The Serenity Solution: How to Use Quiet Contemplation to Solve Life's Problems (12 page)

chest like ocean waves. Note the difference in sensation as

air moves in versus when it moves out. See if you can settle

your focus enough to tune in on subtle sensations you didn’t

notice before. Observe for 2-5 minutes.

11. Open your eyes and return your focus back to the room.

Exercise 5.2: Imagery Immersing

In this exercise, we learn how to use imaginary sensory details to create an internal deepening experience. We’ll start with the visual sense, and then add the other senses, until we create a total immersion in an internal image. This exercise will prepare us for the next exercise which is designed to evoke a resourceful state.

Enter into a calm focus again and recall or imagine as much as possible the sensory experience of the following:

1.
Sight:
Picture a happy scene from your memory. Look

around in the scene and note the layout of objects and

people in the scene. Describe the scene to yourself. Note its

distinctive shapes, colors, and characteristics.

2.
Sound:
Note the sounds in the scene. Listen to the activity in the scene and to any words being said. Note the direction

of sounds. Try to hear these sounds in your head.

3.
Taste/Smell:
Pay attention also to any smells or tastes in the scene. You might note the distinctive smell of plants,

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the surrounding air, perfumes, or the aroma and/or taste of

foods.

4.
Kinesthetic:
Move around in the scene and get a feel of your body in motion. Pay special attention to your reactions to

the scene. Note any feelings such as joy, excitement, peace,

or relaxation as well as sensations within your body. Describe

these feelings and sensations to yourself.

5.
Intensify the experience:
Note some aspect of the scene that makes you feel especially good and add details to this aspect

until it becomes even more vivid. Sit quietly in this scene

immersing yourself in all of its sensory details for about 5

minutes, or as long as you think appropriate, and then open

your eyes and return to the room.

Exercise 5.3: Evoking a Solution State

In this exercise, we learn how to transform a problem into a solution state through the use of concentrated immersion. To do this, we identify the problem to be corrected, the state we’d rather have, and the actions needed to create the transformation. Then, we mentally rehearse these actions in order to insure that they are automatically triggered when we need them in the real setting.

To start, state the problem situation you want changed. Write a brief description of the situation in the section below. First, describe the context. Where are you? When? With whom? Next, narrate the situation as a series of unfolding events (i.e. think of frames in a story board or comic strip). Starting with the events just before the trouble begins, unfold the scene until you reach the point of difficulty; this is the place where you first notice the problem arise and performance decline. It is at this point that we will take corrective action.

Concentrating Awareness (Up-Close Immersed Mode) 75

If you don’t know where this sticking point occurs, close your eyes for a moment and imagine the problem situation from start to finish but from a detached perspective. Do not go into the scene. Stand back and observe what you do in the situation from a distance. Monitor your actions as a dispassionate observer. At what point are you managing? Now, at what point do you start noticing a change? What are the actions that follow?

Write these actions down in the section below.

Example: I am at work during a typical work day. My boss asks to see me in his office. I start to become apprehensive and my heart starts racing.

Next, I enter his office and he begins to talk loud. At this point, I am so self-conscious that I can’t really respond to his questions; and so he gets angrier at me.

Next, state exactly what you want the situation to be changed to at this point. Include what and how it will be changed and exactly what you will be thinking, feeling, saying, and doing different in the situation. Be specific about these actions. The more detail you include at this point the easier it will be to see how to use these actions in your imagination and the more likely they will manifest in the real setting. Be especially sure to include how positive you will feel in this new state.

Example: At this point, I take a deep breath, release tension, and tell myself: “Stop! “I’ve got this. I’m calm and in control.” Then I slowly address each of his questions and assert my needs by requesting that he speak to me in a normal tone and just hear me out. I feel confident.

Situation Narrative:

Solution Outcome:

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Next go to a quiet place free from distractions and get comfortable.

Close your eyes and enter into calm focus. Recall that a calm focus enables us to sustain images in mind longer; and by doing so, we can work with these images more effectively and create a greater impact. (See the focus control and imagery immersion exercises earlier.)

Once in calm focus, pay attention to your emotion and tension level and make sure you are relaxed throughout your body. If you notice any tension, imagine it releasing like steam off a kettle or loosening like tight rubber bands.

As you proceed through the following exercise, keep a watch on your tension and concentration levels; and if you should notice a change in either, simply release the tension, return to a calm state of mind, and focus back on the mental scene and continue on.

Now, imagine the first scene of the situation. Immerse yourself in the setting. Notice the surrounding detail. Incorporate several imaginary senses and make it vivid. See the sights and hear the sounds. Include the major features and players in the scene.

Next, imagine you are in your body in the scene. Be aware of the feel of your body and remember to monitor your tension level. Play out the scene until you get to the point of difficulty, the place where you experience a decline in your performance.

At this point, use the actions you described in your solution narrative.

Go through the trouble spot using these actions. Make the scene turn out exactly as you want it. See it transform as if it were happening in the moment. Include the look and sounds and especially the feel of it. For instance, feel the movement of your body as you move smoothly and easily through the trouble spot. Pay attention to each action as you do it and feel it being deeply imprinted in your mind and body. Add enough detail so that you actually start to feel the sensation in your body.

Concentrating Awareness (Up-Close Immersed Mode) 77

Example: You might see, hear, and feel yourself converse with your boss as you breathe calmly, release tension, talk yourself down, and speak slowly and easily.

Also imagine the emotional state you want. Pay attention to the words you say to yourself: “I am calm and in control” and really try to capture the feeling of confidence and being in control. Focus on the physical sensation of this confident feeling. What does it feel like? Describe it to yourself. Is it empowering? Soothing? Exhilarating?

By adding these details, your simulated performance starts to approximate the actual performance and the more real it feels to your body; therefore, the greater the imprinting.

Always make sure to end the performance on a positive note and with a full expression of the desired outcome. When you reach this point, savor the confident feeling to send the signal to your inner mind and body that this is the state you want.

Capture an image from the scene that best represents this solution state; this will be your trigger to produce this state anytime you need it.

For example, a representative image of assertiveness would be standing tall with chin held high. Hold the image in mind each time you complete a solution sequence. After several repetitions, this image should become paired with the solution state and useful alone as a cue to trigger the state when you need it.

Also, add a positive affirmation or general statement to reinforce the solution state. State the affirmation in the present tense. Be clear and concise. You may, for example, say: “I am calm and confident in this and all situations.” As you say this affirmation, concentrate intently on your trigger image and confident feeling and nothing else.

Next, start at the beginning and replay the scene. Do this 3-4 times in order to reinforce the effect. Recall that repeating mental performance leads to a close approximation to actual performance. Mental rehearsal produces small gradual changes that prepare us for success ahead of time.

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By practicing performance ahead of time, we have it when we need it in the real setting. Remember the more time you repeat this exercise, the faster you will produce your desired outcome.

For best results, repeat this exercise 2-3 times a day for 10-15 minutes at a time. You may also repeat this exercise (along with your affirmation) throughout the day, whenever you have idle time.

Don’t become disappointed if you have trouble doing this exercise or seeing results at first. Just as with any skill, it takes time to master. With practice, you should begin to see results happening in as little as in a few days or weeks.

Exercise 5.4: Evoking a Healthy State

In this exercise we evoke a healthy physical state. Return to the site that drew your attention in the body awareness exercise earlier and perform the following:

Start by imagining white light cascading down around you and pen-

etrating every cell and tissue of your body. See it concentrate in the affected area illuminating it brightly. Feel the healing warmth of this highly-charged energy.

Next, imagine this white light neutralizing any infection, shrinking swollen tissues like a deflating balloon. See cells reorganize, connections being rebuilt, and tissues weaving themselves back together. Imagine the area turn from a dark, rough texture to a light, smooth texture, and into a strong, pliant, and healthy state.

If you have trouble imagining this healing transformation recall a time when you felt at your best and this area was healthy. Focus on your body (especially the affected area) and how it felt at this time (or how you want it to feel) and describe it to yourself. How does it feel to be well? Include as much detail as possible. For example, see yourself getting around and
Concentrating Awareness (Up-Close Immersed Mode) 79

feel your body moving freely, coursing with energy and vitality, and being strong.

Also include the emotions of having achieved this healing transformation. Imagine yourself smiling and absorb yourself in the feeling of happiness at being well. (Remember to always end each healing session with the full expression of the healthy state.)

To help reinforce the state, use a verbal affirmation with the imagery.

For example, you may say: “My heart is now healthy and well.” Or, you can use a variant of the affirmation used by the French healer, Emile Coue, the father of autosuggestion, who had much success with patients using affirmations: “My body is healing within. Each day, in every way, I am becoming healthier and healthier.” As you say these affirmations, concentrate intently on the image of perfect health and nothing else.

Afterwards, repeat the healing process and affirmation 3-4 times to reinforce the effect. Then, come back and do the procedure two to three times a day for ten to fifteen minutes per session (or anytime you have a few moments to spare). Focus on this regularly for about two-three weeks and you should begin to see some improvement.

A Two-Phase

Problem Solving

Strategy

six

Overview

“As irrigators lead water where they want, as archers make

their arrows straight, as carpenters carve wood, the wise shape
their minds.”
—Buddha

In previous chapters, we have discussed that a problem tends to arise and persist because of an improper view of it. More exactly we may say a problem persists because we can’t see how to get from our current view of it to a desired view. In this chapter, we explore at length how we move from a current view of a problem to a desired target view using cycles of broad-narrow focusing outlined in the previous section.

We call this homing in on the target view Solution Targeting. Con-

sider our camera zoom lens analogy again. Just as zooming out and in repeatedly with a camera lens can help us locate a target feature in an overall scene, so too mentally zooming out and in on a problem can help us locate a target solution. That is, when we can see the overall context of
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a situation, we know better where to focus our efforts to get free from it.

This zooming out and in process is illustrated below:

Zoom Out to

Update Overall

Situation

Zoom In on

Zoom Out Again

Next, More

to Update

Refined Step

Zoom In

to Land

on Target

Illustration 6.1: The Solution Targeting Process

As shown, homing in on a target is not done all at once but in cycles or steps. Steps are easier to attain than a solution all at once. Over time, they can lead to big change. Consider how we landed a rocket on the moon. Though the rocket was launched thousands of miles from its target, it eventually landed on target by making tiny corrective maneuvers along the way.

We can make such corrective maneuvers. For example, in our earlier work-conflict example, we may have expected to be fully confident when talking to our boss after our initial mental practice. However, most likely, we will only experience a small change in our behavior, such as a small release in tension as we talk to our boss. For this reason, we are patient and work to refine our actions over time until we reach our target.