... Then Just Stay Fat. (8 page)

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Suck It Up

You’re
gonna
have to toughen up to pull this off.

Commitment.
A word we hear often in many contexts
—
re
lationships, war efforts, diets
and even insane asylums (we all know a couple of people we
think ought to be committed).
According to Dictionary.com, “commit” comes from the Latin “com +
mittere
” meaning “to send, give over.”

When I meet with new clients, at some point I ask i
f they are ready to “do this.”
Are the
y committed to making it work? All of them say yes.
Yet not all
of them stick with it.
Some quit, fall out, give up, disappear – one frankly said she didn’t want to “addres
s her food” and that was that.
At least she was honest.

Everyone says they are
“committed,” but they aren’t.
They might like the idea of it, the so
und of it, but based on results
they aren
’t fully on board. Why?
Do they underestimate the extent of their
statements?
Unable to see the long-range impact of wha
t being committed truly means?
Are they just telling me what I w
ant to hear to keep the peace?
Perhaps they have a pattern of incomplete
goals (maybe even some
wholesale avoidance so no s
ting of failure is ever felt).
Maybe they d
on’t like having to surrender.
What is it?

My gut says the ones who fall out have not developed their internal systems
—
wrapped their minds aroun
d what it means to “commit.”
They don’t understand you must “give yourself over” to somet
hing (or just aren’t willing).
They think they comprehend what commitment means, but they aren’t able to envision the day-to-d
ay moments where it gets hard.
After the emotional high of starting a new program wears
off, the daily grind sets in.
There’s no “commitment” (internal workings) to see them through the tough spots
,
and quitting becomes attractive.

I know ever
yone is capable of commitment.
I can’t think of a
soul who wouldn’t lose 20 pounds for $10 million.
They’d be out to dinner, facing down a molten lava cake, and say
, “No thank you, I’m losing 20 pounds.”
Or their friends would say
, “O
h
,
come on, skip the gy
m and meet us for happy hour.”
They’d say
, “C
an’t do th
at” and
glee
fully stride off to a workout.
Committed.

The challenge begins when the commitment goe
s from extrinsic to intrinsic.
Some of us have yet to develop a deep ability to
generate internal commitments.
That’s why we hire trainers, join offi
ce “weight
-
loss pools” and sign contracts. Extrinsically
motivated commitment
s are a little easier to keep.
But to make it for the long haul, we’ve got dig deep and generate those internal systems aimed at creating and fulfilling intrinsically
-
motivated commitments.

When you a
re contemplating your next goal
—
a relationship, a coll
ege degree, getting out of debt or losing weight
—
take some time to reflect on your
ability to internally commit.
Wrap yourself in the notio
n of “do it ‘til you’re done.”
Picture yourself climbing into a canoe alone, floating a
way from the shore amidst white
water rapids, you and your paddle are all that can get you safely to the calm pool below, no turning back, no do-o
vers, get down there or drown.
When you nudge yourself away from the muddy river’s edge, out of reach of nary a tree limb or rock, you have committed yourself to the ride.

Create that white
water canoe ride inside yourself and you are well on your wa
y to being a committed person.
And I don’t mean the Cuckoo’s Nest kind.

Everything is
getting bigger.
 
Cars, houses, furniture, clothing,
drink cups, plates... people?
 
And don’t forget debts.

My Depression-
era gr
andparents didn't owe a thing.
 
My grandmot
her washed and reused Ziplocs.
 
No lie.
 
She
hung them from a clothesline.
 
On "I Love Lucy" (don't judge me), I watched Lucy set out the tiniest glass of orange juice f
or Ricky in a "juice glass."
 
Now, you can get a Big Gulp of the stuff, and it's normal.

I still have a pair of Levi's 501s from the
‘
80s (my girlfriend calls them my barometer pants)
that I use to torture myself.
 
They are my gauge across time.
 
They are also my proof tha
t clothing sizes have changed.
 
When I'm a comfortable 10, those 1980s jeans fit... and their tag says 14.

Ev
erything keeps getting bigger.
 
When is enough, enough?

We’ve lost the art of “no.”
 
Somewhere between 1920 and now, the notion of turning something down, refusing it, has gone poof.

I’m not talking about telling
MeeMaw
where to get o
ff when she asks you to visit.
 
I’m talking about delayed gratification – no to the doughnut, the newer car with its hefty payment, the fifth dinner out in one week, the kids whining for a piece of plastic junk, and no to the bake sale asking
you for 20 dozen cupcakes.
 
NO.

It's time to get a backbone and tell others “I’m s
orry, I just can’t right now.”
 
It’s time for self-discipline
—
say “hell no” to the exce
ss food that’s making you fat.
 
NO.

It’s empowering once
you get into the swing of it.
 
Try it.
 
Next time you are in the grocery aisle, contemplating the fresh cookies on s
ale $6.99 for a baker’s dozen, grip that cart and stomp away.
 
NO.
 
(Sometimes I feel even better if I shake the cart a little and huff – a little temper tantrum aimed at myself.)

Tempted by new-car ads?
 
Mentally slap yourself and remember:
 
their marketing machine is powerful
and they are after your money.
 
Your old car still drives and that new car won’t make you skinny, roll back the years, or repl
enish your receding hair line.
 
You’ll still be middle-aged, chunky and bald – and in more debt.

I know you think a trainer has no bu
siness doling out such advice.
 
What do I know about finances or time management?

I can tell you it doesn't take a rocket scientist to see the seven dea
dly sins are kicking our butt.
 
Everything is just TOO much.
 
And it walks through my door in the form of deconditioned, overweig
ht and often diabetic people.
 
It's time to reign in the excess.

C
an you hear 1980s Nancy Reagan?
Just say "no."

Many sedentary people embarking upon a fitness journey encounter what I like to cal
l "The Deconditioned Paradox."
 
This riddle dawned on me one day as I struggled to motivate a client to keep going one more min
ute.
 
He
had been begging to quit for 10 minutes, an
d he'd only been going for 15.

My puzzling thought:
 
you've got to spend energy you swear you don't have
to get
energy.

When you are sedentary
or unaccustomed to exercise, your body flat does not possess the infrastructure to meet the
demands of physical activity.
 
You don't have enough muscle fibers, mitochondria, blood volumes, nerve fibers, coordinated neural-muscular function, ATP, etc. to carry out the thought in your brain saying jog for two minutes, t
hen lift that weight 12 times.
 
Deconditioned people fatigue extremely
quickly, overheat, gasp for air
and feel like crumbling into a quivering heap a
t the least amount of exertion.

The problem is, the only
way
to get to a point where a deconditioned person can jog for two minutes
and
then lift that weight 12 times is to... wait for it... jog for two minutes
and
t
hen lift that weight 12 times.
 
You have to force yourself to spend energy you swear isn't there
—
push through the horrible moment and jus
t do it.
 
As
a result, your body gets a wake-
up call saying
,
"we need more muscle fibers,
mitochondria ,
blood, ne
rves, coordination, ATP, etc."
 
Without the wake-up call, your body doesn't
know
you need more
infrastructure
.
 
Without the additional infrastructure, physical ac
tivity won't ever feel easier.