“Nothing much. Hey, I have not had a chance to tell you what a good job you did on
those burgers, they were delicious.”
Just like you.
“Oh, really? Glad you liked them. I am a pretty good cook. What’s your favorite type
of food?
Anything that involves all the succulent parts of your body.
“I am easy to please. I love Mexican, and Italian and Chinese – in that order.” I
smile like my life depends on it.
“Really? Would you let me cook for you sometime?”
“Perhaps.”
As long as I can eat the food off your rock hard body and a lot of tasting of things
edible and not edible are allowed.
“What do you have in mind?” I consciously lick my lips and he stares intently at
my mouth.
“How about you let me entertain you one evening, I cook, we chat, get to know each
other better… You won’t even have to do the dishes.” He winks and looks at me expectantly.
I just can’t do it. I cannot entangle myself with anyone. Classes need to be my priority,
my numero uno. Besides, if he or anyone ever finds out about my past, they will hate
me. They will not listen to the whole story and they will hate me and judge me. I
will be banished to the nothingness I am so familiar with. I just can’t take the chance.
I don’t ever want him to look at me in any way other than the way he has been looking
at me since I met him.
“Nah. I don’t think that is a good idea, Colton. I don’t do dates. I don’t date, I
don’t do relationships.” If looks could kill, I would be dead. Crap!
Please don’t hate me…
“Whoa! Hold it, girl! Who said anything about dating? Better yet, who said anything
about relationships!?” Oh, yeah. I saw this one coming.
“I know you didn’t… yet. I have been here before and there have been others before
you. I don’t know why but they are always ‘it’s just a friend kind of deal’ and then
the deal goes South in a very fast way. They want more and more of me and it gets
to the point they want it all. I guess I have
something
that just drives guys to the brink of crazyville. I don’t want that to be the case
for you and me.” I shrug my shoulders as I say this in the most matter of fact way
I can.
He guffaws at me. Very, very loud. “Brianna, I can’t believe you just said that. I
never heard anything as funny as this shit - ever. What, are you addictive or do you
emit a drug of some kind? Yes, you are very pretty and
sometimes
you can be nice, but I don’t see how in the hell would I get so attached to you just
from having dinner together. Please, do not insult my intelligence.” Then he turns
serious and looks at me with a frown. “Okay?”
“Okay. I guess this
shit
is settled. You think I’m joking and I am not. My original answer stands. I guess
I deserve this for trying to be honest with you. I was way off and wrong as hell.
Excuse me, your assholiness, I think is time for me to go.”
“Brianna, wait a minute. Let’s talk this out. I probably sounded a bit more upset
than what I am, really. I did not mean to upset you. I’m sorry.”
“Apology accepted, but it does not change my answer.” He grabs me by the arm, and
as I am about to reach for my pocket knife, I tell him in the most calm voice I have,
“You need to get your hand off my arm right this second, or I am not responsible for
my actions in regards to your unwanted gesture.” I stare at him hard. It works. He
lets go and raises his palms up in defeat.
“Fine. We are done for now.” He smiles sincerely. “I will earn your trust. Eventually,
you will let me in. We are going to be great friends, Brianna. You and I are yet to
be.”
I give him a tight lip smile and turn to go get Ciara and escape. Running away from
the most real feelings I have ever had in my life. Running away from something that
terrifies me and excites me all at once. But this is not my first time running. And
it probably won’t be my last.
Chapter 6
Brianna
“I promise you, it will be fun!” Ciara is at it again.
“Those are somebody’s famous last words.” I tell her without looking at her. My nose
has been buried in a book since last night. I have no interest to collide with the
world. I’m pissed at myself.
“Brianna, you are being ridiculous. It’s a Saturday night. We are going out. None
of this ‘I want to read and stay home’ business, since when did you turn 60?” She
looks at me incredulously. “I’m going to your closet and getting your clothes ready.
You go take a shower. You know you always feel better after a shower. Hell, take a
bubble bath. We have time.”
Exasperated, I sigh loudly, “I don’t really want to deal with crowds and especially
don’t want to deal with guys.” There is only one guy I want and I can’t have him.
Crud.
“You need a distraction after last night’s fiasco. Those romance novels are not going
to push him out of your mind. Trust me. This place we are going to is actually pretty
low key. You will like it.”
“What is this place?” Now I’m suspicious.
“We are going to a place that has Karaoke night, but plays dance music sets in between.
It’s called ‘Twisted’.” She looks at me pleading. I’m shaking my head no, I know where
this is going… “Oh, no. Negative! Not happening!”
“Brianna! It’s $500 dollars! You can do it! You’ve done it before! Please!?” She is
pouting now.
Shit.
“Why? You don’t need the money! Why do I have to do it?”
“Because! Number one, I can’t sing, if I do all the dogs in the neighborhood will
howl. Number two, it’s fun and will get you lots of attention. Number three, we will
put the money in our ‘Rainy Day’ account – after a celebration drink. You can’t ever
have too much money in an emergency fund. Don’t you agree?” She has been pacing around
the living room while she recites all this. She has practiced the speech, the little
shit.
“What am I supposed to sing? I haven’t even practiced!” I practically yell at her.
Ciara shakes her hand in a ‘don’t worry’ gesture. “You, practice? Girl, you don’t
need practice. You were naturally born awesome!” Then she smiles at me.
“Ciara, you are not playing fair… How am I supposed to be mad at you when you say
nice things like that about me?”
“I know!” She scrunches her nose and smiles. “Now, let’s go take a look at that closet
and decide what you are going to wear for your big night!” I follow her in silence
shaking my head the entire time. Unbelievable.
Colton
“You know you don’t have to go, don’t you?” I tell Traxx and Notso the same thing
once again.
“We know. It’s lame as shit if you ask me. You don’t even need the money.” Traxx says
with a bored voice.
“It’s easy money. How many of these have I won before?”
Notso looks at me and says “Five or six that I can remember.”
“And haven’t you guys had fun during those other times?”
“Yeah… girls always think that we are some kind of band. It’s easy to get girls there.
They normally throw themselves at us.” He smiles then.
“I know Karaoke is not the highlight of anybody’s night, but we go, do the deed, and
then we can go somewhere else, and I tell you what, the first round will be on me!”
I wink at them.
Traxx and Notso get up to go get ready. Traxx asks “Do you know what you will be singing?”
“Nah, I’m going to play it by ear. Check out the crowd first to get me some ideas.”
I go to one of the corners in my room, next to my desk, and grab my guitar. I need
to make sure it’s properly tuned.
“Alright, then. See y’all in the living room in a few minutes.” I sit on the bed as
they leave the room and I take out my old guitar. This guitar kept me company during
all those times that I wanted to be with my family but they thought it was more important
to fulfill their social commitments. It was a gift from my grandmother. The only one
who really cared about me. When she died, my childhood died with her and I had to
grow up really quick. I named the guitar after her - Alice. I learned to play it by
ear, spending many hours in my room alone practicing. I guess it kept me out of trouble
and from running the streets. Now when something bothers me and I need to work it
out in my head, I come to Alice.
I start to play a melody and close my eyes to concentrate. Blue-green eyes stare back
at me.
Brianna
. I see her smiling. I see her laughing, swimming and then later eating a huge burger.
It makes me smile. She didn’t even know that I would look for her at any chance I
got, just to see what she was doing. I wonder what she is doing now… I need more time.
I don’t want her to shoot me down quite yet. I really don’t know what I am doing.
She is out of my league –
Damn! I can’t believe I just said that!
She is different from all of the other girls I’ve met and dated. What I don’t understand
is that if she doesn’t want a relationship, and I’m not a guy who is into relationships,
why can’t we hang out? Have a few dates and call it a day.
As the melody becomes faster, my mind races on - hell, I can be her friend with benefits.
Why does she think that I would want more? Then I recall the moment when that guy
in the car wash was barely going to touch her shoulder and I remembered how I felt
when I saw him. I wanted to extinguish him. I wanted her all to myself. I wanted to
be the one and only man touching her. Is that what being jealous is like?
Shit.
Now I know. Maybe she
is
right. Now I understand what she means about me wanting more. I like Brianna so much
more than I care to admit. And it is in this very moment when I realize that I have
never felt like this for anyone else. Also, in this very moment, I realize that I’m
not willing to let her go.
Brianna
I’m still trying to figure out why I agreed to do this. It’s not making a lot of sense
right now. The place is packed. So much for not being a popular hangout. I really
think Ciara was playing me big time.
We go in and it’s free entry because Ciara already has me signed up for the karaoke
showcase. We decided to come a bit early so we can let loose, drink a little and dance
a lot. Right now “Runnin’ Outta Moonlight” by Randy Houser is playing. We work our
way through the crowd to the bar. Guys are just looking at us from top to bottom.
I like the attention, but there’s not a man in here that can compare to the one who’s
inside my head.
“What do you want to drink?” Ciara asks bringing me back to the moment.
“I need a shot of something strong to calm my nerves. How about some Patron?”
“Sounds like a winner!!! Patron shots coming up! Woo Hoo!!!” Ciara is certainly more
excited than I am.
We squeeze up to the counter, ask the bartender for the shooters, plus lime wedges
and salt. He serves the shots, Ciara and I lick the back of our hands, sprinkle the
salt and at the count of three, we simultaneously lick the salt, drink the shots and
suck on the lime wedges. We repeat for a second round, then decide to go do a little
dancing before the actions starts.
We hit the dance floor and it doesn’t take long before we are pretty much surrounded
by guys dancing. I decide to let go and enjoy myself. I have nothing to fear. There
is no danger here. My weapons of choice for the night are actually two of my favorites.
A thin brown leather necklace is holding a pointed grooved grip kubotan, and inside
my small crossbody purse, I have a wildcat keychain. Always be prepared for anything.
You never know when something or someone is gonna get in your way.
It’s really hard to keep your personal space open when you have a bunch of guys trying
to grind on you. I’m looking around the dance floor trying to find one friendly face
that interests me. Nothing. I look away, past the dance floor, and scan the crowd.
My eyes stop cold when I see a pair of gray eyes that I have gotten to know too well
these past few days. His square jaw tenses, and I can see from here how his pecs tighten
against the dark gray short sleeved t-shirt he is wearing tonight.
Oooh, fuckety fuck!
I try to signal Ciara to look, but she is too busy making gooey eyes to a guy next
to her. I look back to where Colton was, but I don’t see him. Did I imagine it? Am
I losing my mind?
Three seconds later, I feel the heat and the energy behind me. I don’t need to look,
I already know who it is. I make myself look over my shoulder to catch him giving
the stink eye to all the guys around me. He smells great, and looks good enough to
lick every single inch of his body. I gently smile and simply mouth the word “Hi.”
Colton gets closer until his hard body is perfectly aligned with mine. He gently removes
my hair from the side of my face angled toward him and pulls it onto my other shoulder
in order to uncover my ear, and then he gets closer and whispers… “You are a sight
to see, Brianna. I’m taking a mental picture of the way you are looking so that I
can use it later on to satisfy my…
thirst
. And girl, you smell like heaven. This is exactly where I want to be, nestled against
my heaven.” I feel his hands grab my hips and he pulls me even closer to him. I hate
to admit it to myself - It feels great!
He buries his nose on my neck and inhales deeply, moving his lips up my neck while
breathing in through his nose and out through his mouth so I can feel the warm air,
his warm air,
against my very receptive, sensitive skin. His lips move ever so slowly until he
places them, barely touching, lightly against the bottom part of my earlobe. This
tame gesture makes me feel like a wild animal. There is a fire being ignited down
there.
Adrenaline is flowing through my body from top to bottom, causing the heat to rise
up. I just know my cheeks are cherry red. Then I hear him breathing hard – his lips
are still next to my ear – and that’s when he moves in for the kill: his teeth wrap
the bottom of my earlobe and he pulls on it ever so gently. I close my eyes and give
in to the sensation. His lips take over where his teeth had been and slowly move up
my earlobe, his warm breath is intoxicating and I feel his tongue tracing a thin line
around the edge of my ear.