The Throwaway Year (13 page)

She closed her eyes,
feeling the sting of rejection… again…

“Talk to you tomorrow.”

~***~

When Hayden walked into the canteen she hoped that she wouldn’t look at Brian and feel that strange sensation that she’d felt the day before.
He met her eyes and there seemed to be caution etched there.  Her heart sped up at the sight of him, and it was the most unwelcomed feeling possible.

“Hi,” h
e greeted her.

“Hey, how’s it going?”
This was pretending. This wasn’t real. It was just a means to get through this terrible year.

They ate their dinner more subdued than normal.
Eventually, Brian cleared his throat.  “Do you want to hear today’s affirmation?”

She looked up
, but avoided staring directly into those gray eyes that seemed to be able to see right down into her very soul.  “Sure.”

“It seems like I found this one when I really needed it.”
He began to recite it to her. “’In order to succeed I must imagine myself as already healthy, or as someone who has already overcome a challenge.’”

She let that sink in.
“That is more than a daily affirmation. Sometimes you find ones that hit home and then it becomes like… your mission’s motto instead of just a daily one. I have one that applies to my entire purpose too.”

His brow rose in interest.

She looked down at her hands as she repeated it, pretending to struggle with her memory, but she had never, and would never, forget this affirmation.  “’I am perfectly imperfect. I strive for better while loving all that I am today. In loving myself today, I am better equipped to improve myself tomorrow.’”

Brian was quiet.
“That seems perfect for you.” He cleared his throat again. “I’m going to hit the restroom. I’ll talk to you later.”

He carried his trash to the already overflowing can and smashed it down into it.
She watched him despite not wanting to feel the attraction that had not abated, but had instead just grown stronger.

Just because someone says something nice to
me, doesn’t mean that they’re falling in love with me…

She got up leaving her partially eaten meal on the table for someone else to clean up.

~***~

She had made two sales already tonight and almost mechanically she began the search for the next call.
The sale didn’t give her joy; it was just about getting to the money. Her eyes were scanning the phonebook page under pet stores when the front door of the building was pushed open hard enough to cause it to groan and the glass to rattle. She looked up in time to see blue suited bodies swarming inside.

Her team was closest to the entrance
, so it was Pam’s scream at the sight of the guns drawn that brought the beginning of chaos.

“SWAT!
Stand with your hands visible!
Now
!”

A gun was pointed at her and she quickly came to her feet and held her hands
up. It seemed like an endless flow of SWAT members swarmed into the office. She looked at Brian. His face was totally white, but he was standing with his hands behind his head. An officer was patting him down!

Oh my God…
Brian?

Another officer was patting down Abdullah while someone else had Marcus face down on his desk and
was putting handcuffs on him!  As Hayden looked around, she saw that every man was being searched and the women were asked to open their purses.

“Ma’am, I need to see inside your purse!”

A tall man was pointing his gun just over her head, but she knew that he would aim it at her and have her shot in the split second where she could do anything foolish. Hayden nodded quickly and still showing one hand she opened her drawer and retrieved her purse slowly.  Another man dumped the contents on her desk, and then searched every single crevice and opened every single container; including her hand lotion which was dumped on the floor.

Mr. Fox was standing by his office with a scared, shocked look on his face.
He too had gone white and two uniformed officers were talking to him in low tones.  Someone began shouting, and then there were suddenly several officers on the floor along with a big man who seemed to be having a seizure. Wires were protruding from his body connected to something held in another officer’s hand.

He had been tazed.
He was red faced and struggling while the cuffs were placed on him and he was brought up to a standing position.  Hayden was shaking as they began to escort the handcuffed individuals from the building. Nine employees of Fox Vinyl and Map Ads were piled into a waiting van, and included in that count were two women.

She was looking at Brian who seemed shocked that he wasn’t included in the people escorted out.
He just kept looking around in disbelief and then Mr. Fox hurried to him and grabbed him in a hug.

“It wasn’t you, son.
It wasn’t about you…” came the older man’s muffled sobs.

Brian comforted his father, rubbing his shoulders and saying, “It’s okay now Dad.
It’s over, okay? We’re okay…”

The men in the parking lot!
Those were cops that had been watching Fox Vinyl! If she’d seen them then Brian and Mr. Fox had probably spotted them as well.  However, where she had concluded that the men were drug dealers, the two of them knew it for what it really was; surveillance. Only they must have thought it was to take down Brian even though the case was closed.  Yet, hadn’t she heard somewhere that Federal cases never really closed?

Pam’s soft sobs caught her attention.
The older woman was stooped on the floor picking up her personal items from where they had been dumped by the police. Hayden moved around her desk and helped Pam pick up her things even though Hayden’s own items were still scattered all over her desk and the floor too.

“Are you okay, Pam?
They didn’t hurt you, did they?”

She shook her h
ead and sniffed back her tears.  “Just pissed me off. Having a gun pointed at me…”

Hayden nodded in agreement.

“Listen everyone,” Mr. Fox had his hands up trying to get his employees’ attention. “I want everybody to go home. We’ll be open for business tomorrow. I just want you to know that I’m sorry for… this mess!” He sounded disgusted.

Hayden gathered her things quickly.
She wanted nothing more than to get home or just away from all of this…

“Hayden!”

Brian hurried across the aisle to her. He just grabbed her shoulders, a smile on his face.

“It wasn’t about me!”
He pulled her into his arms. His heart was beating hard and his arms around her body almost made her weak. “I thought it was about me…” he mumbled.

After a moment she slid from his grasp, untangling herself from his hold.
She smiled slightly at him, nodding her head. “No, it wasn’t you, Brian.”

Mr. Fox was suddenly there and he put his hand on his son’s shoulder.
The relief in his face confirmed her thoughts about what the two of them had been thinking.

“
I better go,” she said as she turned to leave.

“But Hayden, I thought-”

“We’ll talk tomorrow.”  She glanced at Mr. Fox and then she walked out the door.

“What’s you
r friend’s name? The one that you’ve been trying to get me to meet?”

Dani’s eyes moved to Hayden’
s and then she lowered the donut that was headed for her open mouth.

“Sean!”

“Is he still single?”

“Yes!
Do you want to meet him?”

Hayden nodded and when Dani did the happy dance in her seat
, Hayden couldn’t help the laughter that bubbled up and out of her.  Dani was a good friend who cared about her. Why hadn’t she allowed the possibility that Dani might just have been able to help her get through the heartache after her breakup with MyKell?

Hayden
continued to nod her head. “Yes, I would like to meet Sean. Tell me some more about him.”

Dani sang his praise.
Tall, dark, extremely handsome, had a good job, his own home and on and on and on…

“Come
over this weekend. We’ll have a barbecue Saturday and I’ll introduce you two.”

“Okay,
I will.”

“Uh…
Hayden.”

“What?”

“It’s time to go shopping for some more clothes.”

Hayden looked down at herself.
She had lost a lot more weight… Well, wasn’t that the reason she worked out six days a week? However, her routine was now so ingrained into her that she no longer thought about the reason, only making sure it got done.

She exhausted herself by working a second job, which had paid off all but her largest credit card.
Her home was spotless; she never had time to mess it up. Her mind was finally at peace and she didn’t have to fight with herself any longer when she read her daily affirmations.

“Yeah,” she said in surprise.  It was September.
She counted the months since that day in April when she had looked at her calendar and had made the decision to throw away an entire year of her life. Five months down already…

~***~

When Hayden arrived at her second job carrying meatloaf sandwiches, she was surprised to see that the office was nearly empty. Even with the nine people that had been carted away yesterday, there should have still been more employees present. However, right now, she counted only seven people – including Brian, Pam, Abdullah and herself.

She didn’t bother going to the canteen because she could see Brian
was busy on a call. He wasn’t sitting at his desk either, but was on the other side of the room. What was up with that? Not that she needed to constantly look up just to see him watching her… or vice versa.

She went over to where he was sitting and placed his dinner on his desk.
He looked at her and raised his hand in silent apology. His eyes darted around the room and she got the message;
too busy to stop for dinner.

Before she could even sit down
, Mr. Fox came over to her. “May I talk to you, Hayden?”

“Oh.
Sure, sir.” Uh oh. Did she mess something up?

When she was in his office he had her sit in the plastic chair while he sat down behind his desk.
He looked very tired and not very happy.

“Hayden
, I just want to thank you for coming in today. We had several people call off and some even quit.” He drummed his fingers along his desk in a way that Brian did when he was tense.

“I heard from the police this morning.
Yesterday was about a drug sting. Marcus Miller and several others have been arrested for either possessing controlled substances or for the distribution of them. After the arrests, we’re very short-staffed. I don’t know how we’re going to close the current campaigns, let alone get to the upcoming ones.” He was quiet for a moment and Hayden felt for him, but at least he wasn’t mad at her about anything, so she relaxed a little.

“I was wondering if there is anyway that you can work extra hours?
I know you have a full time job, but I need my experienced sales team to push out the orders. I’m willing to pay you a salary plus commission if you would consider increasing your hours.”

He considered her one of his experienced sellers?
She felt a sense of pride and accomplishment at his words, but regardless, how was she going to put in more hours when she already worked 12 hours a day? Even worse was how could she turn down the money he was talking about?

“I’m going to open the office on the weekends.
If you would do eight more hours it would be helpful. If not… I do understand.”

She could manage giving up some hours on her weekends.
“What time would you want me here?”

His eyes looked hopeful.
“Whatever shift you want, or you wouldn’t have to follow a shift. Just come in and work your eight hours, split any way you want, but email me when you come in and let me know when you leave, so that I can keep track of your hours. And if you do that Hayden, I’ll pay you a salary for all of your hours and you would still collect your full commissions.” Thirty percent commissions plus being salaried was astounding!

Hayden nodded.
“I can do that.”

He looked relieved.
“I’ll get you your own key before the end of the week.” He discussed his plans to hire more people and asked her if she would help train a new team. Evidently Abdullah and Pam would also be training new teams as well.

“I would be honored to do that Mr. Fox.”

He apologized and then told her that she would be working the remainder of a different phonebook. When she returned to her seat, she realized that not one of the people from the team whose phonebook she was working on now was present. She looked over their board and then in disbelief realized the number of re-runs yet to be called.  Hayden smiled in genuine pleasure.  Oh she was about to make hella money!