The Purple Heart (6 page)

“
He’s a great kisser and a
complete gentleman. But let’s not get Cheryl all fired up again,
shall we?” But it wasn’t Cheryl I was worried about. All sorts of
scenarios were now running through my head about Aiden.

We spent the rest of lunch just plain
bullshitting, which was our normal mode of conversation. After we
had finished, I gave them both a hug and peck on the cheek, so I
could head back home as fast as I could … home to Aiden. The
butterflies were already starting. But were they good butterflies
or bad ones? I really had no idea anymore. The realization of what
I had actually done by inviting him to stay with me was hitting
home thanks to Cheryl. I loved her for opening my eyes to
everything I would not normally think about. This, however, was
something I should have considered carefully first.

I’d have to learn to think before I
blurted various things out to him. He had a way of making our
conversations just flow so easily.

My drive home was not as pleasant as my
drive out. Why did Cheryl always have to be so leery about
everyone? Instead of being excited about getting back to Aiden, now
I was apprehensive. I was not happy about that feeling at
all.

When I pulled into the driveway, I was
amazed at how much he had gotten done. My yard was raked, my rose
bushes trimmed for the winter, and generally, everything was pruned
and preened. My garage door was open and I could tell it had been
straightened out. Wow, he really did wield a mean broom. The floor
was spotless and the shelves completely organized.

All my concerns during the drive home
seemed to suddenly disappear. He wasn’t
up to no good
while
I was gone, he was working his ass off.

I shut the door and headed inside to
find him. He was in my kitchen with a handful of dishes, cleaning
up from lunch.

“
Hey,” I sort of purred at
him.

“
Good afternoon, Sydney.
Did you have a nice time?”

“
Yes, we always have a very
good time when we’re together.”

I needed to do something to make myself
feel better about the conversation I had over lunch. I needed to
touch him. So I walked right up to him, grabbed his face and kissed
him. He seemed slightly surprised, but didn’t pull away.

“
All I could think about
was getting home to do that. Is that wrong? Am I going insane?” He
smiled, reached out to wrap his arms around me, and pulled me into
him. He buried his face into my shoulder and hair. The scent of him
was intoxicating for someone who had just spent the last few hours
probably sweating. He smelled sweet. I felt comfortable in his arms
and didn’t want to let him go.

“
If it’s insane, then I’ll
be in the padded room right next door to yours. I’m relieved to
hear you’re feeling the same way. I thought I was losing it. I was
afraid I might scare you off or intimidate you.”

If he only knew it was Cheryl who was
scaring me. I almost felt guilty thinking so wrongly about him. How
could I do that? I was so easily swayed and felt like I had somehow
betrayed him. I put my head down because I couldn’t bear to look
him in the eyes.

He took a step back from me and
caressed my cheek and pulled my face up to meet his
gaze.

“
Is everything all right?”
His blue eyes burned into mine, and I found myself getting lost in
them, as usual. It seemed like all that existed was he and I at
that moment. I wasn’t even aware of the room we were standing in
anymore. It was almost like we were in a time warp of some kind or
a bubble.

“
Everything is just fine. I
was thinking about something my friend said.”

“
Well, you certainly didn’t
look very happy. Was it bad news?”

“
Nothing like that. It’s
all good. I see you were very busy while I was gone. You did so
much,” I said, trying to change the subject.

His face lit up as he took my hand and
led me out to the backyard to show me his handiwork and all he had
accomplished back there as well.

“
I tried to make sure to
keep your Zen back here, if not increase it. You obviously had some
already. I know I like a space to feel warm and inviting no matter
where it is. I noticed some old candles, lanterns and wind chimes
in the garage, and I thought they’d work back here. I bet you spend
a lot of time hanging outside when it’s nice. This is how I would
want it. I hope I didn’t overstep my bounds. I can put it all back
the way you had it if I did.”

The entire terrace had been rearranged.
My papasan chair and its dark blue cushion were now a focal point,
instead of being off to the side. He had arranged the furniture
around my outdoor fireplace, which I had actually never used, but I
could see it was all ready for its first fire. The chiminea was now
filled with candles instead. The lanterns and candles resided
everywhere. He had even cleaned out the small water feature pond I
had, and the small waterfall was working again. Everything was
trimmed and tidy. The yard looked amazing. The breeze that was
blowing made my wind chimes ring softly. It was all very soothing.
It had been my original plan to utilize these things to de-stress
before I went to bed at night, but I had never had the time nor
energy to do it properly. He had completely achieved what was in my
head, which was feng shui.

“
I just saw all these
things you obviously had plans to do something with, and I felt bad
they weren’t being used. I wanted you to have everything just
right. Did I get it right?”

“
Hell yes. It’s perfect. I
mean it, too. I love it. You really did too much and I can’t thank
you enough.”

“
I’m really the grateful
one. You’re a very sweet person. It wasn’t really that big of a
deal. The yard was in good shape and it didn’t really take me much
time at all.”

“
But you did my garage and
out front, too. Really, you did so much. I can’t get over it. Do
you wield a magic wand, too? You have mad skills at
landscaping.”

Aiden genuinely smiled. I was glad I
made him happy. He had spent the entire afternoon working like a
dog on my yard and he didn’t have to. I did feel a bit more
comfortable knowing he had been busy all day. I almost felt guilty
for thinking badly about him for even a second today.

“
I felt like I knew what
you would like. It was so easy. It just fell together, honestly. I
went with my gut feeling. It’s weird. I feel like I’ve known you
for longer than a day.”

“
I know, right? I feel so
connected to you. Like we’re on the exact same plane.”

“
Yeah, something like that.
Absolutely.”

This was all so out of character for
me. But maybe this was what falling in love was supposed to be
like. I had no idea, as I had never actually fallen for someone
like this before. And the best part was that it seemed to be
mutual. I suddenly realized I had thought about falling in love
with him. Maybe Gina had been right after all.

“
Would you like to try it
out tonight when the sun goes down? I’d like to make sure I got the
lighting perfect. Maybe we could even have a fire in the
chiminea.”

“
I’d love that. I’m out
here almost every night during the summer. I love to read back
here. It’s so peaceful.”

“
Peaceful. That’s a
wonderful thing to feel. That’s what I was going for. It’s a very
hard thing to achieve, you know. Especially in the world we live in
these days. Everyone is so absorbed in their own little life, they
don’t see the big picture.”

“
What do you think the big
picture is?”

“
I think it’s not on this
earth. I think whatever exists after this life is what really
matters. But maybe that’s because of everything I’ve been through.
It all seems so ridiculous to worry about what kind of car you
drive or what meeting you have coming up. Inevitably, we all end up
in the same place, right? One that’s completely different than this
life we’re living now.”

“
That’s very profound. I
guess you might be right. I don’t know. Not sure what I believe in
these days. I guess it’s everything I’ve experienced.

We continued our conversation, while
enjoying my newly spruced up terrace. Time flew by, and before we
knew it, we were inside cooking dinner again. Everything was so
easy between us. It was all so natural. It was all so
strange.

After a nice dinner and a quick cleanup
of dishes, we retired to my cushy couches to watch a movie. I
thought a war-based movie would be a good one for us to watch
together, so we could analyze if it was realistic or not. And it
might make him open up to me about what he had gone through during
his tour.

We cuddled up close, our glasses of
wine in hand, and started to watch. He put his arm around my
shoulder and I snuggled into his side. I was safe and comfortable
and felt as though we had been with each other for
years.

Within the first twenty minutes of the
movie, we watched as the first soldier died. Aiden’s body
immediately began to shudder. He seemed almost like he was in some
kind of trance. He went catatonic.
Holy crap, I should’ve known
better than to bring his memories back to war and death.
It was
completely out of line for me and I was certainly not thinking like
an experienced psychologist.

“
Aiden, are you okay?
Aiden, can you hear me?” I jumped up, and tried to shake him out of
it.

He had no reply. Instead he just stared
right past me as though I was not in the room with him. His eyes
squinted and then his face took on a look of terror. The corner of
his mouth started to twitch. If I didn’t know better, I would have
thought he was about to have some sort of a seizure. But in a few
moments, I realized that he seemed to be reliving the moments when
he had been wounded. I saw him mouth the words ‘Oh shit, no’ and
then his body bucked and flailed four times like he was being shot.
I watched him in horror.

I started to panic and grabbed his
shoulders and tried to steady him. His eyes rolled into the back of
his head and he went completely limp. This was bad, very bad. I
considered calling for an ambulance, but I was afraid to leave his
side. The phone seemed so far away.

“
Oh my God, Aiden. Snap out
of it. You are okay. Can you hear me? Just open your eyes. I’m
right here in front of you. I won’t let anything happened to you.
You’re safe now. You’re with me now. I’m right here. Can you feel
me? I just need you to try and shake this off.”

Cheryl’s words echoed in my head. I
started to doubt myself, and this whole situation.
What had I
gotten myself into? What had I done to him?

I put my hands on either side of his
face. His skin felt cold and clammy. Soon his eyes began to move
underneath his lids. He took in a deep gasp of breath like he
hadn’t been breathing at all for the entire episode. Then he opened
his eyes. I felt a wave of relief wash over me.

“
Aiden? Please tell me
you’re okay. Please talk to me. Just say something so I know you’re
all right.”

“
Sydney, I’m so sorry. I
didn’t want you to ever see that.” He seemed to have his wits about
him now.

“
That’s happened to you
before?”

“
I have … um, nightmares, I
guess you could call them. They’re very similar to what just
happened, except you weren’t there when I snapped out of it.” He
touched my cheek and ran a fingertip down until his hand was over
my heart. He left it there, as if he was feeling every single beat.
Of course my heart completely complied by beating faster and harder
at his touch. My entire body reacted to his touch. It seemed to be
reviving him. With each thump of my heart, the color returned to
his face.

“
Listen, you still look
really pale. You’re shaking. Do you want a glass of water? Do you
want to maybe go lay down?”

“
Will you come with
me?

I had to stop and think this over
carefully. What exactly was he asking of me? I didn’t want him to
be alone. If that type of event happened again, I wanted to be by
his side to make sure he was fine. That was not something I wanted
him to ever experience alone again.

Being by his side would also make me
not want to leave him for the rest of the night. I had already
decided I wasn’t going to let anything happen between us this
evening. I was putting myself at risk because knew I wouldn’t be
able to hold back if things progressed sexually between us again. I
couldn’t even believe I was thinking about him sexually right now.
My mind was already made up because I blurted out my
answer.

“
Of course.”
Damn, I was
my own worst enemy.
I helped him to his feet and up the stairs.
His episode downstairs seemed to have totally drained the life from
him. He was weak and still very pallid. I brought him to his room
and helped him over to his bed.

“
Listen, you overdid it
today. First working in the yard all day. And then I was a complete
idiot to pick that movie. That’s all. I’m going to get you a glass
of water and an aspirin, and give you a minute to get changed. Then
I want you in that bed, Mister.”