Yolo (18 page)

mad maddie:

that's what I do when I'm depressed. I let myself sulk for an hour or a day or whatever, and then I say, “ok, enough.”

SnowAngel:

an hour or a day? hahaha. or a week or a month or a year . . .

mad maddie:

don't be mean. c'mon, even you get depressed sometimes.

SnowAngel:

hmm. I'm not happy every minute of every day, true. but most of the time I kind of am.

SnowAngel:

also, I think I get grumpy instead of depressed—and instead of moping, I share my grumpy feelings with y'all! because I love you!

mad maddie:

whereas I just shove my unwanted feelings under the rug and pretend everything's hunky-dory.

SnowAngel:

silly Maddie. everying IS hunky-dory!

SnowAngel:

wanna hear a cute story about Reid that made me think of you?

mad maddie:

why does Reid make you think of me?

SnowAngel:

he doesn't. shush and listen.

mad maddie:

yes ma'am

SnowAngel:

earlier tonight, I had an insane craving for an almond croissant, which doesn't sound like me, I know. but college changes a girl.

mad maddie:

ah. such wisdom.

SnowAngel:

I know, right?

SnowAngel:

so Reid said he'd go get me one. only he doesn't have a car, so he had to bike to the bakery that sells them, only he got there just after they closed. boo!

SnowAngel:

soooooo, Reid biked to Dunkin' Donuts, which is on the completely opposite side of town from the bakery, and he bought me a dozen donuts. wasn't that sweet? and do you understand now why it made me think of you? cuz of the donuts!

mad maddie:

what flave

SnowAngel:

an assortment, since he didn't know what my favorite was. he brought them to me at the Zeta house, and I shared them with my sorority sisters, and everyone was like, “awww, what a cutie-pie. he shld be our mascot.” and . . . yeah.

mad maddie:

wow. that must have made him feel manly.

SnowAngel:

I hear that tone you're using! you are judging me and assuming I'm using Reid or whatever, when really what you shld be noticing is that I invited him TO THE ZETA HOUSE, which shows that I wasn't embarrassed of him. isn't that good?

mad maddie:

you permitted him to come to your sorority house bearing fried delicacies. you're a peach, all right.

mad maddie:

did you give him a blow job to express your gratitude?

SnowAngel:

gross!!!!

SnowAngel:

no, I did not, and you're missing the point. I am simply admitting that YES, I LIKE REID. I'm not saying he's boyfriend material, but the little fella's growing on me.

mad maddie:

Angela? if one person mentions a blow job, and the other person responds by saying, “the little fella's growing on me . . .”

SnowAngel:

omg

mad maddie:

hot tip: if you stroke the little fella, the little fella will grow and grow until—hopefully—he's a big, firm fella. then wld he be boyfriend material?

SnowAngel:

SO inappro-pro. zero donuts for you, missy!!!

SnowAngel:

what? NO!

SnowAngel:

Logan was a high school boy. I was a high school girl.

SnowAngel:

NO, Reid is not a new Logan. and Maddie. ouch.

mad maddie:

but he does adore you unquestioningly

SnowAngel:

actually, for the record, he doesn't. hmmph.

mad maddie:

not to be skeptical, but really?

SnowAngel:

well, he does adore me, yes. *blushes modestly*

SnowAngel:

but unlike Logan, he also gives me crap about stuff—like not going to my geology lab and how there's no reason for me to wear hard-to-walk-in skirts if I don't want to (I happened to mention one day how tricky miniskirts cld be) and things like that.

SnowAngel:

also, he is very supportive of my business acumen (yes, acumen!) and makes me feel like I *could* be a businesswoman if I wanted to. one day. like, that I'm smart enough.

mad maddie:

of course you're smart enough, dum-dum. jeebus.

SnowAngel:

I'm just saying HE'S NOT LOGAN, cuz he sees *me* and not just silly cute giggly me. so there!

SnowAngel:

have you set yr reset button yet?

zoegirl:

no comment

SnowAngel:

well that's stupid

SnowAngel:

wanna hear something else stupid?

SnowAngel:

yesterday Maddie and I were talking about blow jobs (don't ask), and then tonight when I went to the Zeta house for dinner, the topic came up again.

zoegirl:

don't really want to talk about blow jobs, Angela.

SnowAngel:

sure ya do. unless—hint hint—you have something better to do . . . ?

zoegirl:

fine, tell me

SnowAngel:

I was sitting with some other pledges, and they said that the pledges in Sigma Phi were EXPECTED to give the guys in a certain fraternity blow jobs. like, expected to give blow jobs just the way they're expected to show up at chapter meetings.

SnowAngel:

don't you think that is SO wrong?

zoegirl:

um, yeahhhhh. it can't be true, though. do you think it's true?

SnowAngel:

I dunno, but if any of the actives asked me to do that? no ma'am and buh-bye. horrible, horrible, horrible.

zoegirl:

what's an “active”?

SnowAngel:

someone who's been initiated. in other words, not me, cuz I'm still a pledge.

SnowAngel:

another pledge at my table said that last week the Delta Theta pledges had to dress like hos and walk the streets of downtown Athens for three hours.

zoegirl:

ugh

SnowAngel:

I know. compared with giving blow jobs and being hos, eating cheese sandwiches for a week was nothing.

zoegirl:

do you know any girls from those other sororities personally?

SnowAngel:

ha. no.

SnowAngel:

I haven't even learned the names of all the Zetas, altho I better, cuz at some point we're going to be given a pop quiz. rewards if we ace it, punishment if we don't.

zoegirl:

what would the reward be?

SnowAngel:

probably candy. we usually have our pledge class
meetings on the back porch, and Natalia, our pledge class leader, throws candy at us afterward.

zoegirl:

candy? I thought sorority girls were supposed to be skinny.

SnowAngel:

huh. we are. that's weird that they wld throw candy at us, then, isn't it?

zoegirl:

so what would the punishment be? although I'm scared to ask.

SnowAngel:

oh, we'd have to clean up the house, or maybe just the bathrooms. or if only one girl fails, she might have to be a personal assistant for one of the older Zetas for a week. something like that.

SnowAngel:

I have one last horror story for you. there's a girl in my pledge class named Brittney, and she told us that her big sister (her REAL big sister, as in yes, they grew up together and have the same parents) went to Florida State.

SnowAngel:

Brittney's sister was in a sorority for a while, but she dropped out when she found out about a tradition one of the FSU frats had.

SnowAngel:

supposedly the fraternity pledges had to prove their manhood by asking a girl to a house party and getting her wasted by slipping a roofie into her drink. then he'd take her to a “special room” and have sex with her, even if she was passed out.

zoegirl:

Angela. that's rape.

SnowAngel:

just wait. the special room had a big glass window with a wide ledge beneath it, and the other guys in the frat wld stand on the ledge and watch. they'd take pics, cheer the pledge on, whatever.

zoegirl:

omigod

SnowAngel:

uh-huh. they called those parties “ledge parties.”

SnowAngel:

but that was at FSU. I've never heard of anything like that happening at UGA.

zoegirl:

maybe I should have gone to a women's college.

zoegirl:

maybe I should join a convent and dedicate my life to charity work.

SnowAngel:

but where's the fun in that?

SnowAngel:

SOME partying is good and healthy and normal, Zo. and some guys are dicks, but not all of them. not even most of them.

SnowAngel:

do charity work later. right now you shld just enjoy yourself!!!