Wayward Hearts (24 page)

The front door creaked open. “Anyone home?”

“In the kitchen,” she managed to call. She took a deep breath to settle her system before turning to give her friend what she hoped was a convincing smile. “What are you doing here?”

Nick paused to lean against the doorjamb and gave a sheepish shrug. “Jason called. He was worried about you after the incident at the Johnsons' place. Wanted me to make sure you were OK.”

Maxi groaned and tore a sheet of newspaper, getting perverse pleasure from the loud tearing sound. “I suppose half the town knows about our fight by now. Don't people around here have anything better to do?”

“Apparently not.”

She slammed some plastic containers into the box.

Nick came into the room and picked up a carton. “How 'bout I give you a hand here, and if you feel the urge to vent, my ears are available.” He picked up a glass and wrapped it in newsprint.

Maxi continued to shred sheets of paper, finding a small measure of satisfaction in the destructive action. “I guess you've heard. About Jason and Gloria, I mean.” She presumed everyone in town knew by now.

Nick nodded, his sympathetic blue eyes on her. “Yeah. I'm so sorry. Lily's all torn up about it, too. By the way, your presence is required at our house tonight. My wife won't take no for an answer.”

Sudden tears stung the back of Maxi's throat. Tears of gratitude for friends like Nick and Lily. “Thanks. I don't think I could face staying at the Hanleys' tonight.” She folded the flaps down on a full carton and set it aside.

Nick packed in silence for several moments. Maxi knew he must be dying to ask her questions, but he held back, waiting for her to begin. She loved him for that.

“Jason and I were getting along so great,” she said at last. “I really thought he was starting to have feelings for me—as more than a friend, I mean. We even went on a real date. Then he blindsided me with this engagement.” She stood back from the table to look at Nick. “I just don't see why he has to marry her.”

Nick deposited a wrapped item into the box. “It's the honorable thing to do. And Jason is an honorable guy.”

Maxi flung out her arms. “But it's wrong on so many levels. I confronted Gloria, Nick. I saw the truth in her face. She's lying to Jason. Of course, he shouldn't have slept with her, but she's going to make him pay for it for the rest of his life. This lie will turn Jason's world upside down. This
honorable
man will be stuck in a loveless marriage built on mistruth.” Was she the only one who could see the reality of the situation? “Doesn't he understand he'll never be happy, and the child will suffer because of it?”

“He can't see it because of his own childhood.” Nick's voice was gentle. “He'll have to come to that realization in his own time.”

“There is no time. He's getting married next week.” The finality of the statement tore away the last piece of the shield she'd placed over her heart. A rush of sorrow and loss raced through her torso. She turned away from Nick's gaze to reach blindly for a glass bowl on the counter. It slipped from her fingers and shattered into a thousand pieces on the kitchen floor. She stood paralyzed amid the debris. “I've made such a mess.”

Nick steadied her with warm hands on her shoulders. “It's all right. I'll get a broom.”

“My life is as broken as that bowl.” Fat tears she'd tried so hard to repress rolled down her cheeks. Tremors seized her body, and she began to sway.

In one swift movement, Nick lifted her into his arms and stepped over the shards of glass. He carried her to the living room and sat her gently on the sofa beside him.

“It's going to be OK.”

Taking advantage of the comfort he offered, she buried her face into his shoulder and let go of all the grief inside her. She'd lost Drew, her father, and now, in every real sense, she'd lost Jason, too. Nick said nothing but held her until the tears subsided.

“Does God hate me, Nick?” she whispered at last. “Is that why everything goes wrong in my life?”

He handed her a tissue to blow her nose. “God doesn't hate you, Maxi.”

She finished wiping her face and shook her head.

“Maxi, I've known you a long time, and I've seen a pattern with you over the years. Subconsciously, you don't see yourself as worthy of happiness. Your guilt over Drew's death has colored everything in your life with a tainted brush.”

She frowned, twisting the tissue in her hands. “That could be true.” She gave a huge sigh. “I don't understand why he had to die, Nick. Why did God take Drew from us? What did we do to deserve that?”

Nick's arm tightened around her shoulders. “I don't believe God works that way.” His voice was soft. “All kinds of bad things happen in life. Wars, sickness, accidents…God doesn't cause them, but He does help us get through them.”

They sat in silence for a moment. “You've been angry at yourself—and at God—for a very long time now. Do you think you can forgive not only yourself, but God, too?”

The truth of his words jarred her. “I don't know how.” She pushed off the sofa and paced to the fireplace where she stood looking at the urn containing her father's remains. “I've been so angry lately, Nick.” She ran a finger over the etchings on the pewter container. “So angry I almost attacked two women who betrayed me. That's not how I want to see myself.”

“How do you want
others
to see you?”

The sudden image of Dora Lee came to mind. She wanted to be the person Dora Lee believed she was. “Someone people can look up to and respect.”

Nick rose and came to stand beside her. “You're all that and more. Lily and I have chosen you to be Annabelle's godmother, because you're the type of person we'd like our daughter to emulate. We believe in you. Now it's up to you to believe in yourself. And how you choose to react to the bad circumstances in your life determines who you are.”

The sincerity of his words reached into her soul and touched the truth within her.

“How do you choose to react to this, Maxi?”

Nick was right. She'd been reacting badly to both of the unfair situations in her life. Like a shrew, spewing anger and hatred in her wake. She bit her lip and then raised her eyes to meet his gentle regard. “I choose to rise above it. Not sink down to their level.”

Nick smiled. “Good choice.”

Maxi felt a weight lifting. “I told Jason he was making the wrong choice. But I'm doing the same thing. I need to make better decisions in my life. Follow God's plan for me.”

“By George, I think you've got it.”

Maxi laughed and then reached over to give Nick a huge hug. “How'd I get so lucky to have you as a friend?”

Nick's cell phone buzzed saving him from answering. Maxi moved back and wiped her face with the remnants of a tissue.

“Hi, honey. Yeah, I found her. We're packing boxes at the farm.” He handed the phone to Maxi. “Lily wants to talk to you.”

As much as she wanted to hide out and not talk to anyone, Maxi knew she had to speak to her friend. “Hi. How's little Annabelle?”

“She's great. But how are you?” The genuine concern in Lily's voice caused more emotion to well up.

“I've been better.”

“I can't believe that Gloria person. Now I know why you dislike her so much.”

“Yeah, well, Jason's not blameless in this either.”

“It's all so unfair.” Lily sighed on the other end of the phone. “Nick told you about staying here, didn't he? Once Annabelle's in bed, we'll have a chance to talk this through and figure out—”

“There's nothing to figure out, Lil. The farm is sold. I'm packing up what I can, and I'm heading back to New York. Philippe is making his final decision today or tomorrow.”

“I'm so sorry,” Lily said again. A few seconds of silence followed. “Before you go back, can you do me one favor? Drop in and say good-bye to Dora Lee? She's been asking about you.”

Maxi pushed the hair off her forehead. How could she have forgotten to call Dora Lee? “Sure. I'd like to say good-bye and wish her good luck. I need to see my mother first, though.”

“Great. Then come here for a late dinner. I'll see you then.”

Maxi ended the call and handed the phone to Nick with a watery smile. “Guess who's coming to dinner?”

 

****

 

After a quick but uncomfortable trip to the
Cut 'N Curl
to see her mother and drop off some real estate papers, Maxi headed over to the shelter to see Dora Lee. The stark sympathy on her mother's face, combined with the out-and-out sorrow on Peg's, had almost been too much to bear. Not to mention the stares and whispers of the ladies in rollers. Did the whole town know about her feelings for Jason?

Dora Lee greeted her at the doorway of the shelter with an enthusiastic hug. At least one person was treating her in a normal fashion.

“I'm so glad to see you. Come in.” Dora Lee literally glowed. She'd kept her new hairstyle and was wearing neat, clean clothing. Not the baggy sweats Maxi had first met her in.

They walked into the living room where little Robbie sat watching a children's program on TV while he played with some toy cars.

“So much has happened. I couldn't wait to tell you. But Lily said you'd gone back to New York.” The disappointment on her face made Maxi wince.

“I'm sorry I didn't call. I had to go for a quick visit to settle something.” They both sat on the overstuffed couch. “Have they found you a new place to stay?”

Dora Lee grinned. “Yes. And the best part is, I'm able to stay in Rainbow Falls.”

Maxi had never even let herself think about that possibility. Maybe that was why she'd kept herself from fully embracing a friendship with Dora Lee. “But what about Dennis?”

Dora Lee put her hand on Maxi's arm. “My lawyer told me that with you and Leslie to give evidence, it won't be only my word against his, and he'll most likely go to prison.” She squeezed Maxi in a hard bear hug. “God brought you into my life. You've given me so much. I don't know how I can ever begin to thank you.”

When Dora Lee pulled away, tears in the woman's eyes made Maxi jumpy. “I didn't do much except give you a couple of hairstyling tips.”

“Are you kidding? You gave me back my confidence. You stood up to Dennis for me. You showed me how wonderful it is to feel good again. I look better. I feel better. My son is even improving. See how well he's playing.”

“I'm not responsible for all that—”

“Yes, you are. Directly or indirectly.” She laughed. “I'm going to hairdressing school, too. Lily and Leslie have offered to babysit during my class times.”

The girl's joy was contagious. For one brief moment, Maxi set aside her own pain and let herself celebrate with this courageous woman. “I'm so happy for you. You two are going to be just fine.”

“Yes, we are. The only thing better would be having you here to share it.” Dora Lee stood and wiped her eyes. “Hey. Don't listen to me. I'm being selfish. You have your great job in New York. By the way, did you get the partnership?”

Maxi stood as well. “I'll find out soon. Within the next day or two.”

“Well, I'm sure you'll get it. Those pictures you showed me were awesome.”

They walked out into the hallway and paused by the front door, where Dora Lee hugged Maxi again. “I wanted to thank you for everything and wish you all the best. And whenever you come home for a visit, I'd be thrilled if you'd call. Maybe come over for coffee.”

Maxi fought to speak from a throat that had gone bone dry. The simple beauty of this girl's friendship floored her. “Of course. I'd love to.” She jerked her head toward the living room. “Tell Robbie I'll see him again soon. Maybe we can get some ice cream next time I'm home.”

“He'd love that.”

Maxi stepped out the open door and looked back over her shoulder. “And don't forget. I expect an invitation to your graduation.”

Dora Lee's face shone. “You got it.”

Maxi waved good-bye as she backed out of the driveway. She drove away slowly, marveling at the courage and faith Dora Lee had demonstrated. After all the girl had been through, she was picking herself up and starting a new life for herself and her son. If Dora Lee could be that strong, starting over from scratch and facing an uncertain future, could Maxi do anything less?

She smiled to herself, wondering how the tables had turned and the mentor had now become the pupil.

 

****

 

Before she drove to Nick and Lily's for the night, Maxi had one more important stop to make. A visit long overdue. She pulled up to the curb in front of the Good Shepherd Church, cut the engine, and sat trying to gather the will to do what she knew she must.

After several minutes, she pushed out of the vehicle and strode around the building to the cemetery situated behind.

Though she hadn't been here since the day of Drew's funeral, Maxi remembered the exact spot. Of course, the large stone monument topped with a cherub made it impossible to miss. Her steps slowed the closer she came. She bit down on her trembling lip as if to hold the emotion at bay.

The angelic smile of her younger brother stared back at her from the photo her mother had insisted on embedding in the tomb. She wished she'd thought to bring some flowers to lay on the barren grave.

“Hey, Drew. Bet you're surprised to see me here.” A breeze lifted her hair from her forehead. “I guess Dad's up there with you now, and he's probably told you all about my...mistakes. You know how badly I messed up the night you died and how much I wish I could change what happened.” Her voice broke. “But I can't change it. So I have to try to get past the guilt and move on with my life. I don't know if I can forgive myself, unless I know you forgive me.” Tears leaked down her cheeks. “Can you forgive me, Drew?”