... Then Just Stay Fat. (6 page)

It’s like everyone is afraid to just say
, “S
top it.”

We need a single, consistent mess
age, like “stop smoking.” It is unequivocal.
We didn’t
kinda
,
sorta
meander up to the topic.
The success of that simple message is ev
ident in our cultural changes.
Lucy a
nd Ricky smoked like chimneys.
There were commemorative Presidential
s
eal cigarette boxes.
Now,
nicotine-addicted presidents are lighting up in the backroom
.
Smoking was the norm; now smokers are a social pariah.

If the “stop smoking” messaging had been as wishy-washy as the obesity messaging is now, everyon
e would still be puffing away.
Can you imagine the craziness of
doctors afraid to bring it up?
Think about the insanity of experts telling smokers “stop smoking doesn’t work – it’s better to
learn to listen to your body,
get in touch with your inne
r feelings about the cravings,
discover
what childhood trauma caused you to smoke.”

No, we said
,
“stop smoking.
”
Period.
The logistics of how to accomplish it were left as secondary and tertiary issues.

Then why, oh why, can we all not simply say
, “stop overeating?”
Save the discussions of fiber, hydration, protein, emo
tions, meal timing, fat content
and all the ways we can navigate Twin
kie cravings for the trenches.
Save the diet semantics for later. 

I remember an anti-smoking
,
public
-
service ad in the
‘
70s des
igned to cause parental guilt.
A kid watched his father smoking and he reaches for the pack of cigar
ettes, too.
We’d be up in arms if that same ad were turned into a morbidly obese parent modeling behaviors for kids.

Why
is one behavior
considered “personal respons
ibility” and the other is not? Why is it OK
to wag our finger at one
, but not the other?
Drug use an
d smoking have clear messages: don’t do it.
Obesity?
Not so much.

Right now, we need to be at war with obesity, and no war has been won withou
t laser-focused communication. Try this:
Stop
o
vereating!

It’s time we all demanded a simple message.

Mirror
Mirror
on the Wall

It’s time to quit looking around for excuses and reasons. It’s time to own it.

On m
y way out of the bookstore one
day, I encountered a prominently positioned, large table stacked to the heavens with diet and weight-loss boo
ks
.
 
There were piles of "flat belly this" and "boost your metabolism that."
 
You name it; every diet-craze topi
c was on that table somewhere.

A woman stood there, staring at all of it.
 
She held a waded tissue and occasional
ly sniffed.
 
She, like most
of us, had some weight to lose.

I can't tell you why, but I felt compelled to remark on the craziness that was that pile of books.
 
Maybe I hoped for a chuckle.
 
"How can there be so da
ng many books on ONE subject?"

She didn't even look up – her expression flat.
 
"Because there are so many reasons we are overweight."
 
Then she wiped her nose.

I felt a visceral flash-fire surge to my brain.
 
The urge to scream, "no there aren't
—
there's ONE reason" almost made it across my lips.
 
Luckily, the social side of my brain quashed the urge and hurried me out the door before a scene could ensue.
 
I would have just wound up with a m
igraine and an angry stranger.

I stomped off to the car, half of me mad at the other half.
 
I stewed over my unshared response.
 
It nagged at me – and
still does
.
 
I take this opportunity to give voice to that part
 
of me.
 
Maybe it’ll shut up.

Here’s the deal.
 
We want it complicated.
 
Seriously we do.
 
Complicated means it’s not our fault.
 
The excuses feel valid.
 
Simple means we need to look in the mirror, and that’s probably
gonn
a
hurt.

Our desire for complicated explanations and solutions is sturdily reinforced by the fitness and weight-loss industry.
 
If it’s simple, you don't need their help
—
no pills, injections,
 
crazy diet books, gadgets, or DVD box sets.
 
Complicated sells.

So there
you
have it
—
consumers who want it complicated because the explanation doesn't hurt as badly, and an industry all too happy to
 
oblige.
 
It makes the money go ‘round.
 

We’ve all heard variations on the principle “simpler explanations are usually correct” or “select the competing hypothesis that makes the fewest new assumptions.”
 
It applies here
,
too.
 
It really doesn’t have to be complicated.
 
The simpler of two things is usually the answer.
 
You might be surprised at the results (and the money you’ll save).

About Metabolisms

Let's talk metabolism.
 
We hear about it all the time.
 
Products and exercises promise to "rev up" our metabolism.
 
Certain foods even!
 
The supposed experts have us picturing out bodies idling likes car engines, waiting for someone to mash on the gas pedal, zooming our way to skinnier, happier lives.

Yeah, not.

Here's the deal.
 
Metabolism is just the sum of our chemical and physical processes.
 
Within that definition, we have catabolism and anabolism.
 
Catabolism is to "break down" and anabolism is to "build up" (think anabolic steroids).
 
Most of us have been brainwashed to think of metabolism as "fast" or "slow."
 
I’m sorry
, b
ut
those chemical processes are building and destroying, all day, every day, at the rate they just do it.
 
There might be a lot of it going on, or
not so much – but fast or slow isn’t really the right way to think about it
.

Let's modify that “fast/slow model.”
 
How about metabolism simply being how much we need?
 
A big SUV needs a lot of gas.
 
A little Smart Car doesn't need so much.
 
We don't say the SUV is fast or slow.
 
We just think miles per gallon.
 
We might be able to tweak the engines here or there and force them to use more or less fuel, but will we turn the Smart Car into the gas-guzzling SUV?
 
Nope.

Same with us.
 
I don't care what I
do,
I will not ever be able to put away the same amount of food as a football-playing teenage boy in a growth spurt.
 
That kid can shovel in 3,000
-
4,000 calories a day and still claim he's starving.
 
I'd weigh 500 pounds.
 
If I completely dedicated myself to a specific lifestyle, full of hours in the gym, running several miles, staying on my feet, and closely monitoring how I spent my calories, I might be able to consume 2,500 calories/day and still look "reasonable."
 
That's pushing it, plus I don't want to live that way.
 
My better strategy is to figure out how much I actually need, and just stick to it (or below it).

Our energy needs are made up of three components:
 
resting metabolic rate (RMR
—
what we'd burn if we just stayed in bed all day), physical activity (purposeful exercise, fidgeting, grocery shopping, yard work, etc.), and the thermic effect of food/feeding (TEF
—
the energy needed to eat and digest the food).
 
Of those three, your highest level of control is physical activity.
 
The other two are more difficult to impact, if you can impact them at all.
 
You might get an extra 100 calories
a
day, give or take, from food choices and the addition of lean muscle-mass, but that's about it.
 
If you need to lose 20
pounds
, and assuming you’ve decoded how to wring out those 100 calories, you'd be waiting 700 days to lose
them
.
 
Your better strategy is to focus on the physical activity and take in less food.
 
Let the RMR and TEF be what they'll be.

Stop obsessing over negative-calorie foods, pills and weird exercise gadgets that claim to boost your metabolism.
 
I am what I am, and you are what you are.
 
Work within those parameters.

If you are a heavy girl and have ever heard a skinny girl claiming she can eat anything she wants, she just manages to stay thin,
then
you probably know jealousy.
 
You might even know a little hate, too.
 
The same goes for heavy guys when they hear muscle heads bragging about pizza and beer they d
owned during yesterday's game.

It makes
ya
just
wanna
hurt somebody, doesn't it?
 
How come *they* can eat anything they want and look fine, but you are relegated to
carrot sticks and rice cakes?

Welc
ome to the land of relativity.

(I know you think I just
nerded
ou
t, but don't move on just yet)

I had an ah-ha moment several years back when I was stuck in traffic, mulling over the fat/skinny people injustices and getting a little pissed about the whole thing.
 
I think I had been bathing suit shopping and was ready to throw myself off the nearest building.
 
The skinny 19-year-old bringing me "larger sizes" and remarking, "this style is a hip-minimizer" hadn't helped.
 
I hated her.
 
I had felt venom rise from my gut when I overheard her planning her Philly Cheese Steak
lunch at the mall food court.