Whatever It Takes (Second Chances #2) (13 page)

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

tess

“
D
ude, that was awesome!” Ryan shouted.

Noah ran over and gave Ryan a high five and I couldn’t help but smile. When Ryan showed up with the basketball and very short hoop, I almost said no. I knew that Noah deserved all kinds of fun stuff, but right now I just couldn’t afford it.

It made something burn inside my chest that I couldn’t do something so basic for Noah.

Ryan asked me first before giving it to Noah, though, so it wasn’t a complete blindside. I knew Noah would love it and I caved. He should have more than some blocks and an old plastic toolbox to play with.

He and Ryan had been in the corner of the parking lot for an hour shooting hoops. It was hilarious to watch Ryan goofing off while slam-dunking that three-foot hoop. He taught Noah how to do the same thing, and I think my heart grew three sizes watching them together.

It would be so easy to pretend we were a real family. Something I never quite let myself think about because I could just never see a man in my life. Until Ryan came back into it.

I exhaled and carried the plate of brownies over to them. It was the least I could do. I had a couple of store-brand sodas and a juice box in a bag too.

“Break time,” I called out. “Who wants brownies?”

A chorus of
me
was the answer. Ryan and Noah jogged over to the curb where I sat down and held out the plate. I’d cut the brownies into small squares so that Noah could have more than one. Ryan plopped down next to me and grabbed two.

“Oh, my God, these are amazing,” he said around a mouthful of chocolate. I handed him a can of no-name ginger ale and he didn’t even blink before popping it open and downing half the can in one swallow. He grabbed two more brownies and lay back on the grass.

“They’re just a box mix,” I admitted.

I popped the straw through Noah’s juice box and handed it to him to wash down the brownie he was wearing more of than eating.

Ryan held his arm over his head and glanced at me. “No one ever bakes for me. These are divine. You could win some baking-war show with these.”

Heat climbed up my face and I nudged him in the side. “They’re a box mix. Hardly even worth mentioning.”

Noah took another brownie bite off the plate.

“Last one. Don’t want to spoil your lunch, ’kay?” I said, trying not to get too distracted by the way Ryan’s shirt clung to him and his muscles bunched and rippled whenever he moved.

“Aw, man. How come Ryan got four?” Noah stuck out his bottom lip and I tried not to laugh.

“Ryan is a lot bigger than you. When you grow up you can eat brownies for breakfast, lunch, and dinner if you want.” Noah’s eyes got so wide I thought they would pop out, and I laughed.

“It’s true, buddy,” Ryan said. “And if Tess made these every day, I’d totally do it.” He reached around me and took two more and shoved them in his mouth. The groans and moans coming from him were bordering on X-rated.

I elbowed him in the side. “They’re. A. Box. Mix. And a store-brand one at that.”

Ryan wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me as close as possible. “Stop arguing with me, Tess,” he said in my ear. “They are the best goddamned brownies I’ve had because no one has made me brownies since my mom left.”

My heart skipped a beat. God, now I wanted to run back upstairs and bake him a dozen more pans.

“I’m sorry.” I kissed the side of his neck and then laid my head on his shoulder. “I remember she always smelled like vanilla and she made us sandwiches with the crust cut off. She reminded me of a princess, so poised and nice all the time. And her hair and makeup were always perfect. I wanted to be just like her when I grew up. One time I drank my hot chocolate with my pinky sticking out like she did. Do you ever hear from her?”

He tensed under me and I wanted to take back the question. So far today, things had been light and fun and here I was ruining the mood. Noah had finished his juice box and was practicing his new dunking skills.

Which pretty much were him running up to the net and bouncing the ball off the rim, but he never gave up.

I turned back to Ryan and saw the scowl on his face. “Never mind. You don’t have to answer that,” I said. “It’s not any of my business.”

He exhaled long and loud. “Not really. When I turned eighteen she mailed these papers to me. I guess she set up some trust fund in my name.” A sharp hollow laugh escaped from him. “Apparently the going price for forgetting about your kid was around thirty thousand.”

There was so much pain and bitterness in his voice. How could a mother do that, just walk away? I wasn’t even Noah’s real mother and I couldn’t imagine ever leaving him. I tightened my hold on Ryan’s arm because there was nothing I could say.

“It’s really her fault, you know.” His words were so low that I barely heard them. “Why I can’t let myself take that chance. The people you love leave and then what are you left with? My dad has been a ghost for the past six years.”

I wanted to cry. I was one of those people. And yes, it might have been years ago when we were just teenagers, but our connection had been real and I had walked away without any kind of explanation. God, I wanted to go back and kick myself in the ass. What I gave up . . .

Hindsight is a bitch.

“You know the crazy thing?” he said, resting one arm on a bent knee. “A couple of weeks ago some crazy neighbor moved in and she and my father immediately clashed, but the other night, he cooked for her. Fucking homemade meatballs. Why the hell do people pull themselves out of the dark to put themselves right back where they started?”

“What do you mean?” I set the plate of brownies down and turned toward him. I liked this, being close to him, talking about things that mattered.

“My father stopped existing basically because my mother left us. Now he’s back to himself again like none of it happened, and it’s because of a woman? Why?”

I traced my finger up and down his arm. “Maybe he was lonely?”

He didn’t say anything for so long that I thought I might have crossed a line. Finally he looked up from where I was touching him. “Maybe,” he said quietly.

“I’m sorry, Ryan. It can’t have been easy reversing roles that young and having to take care of him.”

He ran his fingers over my jaw, then tilted my head up. His eyes glittered with emotion that took my breath away. I wanted so badly for him to tell me this wasn’t just a temporary thing we were doing here. But really, could I blame him for not wanting to take a chance? I walked away first, then his mom. I can’t even imagine what he went through.

I remembered his mom. She always had a smile and a hug when Ryan and I hung out at his house. She baked cookies and made amazing fried chicken. Nothing said she wasn’t happy. I never saw anything but love on her face when Ryan was in the room with her.

I wished that he could have answers.

“It’s okay, Tess. I got over it a long time ago.”

I cupped his cheek before sliding my fingers around to the back of his neck. When I tugged him closer, he came willingly. Our lips met softly and it was only light brushes of touch. He leaned his forehead on mine and we were eye-to-eye.

“I’m suddenly wishing we were inside, where I could show you just how much I liked those brownies.”

I laughed and he grinned. The seriousness of the moment was gone, just as he planned.

“I’ve got a super intense slam dunk competition going on right now, so I’m going to take a couple more for the road.” He grabbed two more brownie bites off the plate, then jumped up.

Noah yelled, “Hey, no fair!” until Ryan jogged over and gave him another one.

The look on Noah’s face was priceless. They bent their heads together munching chocolate and looking over at me while whispering. Noah nodded, and Ryan burst out laughing.

“What are you guys talking about?” I yelled.

“Sorry. Guy talk,” Ryan answered with another grin.

“Yeah, guy talk,” Noah echoed. They high-fived and Ryan grabbed the ball and dribbled it toward the tiny hoop. Noah ran up next to him and “stole” it to make his own shot.

I sat for the next thirty minutes and watched them while my heart grew bigger and bigger. I hadn’t realized how much Noah would need a guy around. I had two left feet and sucked at any kind of sport. How was I supposed to teach him how to throw a baseball or make a touchdown?

Honestly, he never dribbled a basketball until today, and look at what a natural he was at it.

I caught Ryan’s eye and he lifted an eyebrow at me. I didn’t realize I was frowning, so I gave him a smile.

“So I was wondering if I could take you guys out to dinner tonight?” he said while dribbling the ball past Noah. “There’s this place that has great burgers and fries. It’s kid-friendly too.”

I could not remember when going out meant anything other than the dollar menu at a fast-food place.

“Do they got hot dogs?” Noah asked.

“Yep. And they’re that long.” Ryan held out his hands about a foot apart.

“No way,” Noah said, wide-eyed.

“Way.” He bounced the ball to Noah and sauntered over to me. God he was sexy. His T-shirt hugged his torso and he had on dark gray cargo shorts and sneakers that showed all kinds of tanned skin. Of course, he had on his baseball cap.

“It’s Saturday night and usually a popular night to go on a date. So what do you say, can I take you guys on an official date?”

How many guys would include a kid in the invitation? Ryan had without even hesitating. It excited and confused me all at once. This was just a casual thing. Actually, I wasn’t really sure what it was, because aside from some pretty awesome kissing, we hadn’t gone any further because the opportunity just wasn’t there.

I half expected him to fade off in the distance once it was apparent that he might have to wait longer than he thought. Who goes into a hookup situation when actual hooking up was in question?

“Stop thinking so much and just say yes.” Ryan had knelt down in front of me and tilted my chin up with a finger. He brushed his thumb over my bottom lip and heat exploded in my gut. I was anxious for the actual hooking up part too.

His gaze caught and held mine and there was so much promise in it that I wanted to pull him down right there and have my way with him. Maybe tonight. I could get Noah to bed and if Ryan wanted to stay a little late . . .

“Yes,” I said against his thumb.

“I told you she’d say yes,” Ryan said over his shoulder. Noah fist-pumped and jumped up and down.

“Already ganging up on me I see.”

“Us guys gotta stick together.” He leaned in and brushed his lips over mine, then hopped up and grabbed Noah, lifting him high and spinning him upside down to jam the ball into the net.

“I’m going to take this stuff inside,” I said, gathering what was left of the brownies and the empty drinks. Really, I needed to go collect myself. Today showed me that what Ryan and I were doing might not be a good thing. Casual for us worked, but what about Noah? He already idolized Ryan, and every day they spent together tightened that bond.

What was going to happen when Ryan got tired of all this?

When he got tired of playing house with us and was ready to walk away.

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

ryan

I
don’t think I’ve ever met a smarter three-year-old. Well, almost four, since Noah had a birthday coming up soon. Already my mind raced with possibilities for what I could get him.

The restaurant had coloring pages and crayons, and he was doing a damned good job at staying in the lines. Me on the other hand? Not so much.

“How about some tic-tac-toe?” I’d about had it with trying to color the farmer and her tractor with blunt crayons.

“You and Tess play. I’m busy.”

I quirked an eyebrow at her. “You sure you’re up for it? I’m the reigning champion of Granite Estates, I’ll have you know.”

She picked up a red crayon. “Bring it.”

Halfway through the sudden-death match at game five, our food came.

“This isn’t over,” I fake growled at Tess. She threw back her head and laughed, and it took my breath away. She was so beautiful when she let herself get lost in the moment.

I didn’t have a fucking clue what I was doing, but I knew without a doubt that I wanted to be around her all the time. And Noah? I felt ten feet tall and bulletproof every time he grinned at me. I wasn’t sure I’d ever be that guy who settled down, but if I was, this was what I’d want.

“Anyone need anything else?” the waitress asked.

“I’ve got everything I need, thanks,” I said, not taking my eyes off Tess.

She ducked her head, but I saw the smile that turned her lips up.

Noah dug into his hot dog basket and Tess grabbed her burger. The noises coming from her throat as she chewed made my jeans too tight. Did she even know what she was doing to me?

“God, this burger is good.” She grabbed a couple of fries and dunked them in ketchup. “These fries are hand-cut too. This is officially heaven.”

“Wait till dessert. They make a triple-chocolate cake that’s freaking amazing.” Her eyes went dreamy and that’s when I remembered Tess used to have a thing for chocolate. I made a note to bring her chocolates from the place near Avery’s condo. The truffles were pretty damned good.

Noah got a brownie sundae and of course Tess got the triple-chocolate cake, which she shared with me. Every time she lifted her fork to my mouth, I wanted to devour her instead of the cake.

“My turn,” I said, taking my fork and digging it into the cake. I lifted it to her mouth and her tongue darted out first and I tried not to groan. Then she opened her lips and I slid the cake in, and I swear I felt it in my toes when she closed her lips around the fork. “That was not well-thought-out.” I sat back with a sigh.

Tess grinned over at me and I knew she knew what she was doing.

“So there are no rules? Good to know.” I sat with a smirk on my face while she finished her cake. By the time we were finally finished, Noah’s eyelids were drooping like crazy and I ended up carrying him to the truck.

Several smiles followed us out the door. I knew that people probably thought we were a family. It didn’t bother me as much as it should have. Noah fell asleep on the way home, so I carried him up the steps and into the room he shared with Tess.

She tucked him in and I waited in the living room. As soon as she came into the room I stalked over to her and backed her up against the wall. Her pupils dilated and her breath grew short.

“So you like teasing, huh?” I brushed my lips over her collarbone, then up her neck. She shuddered when I bit the soft lobe of her ear. “You were driving me crazy at dinner.” I kissed along her jaw and her arms wound up and around my neck. Her hips moved back and forth and only added to the tightness in my jeans.

“I want you, Ry,” she whispered.

So much for my plan to tease her for half the night. I reached down and gripped her thighs and hefted her up, holding her against the wall with my body. She wrapped her legs around me and rolled her hips. Fuck.

When I took her lips there was no holding back. Our tongues clashed and danced and I could die happy in the hot wetness of her mouth. When I pulled back we were both breathless.

Her eyes were dark and filled with desire, and I know they mirrored my own.

“God, you drive me fucking crazy, Tess.”

“I need you right now.” She tightened her legs, and I groaned.

Emotion pounded through my veins and there was nothing I could do about it. Every day that I spent with her and Noah was another step toward not wanting to let them go.

And that terrified me because what if I tried and couldn’t do it? What if I was the one who ended up walking away?

I leaned my forehead against hers. “You got me, Tess. I’m not going anywhere.”

But it was a promise I had no idea if I could keep.