Vicious Is The Name That They Gave Me: A Philly Story (13 page)

Chapter 16

Kassidy

              My sister, my own fucking sister backstabbed me.
What type of shit is that to do your own fucking blood? What’s next, because I’m ready for whatever? Like now, I want to fight her. I never thought Chanelle would do something like this. I know Chanelle has some fucked up ways with her, but I always thought she would never cross that line with me. I never thought Chanelle would cross any lines with me. Maybe she would do this with those other bitches, but not me. How could she do this shit and still be able to sleep at night? I would never cross Chanelle in any type of way or form. But to know she would cross me lets me know she does not care about me, only herself. I am always hearing people say Chanelle does not care about anyone but herself. I thought they were all haters. I see they were speaking the truth and I wasn’t listening to them.
If I was to do what Chanelle did to me I would not have made it out of that house. But for Chanelle to be so bold with it, she does not care. When I saw Chanelle in Roc’s closet, my heart dropped. I felt like I could not breathe.
She is so heartless.
I felt betrayed, hurt, felt my insides in dismantle. I swear it hurts even worse when it’s somebody you know, related to, thought you could trust that is involved. 
I want to really fuck my sister up. I don’t care anymore because she does not care about me. So why should I care? When I see her I want to fuck her up.

              I heard my name has been surfacing around the streets about me killing Dymond and getting Nelly locked up. All of a sudden these lies are being spread around. I don’t know who is lying about me. I feel as though whoever is spreading these lies is eventually coming for me.
And I will be waiting for them.
I was in the basement of my friend Tamika’s house. She knew everything that I have been going through these past few days. I was rolling up a blunt while Tamika was counting money.

“Kas, are you alright” she asked. I have been quiet for the past hour or two. Tamika and I have been friends since we were little. Even though when we got older she went on to do her thing and I became a part of the squad. That never caused a separation between our friendship. Tamika’s personality is not like the other people I am always around. She does not run her mouth like those other bitches do. She is not a shit starter. She’s not one of them loud ratchet bitches always saying something. Tamika is a real true fucking friend.
How many people can really say that they have a true friend? I don’t care that I can’t count off my fingers how many people I roll with and what not. I would rather count one loyal bitch than six disloyal bitches. You can have twenty people you fuck with all day, but the reality is half them can’t be trusted.
I never put anything past any of the girls in the squad. It was never a real bond and we all had one goal which is to make money. And we all got addicted to making money. I know some want to leave and some don’t.
I know I am going to leave but not empty handed
. I decided to take my mind off of what I was thinking.
I didn’t want to get depressed.

“Yeah, I’m good. When you’re done, let’s go outside. I need air,” I suggested.

“Okay,” She agreed. Tamika was little older than me. She was twenty-five and lived with her sister Mae. She said Mae has not been home in a few days. I could understand how worried she has been.
I would be too.
When Tamika was finished, we poured ourselves a drink and went outside on the porch. I liked Tamika’s neighborhood. It wasn’t ghetto like how the house area was. In Tamika’s neighborhood people respected each other, parked in front of their own house and looked out for each other. Shortly after talking for a while, Mae pulled up in front of the house. I saw Tamika’s face expression had changed.
Tamika looked as if she wanted to kick Mae’s ass. I would gladly help her. Mae is a little bad ass girl who never wants to listen. She always wanted to do what she wanted.

“Where you the fuck have you been, Mae?” Tamika asked angrily.

“Kas, your name is running around everywhere. I would stay out of sight,” She completely ignored what Tamika asked her and spoke directly to me.

“I’m talking to you,” Tamika stood in front of her face.

“I was minding my business,” Mae said rudely.
Rude little ass girl.

“Weren’t you with Dymond?” Tamika asked.

“Yes, you were,” I butted in.

“How are you going to tell me where I was? I went to Virginia,” Mae said ignorantly.
Who the hell is she talking to? She is lucky she is not my sister. I would have got in that ass from the first time she got rude.

“That’s what people are saying,” I said.

“You keep listening to the streets like everything they are saying is true,” Mae said walking inside of the house. Mae did make a valid point. You cannot believe everything the streets were saying. I was told that we were robbing a stash house. It was never disclosed to me who owned the house. And I would not think Dymond and Mae would be there.
It made me question who was really working with whom.
Tamika and I hung out for a little while longer. I invited her to the party, and she said would think about it. She was not really a big fan of Chanelle and I could accept that. I was thinking that at this party, I would seek revenge. The only thing Chanelle cared about was money.
Fuck everything else. I want to hurt her like she hurt me. I am going to take her money

Chapter 17

Retta

              All this drama, all this damn drama! People need Jesus these days. They need Bible study, Sunday school, a worship service and gospel music. Then again not everyone believes in Jesus, well, some type of sanity. People really need to chill. These last few days have been the worst days. Dollah got killed. Constance got killed. Dymond got killed.
Sooner or later my ass will be next. I don’t know. I don’t know.
I mean people have beef with each other. Okay, that’s normal. But the way they are handling it is just stupid. Being sneaky and plotting against each other. The violence is not going to end by itself. It has to end if people really want it to end.
I’m a hypocrite.
I’m talking as if I don’t go out there and show off. But I was just following my orders as I was directed. I don’t question if it’s right or wrong. I don’t ask anything I just do it.

              Sitting in the chair at the hair salon, you know I have to stay looking fabulous. When people walk pass me they see Tha Philly Ridahs tattooed on my neck.
They keep it moving and know not to say shit.
They knew what the tattoo stands for. But it’s this one bitch that has been starting at me since I came from underneath the dryer.
I should toss this bitch.

“Hey, bitch, are you gay? What the fuck are you looking at?” I yelled to her. Everyone kept their heads down.

“Retta, chill,” Thalia my hair stylist said.

“I’m looking at you,” She said boldly.
Oh, this bitch is talking back like she’s about that work.
I started making my way out of the chair to punch the life out of her, when Thalia held me back.

“What the fuck are you staring for? I know I’m sexy and all but I don’t like girls,” I said. Everyone still kept their head down.

“Why are you getting all hyped? Nobody was checking you out. Calm down,” she said.

“Alright, so why are you staring at me?” I asked. I hate when people just stare at you.
Say hello or something but don’t stare.
She didn’t respond. “Bitches these days,” I commented. Thalia began to laugh. Once she was done with my hair, I got up to tip her. Walking out of the door, I stopped in front of the girl who stared at me.

“Watch yourself,” I warned her and headed out.

              I got in my car and went to the house. Lately shit has been crazy. People are getting killed. Bitches are acting real grimy. Pulling up into the driveway, I notice Kareema sitting outside.  I sat in the car thinking I really don’t like Kareema. I feel like she played Vicious. I want Kareema to tell Vicious what she is really about. Kareema is not some golden child. She is a trifling gold digger.
She is one of us. She came in with us. If it was up to me, I would have gotten rid of Kareema a long time ago. Unfortunately, Chanelle wants her around.

              When Kareema saw me getting out of the car, she stood up like she was going to do something.
Oh yes bitch, please try me so I can have legitimate reason to beat your ass right in this driveway.

“Where have you been?” she asked calmly.

“I was minding my fucking business,” I told her. Kareema is not someone I feel threatened by. I thought Kareema was alone until Tori came out from the side of the house. I kept quiet.

“What’s up, Retta,” Tori greeted.

“Hey,” I returned the greeting.

“So you let Kassidy kill Dymond,” Kareema asked me.
Why are people asking me about other people’s shit? I have nothing to do with that.
I ignored her while I started walking towards the front door.

“Answer me, Retta, because you are this close to getting it?” Tori asked.
Is this bitch threatening me? Hold up pause.

“Getting what, Tori? What the fuck are you going to do? I had nothing to do with Dymond getting killed, so you and Kareema can get the hell out of my face,” I said attempting to walks pass but Kareema stood in front of me.

“Retta,” Kareema said my name.
Kareema better get out of my face.

“What do you want?” I asked Kareema. I began to get annoyed with all this bullshit.

“You stupid bitch. You stupid bitch. You ain’t riding” she claimed. I walked close to her face.

“Who are you calling a bitch? I’m not riding? Bitch, you stopped riding,” I accused.

“You led the cops to us,” Tori jumped in. I turn to face her.
So they think I called the cops? I hope that is not what they are thinking; because I didn’t. I’m not a cop caller.
“Cops busted through the house but didn’t find anything. I thought Vicious was right behind us but she got arrested,” Tori said. Of course Tori and Chanelle got out.
I will let them figure out on their own who really is fucking everybody over. Even if I did know I would not tell them. How would I know for sure they aren’t a part of it? My best bet is to stay quiet because eventually the chips are going to fall.

“I didn’t do shit,” I said.

“So who did it then?” Kareema asked.

“I don’t know,” I said walking pass them and entering the house. Kareema followed behind me. I turned around to address her. “You need to get the fuck away from me, Kareema,” I warned.

“Fuck you, Retta,” she said and walked away from me. I should have taken my chance and beat the hell out of her when we were outside, when she was standing in my face as if she had lost her everlasting mind.
It’s cool she got it. I am going to get her in a different way. I promise.

Chapter 18

Chanelle

              Everyone knew the time we would be discussing the planning of the squad’s party. The meeting would start as soon as everyone arrives. The last couple of days have been hectic. I’m not even going to front on that note. Things have been getting out of control. Everybody had a problem with everybody for God only knows. All of us getting together in one room would be awkward because of what has happened. But I hope everyone will maintain their composure and behave as if they had common sense.
They better be civilized.
I waited in the chambers for them to come in. First, Retta came in by herself.

“What’s up,” she greeted and sat down. Usually Retta is upbeat and full of enthusiasm. Her approach was mild and boring. I already knew she was going through some things.

“Hey, are you alright?” I asked her.

“Yeah,” she lied. I knew something was wrong. But I didn’t feel like addressing it at the moment. Shortly after everyone came in and sat down, they said hello and waited for me to speak. I studied their faces. I can tell all of them had something on their mind. All of them went through something these last couple of days such as death, betrayal, deceit, and some type of drama. If I have to accept and deal with things, they should have to as well. They need to learn how to cope with it. It’s life. I have been through so many fucked up things happening in my life.

              I thought about the time I met them. They had trouble in their lives. They were struggling with issues they had going on such as abandonment from the people who they thought loved them. They were lost because no one took the time out to help them and care for them. They barely kept up with their education. They were weak willed, had low self-esteem, no motivation to move forward in life, and didn’t know if they were going to be able to make it mentally. Some did not know where their next meal was going to come from. Some stayed out all day because they did not have a place to lay their head down at night while some had to sleep in a shelter.

              Since I have recruited them, they have not been the same. They have grown in their own little way. They’re sovereign, they’re stronger, and they have risen from poverty to having an income. Now, they can buy whatever they please. They have food to eat. They have a roof over their heads. They are doing beyond what they ever expected.  Along their journey to get where they are now, they had to make life threatening choices. What goes on in their personal lives is their business. What goes on in my squad is my business. I gave them instructions and guidelines on how I want my squad to run. Outside of the squad, I can care less. The reason why they are going through so much shit is because of how they live in their private lives, how they live in it, how they treat it, how they control it and how they behave with it, but it is their dilemma. So they need to stop saying its Chanelle because it’s not. They need to stop blaming me for what they have been doing outside of the squad. They are becoming too comfortable with using my name for every fucking issue that’s related to them. Our bond is not a sisterhood bond. We are all females making money. We hustle. We do the unthinkable. We are risk-takers. Somewhere along the line strings became attached. They became close with each other, and they began to believe one another a little too deeply than they should have.
Again that has nothing to do with Chanelle.
They wanted to extend a friendship and now family is getting killed and money is stolen.

              I warned them that everyone in this game have their own agenda. You cannot put honesty, loyalty, and trust in everyone about everything. I already had this whole long conversation with them and I’m not going to have it again. They need to learn how to figure out shit on their own like I had to. They decided to go out and create their hideouts, their own sources, and managed their own money. They combined their private lives with the squad.
That’s where their error was created. Death, betrayal, and drama entered.
They are welcome to come and talk to me.  No one came with an issue.

              Getting back to the meeting, I wanted to go over the party. I looked at the list I had in front of me. Approximately three hundred people RSVP’d. The party would be held at a house in Jersey.

“So I decided to not make it private any more. A lot of people expressed interested and wanted to come so it’s not going to private. I am going to open it up to the public. There will be a twenty-dollar cover charge instead of ten. Did everyone do what I asked them to do?” I asked. Everyone said yes and went back to being quiet.

“Alright so did all the invitation make it out?” I asked Katrina who was in charge of sending the invitations to everyone that would be attending.

“Yes,” She answered.

“Did everyone that is V.I.P. get their card?” I asked her. She nodded yes.

“What about parking?” Wanda asked.

“What about it?” I asked her.

“Will there be enough parking for everyone?” she asked.

“If it starts to get packed, I will let security know outside they can park on the grass,” She accepted my response with a nod. We all started talking about the catering, decided on a menu, the DJ, and making sure security would be surrounding the house inside and outside.

“Chanelle, what if there are disturbances?” Kareema asked.

“Oh, the people who want to show their ass? Security will be in place for that as well. Look, I know it’s been hell these past few days, but leave all that drama where ever you park. Not at the door, leave it in the car. I don’t care about the people that are trying to come and start shit, because I have something waiting for them. Other than that, I expect everyone to play their part,” I stated. They did not have much to say at the meeting. They understood what I wanted and asked. Everyone left except Kassidy.

              She stared at me as if she wanted to take my life.
I don’t blame her. What I did was fucked up.
Her look was deviant. I know Kassidy from the inside of her to the outside of her. Deep down inside she was filled with pain and rage. I taught her everything she knows, but not everything I know. As for the additional bullshit she knows, I don’t know where she acquired it from.
It’s not really my concern.

“How could you, Chanelle? How could you betray me like that?” she asked as she held back her tears. I can hear the pain in her voice. I can hear in her voice how exhausted she is. I know she has not been sleeping. Truth be told, I was not thinking about Kassidy all the times I was fucking Roc. The pleasure was so unresisting I forgot about my morality. The penetration from him stroking me was so damn good. He made my pussy feel so good. I didn’t think about what would happen if I had gotten pregnant from all the times we had unprotected sex. I forgot that he was my little sister’s boyfriend. I did not think to consider their relationship. I did not think about how my own little sister would feel.
But it was time for me to face Kassidy with my betrayal.

“I don’t know why I did it Kas,” I said to her as if I was dumb. I know what I did, but I figured I should try to be somewhat sincere to her. At the end of the day, I took something from her.

“I know why you did it. You did it because you are a selfish and cold hearted bitch. You only care about yourself,” She claimed.
I accepted her yelling at me. She had every right to.
I wasn’t sure if I apologize would she accept it.

“I know I fuck-”

“Fuck you Chanelle, okay? Fuck you,” she had cut me off.
I was starting to get irritated because she would not let me talk.

“You know what? This selfish bitch got you to where you’re standing at now. This selfish bitch raised your nappy headed ass and now you’re wearing a three-hundred-dollar weave, so you’ve grown. This selfish bitch gave you everything.”

“You say that shit every time. It’s time for new excuses. I don’t care what you have done for me. That still didn’t give you a right to fuck my niggah. Can’t you get a niggah of your own? You have to go sleep around with everyone else’s? Maybe if you had your own dick you wouldn’t be jumping up and down on mine,” she yelled.

“Fuck you. Just remember I gave you that self-esteem that once was low,” I reminded her.
She was speaking out of pain and instead of me listening to her I went after her with my words, because I did not want to hear the truth.

“Fuck me? You have it coming. What goes around comes around and karma is a fucking bitch. Bitch!” she threatened walking out of the room.