Unavoidable (10 page)
Authors: Yara Greathouse
A new verse starts and now she is leaning forward showing her cleavage –
shit!
She gets back up, propping her hand on her hip, dancing provocatively. I see her
walking quickly off the stage and moving toward the bar. Leaning a table chair against
the bar, she uses her long legs to step on the chair, then a bar stool and then the
counter. She walk/dances the length of the bar while singing about the girl not heeding
her advice. At the end of the bar, she crouches and sits on her butt, and this huge
guy grabs her by the waist and pulls her to the floor. She runs her fingertip on his
jawline as she walks away from him, and I’m getting more and more pissed, because
all these guys here
want
her. I’m afraid I’m gonna start a nasty fight if they try to do anything to or with
her.
As she walks towards me, I’m feeling like alligator bait. When she is invading my
personal space, she starts to sing about a devil in disguise (she runs her hand on
my chest); a snake with blue eyes (puts her fingers on a ‘V’ shape and passes them
in front of her eyes); only coming out at night, giving you feelings you don’t want
to fight (she runs her nails from my left chest, through the front, starts to walk
around me while continuing to use her nails to the right side and all the way around
my back – I have chills now); then she takes a fist full of hair and pulls my head
back until my lips are next to her lips, only to break the spell by wrapping her arm
around my neck, coming back to my front and sitting on my lap while singing about
begging the girl to listen to her advice.
I’m starting to feel a hard on coming up, when she smiles at me and gets off my lap
and starts to walk towards the stage to finish the last verse. She belts out all the
hard notes and shows the power she has in her voice, when it dawns on me that Brianna
is powerful in many ways, she is strong, fearless, opinionated, honest, loyal, and
beautiful beyond words and I love every single aspect of her personality.
She ends her song in the same position as the one she had when she started singing,
but during the last note, her shoulders move and her head twists allowing her to look
over her shoulder at the audience,
her
audience, and the final trick is to wink and blow a kiss out to them. The crowd goes
completely wild, they are clapping and hollering twice as hard as they did for me.
Traxx and Notso are signaling that I might as well be dead.
I hate to admit it, but Brianna is the one who has the cat in the bag. I smile at
her and get up on my feet to clap as hard and loud as I can while whistling and hollering
for her. Only her.
Brianna
I cannot believe it. I have outdone myself! The best part? To see Colton’s face when
he heard me belt out the notes… Ha! Priceless!
The emcee comes to the stage with his microphone.
“Well ladies and gentlemen, was that fun or what?” More screaming from the audience.
“Colton, can you please come to the stage? We are getting ready to vote between the
two of you.” He gives Colton a few minutes. “At this time, I need the showcase judges
to vote for their favorite performer of the night.” Colton has jogged to the front
and is now on the stage next to me.
“I am going to point to one of them, and you are going to make noise – as much or
as little as you want, to decide who is the winner.” He points at Colton first and
the place goes crazy. I notice that most of the hollering is being done by girls.
I figured as much, but I am confident that I kicked ass, too, so I clap for Colton
as hard as I can. He is putting his hand to his ear, like the wrestler Hulk Hogan,
to work up the audience. Too funny.
Then, the emcee quiets the audience and then, with a grand gesture, he points at me.
If I thought this place was loud before, it is super loud now. I move my arms up and
down gesturing the crowd to give me more and lo and behold, they do – it gets even
louder. There’s clapping, table banging, whistling, hell, you name it. Colton is
also clapping with a look of pride on his face. I would have thought he may be upset
that he lost, but he doesn’t seem to care. He is definitely NOT a sore loser.
The emcee says “And the winner of the bet is…” he takes my hand and raises it as high
as possible, “Brianna!!!! Show her some love!” I jump in place and then feel Colton’s
arms around me, he is lifting me high. I place my arms around his neck. He lowers
me to the ground where we end up forehead to forehead, looking at each other with
gooey eyes. I think he is going to kiss me. I can see it all over his face that he
wants to. Then, I realize that I want him to kiss me, too. I have magically tuned
out everyone inside this bar and in my head it’s only Colton and I.
Kiss me! Kiss me! Kiss me!
My heart is beating so fast and when he suddenly starts to move his head, I think
it is
going to happen, and as I am closing my eyes, I feel his breath near my mouth and
then, he finally kisses me…
on my cheek
.
What the hell?!
Really?
Is this really happening to me? Geesh,
Not cool – not cool at all!!!
My eyes pop open and a frown takes the place of the gooey eyes I was giving him.
He looks at me aware that something has shifted. I feel my cheeks flaming and suddenly
I am embarrassed. All I want to do is be gone. Away from him. Turning around, I try
to walk back to the table to get Ciara and go. I’m only thinking how I could be so
stupid to get caught up in this moment. Asshole. It’s all his fault. Why does he have
to be so… persistent? As I am putting physical as well as emotional distance from
Colton, I hear the emcee’s voice reeling me back in.
“Hold on, not so fast! Brianna, please come back here.” He smiles and it makes me
feel a little more at-ease. I have to play it cool until this is all over. I plaster
one of those fake smiles that I used to have a long time ago, take a deep breath and
get ready to put on a show. I place my chin up high and square my shoulders, faking
a reassurance that I deeply know does not exists.
Once I am next to him again, he continues, “I have received the decision from the
judges and unanimously, they voted YOU the winner of the showcase!!! The crowd erupts
again with applause and screaming, I am smiling, but I am also numb. I don’t give
a shit. They hand me a small trophy, some flowers and the check. I look towards the
table, and realize I did not notice Colton going back there. Ciara is jumping up and
down, screaming her head off. I walk off the stage and towards the table. People are
high fiving me as I walk back. All I can think is that instead of a victory walk,
it feels like I am walking towards the gallows.
Notso comes around the table gives me a super tight hug, then I see Ciara coming to
me doing the same. They are screaming “We won, we won.”
“Yeah, I know.” I glance at Colton wishing the earth would open and swallow me whole
right then and there. He is staring me down and I look away unable to hold his gaze.
I can’t handle him and these unfamiliar feelings I’m having. I hate being emotional.
I want to think I have evolved from the ‘
me’
that I used to be.
“No, you don’t understand, Brianna… the bets, the money, we won the pot!” I finally
look at Ciara and Notso, my eyes focusing on their happy faces.
“We won the pot? Awesome!” – another fake smile – “How much did we win?”
“Well, there were 57 people who made bets, and only three people bet in your favor,
so we divided the $1,140.00 by 3 and it comes to $380 a piece!!! Yay!!” Ciara is super
excited.
“Cool. That’s what I call hustling. Wait a minute, who is the third one? I know it
was you, me... and who else?”
“Well, Notso here heard me say how amazing you were and he got smart and bet for you
too – even though he had already put his money on Colton.” She winks at Notso.
Traxx chimes in and says “You would think that he would share this bit of information
with his best friends, but nooo, the mother-fucker keeps it all to himself.”
“That’s what you get for having your boy’s back! There is a new powerhouse in town,
her name is Brianna and you better remember that shit!” I tell him and laugh out loud,
continuing to fake this victory’s happiness.
I tell Ciara that I am ready to go. Colton hears this and stands up to tell me he
needs to speak with me.
“Later, Colton. I don’t have the energy to deal with you. I need to go for a ride
and get out of my head for a little bit.”
“Can I take you? Shit, I mean, can I take you for a ride?” He is rubbing the back
of his head with his left hand. He’s feeling insecure. Too damned bad.
I avoid his eyes. “Nah, this is something I enjoy doing alone.” I start gathering
my things and nod to Ciara to do the same.
“But I don’t think is safe for you to be riding alone, especially after drinking!”
I’ve got to give it to him. He does sound like he is concerned. I look at him then
and laugh out loud at what he said.
“Colton, you do not need to be concerned about me. I only had a couple of shots and
didn’t even finish the drink I had ordered. You need to be concerned for whoever crosses
my path when I’m feeling like this. I realize you have never seen me in action, but
I can guarantee you it would not be a pretty sight for whomever tries to get in my
way, and that, might as well include you. So please, stop faking all this concern
and let me be. I’m a big girl. Correction: I am a
kickass
girl!”
With that I turn around and walk away. I hear Ciara tell someone that it’s okay, that
I always win all the fights and not to worry and that I just need to cool off.
Damn right, I do.
Chapter 9
Brianna
The combination of fresh air, speed and music always works to calm my nerves. I know
it is safer to ride my bike without the music part, but music is important to me.
It helps me think more clearly. It helps me see what my next steps should be. However
nothing seems to be working at this moment. I drove to this hill, where there is a
dirt road with a view of the city lights. There is a smooth breeze and the sky is
clear of clouds, which is the very opposite of the way my thoughts were presenting
themselves.
I was aware of the impact that Colton was making in my life, stirring feelings I have
never had before. Would it really be that bad for me to try to be normal? Keeping
everyone at bay did not seem to be working anymore. The attraction I feel for Colton
is like those shown in the movies. I really never thought people were capable of having
those feelings towards another human being. It’s like I am inside a ship in the vast
sea, just bobbing aimlessly in the water and Colton is coming at me like the perfect
storm. A tsunami of feelings and emotions that are so large in magnitude, it is impossible
to ignore. It is impossible to run away. There is no escape. Perhaps I just need to
let him drown me with his presence and maybe I can experience what he has to offer.
The problem with all of this is my past. How can anyone be in a relationship, even
if it is not a serious one, and not be fully honest? If I continue to hide from him
what happened to me, and somehow it comes out, he will hate me because I did not tell
him. And if I do tell him, he may not want to be with me because this baggage I carry
is quite heavy and I do not know when I will be able to drop it off and get rid of
it. Decisions, decisions.
Suddenly, I hear a familiar beep. I pull my phone out of my jacket pocket and take
a look. It’s not a familiar number. I was going to ignore it and not read it, but
I received a second one from the same number and thought it was quite strange. Curiosity
took over and I opened the texts.
Unknown – Brianna, where are you?
Unknown – Sorry, forgot to tell you it’s Colton
What the hell???
Brianna – How did you get my number?
Unknown – Ciara gave it to me few days back against her better judgment. Don’t be
mad at her
I added his name to my contact list.
Brianna – What do you want?
Colton – I need to see you. We need to talk
Brianna – Not a good idea. I’m still a little pissed off. Big emphasis on ‘little’
which really means ‘lots’ :/
Colton – I can wait until you decide to come to your place. I’m riding around for
now
Brianna – Go home. Tonight’s not working for me
Colton – Please?? I need to explain what happened earlier
Crap. I feel vulnerable and I don’t want to do it, but I really want to see him too.
So against
my
better judgment, I will agree to see him. My heart is jumping out of my chest with
happiness and my brain is melting out of my head with worry. *Sigh*
Brianna – I guess I contracted stupidity from somebody tonight, because I am going
to actually agree to see you. I’ll be at my place in 15. While you wait, go to the
convenience store and fetch me a Coke and a Whatchamacallit. If I am going to have
to deal with you, then I need caffeine and sugar. Please and thank you. I wouldn’t
want you thinking I have no manners.
Colton – Consider it done. It’s the least I can do. *<*
Brianna – What does *<* means? I have never seen that before.
Colton – It means I’m ‘starry eyed’ about seeing you and I just came up with it
So doggone sweet. I had a smile from ear to ear and suddenly I was glad he was not
in front of me, because I was acting like the fool I was trying to avoid being.
Brianna – Kool. See you in a few
Colton – K. Be careful please.
I tuck my long hair under my jacket, zip up, pull my helmet over my head and secured
it, and took off back to my place thinking I was getting ready to face my own personal
tsunami. It was time to sink or swim.
Colton
I almost gave in to that kiss. I
wanted
to give in. It felt good to have her in my arms. It was perfect. During those brief
moments, she was smiling and happy. I kept thinking if there would be a time in the
near future when I would be the cause of her happiness. I want to put a smile on her
face. I want to make her laugh. I want to be the one to give her pleasure. I need
to know the way she feels when she is completely sated with my touch. When she had
her arms around my neck I could smell her without a lot of effort, it was a mix between
coconut and vanilla. I wanted to sink my nose into her skin and take her scent, take
her
in. I wanted to engrave this memory on my brain because I was not sure when or if
I would ever get another chance to have her so close. Then I almost kissed her. I
saw her disappointment when I didn’t and in a twisted way, I was glad she was disappointed
because it let me know that she wanted me as much as I wanted her.
Brianna’s leaving suddenly after her win at “Twisted” left me in a bit of shock. I
don’t like knowing she is upset with me. I kept debating whether I should call her
or give her the space she wanted. What I really wanted to do was to find her and try
to make her understand what is going on inside my head. A while later, I finally
sort
of gave in to my anxiety and called Ciara to see if it was safe to come to the apartment
only to be told she was still out riding. I needed to hear her voice. I wanted to
have her in my arms. Something deep inside tells me that I have to take it slow with
her. If she thinks I want too much from her she will run for good.
After hanging up with Ciara, I decided to take a chance. I thought that calling may
feel somewhat ‘pushy’ so I texted her instead. No, I cannot recall being this sappy
ever
. But this girl does things to me that are hard to explain. When I am finally able
to get in touch with Brianna, I am not going to let her tell me no… We need to talk
and to try to figure out what is going on with us. I have never felt this way for
anyone before. Based on the things she has said or, I should say ‘barely mentioned’
about her past, she has never had a strong attraction for anyone either. That’s one
thing we have in common, we don’t do committed relationships. Not sure that I want
it, but when I try to picture myself with another girl – I can’t. The picture in my
head always turns out to be Brianna. And when I try to imagine her with someone else,
I feel sick to my stomach. I get angry with myself. I want her to want me and only
me.
I pull in front of the gate and enter the code Ciara had given me. I park in a space
across from the building’s entrance. When I glance down at my drink holder, I look
at the candy bar and can’t hide my smile. I wonder if it is her favorite or just a
random craving. Suddenly I envision her sharing the candy bar from her mouth to mine.
Oh! Those sexy lips, the things I can ask her to do with them!
I am plucked back into reality when I hear a motorcycle approaching, I turn to look
as she parks in front of me. I could watch her dismount the motorcycle a million times
and never get bored. Hmmm. I’m getting too many ideas, and now is not the time to
improvise any games. I grab her drink and candy bar and climb out of the truck. She
has taken her helmet off and is combing her fingers through her hair.
“Hi.” I say and move towards her handing her the Coke and candy.
“Here I am Colton. What now?” She looks at me expectantly and takes a large sip of
her drink. She does not seem to be angry any longer. She motions to sit down on the
steps leading to her building. Since it is such a nice night and there is no one out
and about, I do not mind. We sit side by side, close to one another so that my thigh
and shoulders are touching hers. I like it.
She opens the candy bar and offers me some. Our eyes are locked. I take a small bite
and savor the peanut flavored crisps and as I pull away, a string of caramel follows
my lips. As I move to wipe it with my finger, Brianna says “Let me do it.” She takes
her index finger and softly swipes it over my lips, capturing the caramel culprit,
and proceeds to lick her finger, very, very slowly.
Fuck.
I decide it is time to start talking or I will lose all my wits.
“I hope this doesn’t feel awkward after what happened at the club.” I look at her
and give her a little smile. I am playing with the wrapper that was covering her straw,
just trying to keep my hands busy so that they are not tempted to touch her.
“Nope, it’s okay.” She answers but does not look at me. She is steadily looking out
at the parking lot. Staring at nothing in particular. Anything other than me, I suppose.
“I really wanted to give you a real kiss after your win, but I couldn’t do it. Our
first real kiss is not going to be a public moment. When I kiss you for the first
time, it will be intimate. It will be passionate. It will be needy. Those are things
that only you and I will experience. All those people have no business witnessing
our private moment. And, believe me when I tell you that it will happen. I will mark
your lips with all the
want
I have for you. It will not be tame. When I kiss you for the first time, I will assault
all your senses. You are going to be happy that it’s only shared between you and me,
because there are
things,
things that are not appropriate to mention at this moment, but things that I will
do to you, intimate things that will leave you panting and wanting more.”
I want to see her face. I move so that I crouch on the very first step and place my
hands on her knees so that I can look up into her eyes. She seems startled by my movement
and momentarily tenses. Her eyes are wide and her expression is showing a bit of surprise.
Even in the bad light of the parking lot, I notice her cheeks blooming with red. After
a few seconds I feel her relax and a sweet, shy smile spreads on her face, flashing
her dimple my way.
“Look, Brianna, I am going to attempt to do something that I have never done with
anyone else, and please let’s put a lot of emphasis on the ‘never’. I
need
you to listen to everything I am about to say without cutting me off. I need you
to be objective and don’t jump to conclusions. Agreed?”
“I think I can accomplish that. Here take a sip.” She wrinkles her nose and gives
me a little smile, points the straw at my mouth for me to drink. I take a long sip
while she bites the tip of her tongue with her lips, as if she is concentrating on
a very difficult task, then she takes a huge bite of that candy bar.
Adorable.
“Okay. Here is the deal. I grew up with a family that is financially strong. My parents
have always tried to run my life, not letting me participate in anything that I was
interested in doing. I was only allowed to do what they wanted me to do. Then, they
were never there for me to show support. My father never told me he was proud of my
achievements regardless of the number of good grades, trophies or medals I brought
back to him. My mother was unattached, to say the least, worrying more about what
she would wear for the next social occasion, instead of seeing about my wellbeing.
The only one who cared for me was my grandmother, Alice. She was always there for
everything I participated in. She came to visit me every Saturday when I was a kid
and took the time to play games and take me out to the movies and for ice cream, but
most importantly she spent time with me. We talked, baked cookies, played board games.
She made me feel loved.
Brianna
The combination of fresh air, speed and music always works to calm my nerves. I know
it is safer to ride my bike without the music part, but music is important to me.
It helps me think more clearly. It helps me see what my next steps should be. However
nothing seems to be working at this moment. I drove to this hill, where there is a
dirt road with a view of the city lights. There is a smooth breeze and the sky is
clear of clouds, which is the very opposite of the way my thoughts were presenting
themselves.
I was aware of the impact that Colton was making in my life, stirring feelings I have
never had before. Would it really be that bad for me to try to be normal? Keeping
everyone at bay did not seem to be working anymore. The attraction I feel for Colton
is like those shown in the movies. I really never thought people were capable of having
those feelings towards another human being. It’s like I am inside a ship in the vast
sea, just bobbing aimlessly in the water and Colton is coming at me like the perfect
storm. A tsunami of feelings and emotions that are so large in magnitude, it is impossible
to ignore. It is impossible to run away. There is no escape. Perhaps I just need to
let him drown me with his presence and maybe I can experience what he has to offer.
The problem with all of this is my past. How can anyone be in a relationship, even
if it is not a serious one, and not be fully honest? If I continue to hide from him
what happened to me, and somehow it comes out, he will hate me because I did not tell
him. And if I do tell him, he may not want to be with me because this baggage I carry
is quite heavy and I do not know when I will be able to drop it off and get rid of
it. Decisions, decisions.
Suddenly, I hear a familiar beep. I pull my phone out of my jacket pocket and take
a look. It’s not a familiar number. I was going to ignore it and not read it, but
I received a second one from the same number and thought it was quite strange. Curiosity
took over and I opened the texts.
Unknown – Brianna, where are you?
Unknown – Sorry, forgot to tell you it’s Colton
What the hell???
Brianna – How did you get my number?
Unknown – Ciara gave it to me few days back against her better judgment. Don’t be
mad at her
I added his name to my contact list.
Brianna – What do you want?
Colton – I need to see you. We need to talk
Brianna – Not a good idea. I’m still a little pissed off. Big emphasis on ‘little’
which really means ‘lots’ :/
Colton – I can wait until you decide to come to your place. I’m riding around for
now
Brianna – Go home. Tonight’s not working for me
Colton – Please?? I need to explain what happened earlier
Crap. I feel vulnerable and I don’t want to do it, but I really want to see him too.
So against
my
better judgment, I will agree to see him. My heart is jumping out of my chest with
happiness and my brain is melting out of my head with worry. *Sigh*
Brianna – I guess I contracted stupidity from somebody tonight, because I am going
to actually agree to see you. I’ll be at my place in 15. While you wait, go to the
convenience store and fetch me a Coke and a Whatchamacallit. If I am going to have
to deal with you, then I need caffeine and sugar. Please and thank you. I wouldn’t
want you thinking I have no manners.
Colton – Consider it done. It’s the least I can do. *<*
Brianna – What does *<* means? I have never seen that before.
Colton – It means I’m ‘starry eyed’ about seeing you and I just came up with it
So doggone sweet. I had a smile from ear to ear and suddenly I was glad he was not
in front of me, because I was acting like the fool I was trying to avoid being.
Brianna – Kool. See you in a few
Colton – K. Be careful please.
I tuck my long hair under my jacket, zip up, pull my helmet over my head and secured
it, and took off back to my place thinking I was getting ready to face my own personal
tsunami. It was time to sink or swim.
Colton
I almost gave in to that kiss. I
wanted
to give in. It felt good to have her in my arms. It was perfect. During those brief
moments, she was smiling and happy. I kept thinking if there would be a time in the
near future when I would be the cause of her happiness. I want to put a smile on her
face. I want to make her laugh. I want to be the one to give her pleasure. I need
to know the way she feels when she is completely sated with my touch. When she had
her arms around my neck I could smell her without a lot of effort, it was a mix between
coconut and vanilla. I wanted to sink my nose into her skin and take her scent, take
her
in. I wanted to engrave this memory on my brain because I was not sure when or if
I would ever get another chance to have her so close. Then I almost kissed her. I
saw her disappointment when I didn’t and in a twisted way, I was glad she was disappointed
because it let me know that she wanted me as much as I wanted her.
Brianna’s leaving suddenly after her win at “Twisted” left me in a bit of shock. I
don’t like knowing she is upset with me. I kept debating whether I should call her
or give her the space she wanted. What I really wanted to do was to find her and try
to make her understand what is going on inside my head. A while later, I finally
sort
of gave in to my anxiety and called Ciara to see if it was safe to come to the apartment
only to be told she was still out riding. I needed to hear her voice. I wanted to
have her in my arms. Something deep inside tells me that I have to take it slow with
her. If she thinks I want too much from her she will run for good.
After hanging up with Ciara, I decided to take a chance. I thought that calling may
feel somewhat ‘pushy’ so I texted her instead. No, I cannot recall being this sappy
ever
. But this girl does things to me that are hard to explain. When I am finally able
to get in touch with Brianna, I am not going to let her tell me no… We need to talk
and to try to figure out what is going on with us. I have never felt this way for
anyone before. Based on the things she has said or, I should say ‘barely mentioned’
about her past, she has never had a strong attraction for anyone either. That’s one
thing we have in common, we don’t do committed relationships. Not sure that I want
it, but when I try to picture myself with another girl – I can’t. The picture in my
head always turns out to be Brianna. And when I try to imagine her with someone else,
I feel sick to my stomach. I get angry with myself. I want her to want me and only
me.
I pull in front of the gate and enter the code Ciara had given me. I park in a space
across from the building’s entrance. When I glance down at my drink holder, I look
at the candy bar and can’t hide my smile. I wonder if it is her favorite or just a
random craving. Suddenly I envision her sharing the candy bar from her mouth to mine.
Oh! Those sexy lips, the things I can ask her to do with them!
I am plucked back into reality when I hear a motorcycle approaching, I turn to look
as she parks in front of me. I could watch her dismount the motorcycle a million times
and never get bored. Hmmm. I’m getting too many ideas, and now is not the time to
improvise any games. I grab her drink and candy bar and climb out of the truck. She
has taken her helmet off and is combing her fingers through her hair.
“Hi.” I say and move towards her handing her the Coke and candy.
“Here I am Colton. What now?” She looks at me expectantly and takes a large sip of
her drink. She does not seem to be angry any longer. She motions to sit down on the
steps leading to her building. Since it is such a nice night and there is no one out
and about, I do not mind. We sit side by side, close to one another so that my thigh
and shoulders are touching hers. I like it.
She opens the candy bar and offers me some. Our eyes are locked. I take a small bite
and savor the peanut flavored crisps and as I pull away, a string of caramel follows
my lips. As I move to wipe it with my finger, Brianna says “Let me do it.” She takes
her index finger and softly swipes it over my lips, capturing the caramel culprit,
and proceeds to lick her finger, very, very slowly.
Fuck.
I decide it is time to start talking or I will lose all my wits.
“I hope this doesn’t feel awkward after what happened at the club.” I look at her
and give her a little smile. I am playing with the wrapper that was covering her straw,
just trying to keep my hands busy so that they are not tempted to touch her.
“Nope, it’s okay.” She answers but does not look at me. She is steadily looking out
at the parking lot. Staring at nothing in particular. Anything other than me, I suppose.
“I really wanted to give you a real kiss after your win, but I couldn’t do it. Our
first real kiss is not going to be a public moment. When I kiss you for the first
time, it will be intimate. It will be passionate. It will be needy. Those are things
that only you and I will experience. All those people have no business witnessing
our private moment. And, believe me when I tell you that it will happen. I will mark
your lips with all the
want
I have for you. It will not be tame. When I kiss you for the first time, I will assault
all your senses. You are going to be happy that it’s only shared between you and me,
because there are
things,
things that are not appropriate to mention at this moment, but things that I will
do to you, intimate things that will leave you panting and wanting more.”
I want to see her face. I move so that I crouch on the very first step and place my
hands on her knees so that I can look up into her eyes. She seems startled by my movement
and momentarily tenses. Her eyes are wide and her expression is showing a bit of surprise.
Even in the bad light of the parking lot, I notice her cheeks blooming with red. After
a few seconds I feel her relax and a sweet, shy smile spreads on her face, flashing
her dimple my way.
“Look, Brianna, I am going to attempt to do something that I have never done with
anyone else, and please let’s put a lot of emphasis on the ‘never’. I
need
you to listen to everything I am about to say without cutting me off. I need you
to be objective and don’t jump to conclusions. Agreed?”
“I think I can accomplish that. Here take a sip.” She wrinkles her nose and gives
me a little smile, points the straw at my mouth for me to drink. I take a long sip
while she bites the tip of her tongue with her lips, as if she is concentrating on
a very difficult task, then she takes a huge bite of that candy bar.
Adorable.
“Okay. Here is the deal. I grew up with a family that is financially strong. My parents
have always tried to run my life, not letting me participate in anything that I was
interested in doing. I was only allowed to do what they wanted me to do. Then, they
were never there for me to show support. My father never told me he was proud of my
achievements regardless of the number of good grades, trophies or medals I brought
back to him. My mother was unattached, to say the least, worrying more about what
she would wear for the next social occasion, instead of seeing about my wellbeing.
The only one who cared for me was my grandmother, Alice. She was always there for
everything I participated in. She came to visit me every Saturday when I was a kid
and took the time to play games and take me out to the movies and for ice cream, but
most importantly she spent time with me. We talked, baked cookies, played board games.
She made me feel loved.
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