The Purple Heart (7 page)

My last statement made him smile. That
was a very good sign. I left to get his water and an aspirin. When
I returned he was sitting up on the bed waiting for me. My mind
started wandering because he looked hot as hell in his present
location. I tried to avert my eyes so as not to appear to be
leering at him, but it was impossible.

“
Okay, take this and a sip
of water.” He held out his hand and I dropped the pill into
it.

“
Thanks.”

“
All right. I think you
should lie down and take it easy. Do you want something to help you
sleep?”

“
No, I don’t want to take
anything that’ll knock me out. What if you needed me during the
night?”

So this man just had some
sort of episode and he was thinking about my wellbeing?

“
That’s very sweet. Okay.
I’m going to head to bed, too. Can I have a rain check for that
outside fire?”

“
Absolutely.” I laid him
down and tucked him in. I turned to leave, and he grabbed a hold of
my hand.

“
Sydney, please stay with
me, at least for a little while. Until I fall to sleep. I don’t
really want to be alone right now. Is that asking too much of
you?”

“
No, of course not. I’ll
stay as long as you want me to.”

“
Would you stay the night?”
he said it so quietly, I could barely hear him.

Now normally I would have been nervous,
or jumping up and down like an idiot. But right now all I wanted to
do was hold him, and comfort him as much as he needed. I slid in
beside him with a smile and a little bit of fluttering in my
stomach. He lifted up the covers to invite me closer to him. I did
so without hesitation and curled up next to him, nuzzling my face
into his chest. He wrapped his arms around me.

The feel of his skin against mine was
starting to make me want to rub myself all over him. My body
definitely had other things in mind than just lying beside him, but
I was also just as content to feel his body against
mine.

His body was cool, so I snuggled in
even closer to keep him warm. Where my body touched his, it hummed
and then warmed. I couldn’t sleep. I hated sleeping in my clothes
and I was fully dressed at the moment. I also wanted to make sure
he was going to be all right. Not to mention, of course, being
beside him was still making my heart palpitate.

It wasn’t long before he was out. He
slept like the dead. He didn’t move an inch. I’m not sure how long
I was awake watching him sleep but eventually I drifted off to
dreamland.

It had been at least a few hours into
the night when I felt the bed shake me awake. He was probably
having a nightmare. I tried to wake him, but he only became silent
again at my touch and the sound of my voice when I whispered his
name. I thought this would be a good time to put something more
comfortable on and hit the bathroom. While I was away, I heard him
cry out. I didn’t hear him say anything definitive because
everything sounded muffled through the door. I hurried back to his
side and climbed back into bed with him, and he immediately quieted
again. I curled myself around him, and we spent the rest of the
night without any further events.

I let Aiden sleep in, sneaking out of
bed before the sun had risen. I watched him for a moment before I
left, and realized how quickly I was becoming attached to him. I
needed to talk to Cheryl again and wanted to use her as a sounding
board. She’d be painfully blunt, and let me know exactly how to
slow things down. I put on coffee, and figured I would wait until
it was a reasonable time to call.

I decided to check out my newly
renovated Zen in the back yard. The terrace stone was frigid on my
bare feet as I stepped outside. The days were getting colder
lately. I knew it was only a matter of time before winter would be
approaching. I disliked winter greatly and had often entertained
the idea of moving somewhere that always hovered around seventy to
seventy-five degrees. That was my ideal temperature.

The morning was extremely quiet. Not a
single bird made a sound. I could actually hear the creek babbling
in the distance, somehow amplified by the stillness of everything
else. It was so peaceful. I almost thought about waking Aiden so he
could share this time with me, but I knew he needed the rest. So I
dismissed the idea.

I decided to grab my coffee and a
blanket to spend some time by myself, rummaging through all the
various conundrums in my head. I plopped myself into my papasan,
swaddled, clinging to my cup of joe for warmth, and watched the
sunrise. It had been awhile since I had actually appreciated the
beauty of it.
Why hadn’t I spend more of my time enjoying the
simple pleasures of life?
I was always so preoccupied with work
or what bills needed to be paid. It seemed like such a waste of
time right now. I should have been taking advantage of all the
beauty around me. Aiden was the reason for my change of thought and
heart. He made everything seem so much more vivid and real. A
simple smile or a gentle touch, things I hadn’t been paying
attention to recently because they didn’t exist and were not the
things I had been searching for, were all that I craved.
Why was
he suddenly changing my priorities and viewpoints in my life, and
in such a short time?

The sun slowly brought a rosy glow to
my Zen, but no warmth came with it. I thought of Aiden, cozy in
bed, only seconds away from me, and wondered if heading back to
snuggle with him was my best option.
Would he remember his
nightmare from the middle of the night? Would things be awkward
between us?
Nothing had happened, not that I didn’t think about
rolling over to start something a few times throughout night. It
was too soon.

This was not the relationship I thought
I had wanted. I wanted the courting; the emails and texts, getting
ready for a date and having him pick me up at the door. This was
not a possibility when you were living with someone you wanted to
be in the beginning of a relationship with. The start of a
relationship was one of the best parts. I loved the first kiss and
butterflies in your stomach at seeing that other person. I had the
first one with Aiden. The second was not as easy due to our
location proximity. I still had fleeting moments of them,
though.

Then there was the first intimate
encounter, the first time making love to each other. I wanted that
to be because Aiden and I felt deeply for each other, not because
we were hanging out on the couch and things progressed too hot and
heavy with no one heading home for the night. It was too easy to
let that happen between us. I needed to get to know him better and
to think rationally about what was happening here. I knew nothing
about him. He could be using me. He could actually feel what I was
feeling. I wasn’t sure, and I hated feeling wishy-washy and unsure.
It was so easy to do right now. My head said one thing, my heart
another, and my hormones were doing their own thing, too. All three
fought with each other.

I needed my sounding board now, no
matter how much she was going to rip into me about it. I wanted it
and needed a dose of reality to set myself straight. I knew it was
still early, but Gina was an early riser, so maybe I might catch
them both awake.

I listened to the first two rings,
considered hanging up to wait for a more decent hour to call, and
then someone answered.

“
Hello?” It was Gina,
sounding like she had been up for hours already. She was already
chipper.

“
Hey, Gina. Sorry if I’m
calling too early.”

“
Good morning, Sweetie.
Don’t worry about it. I’ve been up for awhile. Cheryl is in the
shower right now, so you didn’t wake either of us up. How are
things going with Sergeant Hot Stuff?”

“
Oh, Gina, it’s amazing. I
mean really, it’s been so intense. It’s all so confusing. I don’t
even know if this is real or not.”

“
Of course it’s real.
That’s what it was like with Cheryl and me. I knew it the minute I
saw her that she and I were meant to be forever.”

“
I feel something like
that, too. Did you have any doubts that first weekend you spent
with her? Were you scared?”

“
I wasn’t scared of her, if
that’s what you mean. Are you afraid of him hurting
you?”

“
No, nothing like that.
It’s just I reacted when I met him. I didn’t even realize what I
had done when I invited him to stay with me. I just blurted it out.
I haven’t thought any of this through.”

“
Are you having regrets?
It’s been what, two days?”

“
Yeah, something like that.
It’s all just blurring together, like he’s always been here. It’s
strange. It’s happening way too fast. Maybe.”

“
Maybe
he’s your
soul mate or you knew each other in a past life. You know I believe
that we’ve all met each other in our past lives. It’s why you feel
familiarity with certain people. They were someone important to
your last existence. I’m sure you and I were friends or possibly
related in a previous life. It explains déjà vu quite nicely,
too.”

Gina was a strong believer in
reincarnation. We had talked about it a few times during drunken
nights, when Cheryl had surpassed her limit of drinks and passed
out. Gina was a mystical soul, stating with no reservations and
complete confidence, that she and Cheryl had loved each other
through
many
previous lives. She equated the ease of their
relationship with already knowing who Cheryl was, and just
returning to what had already existed, but had been on hold when
one lifetime ended until the next had begun. She believed they
would find each other no matter what the circumstances, should a
new existence begin. She said it was why it didn’t matter if they
were opposite sexes or the same.
Were Aiden and I past life
lovers?
I had dabbled in the thought of reincarnation before,
always hoping to find out if there was more to come after this life
ended.

“
Yes, you were my mother
and Cher was my father,” I teased.

“
Probably. That’s why she’s
so protective of you.” Gina had taken my joke quite
seriously.

“
Thanks for liking my new
boyfriend, Mom.” I guess in my head, Aiden and I were already in a
committed relationship. I sounded pathetic to myself and couldn’t
believe I was entertaining thoughts us being in a relationship. I
had no idea if he felt the same way I was.

“
Boyfriend. I’m so happy to
hear you say that.” I guess Gina had no problem with my defining
Aiden’s role.

“
But, Gina, it’s all
happening so fast.”

“
Just sit back, go with the
flow and enjoy the ride, Syd. It could end tomorrow, a year from
now, or never. So enjoy every little bit of it. No one knows what
life has in store for him or her, so why waste it worrying about it
instead of living it? Am I right?”

“
You’re so damned
down-to-earth and logical. I need to just let things happen. I over
think things all the time. That’s my biggest downfall.”

“
I’m glad to hear you say
it out loud. Now I want to see you actually do it. I’m so happy for
you. I can’t wait to meet him.”

“
I’m afraid. Not of you,
you’re a doll. I’m afraid of introducing him to Cheryl. She’s
already upset about him living with me. She’ll scare him
away.”

“
No, she won’t. Don’t be
silly.” Gina giggled. “Her bark is worse than her bite. You know
that. As soon as she meets him, and sees how happy you are, she’ll
be on board with this whole thing. Just wait, you’ll
see.”

I heard the phone jumble around, and
then it was Cheryl on the other end. Cheryl would put everything
into perspective for me. She would give me the pros and cons
unbiasedly. I’d have plenty of food-for-thought and I could stop
fighting with myself in my head.

“
I told you not to
encourage her, G. Sydney, are you okay? Is everything all
right?”

“
Everything is fine. My
things are all where I left them, except for some leaves and
weeds.”

“
Okay, good. Well, I’m not
on the approval-bandwagon yet. I think you need to slow things way
down.” There was Cheryl’s bluntness coming through. It was only a
matter of time before she opened up and
really
let me know
how she felt.

“
But I’m happy. I mean,
this guy, he’s different. I just feel so much for him already. It’s
been such a short time but we’re already so connected. It’s just
happening all on its own.” I knew I didn’t need to get her
approval, but I did want her to accept him.

“
It’s been two days,
Sydney, and not even full days yet. That’s insane. What are you
going to do when he’s done with you?” Cheryl was asserting her big
sister or motherly side. It didn’t matter; it was all the same to
me. I had asked for her opinion by calling, so I needed to be ready
to hear what she had to say and accept it or not.

“
It’s not like that. He
feels the same way I do.” I pouted.

“
And how is that exactly,
Sydney?”

“
We both feel very strongly
for each other.”

“
And he told you
that?”