Whatever It Takes (Second Chances #2) (17 page)

I heard the sharp intake of his breath and almost smiled. He made me feel like the sexiest woman on the planet. I arched my back as much as I could and he surged inside me, driving harder now.

“You are not playing fair,” he growled, punctuating each word with a harder thrust of his hips.

The angle was perfect, and with every stroke he hit the bundle of nerves just inside me. Every stroke brought me closer and closer.

I moaned his name, long and loud, and he lifted my hips off the counter so that I was supporting all of my weight, but the small change was all it took to send me flying over the edge. The tension in my body ebbed and flowed in waves of pure pleasure.

Ryan crowded over me and drove with faster and faster movement. He caught my lips and our tongues tangled in urgency. Then, he stilled and his deep groan filled my mouth while he pulsated inside me.

Finally he leaned back with a gasp then laid his forehead against mine. My legs were like rubber and slid down the outside of his thighs. We stayed like that, still connected, gazes locked while we both caught our breath.

“Fuck, Tess,” he said, raining soft kisses along the corner of my lips. “That was . . . incredible.”

His fingers slid into my hair and he pulled my head down to his chest, holding me there while his free hand stroked up and down my back. His heartbeat still pounded an erratic rhythm in his chest, in time with my own.

It was . . . amazing.

I knew that it was only that way because it was Ryan, because I . . . I choked on the word, but my relaxed brain filled in the spot . . . because I loved him.

I buried my face in his neck and hoped the moisture from the steam would hide the tears. I loved him with all my heart and I had to leave him. Again.

Why the hell was my life so messed up?

Didn’t I deserve to be happy after everything I’d sacrificed?

I wanted to tell him so badly, but that would only make the pain of leaving him a hundred times worse. Let him think that we parted as just a casual hookup. That hearts were not involved this time.

I kissed the spot right over his heart, then slid off the counter.

As far as goodbyes went, I already knew this one was going to be the best and worst of my life.

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

ryan

T
ess had fucking rocked my world.

I wasn’t prepared for how much it would affect me, but I knew the reason why. All those other girls were just sex. With Tess there was something else. Something that should have freaked me out to the moon and back, but it didn’t.

I loved her.

I fucking loved her so much that all I could think about was her. Her smile. Her laugh. Those fucking ponytails she wore to work. I loved every single part of her. And as soon as Avery’s father let me know everything was taken care of, I was going to tell her.

Me. The me who swore he was never settling down with one woman, wanted to do exactly that. And with a kid in the picture to boot. The craziest part was none of it freaked me out. I was looking forward to this new chapter.

I was actually excited about being a one-woman man.

Seth was going to give me shit about this for years.

I didn’t even care.

My phone buzzed Friday morning and Avery’s name popped up on the screen.

“Hey, Ave.”

“Ryan. So my father sent all the paperwork to Tess’s father’s attorney and he heard back from him about five minutes ago.”

My heart stuttered and slammed into my chest. “And?”

“And . . . he took your offer. He signed everything and all my father has to do is file it with the courts and the adoption will be all set. Tess will be Noah’s permanent guardian.” The happiness in her voice made me want to jump in the air.

“How long does the filing take? When will Tess find out?”

“He’s sending everything over now, so she should get the official paperwork this afternoon, since I made sure that they would be delivered via courier. I know how anxious you are to get them to her.” If Avery were standing next to me I would have hugged her.

“God, Avery, you are amazing. I couldn’t have done any of this without your help. I owe you big-time.”

“I’m glad it worked out and that little boy will have a good life.” Avery had changed her major from corporate law to family law to help people in just this way. “What you did was selfless, Ry. Not many people would have done that.”

“Anything for Tess.”

“Are you going to tell her what you did?” she asked.

I didn’t know the answer to that yet. “I’m not sure.”

Avery was quiet for a minute. “Are you going to tell her that you’re in love with her?”

I chuckled. “That I can and plan on doing very soon.”

I could hear the smile in her voice. “Good.”

“So by this afternoon Tess should know?”

“Yes.”

“I guess it’s going to be a pretty eventful day, then.”

Avery just laughed. “You bad boys always fall the hardest.”

T
ess usually left for work around four, so at two thirty I called her. It went straight to voice mail. I left her a quick message, that I was thinking about her, and waited.

Maybe she was celebrating? But why wouldn’t she call me first?

Getting custody of Noah would be a huge deal for her.

Without making it obvious, I couldn’t just show up and ask her if she got some good news today, but I could get off work early and show up before she left “just because.” After last night, I could say I couldn’t get her out of my mind, which was the truth. God, I fucking loved her so much.

I was grinning like an idiot when I pulled into her parking lot just before four.

Her car wasn’t there. I knew Louisa lived in 4C and she usually looked after Noah when Tess worked, so I got out of the truck and went to her door.

When Louisa pulled open the door, she looked surprised to see me. A feeling of dread started creeping into my gut, but I tried to push it away. “Hello, Ryan.”

“Have you seen Tess today?”

Confusion crossed her face. “She came by earlier and said that she and Noah were spending the night with a friend. I thought she meant you.” Louisa’s eyebrows drew down. “She put some boxes in her car before they left.”

It felt like I’d swallowed a brick. “Do you still have a key to her place?” I had to see for myself if what my gut said was true. Because it couldn’t be. Not when I was so close. Louisa handed me a key. “Did you see anyone go to her door today?”

“I was gone all morning and came home around two. That’s when Tess came down to tell me I had the night off even though she paid me for the whole week already.”

Shit. I turned and jogged to her steps, then took them two at a time. Maybe she had to do laundry? Maybe she was out celebrating with Noah? Maybe . . . no, she could not be gone. I jammed the key into the lock and pushed open the door.

She was definitely gone.

Not that her place had a lot to start with, but it was the little things. The striped pillow she loved that was always on the couch. Noah’s blocks that never left the living room. I walked to the bathroom. There was nothing in the shower; no shampoo or body wash or even soap. The candles were gone too.

I sent Avery a text.
Did the papers get delivered today?

Because if they were, this made no sense at all.

I was going through empty drawers in the bedroom when my phone rang. Without thinking I hit Accept. “Tess?”

“It’s Avery, Ryan. What’s going on?”

“Tess is gone. Her place is cleaned out. Did she get the papers today?” I paced up and down the hallway. She was definitely not here anymore.

“I called my dad right after you texted. The courier brought the papers back to his office. He said that when he tried to deliver them, a woman slammed the door in his face. I assume that must have been Tess?”

“That makes no sense.” I made my way into the kitchen. A last-ditch effort to try to convince myself she was coming back. The fridge was empty but a slip of paper on the table caught my eye.

The note was short, but it was to me. She knew I’d come looking for them.

Ryan,

I’m sorry I didn’t get to say goodbye, but maybe it’s better this way. I’m afraid I can’t stay here any longer. I think my father is going to try to take Noah before the hearing and I can’t let him.

For what it’s worth, the last month has been the best in a very
long time. Don’t shut yourself away from love. You deserve to be happy.

All my love,

Tess

“Ryan?” Avery’s worried voice came over the line. I heard Seth in the background asking what was wrong, and then Avery whispered she didn’t know. “Ryan? Are you still there?”

“She’s gone,” I croaked. “There’s a note.”

“Shit,” Avery said. The line was quiet, then Avery spoke again. “Technically she isn’t breaking the law now, so that’s good.”

“But she’s fucking gone.” I crumpled up the note and shoved it in my pocket. Damn it. Why didn’t she wait? Why did she slam the door in the courier’s face?

I think my father is going to try to take Noah before the hearing.

“Fuck,” I growled, forgetting I was still on the phone.

“What? Did you find something else?” Now Seth was on the phone, and I swore again.

“She thought the courier was someone bringing her more bad news. That’s why she slammed the door in his face. That’s why she ran.” Fuck it. I had to figure out how to get in touch with her. Let her know that everything was okay. “Look, I’ll call you later. I need to find Tess.”

“Where the hell are you even going to start looking?” Seth asked.

“I don’t have the first fucking clue, man.”

As soon as I ended the call, I pushed Tess’s number. It went straight to voice mail.

“Tess, you need to call me as soon as you get this. You don’t have to run. Just . . . call me, please.”

I hung up and jumped back into my truck, but after I started it I just sat there.

She never said where she thought about going. I didn’t know if she went east or west. I slammed my hands into the steering wheel and shoved the truck into reverse. Damn it, she had to call me back.

A sick feeling settled in my stomach.

What the hell was I going to do if she never did?

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

tess

I
made it all the way out of North Carolina before Noah had to use the bathroom.

It took my heart about as long to stop thumping in my chest. That man from earlier, the one with the paperwork that had to be from my father, scared the shit out of me.

It took us about an hour to pack up everything and I told Noah we were going on a trip. I hated giving up that night’s tips; they would have put me way over my goal, but I didn’t want to take the chance.

What if someone came back while I was at work and
took
Noah?

That alone sent me into the biggest panic of my life.

I really had no idea where we were going, and I had to figure it out soon because just driving around was going to eat up all my gas and then, a chunk of money. We’d have to stop soon for the night anyway, so after I put Noah to bed, I’d get my shit together.

“Okay, buddy, let’s go to the bathroom and get some snacks.” The rest stop I pulled over at was one of the nicer ones. The bathrooms were clean and the vending machines full. I grabbed some Goldfish and an apple juice for Noah and a granola bar and water for myself.

Once we found a hotel, I’d get us some real dinner.

A map on the wall showed that about twenty miles farther there were hotels and gas and food.

“Just a little bit more and then we can stop and stay in a hotel for the night. Sounds like an adventure, huh?” I asked with more cheer than I felt.

“When are we going home?” Noah asked. His bottom lip quivered and he hugged the ratty stuffed dog that I bought him the very day I started taking care of him.

I reached down and picked him up. He immediately threw his arms around my neck and buried his face. My heart felt like it was going to explode.

“Let’s sleep on it, and tomorrow we can look at a map together. That will be fun, right?” He shook his head and I sighed. I was tired, he was tired, and I had about as much of a clue as he did right now.

I carried him to the car and opened his snacks, then stretched my arms over my head. We’d been running for only a few hours. How could I do this for the rest of my life? I didn’t even have time to get the fake ID that Mia’s friend was taking care of. How the hell was I supposed to disappear as myself? Tears burned my eyes and I had to take a deep breath.

I ached to feel Ryan’s arms around me. To hear him say everything would be okay.

But that wasn’t possible and I had no other choice.

I got back into the car and pulled out of the rest stop. This was my reality, and I had to figure out how to make it work. That was the simple truth of it all. That’s all I had anymore.

N
oah was awake already when I opened my eyes. He was sitting on the floor playing with his blocks and I couldn’t remember the last time he had not woken me up as soon as he opened his eyes.

“Whatcha doing?” My voice was scratchy from the air-conditioning that had been on all night and I sat up and rubbed my eyes. The clock said it was 6:22.

Noah didn’t look at me. “Playin’.”

“I’ll get dressed, then we can get some breakfast, okay?”

I sighed. He was never this quiet. “What’s wrong?”

He finally turned to look at me and his bottom lip quivered. “Are we going home now?”

The tears I’d been fighting since I pulled out of the parking lot of our apartment finally spilled over. I ducked my head so that he wouldn’t see them and pressed my hand over my mouth.

“I’m sorry,” I finally said when I wasn’t on the verge of breaking down completely. “I’m trying to do the right thing, except I don’t know what I’m even doing.”

What
was
I doing?

I was kidnapping Noah, that’s what. In the eyes of the law, he didn’t belong to me. Right now, I technically was his guardian, but in a couple of weeks that could all change. In a couple of weeks, if I didn’t show up at court, I’d be breaking the law.

My stomach twisted into knots.

Now that I was sitting in a cold hotel room that smelled like disinfectant, I realized that this might be my life—Noah’s life. The tears streamed down my face. I’d never be able to finish college, get a real job, or enroll Noah in school.

I dropped my face into my hands.

I’d been trying to give Noah a life and I was the one taking it away from him.

But if I went back and my father got his way, I’d lose Noah forever.

What the hell was I supposed to do?

I took a deep breath. I had two weeks to decide. Two weeks of pretending that my life wasn’t going to change, one way or the other.

“You know what?” I asked, wiping away the tears. “How about if we drive to the beach and stay there for a week? We can build sand castles and have picnics and walk in the water. How does that sound?”

Noah jumped up and ran over to the bed. He pulled himself up and started jumping up and down. “Yes, yes, yes,” he chanted.

When he was done I grabbed him and held him tight.

“I love you so much, baby boy,” I whispered into his ear.

He pulled back, looking indignant. “I’m not a baby. I’m four now.”

“You’re right. I love you so much, big boy.”

“I love you too.”