Tickle His Pickle: Your Hands-On Guide to Penis Pleasing (9 page)

Setting video boundaries.
Adult videos should be used to lift up your love life, not create a crutch. You should both agree on what types of adult entertainment you’ll watch, and how often they should be watched. Remember: there’s no obligation to watch any of them, and either of you should have the power to pull the plug.

It’s no big deal, really.
It’s just another couple having sex. If you don’t like the particular couple you’re watching, fast forward to the next couple. If the words or sounds bother you, click ‘mute’ and play your favorite music and simply let the video run as background visuals.

They’re better then ever.
Did you know that many adult videos now come with no talky backstories—just erotic scenes? Just find the genres that turn you on, and give the fast forward button a rest.

You might actually like it.
Whoa!
Could you actually find yourself getting wet watching a real hunk working some extraordinary magic with his tongue? What if...while you’re watching...your own guy starts working the same magic on you? Have you ever had an explosive orgasm like THAT?

You could learn something.
If the action doesn’t move you, try watching it strictly as an educational video you can secretly title, Moves to Mimic.

You can satisfy his fantasies.
Is he into anything you’re not particularly fond of? Foot love? Light bondage? Anal sex? Then select a video that plays to his fetishes, and bypass the part about your own participation. He’s happy—and you’re off the hook. And don’t neglect watching movies featuring fetishes of your own! V

Sadie Sez:

Mute your cynical soundtrack.
There’s no bigger turn-off for a guy than to hear his woman picking apart the adult video he’s enjoying. Sure they’re acting. Sure those are fake breasts. Sure that was a “real” orgasm. Surely you can find something better to do with your mouth!

5

Hair Today-Gone Tomorrow

P
ubic hair first appears at adolescence, and never stops growing.Whether you prefer your partner’s pubic hair curly, fine and soft—or thick, course and bushy—his fur lining is determined entirely by his genetic makeup.Admire it in the wild. Or groom it to your liking.

It’s believed that pubic hair is designed to catch and hold pheromones, his powerful sex-attractant scent you may subconsciously detect. It also holds his powerful anti-attractant, sweat, which you may also detect, not so subconsciously. By trimming or shaving him, he should start smelling fresher, looking tidier—and giving you less wiry underbrush to blaze trails through.

It’s okay to suggest a little trim, or even a full shave-down. He may discover he likes the look, as well as the virgin feeling of your lips, tongue and labia on his formerly bush-covered real estate.

Why not make a special occasion out of this, and do the trimming for him?

Sadie Sez:

The sweet smell of success.
Trimmed, shaven, or unshorn, for the sweetest smelling experience, ask him to wash and rinse thoroughly with soap and water every day.After all, won’t you want to spend more time in the southland when the air is fresh and clean?

Preparing To Groom

Since you’ll be wielding sharp steel cutting tools so close to his precious package, his level of trust in you must be very high. That’s why it’s especially important there’s no clowning around, and you’re both completely sober.

Get him in a comfortable, stable position where there’s no chance of anyone losing balance. Sit him in the bathroom, stand him in the shower or even lay him down on the couch. Place a towel underneath to act as a drop-cloth, and have a bowl of warm water at-hand for rinsing.

Don’t rush! Give yourselves an hour or more to get it right. If he’s open to the idea of grooming, but nervous about the blade, you can trim or shave the outer parts and let him handle the delicate areas himself. Have a hand-mirror ready for him, too.

Make sure all your cutting instruments are new or sharp. Choose mild, hypoallergenic shaving gels, lotions and creams—and experiment till you find what works best. Have a jar of aloe vera gel handy to soothe any razor burn, and a tissue to clot any nicks.

Caution:
If he ever has allergic reactions or irritations after shaving his face, then expect them to be even worse down below. Never use hair-dissolving sprays or chemical tear-offs from cheesy late-night infomercials. They’re for your own legs.

The Light Trim

The thickest hair usually covers the pubic bone and encircles the base of the penis. Some hair also grows on the scrotum, on the bottom of the shaft, inside the buttcrack, and up a “happy trail” to his belly button. How much you trim is up to the two of you.

Simply use a pair of scissors—blunt-nosed are safest—or a clean electric beard trimmer (if it’s not a plug-in, use fresh batteries for optimum performance). Be careful never to touch the trimmer to the skin of his scrotum.

Sadie Sez:

Shaving adds length!
If he’s nervous about grooming, tell him it will make his penis look larger! How? It’s an optical illusion because more of his penis is now visible to the naked eye—and I’ll bet he won’t object if you admire it!

Shape the underbrush to an even, pleasing, stylized length—just comb and tug like a professional stylist to straighten the hair, then trim it off. Stand back and admire your handiwork. Since this should result in less chafing during sex, why not reverse roles and let him give you a light trim, too?

Sometimes even the best trim can look a bit out of place if his entire midsection is hairy. You can blend your trim into the surrounding hair by gliding a double- or triple-edged razor ⅛-inch above his skin. Keep rinsing the blade as soon as it clogs with hair, and use your best artistic sense to feather your work into his outlying areas.

The Clean Shave

For the truly naked look, you can shave everything—base, balls, shaft and butt—right down to his soft smooth skin. Here’s how.

Start him off with a light trim (see above), but swoop in closer for a crew-cut. Now ease him into a hot relaxing bath or shower to help set up the hair follicles for smoother shaving. Towel him off from head to toe, stopping for a loving pat-dry in the middle. Now apply plenty of a moisturizing, low-or-no foam shaving product, and wait several minutes for everything to soften.

With a fresh cartridge in the safety razor, you’re ready to begin:

Use a light touch.
No need for a lot of pressure on the razor’s handle—it doesn’t give a closer shave and it can be extra irritating. If the razor starts to drag, click in a fresh cartridge.

Shave around the base.
Try to minimize the number of passes with the razor. First shave
with
the grain (the direction the hair grows), then against the grain. Keep rinsing the blade in warm water.