The Serenity Solution: How to Use Quiet Contemplation to Solve Life's Problems (21 page)

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This is where we have to be real with ourselves. It does not matter whether we believe these thoughts or not; what matters is that we want to move forward and not continue to add extra suffering to ourselves. So, we have to ask the next questions: “What then are other ways I can look at this situation? What other thoughts would be more helpful in getting me closer to where I want to be? What thoughts would be most helpful?”

Often, when we recognize that our fixed way of thinking is not helping us but adding to our suffering, we can let these thoughts go and start focusing in a different direction. We know we’ve let go of a fixed view and are on to a more constructive path when we feel our options opening up and there is a growing sense of peace within us.

At the point we regain our overall bearings and our direction is clearer, we then can respond more mindfully and flexibly. Though we may still be compelled to think and react the old way, we aren’t reacting mindlessly.

We are aware of what is causing the reaction and can make a conscious choice to stay the course. The fixed programming then loses much of its power over us.

To insure we step out at critical reaction times, it is a good idea we mentally rehearse anticipated problems ahead of time. With time and practice, we should see more success at staying on track and reaching desired objectives.

Kate was born with one leg noticeably longer than the other. As she went through childhood she was teased repeatedly for this attribute.

Though she suffered as a child, she felt that she had overcome these earlier experiences as an adult. She went on to win marathons, become a physiotherapist, and drive herself to high levels of achievement, becoming the best in her class. One day she found herself in deep depression and questioning the meaning of her life. “What am I doing and what is it all for?” she asked.

Kate came to me and we began working on learning how to enter

calm focus. After weeks of training and practicing separating herself from
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her thinking, she discovered that she harbored much anger about her condition, and that deep down, she did not feel good enough and needed to prove to the world that she was good enough. This fixed notion had been carried for so long that she was unaware that it was driving much of her thoughts and actions. As a result, every time something bad happened to her, she would dwell on the notion over and over again.

With this insight, we then began practicing the Evoking a Solution State exercise for several weeks. Slowly, she started noticing the anger subside, the depression lift, and that she no longer believed this negative notion to be the truth of her. Though some of the hurt is still there she understands it better and it does not have the same effect on her as before.

She said: “I just don’t waste my time on it anymore.”

We now work on exploring her desired target state and how her life will be different with this newfound knowledge. She says that today her life is much lighter and freer and she does things now not to prove anything but because she enjoys them.

For further practice at separating from fixed thoughts try the exercises at the end of this chapter. With repeated practice, you may find getting out of fixed thinking becoming easier. Likewise, to understand the separation between the observing mind and the robot-like brain that generates conditioned thoughts see the following section
Mind Versus Brain
.

Mind Versus Brain

Detaching from the brain and its automatic generation of thought is not difficult as one might imagine. Some believe that the brain and mind are one; this is the conventional view. But, others believe that the two are separate, yet they interact and influence each other. In this view, the brain is a machine—a neural receiver and transmitter—and the mind is an integrated energy and information construct. The two interact via fields permeating the brain. In this way, changes in brain function can affect changes in consciousness and vice versa.

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The notion that brain and mind are separate but interrelated phe-

nomena starts with the observation that no evidence exists to show that mind or consciousness (or memories for that matter) are located at any specific place in the brain. No where can we say that certain thoughts or conscious experiences are produced by the same brain areas. For instance, we will not always get the image of your aunt Mildred every time we stimulate the same cortical spot in your brain.

In fact, it appears that mind or consciousness is associated with several (sometimes remote) areas of the brain working together. That is, during a reported conscious experience several brain areas are active as displayed on imaging devices showing a correlation between brain activity and electromagnetic fields. This has led some researchers to conclude that mind or consciousness is a field phenomenon—either associated with the electromagnetic fields permeating the brain or deeper quantum field processes, or both.

More specifically, mind or consciousness is associated with the information stored in these fields. Fields, like all things in nature, are comprised of waves; and as we saw in the last chapter, waves carry information.

Waves carry information as differences in wavelength or frequency. For example, as mentioned, color information (i.e. blue, red, green, yellow, etc.) is stored as different light frequencies and internet data is carried in cyberspace as different electromagnetic frequencies.

Accordingly, it may be that the mind is associated with the integrated information in these fields. Information integrates in fields when waves
resonate
with the same frequency. When waves resonate, they ‘tune into’

each other, so to speak, much like tuning forks. When this occurs, they then share information. We saw this in the last chapter; that is, when two waves interact, they create a third more complex wave that contains information about the first and second waves. Think of how we get a station on the radio. We dial our receiver so that it tunes into the same frequency being broadcast by the station.

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In the case of the brain, as several areas are active, there exist electromagnetic fields accompanying this activity. When these fields are resonat-ing at the same frequency they act as one coherent field and integrate their information. This integration is accompanied by a unified conscious experience: “I am sitting here, looking at this orange and purple sunset, smelling the pine, feeling the gentle breeze, and feeling a sense of peace.”

As integrated information, mind may be stored in electromagnetic and quantum fields. After all, all fields have their roots in the quantum field.

At the quantum level, this integrated information that is mind would then be entangled with all other information stored in the universe. In short, our individual minds could be entangled with the one universal mind.

Because of its dual entanglement, the mind could quite possibly communicate with both the brain and the universe-at-large. This connection would likely be mediated by field effects. In the case of the brain, the field of consciousness would communicate with the brain via electro-chemical (neural) impulses, resulting in the brain influencing the mind through physical changes and the mind influencing the brain through electromag-nectic and/or quantum changes

Awareness would then fluctuate, depending on the degree of com-

munication the mind has with the brain. When the mind resonates fully with the input coming from the brain (i.e. the brain’s sensory and automatic processes), the mind operates within a narrow range of awareness.

It receives only local information and gets fused with the brain’s illusion.

In contrast, when the mind ignores the thought machine and focuses calmly in the stillness, it increases its awareness of its universal connection.

At this stage, the mind gains access to nonlocal information and more original thoughts. Here, mind acts as a universal field phenomenon.

The
false self
is the mind identified with the brain and what the local senses bring it. The
true self
is the mind aware of its larger, nonlocal connection. The false self is in the foreground. It is usually the one we identify with the most because the input supporting it is often the loudest, clearest,
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and most concrete. On the other hand, the true self lies in the background.

It is pure awareness that is connected to the enduring information of the universe. But, typically, it is little accessed because the input that supports it is often subtle and vague. But, when we observe from this larger awareness, we are always most wise, at peace, and in the flow. Things happen.

In his book, ‘Doors of Perception,’ the philosopher Aldous Huxley

put it aptly:
“ … the brain does not produce mind, it reduces mind … each of
us is potentially ‘Mind at Large.’ But in so far as we are animals, our business at
all cost is to survive. To make biological survival possible, Mind at Large has to
be funneled through the reducing valve of the brain and nervous system. What
comes out the other end is a measly trickle of the kind of consciousness which will
help us stay alive on the surface of this particular planet … ”

Huxley saw consciousness as a fundamental property of the universe that when filtered through the brain produced individual consciousness.

We can choose which side of the funnel we want to operate on. Sometimes, we need to pay attention to the external world; and an example of this would be when we are driving. But, at other times, we need to pay attention to things outside the brain (and its concrete senses), especially when we require a look at our larger life. In this case, we need to shift from a narrow, external focus to a broader, internal one where we can tune into our nonlocal connection and gather intuitive wisdom.

Likewise, when we need to step out of our conditioned thoughts, a

good analogy to keep in mind is to view our thoughts as computer soft-ware programming and our observing presence as the keyboard operator.

Who is running the show? Is it the program? Or is it the operator? If we allow our conditioned thoughts to kick on all the time without our conscious input, it is like having a computer program run without the operator. Nothing new happens. Therefore, in order to adapt to changing conditions, we need to stay in command as the observing operator and update the program accordingly; otherwise, we are not the ones in charge, the program is.

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The brain like a computer is good at processing information and out-putting it in the form of actions. But, the best actions come when we, the observing presence (the operator), integrate the information gathered by the brain and direct the show. When we are directing the show, then the brain is a useful tool. It becomes a problem when we are asleep at the wheel and let it run the show.

Exercise 11.1: Broadening Inner Space

This is a simple exercise for beginning to train your mind to see its separation from thoughts and to see it as a larger awareness with which thinking occurs as a subset. That is, thinking is only one aspect of our total awareness.

Start by relaxing into calm focus and then observe your thinking. As you observe, you may notice an inner dialogue. At certain moments, this dialogue quiets down or pauses. Notice the silence at these times. Be aware of the mental space that holds this silence. Then, notice where in the mental space the thoughts emerge. Be aware now of you as the awareness observing both the mental space and the thoughts within this space. Observe the thoughts in the foreground as you acknowledge yourself as the awareness in the background.

As you practice this exercise you will gradually learn to separate you from your thoughts and be able to observe them when you need to at critical times.

Exercise 11.2: Identifying and Defusing Auto Reactions

In this exercise, we are going to practice stepping into the observer mode as soon as we notice a negative state. Here, we will observe the auto thoughts generating this state and begin learning to separate ourselves from them.

Think about a situation troubling you lately. You might pick a situation that you suspect might reoccur in the future; this way you can plan
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for the possible event. Regardless, pick a situation that is not too difficult so that you may practice the steps involved without getting overwhelmed.

In an earlier example we mentioned paying the bills as an example.

Start the sequence of events like you did in the Evoking a Solution State exercise earlier. Observe these events unfold. As you observe also attend to your emotional and physical reactions.

As soon as you become aware of any reactions, tell yourself: “Stop!”

Then, imagine a big red stop sign in your mind’s eye. Take one or two deep breaths and slow down and really pay attention to these reactions.

Ask yourself: “Am I aware of standing back and observing right now? Or am caught up in my thoughts, losing myself in this situation?” Notice how this questioning begins to separate you from the situation.

Now, from this detached perspective, describe the tension or emo-

tion to yourself. How would you label it? Where did you begin to feel it first? Next, look beneath the reaction to the thoughts accompanying the reaction. There is always internal commentary and interpretations being made. So observe fully. Sometimes, these thoughts move quickly and we may have trouble pinpointing them.

Pay special attention to thoughts that reoccur or seem familiar—like they’ve been there before. These are conditioned thoughts—the brain’s auto-programming. Don’t get caught-up in these thoughts. Stay above them and simply observe them.

As you pay attention to these thoughts, see which ones might be triggering the reaction. Identify the link between the thoughts and the reaction. You might, for example, observe anxiety and see what you’re saying to yourself as you experience this anxiety. Ask yourself: “What am I thinking or focusing on right now? Could I be looking at this situation in a limited way and creating suffering for myself? Are my thoughts trying to understand the situation or really adding to my discontent? What are these thoughts saying that is causing me to feel anxious?”