her temperature and doing
tests.

“These are off my lovely Son and his girlfriend, aren’t they
beautiful?” I blushed Sam just sat and smiled at his
mum.

“I can put them in water if you want?” The nurse pointed to
the sluice room.

“There’s vases in there and water of course.” I disappeared
for a few minutes returning with the flowers neatly in a vase, boy
it stank in there, I put the hastily arranged flowers on her
bedside table, we sat at her bedside she wanted to know how my
holiday had gone, so I filled her in on the holiday all about
nearly being fed to the crabs at the wreck, going to Isle of Man,
showing her my ears too.