Where Words Fail (15 page)

Paul would be staying in the main house instead of his house on the other side of the land. Even though he was less than a two minute drive away, he said he would feel better being right here, and he would do a sweep of the house every hour or so. His attentiveness calmed some of my nerves towards Abby being safe.

A few hours later, after Officer Cooper had left, we sat down for dinner. A warrant was issued for Matt’s arrest because he broke his parole by going near Izzy. Thankfully, they were smart enough to put Izzy and Alex on the protection order also.

Izzy finally calmed down after Alex and Abby explained everything to her, and they tucked her into bed. She actually thought all this was her fault, and her tears broke my heart almost as much as Abby’s did. For being six, she’s an extremely smart girl. She doesn’t like to be lied to and calmed down a lot faster after knowing everything that was going on.

Eleven o’clock rolled around before I decided to make my way back to the apartment above the barn. AJ and Jason were close to follow behind, but Tuesday said she was staying put. However, she wasn’t talking to us when she said it. Nope, her eyes never left Alex. It’s about time too. I’ve seen the way the two of them look at each other except they both play it off like it’s nothing. Like it’s a line neither one can cross but after, today’s events, it looks like they are pushing that line back a bit.

I’ve tried TV. I’ve tried a hot shower, and I’ve tried just lying there. Hell even counting sheep wasn’t working tonight. Not that counting sheep usually worked but still... I’ve tried, but can’t fall asleep. My mind just won’t shut off. It keeps tossing around phrases from throughout the day. The major one being ‘the first time he smashed my head off the kitchen sink’. It makes me think there was more than one time that happened, and that makes me sick. I grew up with an abusive father, so I stick by the rule of never laying a hand on a woman. That poor fucker better hope he never crosses my path.

I was lying in bed with my head buried under one of the pillows trying hard to get the horrible thoughts out of my head when my phone beeped.

Abby-long shot seeing as its 2 am... but... u still awake?

Jameson-yeah, what’s up?

Abby-I’m sorry...

What the hell is she sorry for? Being perfect? Going through all of this shit? Because if that’s it, I’ll have to set her straight. If it hadn’t been for me just up and leaving she wouldn’t have gone through any of that.

Jameson-...sorry for what Abby?

It took everything in me not to call her babe. I know I’ve slipped up on that a few times already.

Abby-for not telling you...

Jameson-not something I figure you like talking about. Why are you still up?

Abby-Can’t sleep, what are u doin?

Jameson-layin here talkin to you. You?

Abby- sittin outside ur door. I couldn’t lay in bed alone anymore.

I jumped out of bed so fast my head swam. Hitting the door in record time, I yanked it open and Abby fell backwards into the apartment. She hadn’t just been sitting outside my door, she was sitting against it.

“Hey.” I stared down at her. I bit the inside of my lip trying not to laugh.

“Sup home slice?” She giggled. Her eyes were bloodshot, like she had been drinking. Her hair was all over the place as she laid on the floor. My eyes skimmed over everything in front of me. The short shorts she had on were killing me and all I wanted to do was trace my tongue over the bare patch of skin between her green tank top and shorts.

“You drunk or somethin’?”

“Moonshine baby!” I extended my hand for her and pulled her back to her feet. Drunk Abby chose to come to me because she couldn’t sleep. I was making headway.

“That shits gunna be the death of you darlin’.”

“You complainin’ about me with my moonshine, Mr. Williams?”

“Nope, not one bit. It got you to talk to me last time and this time you ended up at my door at two am. Not complaining one bit, babe.”

Abby’s cheeks took on a shade of pink. It’s not often I can make her blush anymore. Being in the public eye constantly took away the innocent girl I loved when she was a teenager. “I love it when he calls me babe.” I just smiled as she spoke to the floor. I didn’t think she had meant to say it out loud, so I was letting it slide for now because she was drunk, but I’ve always been told that drunk words were sober thoughts, so it’ll stick with me. “You look good with no shirt on. You should like... Never wear one.” If it meant that she would keep coming to me, then I would never wear a shirt again.

“What’re you doin’ here babe?”

“Couldn’t sleep...” She shrugged.

“So... You came to me?”

She shrugged again. “Can I sleep with you?” Holy hell. Even when we were together we never actually had a chance to sleep together. Mind blowing sex… Yes. Sleeping together... No. I grabbed her hand as fast as I could and pulled her towards my bedroom and onto the bed beside me. I pushed myself to my side of the bed, so she would have plenty of room. I wasn’t going to push her any faster than she wanted to go and being drunk I knew she would probably make some decisions she would regret in the morning, so I wasn’t going to let her make too many. That would be something that might just kill me before the morning rolls around. “Tuesday’s usually my bed buddy... But she has a new buddy tonight.” She giggled. God I love that sound.

“Alex?” She nodded and giggled again. “’Bout time.”

“Right! I’m so glad I’m not the only one that thinks that.” She slapped my chest. “Hey, why are you so far away?”

“Just layin’ here, babe. Where do you want me?”

She patted the bed next to her and nodded her head to the side until I inched close enough for her liking. “Right here. I want you right here.” Her forehead was resting on my chest with my arm under her head and she was drawing lazy circles over my chest. Circles that were causing my body to overheat. “I’m scared.”

“’Bout what, babe?” Now that I knew she liked me calling her that I didn’t plan on stopping unless she told me to.

“I’m scared he’s going to hurt me again... But I’m terrified he’s going to hurt Izzy.”

“That’s what the nightmares were about on the bus, weren’t they?”

“Yeah... I’m afraid he’s going to do it again.”

“Never gunna happen.”

“How can you be so sure? He got to her already and he’s hurt me before. That’s why I took all those self-defense classes... I was scared he was going to come back.”

“Never going to happen because I won’t let anything or anyone hurt you.”

“You hurt me.” Ouch. Knife. Straight to the fucking heart, but totally true. I hurt us both.

“I know. I’m scum, but I won’t let anything else happen to you ever again.” I kissed the top of her head and smoothed down her hair.

“You still love me...?” She yawned into my chest. Did she not already know the answer to this question? Hell, I know she did, but I would never deny her the chance to hear it again.

“Never stopped lovin’ you, babe.”

She snuggled in a bit closer till she was touching me from head to toe. “Good. Me too. Te quiero, Jameson, te fucking quiero.” Holy fuck! I tightened my grip around her as the realization dawned on me that I had only heard her say that to Alex and Izzy. Everyone else she just tells them she loves them. “I’m still not ready to be more than friends though.”

“I know, babe. Take your time... I’m not going anywhere.”

Abby

I don’t know what got into me last night. I’ve never gone to sleep with anyone other than Tuesday since I left Matt. Actually, it wasn’t like me to be comfortable enough with someone to sleep next to them. I remember crawling into bed with Alex when we were younger, right after our parents died but other than that it was just Tuesday. Now it was Tuesday crawling into bed with Alex, and I was left alone.

Yeah, I could have gone to AJ or Jason, I love them and all, but that made me feel weird when I thought about lying next to them trying to sleep. That left Jameson. He was the last person I wanted to crawl into bed with and spill the fact that I was terrified.

That was until I hit the alcohol cabinet. God damn moonshine gets the best of me every time. I must have sat outside his door for over an hour staring at the patterns in the wood grain before I got up the nerve to text him. I heard him hop in the shower and everything before the alcohol hit me hard enough. All I could imagine was the water beading off his skin, running over the ridges of his muscles. I was totally jealous of the damn water. Which is why I texted him.

Allen, the guy who was keeping watch over the barn, kept checking on me to make sure I was ok. He looked sorry for me. I was quite pathetic looking though, so it was understandable. My hair was a mess. I had been crying for the past few hours, and I walked over here barefoot in a pair of short shorts and a tank top. I was a total disaster and had to tell him I was fine, and that I would scream if I didn’t feel safe. That was the only way to get him to leave me alone.

After literally falling into the apartment when Jameson swung the door open I had to try hard to keep myself from drooling. He was all hard muscle, tan skin and tattoos. When I asked to sleep with him, I didn’t think I was going to sleep so well. Hell, I had wet dreams about him while I was awake and lying on his floor, so I didn’t think I was going to sleep at all. I figured he would talk to me, and I would still toss and turn while he slept after he made me feel better. Boy was I wrong!

When I had fallen asleep, I was wrapped up with my face buried in his chest with the smell of him comforting me, trying hard not to drool. He had given me my space, which was almost the entire bed, until my drunk ass practically dragged him on top of me. But to my surprise, he didn’t try anything.

Waking up had been hard. Between the ache in my head from the moonshine and the ache between my thighs from being so close to Jameson, I wasn’t sure which was worse. He wasn’t helping that matter either this morning. I was pulled against him, my back to his front, and his legs tangled around mine. The arm that had been under me all night was still there, but now it was cupping my breast while the other hand was no longer entwined with mine but laying over my hip with his fingers hooked into the waistband of my shorts. I know all I would have to do is say ok and his fingers would work their way down. Right to the exact spot that I need them. Jameson always knew what to do with his fingers.

I wiggled my ass trying to gain a few inches between us, so I wouldn’t overheat or do something I’d regret later. But he was having none of that. He groaned as he pulled me back to him and thrust his hips towards my ass. God, it took everything in me not to moan and flip over. There, nestled between my ass cheeks was one of the thickest cocks I think I’ve ever felt. Seems that every part of Jameson had grown since the last time I had been with him.

I knew he was still sleeping. His breath was still even as he moved his hips ever so slightly back and forth.
As I arched my back and pushed my chest towards his hand, his fingers began to twitch. It wasn’t long until his fingers took on the task of rolling my nipple between them. I know he’s awake now. His fingers on his other hand were drawing back and forth under the edge of my shorts on my hips causing me to get wetter.
All the motions were beginning to become too much for me to handle, and I let a moan slip. Jameson stilled but didn’t remove himself from where he was.

“This doesn’t seem very friend-like to me...” His deep voice pulled me from my haze.

“Nope,” I squeaked. “Not really friend-like at all.” He released his hold on me and backed up. I nearly whimpered at the loss of contact.

“Sorry, babe. Didn’t mean to cross any lines.”

I sat up and swung my legs over the edge of the bed. “No worries. Sorry for crowding your space last night. Thanks for making me feel safe though.” Jameson pulled me back down so I was laying on the bed facing him, and he ran his fingers through his messy bed hair.

“I never want you to not feel safe... So anytime you need me, you come to me. You can even come to me when you do feel safe, ok?”

Just as I started to speak someone started banging on the door screaming for Jameson. He jumped and made a beeline for the door. Stopping and telling them to hang on a second while he adjusted himself to make his hard on appear less noticeable. When he pulled the door open, he was almost trampled over by Alex and Paul.