Wayward Hearts (25 page)

Her question hovered in the air then blew away on the breeze. Maxi shook her head. Did she really expect her brother to answer? She lowered herself to sit cross-legged on the grass.

“I'm so sorry, Drew. I was stupid and selfish, and I regret it every minute of every day.”

She laid her head on her knees and let the sorrow drain out of her along with her tears. Finally she sniffed and wiped her face on her sleeve. “You know, Jason's got himself in a heap of trouble. Looks like we're not meant to be together after all. And I have to learn to live with that.” She ran her fingers through her hair. “I guess I need to accept Jason's decision and move forward with my own life. With my career in New York. As long as I know you're OK and Dad's OK, and that you both forgive me, I think I might be able to do that.”

With a quiet sigh, she waited in silence and listened to the sounds of nature around her. The lilt of the breeze, the cry of a bird overhead.

A thought whispered through her. Maybe it wasn't just Drew's forgiveness she needed.

She bowed her head. “Lord, I'm sorry for being so angry at You for so long. Please forgive me for that, and for my carelessness with Drew, my anger at my father, my neglect of my mother.” She paused. “I need your help to let go of the hatred toward Gloria and Sierra. Change my heart, Lord. Let Your grace soften me, and help me accept your will for my life.”

A sense of rightness filled her being. Slowly, a feeling of peace invaded her tense muscles. When she opened her eyes and looked up at the clear sky, she had to blink twice. Though not a cloud or hint of a storm threatened, a double rainbow streaked across the sky.

Maxi smiled through the remnants of her tears with calm certainty that God had placed the arc there as a sign for her. A sign of hope that everything would be all right after all.

For the first time, she believed it.

 

 

 

 

27

 

Two days after finding Maxi at Gloria's, Jason pulled his truck into the Johnson's driveway. He stared straight ahead, his mind and senses numb. Beside him, Gloria's inane chatter became a muted din in the background that didn't penetrate the fog he'd created around his brain. Now that they'd obtained their marriage license and made arrangements with Nick to do the ceremony, reality sank onto his shoulders like a two-ton load of bricks.

“I'll guess I'll see you tomorrow.”

The change in Gloria's voice pulled him back into his body. She sat looking at him expectantly, waiting for something.

“Maybe. I have an evening shift at the fire station, though. So it may not be 'til the next day.”

Her pouting plump pink lips left him cold. “You can at least call me.”

“I'll try.” His conscience twinged at his less than enthusiastic response. Somehow he had to try harder to make an effort. He twisted in his seat to face her. “Look, Gloria. I need to be honest here. I can't pretend to be madly in love with you when I'm not.”

Her face crumpled, lines appearing on her forehead.

“I want to make this work. But you're going to have to bear with me for a while.” He paused. “With God's help, I'm going to try to be the husband you deserve and the best father I can to this baby. For now, let's start by being friends, and hopefully love will grow with time.”

She studied him for a moment and then nodded. “I can be patient, Jason. After all, we've got the rest of our lives, don't we?”

She exited the truck and walked up the brick walkway to her porch, where she turned to give him a cheery wave before disappearing inside.

Jason scrubbed a hand over his face, Gloria's words echoing in his head.
We've got the rest of our lives, don't we?

If ever he needed God's help, it was now. His mother was so distraught, she would barely speak to him. Bernice's quiet disapproval followed her chair every time she left a room. And Maxi…Well, Maxi would never forgive him. That was a given.

His chest contracted in a painful spasm at the thought. He rubbed an absent hand over the area before shifting the truck into reverse. A pink piece of paper on the floor of the passenger seat caught his eye. He pushed the vehicle into park and reached over to pick up what looked like an appointment card. It must have fallen out of Gloria's purse.

He turned it over and scanned the name.
Kingsville Family Planning Center
. Anxiety snaked up his spine as a hundred thoughts flew through his head.

He read the date on the card. Gloria had an appointment there in two weeks. Maybe it was just a regular pre-natal checkup. But a nagging sense of unease rippled through him. He searched his memory for something Gloria had told him and snapped upright in his seat. She'd said her obstetrician, Dr. Shepherd, worked out of the Kingsville Hospital. So what was she doing going to a Family Planning Center?

Doubts and suspicions swirled through the mist of his mind as he stared at the slip of paper. He had to get to the bottom of this—
now
. Tamping back his anger and confusion, Jason cut the engine and jumped out of the cab.

At that moment, Gloria appeared on the front porch, a confused smile on her face. “You're still here. Did you forget something?”

His feet became rooted to the spot like the ancient willow in the front yard. He swallowed and then slowly held out the appointment card. “You dropped this in my truck.”

She came down the stairs, approaching him with wary hesitation, as though nearing a mad dog on a leash. Maybe his expression gave his thoughts away.

She reached out to take the card from his hand and her fingers brushed his.

“What kind of procedure are you having done at the Kingsville Family Planning Center?” The question erupted from him in a harsh accusatory tone. He hoped his blunt question would be enough to get her to tell the truth.

Horror filled her blue eyes. The cell phone in her hand clattered to the walkway and broke apart, the case flying into the grass.

He clenched his teeth together so hard his jaw ached. Her reaction told him it was nothing as innocent as he'd hoped.

“What are you talking about?” Clearly flustered, she bent to retrieve the fragmented phone.

“The appointment you have booked. What sort of procedure are you having done?”

She straightened, eyes wide. “You called them?”

“I did.” He prayed forgiveness for this tiny lie to further his bluff.

A swatch of red bled across her cheeks. “How dare you—”

“I dare because it involves our child. Now answer the question.”

Her whole body shook like a leaf in a windstorm. She bit her bottom lip and shrugged one shoulder. “Just one of those amnio things. A routine test.”

Jason grabbed her arm, trying to control the urge to shake her until her teeth rattled. “Don't lie to me, Gloria. I know those tests aren't done until much later in the pregnancy, and they aren't routine. You're having an abortion, aren't you?”

Her mouth opened and closed. A film of tears formed in her eyes. She seemed incapable of answering him.

“If you don't tell me the truth, I'll go down to the clinic myself and get them to tell me.”

She gasped. “You have no right—”

“No right?” A red haze obscured his vision. “I have every right. It's my child we're talking about here.”

She wrenched away from him, causing red welts to rise on her skin. Tears now leaked down her cheeks. “It's my body. I can do whatever I want.”

Outrage filled him until he thought he'd explode. “So you were going to marry me and then get rid of our child? And what? Pretend you had a miscarriage?”

She wrapped her arms around her torso and took one step backward, then another.

“I won't let you do this, Gloria. I won't let you get rid of our child like a piece of unwanted trash. I'll get a lawyer and a court injunction to legally prevent you from doing this.”

Real fear and a spark of something else flashed across Gloria's pale face. “You can't do that. You have no legal rights because you're not the father.” Her hand flew to her mouth as though she could recapture the words that had escaped.

His breath whooshed out like he'd been sucker punched. “What did you say?”

She stood, shaking her head.

He took a step toward her, adrenaline pumping through his veins. “I want the truth, Gloria. And I want it now.”

She sank onto one of the porch steps, her shoulders hunched over her knees. Huge sobs shook her body, but he refused to feel sympathy for her. Blonde hair fell like a pale curtain around her as she rocked back and forth.

Jason stood right in front of her, and despite the rage warring for release, softened his voice a notch. “Is this baby mine?”

After several beats of silence, she raised her wet face to look at him. “No,” she whispered and buried her face into her hands, weeping inconsolably.

Jason stood rooted to the spot like one of the statues in their garden and let the words sink in. His mind could not comprehend the depth of her deception. “Whose baby is it?”

Her muffled reply was barely audible. “Marco's.”

Another shaft of pain shot through him. She'd lied to him about Marco. His former best friend had finally succeeded in getting one of Jason's girlfriends to sleep with him. And now Gloria wanted him to raise Marco's child? How could she do this to him? “Why me? Why not Marco?”

She lifted her head again. “Because I love you, not him. I always have, Jason.”

He gave a harsh laugh. “You have a funny way of showing it. Sleeping with my best friend.”

“It wasn't like that. I turned Marco down every time. Until after you dumped me. I felt so betrayed. So used. I wanted to get back at you for hurting me that way.”

Remembering back, guilt and regret rose in his chest. Shame over his own failings had colored his thinking after that one night of indiscretion. He'd been convinced Gloria had seduced him on purpose and anger had him believing she deserved no explanation for his actions. He'd been mistaken.

“I'm sorry,” he said, his voice gruff. “I never knew you had feelings for me. I thought it was all a big game to you.”

More tears trickled down her cheeks. “I could never get your attention, Jason. When you finally asked me out, I was thrilled. But it wasn't long before I could feel you pulling away. I had to do something to keep you around. I thought if we slept together, you'd feel something for me, too.” She gulped back a sob. “I wanted this baby to be yours.”

He felt a tug of sympathy for her despite everything she'd done. The one thing he did understand was caring about someone so much you'd do almost anything.

“I'm sorry, Gloria. But you need to talk to Marco before you do something drastic. He has a right to know.” He paused to gentle his voice. “And your baby has a right to live.”

She bit down on her lip, staring at her hands twisted together in her lap.

He reached into his pant pocket, took out the marriage license, and ripped it in half. “Do what's best for your child, Gloria. Pray about it, and I know you'll find the answer.” He should have taken this same advice—given to him by Nick.

Shoulders slumped, he turned back toward the truck.

“Jason, wait.”

He looked over his shoulder to see her behind him on the walkway, eyes swollen in a pale face. “I do love you. Isn't there any way…?”

He shook his head. “No, there isn't. I'm sorry, Gloria.”

The misery on her face mirrored his own. For a few brief moments, Jason allowed himself to grieve the loss of a child he hadn't wanted in the first place.

 

 

 

 

28

 

Maxi fastened the cape around Madam Rothman's thin neck, thankful that at least one of her former clients had remained loyal.

She'd been back at work in New York for less than forty-eight hours and was still waiting for the thrill to return. She put it down to the lingering depression over losing Jason. Once her heart healed, her interest in her work would return.
It had to
.

“So what are we doing today? Highlights? Lowlights?” Maxi did her best to hide the dull ache in her chest behind a cheerful manner, however, she really didn't have to worry that her customers would notice anything amiss. Most of them were too self-absorbed to even consider she had a life outside the salon.

The aristocratic woman met Maxi's gaze in the mirror. “No time for that, darling. Mr. Rothman and I have a soirée to attend. I need a fabulous upswing to match my new Vera Wang gown.”

“No problem.” Maxi tried to muster some enthusiasm. When had making rich, aging women look good become boring to her? An unbidden image of Dora Lee's enthusiastic face sprang to mind. With a sigh, she pushed the thought away and picked up a comb.

While Maxi worked her magic on Madam Rothman's silver tresses, Philippe entered the main salon. He stopped to speak with Sierra at her station. Maxi's gaze moved across the room and caught Cherise's curious look. Her eyebrows rose in a question as if to say ‘What's up?' Maxi shrugged and continued her work before she earned another tongue lashing from Madame Rothman.

A few seconds later, Philippe crossed the room on a path toward her. Maxi's palms dampened as he approached. Had he come to let her know he'd made his decision?

“Bonjour, Madam Rothman. You look stunning as usual.” Philippe flashed a wide smile at the woman in the chair, who actually blushed like a schoolgirl, despite the fact that she was at least fifteen years his senior.

“Why, thank you, Philippe.”

He turned his attention then to Maxi. “When you're finished with your lovely client, I'd like a word with you in my office.”

His expression gave nothing away.

“Of course.”

“
Bon
.” He bowed slightly and turned to march across the room.