Unmistakable (22 page)

“We’re going to go through this cervical stitch to protect what’s yours and mine, okay? If for some reason….”

I interrupt her right there. “Okay, we’re doing the surgery, but there’s no
ifs
between you and me, babe. So, don’t even start on that.” I’m looking at her so intently, I’m willing her to see it my way.

Taking a deep breath, she says, “Okay, no negative thoughts. How about you just kiss me.”

“How do you want it, babe? Slow, sweet kisses, or I-am-on-fire-I-want-to-devour-you kind of kisses. I can give you both, just tell me which kind of Jake you want to show up.” I wink at my wife, waiting for her response while I will jake junior to calm his shit down.

“I want ‘the’ Jake….my Jake.”

I smile at her, “Ah, you want the I-am-so-in-love-with-my-wife, Jake. I can do that. Nice and slow, just like a prayer…I want to take you there.”

She giggles and says, “Oh-uh, my husband is in a Madonna phase. You don’t like Britney Spears anymore?”

I mumble while I attack my wife’s neck, “I’m always in a Trish phase, always. I’ll never forget anything about you, babe. Nothing.”

“Fast five, Jake?”

“Alright, let’s do this.”

“Big?”

I wink at her, letting her know I’m just playing with her, “You.”

She gasps and scowls at me, “Dead?”

“Me, for saying who’s big, but in my defense, big means something different to me, Trish.”

She rolls her eyes and says, “Whatever, Jake. Next, Dried?”

I look at her feigning shock, “Oh, I can’t believe you just went there, Trish. That’s a low blow….the lowest of the low!” Looking down at jake junior I say, “That’s okay, bud, when the right time comes, we’ll show kitty no mercy. We’ll plow through her, ravage her as we’ve never done before, and we’ll show her who’s boss. We have to DIY it this time and settle with the five sisters.” Wiggling my fingers.

My wife is laughing so hard, she’s wiping tears from her eyes. I enjoy seeing her smile, hearing her laugh, it centers me, and makes me realize the life I dreamt long ago is the life I’m living now. The horror I’ve lived through those many months ago is worth every pain…every tear…every waiting moment. Before me is the woman I love…the woman I adore, and inside her are four little heart beats…

Four little ones…

Four little mine…

Four little hers….

Four little ours….

“You’re not mad that I called you ‘big’, right?”

Trish shrugs her shoulders and I know an explanation is needed.

“Wife, my love, I’m sorry for saying you’re big. But, you’re
my big…mine.
You’re this way, because you have my children inside you, and that to me is a beautiful thing. It’s a
big,
beautiful thing. So, my definition of big is different from yours. You’ve changed
my
life in a
big
way…you’ve changed
me
in an even
bigger
way…you’ve
given
me the
biggest
gift of all, and that’s you and my angels. So, that’s my
big
, Trish; it has nothing to do with your size, but how
you
made my heart
bigger
than it should be, because of
your
love…because of
our
love. So, even if you say jake junior is ‘dried up’, I’m willing to let it go if you’re willing to forgive me.”

She smiles. “Yes, you’re, my husband. I want my kisses, please.”

As I lean toward my wife, wanting to give her my kisses, Roxy barges in and fucking ruins my moment…..

After telling everyone what’s going on and while we’re all waiting to hear back from the doctor, I decide to eavesdrop on Jake. He’s currently groveling and asking for forgiveness for calling Trish ‘big’. My idiot cousin just had to go there. Stupid male brain. Trish spots me by the door and knows I’m listening while Jake is groveling. I wave my hand for everyone to go inside the room. It’s time to give Jake a hard time, Roxy style.

“I think, you’re in big trouble, Jake. You never use ‘big’ to describe a pregnant lady. I shall defend your size…err, your honor, Momma Igloo,” I say as I wink at Trish.

Jake gives my best friend the evil eye, but his eyes say he’s just playing. He gives Trish a sweet kiss on her lips, followed by four kisses on her belly. Trish’s mom stands on her left side, and Patti pulls Jake to get off his wife.

“Mom, I’m still kissing her,” Jake complains.

“Son, you need to learn how to share your wife and my grandkids. Sit over there.” Patti points to the recliner by the window.

“Five minutes, mom. Five. Don’t hug her too tight, because her back hurts. Be careful not to hit her IV lines. Babe, are you cold? Do you need socks? No one move her feet, she needs to keep them elevated. Mom, be gentle when you hold her tummy. Don’t squeeze it, too much! Did you wash your hands?”

“God, help me. Jack, please take your son out. Now!” Aunt Patti says, looking sternly at Jake.

Jake puts his hands up in surrender. “Fine, fine. Just five minutes,” Jake says as he sits on the chair, looking at Trish.

“Son, give your mom more than five,” my uncle says.

Jake sighs, “Dad, if I give her five minutes, she’ll fuss over her for ten.” Jake turns to look at Trish and says, “Babe, how are my angels? If they’re squirming too much, my angels want me.” Patti turns and glares at Jake. Then he says, “Only.Me.Mom! They want me. You want to know what we’re having? Switch places with me, and I’ll tell you.” Then, Jake looks at me. “You didn’t say anything, Rox, right?”

Shaking my head, I answer, “Didn’t say a word. I didn’t even tell Cody. We can fuss over her since you do it, too. Maybe a little, too much.”

Aunt Patti asks, “I’m not switching places with you, son. I have a feeling they’re all boys. What do you think, Laura?”

Trish’s mom smiles at her daughter. “I think, it’s two boys and two girls. Am I right, Tricia?”

A knock on the door stops the guessing game, and Dr. O’Connor walks in. She smiles at everyone, and Jake immediately goes to Trish’s side. Thank God Almighty, Aunt Patti moved; I wouldn’t put it past Jake to move her.

“How are you doing, Trish? Any pains?”

“I’m okay,” Trish answers.

Jake seconds, “No, she’s not. She was complaining of her back hurting.”

“Unfortunately, that’s normal; carrying multiples will do that to your back, plus your weak cervix compounds it. Anyway, I’ve scheduled the surgery for tomorrow. I need you to rest today, okay? I’m sure, it’s not gonna be a problem since your Warden here is…um…on top of things,” Dr. O’Connor says, winking at Trish.

As soon as the doctor leaves, Jake goes on complete control mode, which is a sight to see. Trish, including all the women in the room, stay out of his way; the guys seem to be the only ones listening to him. While Jake and the guys are planning for the next world war, my phone vibrates. My heart stops, and my body locks. Being that the boys are pre-occupied, I slip inside the bathroom to read the message.

Unknown: Go to the cafeteria and ditch your guards. Someone will approach you. Do it, now. Remember, we have eyes on you.

Quickly, I delete the message, flush the toilet, and turn on the faucet to appear as though I’m just doing my business. I take a couple of deep breaths. I think, I’m ready, but soon as my hand goes over the door knob, my palpitations start again. Fear…worry…pain. Oh, excruciating pain squeezes my heart without an end in sight. Closing my eyes and hearing the girls fuss over Trish puts everything back into perspective. Steeling my heart, I tell myself, this is the right thing to do. A couple of deep breaths in, I shakily, open the door expecting to be questioned. Fortunately for me, no one even notices. While thinking of how to make my exit, Laura opens her mouth, and now, I have one.

“How about I get food for everybody?” Laura asks.

I answer right away, “Sure, I’ll go with you. Tami, just text me what everyone wants, okay?”

Hoping the boys didn’t hear anything, I try to make a quick exit. I’m just about to open the door when Uncle Jack’s voice stops me.

“Where are you going, Roxy?”

Laura answers for me, “Oh, Jack, we’re going to get food from the cafeteria. Boys, do you want anything?”

Without taking his eyes off me, my uncle says, “Cody, go with them, so you can help them carry all the stuff, alright?”

Oh no! This can’t be happening. How in the world can I shake him? We walk hand in hand toward the elevator while I think of when I can make my escape. My nerves are going crazy. As the elevator makes its calm descent, my heart rate picks up its pace as we get closer to our destination. I plan to make my move once we’re in the cafeteria, it’s just easier to lose him there with a lot of people in the way. Stepping off the elevator, as though sensing something is about to happen, Cody pulls me to the side, holds my cheeks with both his hands, gazes at me longingly, and kisses my forehead as my eyes close, savoring our last moments. His lips lingering there for a while as he gives my chest two thumps, and I answer back with two thumps against his.

Turning away from him is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. My mind is quick to remind me what can happen if I let my weakness take over. I quickly scan the area in search of Laura. She’s already standing at the deli section, which is a great pick because there’s a long line, and it’s a couple of steps away from an exit door. I hurry toward Laura, while Cody walks behind me, when suddenly he calls for me to stop.

“Roxy, wait!”

I turn around to see him trying to move a woman to the side. She probably cut right in front of him, and then, another guy does the same thing, and another. I can tell he’s getting frustrated, because he’s shoving people out of the way. Now, there’s a few people between us; I’m getting pushed forward, he gets pushed further back. This is my only chance. Knowing I may not be able to see my love again, I look at him one last time. The look in his eyes just about glued me to where I am. Then, an image of him dead pulls me back to reality and propels me to move forward, to make my escape which takes me farther and farther away from my heart.

Each step my feet make, my heart aches, to the point I can hardly breathe. Is this how one feels when death is near….when it comes knocking and tells you, your time on this Earth is up? While my heart slowly, but surely, becomes just a numb piece of my body, my ears hear his voice loud and clear. He keeps calling my name, and with every desperate cry coming from his mouth, my tears crash down my face.

I don’t even feel someone pulling me forward until my arm start hurting. I look at the hand that’s firmly and painfully squeezing my arm. For the life of me, I wonder why I have no fear of being taken. Then, I understood why, because the fear of being taken is nothing compared to the fear of losing every single person I hold dear in my heart, especially Cody. I’ve felt that fear. I’ve lived with it for a couple of days, and I’ll continue to live with it until life leaves my body.

The pain….the pain is here….

It’s constant…

It’s potent….

The agony too deep….

It’s unforgivable....

It’s unsurmountable….

I’m frozen….detach….ALONE.

I push as hard as I can to fight the ocean of people that separates us, but either God isn’t with me, or Satan’s minions just overpowered the good today. I’d like to think the latter, because the former isn’t possible. It just isn’t. With what I’m dealing with right now, HE is going to be my source…I’ll need him more than I’ve ever needed him.