The Read And Weep Bundle: Anonymous, Perfectly Hopeless, Run (11 page)

Her beauty.

That’s all he could think about as he watched her lock up her house and bound down the stairs to his car. And she actually looked happy to see him. Most people were ready to tell him off about something he did.

She wore a tight fitting camisole tucked into skinny jeans that showed off her body in all the right ways. When she tried to be casual she proved she could take it to a whole other level than most girls.

“Hi,” she said putting her seatbelt on. She smelled like fruity body spray.

“Hey,” he said back. “I figure we can grab a pizza on our way to my apartment.” He hoped that was okay he didn’t think about giving her options.

“Just fine by me. As long as you don’t like anchovies.” She leaned closer and inhaled. “You smell amazing.”

He touched her hair. “So do you, whatever you’re wearing makes me want to take a bite out of you.” They both laughed.

“Maybe if you use your tongue,” she smiled coyly and looked straight ahead.

He gripped the steering wheel even tighter. “Was that an invitation?”

“I don’t know, what do you think?” She eyed him.

“I think you’re giving me a hard on and that’s not the kind of tip the pizza place is looking for.”

She grinned happily going along for the short drive to his apartment complex. She hadn’t realized how close to her own house he lived.

“How long have you lived here?” she asked watching a little black cat walk lazily across the empty basketball court.

“A few months,” Hart said he lead the way up the long path to the doors of his apartment complex pizza in hand. He used his key to get through the door. Sometimes the place felt like a prison the way they kept outsiders out. He was sure one day soon he would lock himself out altogether. “I used to live across town until the last visit to rehab. Landlord didn’t like waiting on rent while I was off dealing with my issues.”

She followed him up the stairs, and took in the desolate hallways. She wondered what gold number was his resting place. And what exactly was behind the door of his apartment.

“This is me,” he said thumbing the third door on the left. “Lucky sixty-six.”

She smiled when he lets her go first. He dropped his keys on the table scattered with magazines and newspapers not to mention a pile of mail that looked like it hadn’t been opened.

“Like I said the place is a disaster,” he tells her lifting a pair of his jeans from the couch. “Feel free to tell me I’m a mess.”

But she said no such thing just took a seat. She studied the bare walls in front of her trying to think of something nice to say about his lack of caring. “Nice television.”

He dropped down beside her. “It was a gift from Jesse for completing rehab.” He leaned over the arm of his couch to a rather extensive collection of blu rays. “What kind of movies you in to?”

She made an adorable humming noise as she tried to decide. “Rom coms are always the best.”

Hart dropped his head back looking at the ceiling. “Shit, I only have porn. I thought you told me once you were a big time porn stasher.”

She laughed and he raised an eyebrow. He didn’t think what he said was that funny. “What?”

She shook her head and started looking at his collection, her hair brushed against his arms giving him chills. “I do not stash porn. I’ve never even watched porn.”

He looked at her and shook his head. “Unbelievable.” He handed over a movie and she could feel her knees start to shake at the thought of watching porn with Hart. But to her relief it was one of her favourite movies of all time.

“Pretty in pink,” she murmured. “I can’t believe you own this.”

He took it from her and popped it in the Blu-ray player. “Are you kidding? It’s like one of the best flicks of all times and I’m not afraid to admit it.”

She settled in beside him more engrossed in the idea that Hart had a soft side that he wasn’t afraid to admit to than the movie. And now all she wanted to do was kiss him again. He tugged her to him throwing an arm around her and leaned in. But instead of planting a kiss on her he snapped off the light behind her head. “Should we eat?” He searched her eyes for a response but she simply stared him down. And he went for it before the previews even ended.

He kissed her deeply, and pressed his body between her legs. His hands went from her waist to her thighs, and he roughly pulled her to him. He pulled down a bit of her shirt and planted a kiss on her soft skin.

She ran her fingers through his hair looking into his gorgeous blue eyes. “You’re so good looking it’s insane.”

His eyebrows came together. “Is that what you see when you look at me?” He didn’t want to be just good looking to her. “That would bother me if that’s all that you saw.”

She brushed his hair off his forehead. “You’re more than just a cute face.” They kissed again, the feel of her lips against his neck was addictive and he wanted more.

He brought her down on his couch and pulled his shirt over his head staring down at her. He helped her out of her shirt and watched her expression to make sure she hadn’t changed her mind.

The way he kissed her blurred the world around her and sucked her into a dizzying spiral. He was intense and fully committed to pleasing every part of her body. She couldn’t think if she wanted to she could only let out glorious sighs of pleasure and moans against his ear which excited him even more. He grinded against her.

He brought her hands high above her head and pressed them into the couch and kissed her again.

As soon as he released her hands she rubbed the front of his jeans enjoying the feel of him against her hand. His fingers toyed with the straps of her lacy white bra, he tugged her free and slowly planted kisses down to her breast. And her fingers tightened around his ears with every kiss.

She leaned back enjoying the feel of his hands as they glided all over her body and the way his fingers dug into her flesh and hit every indent of her ribcage.

She whimpered, and begged him not to stop, she liked the way his hands controlled her and made her feel small and delicate beneath his touch. He licked her navel sending chills through her entire body.

She threw her head against his throw pillows and winced in pain. Hart stopped what he was doing and watched reluctantly as she pulled the empty bottle of vodka from underneath the pillow.

“What is this?”

He rubbed the back of his neck sitting up. Shit.

There were a lot of things she expected out of him but the bottle was not one of them. “I can’t believe you’re drinking.” She sat the bottle down on the coffee table and sighed. She couldn’t believe how everything went from pure bliss to disappointment just like that.

He tossed her shirt to her and stood up. “I can take you home.”

“I don’t want to go home. I want to talk about this. I thought you were okay.” She watched him pace in front of the television trying to ignore her like he did everything else in his life.

“It’s just a bottle of vodka.” He tried to reason, he knew that was bullshit. That bottle that sat there between him and her was what made him different than most of the world.

“It’s not just a bottle of vodka. It’s you coming undone all over again. Do you really want to go back to rehab?” She couldn’t imagine what that visit would make. Maybe lucky number six, she wasn’t sure.

“Don’t ask me that. Of course I don’t want to be there. A stupid bottle of vodka isn’t going to take me there believe me.”

“That’s the thing, I don’t believe you. I don’t know enough about you to know whether or not you’re lying to me right now,” she said, she begged him to be honest and tell her what was going on and if there was anything she could do to change things for him.

“I always screw things up. And it’s already happening, let me take you home.” He couldn’t believe he was about to sleep with her. The way she was looked at him, he could tell she was disappointed. He already was ruining her life—it might have been a record.

“The only thing you’re screwing up is you, Hart. Let me go with you to a meeting or something.” She stood up and tried to touch him but he wouldn’t let her. He backed away with his hands up.

“You were going to sleep with me. Maybe
your
priorities are screwed up too.” He looked away before he had to see the look in her eyes. “Maybe we’re creating one huge mess for the both of us.”

She shook her head she refused to believe it. “You help me. And I think I do the same for you. Don’t be stubborn and run away from me. Let me help you. Maybe our happiness is when we’re together. I’ve never smiled more than I do when I’m with you.” She stepped closer, taking her time so he wouldn’t push her away again. “I like how you make me feel. I like spending time with you.”

She managed to wrap her arms around his neck. “You deserve to be happy too.”

He tried to pull away, but she forced him to look her in the eyes. “Admit you want to be happy. And then you can take me home if that’s what you want to do.”

He flexed his jaw. “That’s not possible and I’m okay with that.”

“Why?”

“Because I can’t have what I want,” he said. “Because I will destroy it just like everything else in my life. Why do you think Jesse is the only one who still talks to me?”

She rolled her eyes. “Because that’s the way you want things to be. There are plenty of people who want to be a part of your life. You’re just too stubborn to let them.”

He took her by the chin and kissed her. “Everyone always ends up disappointed in the end. How can you promise that you won’t be?”

She caught her breath. “Because you’re worth the disappointment, you make me feel that incredible.” She was a stupid girl, she knew that’s what the universe was screaming at her but she let him push her up against the wall anyways. He moved her hair from her shoulders and his lips crashed against her neck. She undid his belt buckle and he pushed against her showing her that he still wanted her. She palmed his erection teasing him as he moved his hips against her.

She was out of her jeans before he could wrap his brain around what happened and he traced his fingers across the front of her underwear. They bumped into the wall again.

“Do you want this?” He asked. She nodded. “I want you.”

She bit at his neck as he tried to argue against what they were about to do trying to tell himself he wasn’t worthy. “What if you realize this is nothing but a mistake?”

She kissed his jawline and used her tongue right by his ear driving him mad. “You’ll never be a mistake. You’ll only be a good memory I promise.”

“I just want to make you feel good,” he said, sliding his fingers against her.

“You do all the time.” She pressed her lips against his forehead. “Make me feel even better.”

He smiled just a little. He liked what he heard. He moved a hand between her legs. And when he tried to remove her underwear she stopped him. She was in too much of a hurry to waste any time taking them off. He pulls them aside and his fingers went back and forth, up and down until they slid easily against her. She was so wet.

She whispered in his ear telling him how good he was making her feel. How bad she wanted him and only him. Things he always wanted to hear but was too afraid to until that moment. And he believed her.

She didn’t understand what she was doing for him. This wasn’t simple sex to him. This was him doing something he hadn’t done in a very long time. He was opening up to the possibility of being destroyed by another person.

She stroked his chest, she was in his arms and she couldn’t be happier with that decision. Hart was incredible with his hands, she could imagine what else he could do with other parts of his body. But he was only willing to please her. He gave her a huge orgasm and left it at that.

She was sure it was hard for him just like it was for her to do different things in life anymore. She squeezed his arm bringing him from his own thoughts. “This is nice.”

He agreed with a nod, he was at ease, relaxed, his mind wasn’t racing for once. “It is.”

He went quiet so she changed the subject. “I’ve been thinking about Stephy a lot more. And I’m starting to remember things about that night.”

He stroked her hair. “Good. What do you remember?”

She shrugged. “Nothing major, but it’s a start.” Like the memory of people in the street. She tried for days to push her memory further but it was stalled. “Tell me about rehab.”

“You know all about rehab,” he said. “Which time?”

“Before I showed up, tell me about that time.”

He closed his eyes. He didn’t like going back to that day. “I partied for three days straight and almost overdosed.” He’d done a lot of stupid things before but that night something stuck out. And like Elle he wasn’t able to put all the pieces together. Knowing that he almost died wasn’t as satisfying as he once thought it would be. It scared him. And that was when he knew there was something wrong with him. He wasn’t weak he had a problem—a major one.

“You got lucky,” she said.

“Yeah. And the weird part is I don’t know who to thank. One minute I was drinking the next I’m waking up in the hospital tearing tubes out of my body.” Those people were long gone; he didn’t even know their names. He met a girl and ditched his friends so he could keep drinking.

“I’m grateful for whoever saved you. If it weren’t for them I wouldn’t be here with you right now.” She kissed his cheek.