The Silver Lining (9 page)

She shrugged as if I were asking her what she wanted for dinner. Is this even happening right now?

“How much money are we talking about, mother?”

“It’s not important. The numbers are hear-say anyways.”

My mouth gaped open as I started to massage the back of my neck. I cleared my throat.

“I’ve been locked up for the past year. I’m good. I’m clean. It wouldn’t make sense.”

“This little issue was from a few years ago. I fudged some paperwork. It looks like you did my accounting.” She lifted her chin to me.

“For fuck’s sake.” I pushed my hands into my pants pockets. “I’m not taking this fall.”

“First of all, watch your mouth. Second, you’ve already been in there. You know the system. You know how it works.”

“Go to hell, Victoria.”

“James, I am still your mother.”

“Act like it then and take responsibility.” I paused. “Give me the keys to my apartment and car.”

“My dresser. Left top drawer,” she responded.

I stormed through the house to get to her room. I pulled open her drawer and there they were. My keys laid there. A piece of me still left. I picked them up and shoved them in my pocket.

I stormed out and headed for the door. She was standing there blocking me from exiting.

“If I take responsibility they are going to send me away for a long time.”

“I’ll send you a postcard. Now move,” I demanded.

She looked at me and stepped to the side. “A million dollars is yours, if you take the wrap. That means full admittance.”

I stopped mid-step and chuckled. I put my hand up to my mouth and stared at her.

“A mother is supposed to protect their child, not throw them to the wolves. Keep the million, you’ll need it where you’re going. See if you can buy your way out of this one.”

She put her head down and frowned. I walked out and slammed the door which left the windows rattling. I stood there for a moment to let everything sink in. This lady is truly one sick person. I knew she was selfish. I knew she had agendas, but this took the cake. Here I was trying to adjust to life outside prison and here she was trying to put me back in. This was unforgivable. I couldn’t believe my ears. She said it like it was nothing. As if I would just go along with this crazy ass plan of hers. I couldn’t even begin to understand it. If anything good came from today, it would be that I would have my old place back, my car and whatever goods that were in storage. I would get to piece it all back together like a puzzle. I shook my head as her words circled my thoughts like a hungry buzzard. She didn’t tell me about the storage, because she cared. It was a last minute effort to suck me back in. It was a sad attempt to keep me. I looked back to the house one last time, kissed my middle finger and tossed it up in the air.

I pulled my keys out of my pocket and headed down the driveway, leaving the devil to stew in her own mess. I hoped she would turn into ashes and blow back to the underworld where she was probably born. There was no way that on god’s beautiful green earth that somebody could be that mean, but she was. This was my own flesh and blood selling me out, so she could have the freedom to keep dipping her greedy little hands in big pots of money. Damn it. I’m blazing mad. I’m lit up like the forth of fucking July. I’m flushing her out and I hope she chokes on all those lies she created.

I pulled out my iPod, popped in my earbuds and pressed play. I cranked the volume all the way up on a song I had never heard before and then hit the street and started running, I was out of breath and soaked in sweat by the time I reached the bus stop. My chest burned and my eyes were watery from the wind, when I climbed on board and took a seat. This bus was headed toward the direction of the storage lot where my lost goodies were hidden. I was ready to pick up the shattered pieces of my life. It was time to settle back in and get acquainted with the old James, the happier James. This old part of me just wouldn’t have the same friends, girlfriend or mother and it didn’t bother me one bit today.

The sounds of knocking woke me from a deep sleep. I thought I was dreaming for a second. l squinted my eyes hard, trying to focus. I couldn’t see shit in this dark room, just a blurry mess of I’m so damn tired, why is this happening right now. That’s all I could see at the moment or at least how I felt. The knocking became louder.

“Shit,” I mumbled, as I rolled over and leaned myself up on one elbow, rubbed my eyes and looked at the clock beside my bed. It was midnight. I groaned. This would have to happen on my first night off in a while. Jesus, this better be an emergency or tonight I’m cracking someone’s skull. I scrambled out of bed, pissed off. This week at work had been busy. I had worked double shifts in the past two nights and I was thoroughly exhausted.

By the time I reached the door, I was livid. Who the hell would come here unannounced in the middle of the night banging on my door like the police? It’s only been seven days since I moved back in. Mike is the only other one who knows I’m living here again and he knows better. Bang. Bang. Bang. Is this person trying to wake up the whole neighborhood? I looked through the peep hole to see Emily. Emily? Oh shit. I adjusted my pajama pants and ran my hand through my hair in an attempt to fix my bed head. My heart started to race as I flung open the door. She stood there looking sexy as hell. She took in a deep breath and bit her bottom lip. Her eyes widened as she took me in.

“You’re shirtless?”

“It’s midnight,” I replied. “You should be glad I have pants on,” I smirked while rubbing my eyes.

“I’m sorry I woke you. This was stupid. I didn’t even realize how late it was.”

I yawned, stepped outside and looked around. I guess I wanted to see if anyone was with her.

“How did you know where to find me? Inquiring minds would like to know.”

“I went to your mother’s and she wasn’t very helpful, so then I went to your work looking for you, and your very sweet boss, Mike, told me you were off. I told him I had a surprise to give you and it couldn’t wait for tomorrow. He gave me your address.”

“Just like that? What if you were a crazy stalker?”

“He asked me if I was Emily, which tells me you talk about me at work. Interesting to know, Mr. King.”

I grinned, but didn’t answer. I’ve mentioned her a few times this week to Mike. I refused to admit it to her though, so I stayed quiet on the matter.

“So, where is this present you speak of? It has to be pretty amazing to bring it over at midnight.”

“Are you going to invite me in or do I have to beg?”

I imagined her begging and I couldn’t help but smile bigger. A woman begging for her sexual needs was sexy as hell, but that’s not why she came here or was it? Mind out of the gutter. I cocked my eyebrow up, slid to the side and waved my hand. We both walked in as I closed and locked the door behind us. I turned and stared at her. She was glancing around the place, taking it in. Her eyes drifted back to me.

“Nice Condo,” she said. Her brown hair fell across half of her face as she looked down.

“Thank you. It used to be my old place and now it’s my new place, if that makes any sense.”

She nodded. “Mike told me all about it. Must be exciting.”

Damn. How much did Mike tell her? I watched her eyes bounce around the room from object to object.

“How are you?” I asked. I was concerned. I had thought about Emily a lot. I worried about her. She was dealing with her mother’s death and that type of pain hurt more than anything. Losing my father crushed me for a long time. A death like that leaves scars. Deep scars. I didn’t have a phone number to reach her. No way to contact her. I drove by her place a few times to see if she had returned and no sign. She shook her head at me and threw her hands up.

“I’m breathing still, so I guess I’m okay. Some days better than others.”

“Well, you look…really good.” She did too. I couldn’t take my eyes off of her.

She looked at me with hooded eyes. “And you look really good.” She paused. “I like your tattoos. They’re pretty hot.” She licked her lips.

This was unlike her, but I liked it. Fuck. If she keeps looking at me like that, I’ll take her on this couch, on that chair, on that counter and over there on the floor. Hell, I’ll do her up against the fridge.
Mind out of the gutter,
I reminded myself.

“It’s pretty unfair how you just wake up and look like that.” She waved her hand out in front of her. “Muscles and tats and bedhead. It’s enough to make a girl do something she normally wouldn’t.”

Oh shit. What is she saying? Is she saying what I think she is? I smirked and cleared my throat.

“So…this present, what is it?” I hoped it was her. I prayed it was her. I begged it was her.

She moved forward and rushed me which caused me to stumble back hitting the door. Her lips crashed onto mine. I grabbed her waist and pulled her into me. Three…Two...One. Yup. There it is. Immediate hard on. There is something about holding a woman in your arms. I loved the feeling of gripping her waist and controlling her body. I peeled off her shirt as we kissed, moving from the door to the hallway. I think we hit every inch of that wall as we made out like two hot and heavy teenagers. We kissed our way into the bedroom where I helped strip off her pants. I lifted her up and laid her on the bed as I climbed on top of her.

Somewhere in the process panties and pants came flying off and I was inside her. The feeling was too good and if I wasn’t careful I was going to burst soon. I tried to concentrate on anything other than her, but it was beyond difficult. She was gorgeous. Her body was beautiful and the sex right now had been amazing. I really, really missed sex when I was locked up. Damn, she feels tight. I gripped one hand around her thigh and just went to work on her.

“James,” she moaned out, “You feel good.”

“You feel good too, baby,” I whispered in her ear.

She pushed me over and jumped on top and did her thing, which just made it that much harder for me to control myself.
Don’t come. Don’t come,
I repeated in my head. Women hate that shit. I gritted my teeth, but I felt it building up.

“Do you like that, chulo?” she moaned out.

“Fuck yes.” I grabbed the back of her head and pulled her down to kiss me.

She was grinding and bouncing those hips and I could feel it coming. I struggled to think about fucked up shit so I wouldn’t come. Plane crashes…Old Bananas…Blue Cheese. Shit, nothing was working. She started rocking her hips harder and harder and that’s all it took. I came and I came hard. Pussy is the most amazing thing on the planet. I’ll testify to that right now. I was squeezing her ass so tight, she probably had fingerprints on it. She didn’t stop though. She kept riding me for a few more minutes until I heard her moan out my name and her body begin to quiver. She suddenly collapsed on top of my chest. I wrapped my arms around her.

“I wish I had presents like that show up at midnight every night. Damn, girl.”

She laughed and hit my chest. She pulled her neck up and kissed me, before getting up and walking to the bathroom. I laid there and looked up at the ceiling, and suddenly a thought occurred to me. We didn’t use a condom, not that I had any on me, but still. Shit. I was so caught up in the moment. I hope she’s on the pill. Do I ask? No. If I asked it would destroy this whole moment. She’s a smart girl. She’s definitely on the pill. Suddenly the bathroom door creaked open and a very naked Emily walked back to the bed. I smiled. Just watching her body in motion made me hard again. She climbed in next to me, and we fell asleep for just a few hours. It was mid-morning when I woke again. Her naked ass was pushed up against me and I wanted to taste her again, and so I did, a few more times in quite a few positions. I’d give it to her, however she wanted as long as she’d let me keep doing it.

After hours of satisfying love making, I passed out once again. I didn’t know how much time went by, but I think I just had the best sleep in my life. Good sex always equaled good sleep. I woke up with a huge grin on my face; that was until I saw the note. Seriously who leaves a note? She comes over to my house in the middle of the night, blows my mind and leaves without saying goodbye. All I get now is this sorry ass note:

James,

Thanks for last night. I had fun.

Call me sometime,

-Emily

(310) 212-4212

Thanks for last night. I had fun.
What is that bullshit?
It sounded like we went to dinner. Was casual sex her thing? I didn’t even understand what this was. I had fun. What the fuck? Every time I thought I was getting closer to her, she pulled back. Call me sometime. Ugh! I sprung out of bed and headed off to the living room. I halted as I saw her. She hadn’t left yet. She was gathering her purse as she turned to look at me. Her breath hitched in her throat.

“What’s with this note?” I waved the paper in the air.

“What do you mean?” she replied. She rubbed her hands together.

“You know what I mean. You come over and fuck me senseless, and then you try to leave before I get up.” I read the message back to her.

“James, what do you want from me?” She frowned.

“I don’t know, Emily. With all your games I’m not sure anymore.”

“Games? I’m not playing games here.” She squinted her eyes.

“Really?” I snickered at her.

“Yes, really.” She clutched her purse closer to her side.

“Okay then answer this. Do you like me?” My face was hard.

She opened her mouth, but nothing came out. I stepped closer to her, but still maintained my distance. She looked at me, and then turned her cheek away.

“I said, do you like me? Simple question. Yes or No.” I was now standing directly in front of her.

“You know the answer, James.”

“Say it,” I demanded.

“Seriously? What does this even prove?”

I arched my eyebrow and waited for her response. She chuckled and shook her head.

“This is silly. I don’t need to do this.” She reached for the door, opening it just a crack. I quickly slammed my hand against the door and pushed it closed.

“No more running. I want you to say it,” I barked out.

She took a breath. “I like you, okay. I like you, but I can’t do this to myself. This won’t end well. It never does. You’re going to stomp all over my heart, and I am going to look back at this moment and wish I never came here. I’m going to wish last night never took place.”

It felt like someone just shot me. I shook my head in disbelief. What the hell was she talking about?

“Did I do something to you? I don’t understand where this is coming from. I’m totally lost.”

She moved around me and plopped down on the couch. She rested her elbows on her knees and looked up at me.

“Look. I don’t know what happened last night. I’m not sure what it was. I just know that I don’t have it in me. I can’t go through another heartbreak, especially not after my mom’s passing. I’m not built for it. This cookie will crumble.” She paused. “Last night was…what I needed, but it can’t happen again.”

“I’m not going to hurt you. Why are you saying these things?” I bit my lip in frustration.

“You are. You will. That is what men do to women. You tear them apart.”

“What the hell, Emily? Do you know I haven’t fucked anyone since I’ve been out of prison? Do you know how bad I wanted last night to happen with you? I am not going to hurt you.”

“That’s what my ex said before he took a pipe to the back of my head over and over again.” She appeared shocked as she blurted out the words. “I didn’t mean to say that,” she quickly added. She let her head fall and she put her hands together.

Christ! Suddenly my stomach felt sick. I put my hand up to my mouth and turned around. Somebody did this to her. Someone destroyed her trust and her faith and this is why she was the way she was, a runner. I heard movement from behind me, so I swung around. She had stood up.

“Emily.” 

“I just can’t. I can’t do it again. When I’m with you I get these feelings that scare me. Every ounce of me wants you. Every piece of me wants to be with you. My heart tells me to give you a chance, but my mind tells me I’d be stupid to, because if I let myself even attempt to latch on to those feelings and something bad happened, it would surely kill me.”