The Nothing (20 page)

“Better than him at what
kind of shit?”

“You know, surviving, handling a crisis and
all sorts of ill shit. Ain’t nothin' to do here because the federal government had a fucking brain fart.” James sat up quickly, got to his feet and began pacing around. He was very frustrated. Bentley knew how James gets when he feels he has lost control. He just didn’t want James to feel like he was going to put him down or treat him like a child.

“Ok James, relax.
Listen, I don’t know if you know the extent of what is going on outside. But I think you should leave with me. We’ll go get mom and you guys can come with us to my place with Mary.”

“No Man!
We should go to my place. Why the fuck do we have to go to your place? Because it is bigger? You have more guns? I think Mom’s house is better.”

“
Yes James, I do have more guns, more room and more food. Who knows how long this whiteout will last. Hey, I will be giving you a gun as well. This is for real and we are going have to trust each other.” James sat watching the empty monitors. Bentley was hoping that by telling James that he would give him a gun, that he would jump and say lets go.

“You can be honest Bentley.
You know I can’t handle a gun. You are lying to me. By the way, whiteout is a good term for this mess. You should trademark that crap.” Bentley always liked James’ witty remarks.
I guess this is now called a whiteout!
“Believe me James, I don’t want you to have a gun. But your wrong, it is not because you can’t handle one. It’s because it is an admittance that we are in a war and that things have changed for the worse. I hope this is a temporary thing and that all of the signals will come back soon. But right now, I am not bullshitting or hesitating. I need you by my side.”

“Ok,
but are we going anywhere else? You have a car? “

“Yeah my squad car is across the street in the Guinevere parking lot.
We might have to drive on the grass. But that’s no big deal. We do need to stop by fire station 77 a mile away. I think we can get there from here. Only to get a better idea of the situation. Then on the way to Mom’s, I want to stop by the Southside Command station and see what is going on.”

“Wouldn’t you have to
stay and work if we go to the police station?”

“No, I am going to have a peek from the outside and if I see another officer then ask him.
I don’t want them to pull me in. My family is most important right now.”
Yeah they would make me stay and work. But they might also know what I did and arrest me on the spot. But I doubt the courts would be operating and wouldn’t be for who knows how long. I am not ready to turn myself in. Not until my family is safe. I made the mistake; my family shouldn’t pay for it in any way.

“Al
right then, let’s move on out!” Bentley was pleased with the excitement in James’ voice. In the face of the awesome chaos outside, it is much better than fear or panic. He hoped that he would stay that way, but at reasonable levels. Both Men walked to the elevator doors. Bentley was expecting to hear James talk the hero stuff, battling bad guys and saving the day. But James was quiet and subdued.
Is he scared or actually being mature for once? I have only seen things like what I have seen today in the movies. It feels like we are in a disaster movie. I always assumed that my brother would be all gung ho and act like Rambo or something. But he is almost relaxed and being serious. He was in his station, but he had no problem getting up. Didn’t even resist leaving. At least not as much as I expected.

The door to the main lobby opened and there were now six security guards.
Two were standing by the front door and the four who had greeted Bentley were still at their posts. As James and Bentley exited the elevator, a guard that had been manning the x-ray machine approached. Before Bentley could say anything, James jumps in and sounding like an official something says, “Excuse me officer, you are to remain at your station. We are in a code 3.” Bentley reached out and put his arm in front of James and asked the security guard, “What would happen if this man was to leave with me? What would be his consequences?”

With a stone cold demeanor and still eyes, the guard said,
“Department of Justice would file charges for abandonment of post during a national security crisis.”

“But he isn’t in the m
ilitary or even a government employee.”

“Sir this facility is partially funded by federal
money so it falls under the jurisdiction of the federal government in the event of a national security crisis as per its charter. All personnel of this facility now report to the South Central Operations Command and have been ordered to stand their posts.” James knew this was coming. He knew that he couldn’t leave under a code 3. A General from the Army would be calling the shots now. Though he couldn’t see how with no communications. The specifics of what it all meant had never been explained to him, But James’ knew that if he left, there would be consequences. But Bentley was going to try to get him out anyway.

Bentley got into his authoritative mode.
“I have received word that there have been numerous personnel that have left the building. As the ranking law officer on these premises, I would like to see this list and dispense it to Police Command.” The guard maintained the stern composure, which made Bentley nervous and not sure how he was going to get James out without jeopardizing him. “Sir the list isn’t complete. We only have the names of those who reported to us their decision to leave. For others who sneaked out, unless someone reports them to us, we have no records.” A good possibility occurred to Bentley. If they don’t know James’ name, then how would they know that this man beside him was James? But then Bentley realized he had inquired about James when he first walked in and gave them his full name. Maybe they won’t remember. Hopefully.

“So do
you know who this guy is?”

“
No sir I do not. And since he is already here and intending to leave, these circumstances permit us to detain him. We need both your names.”

Bentley looke
d at James with a slightly curved grin that the guards didn’t see. But before Bentley could say anything, James stepped in front of him and spoke, “This is officer Frank Smith and I am George Stevens, the chief financial officer here. You can find my name in the registry. I choose to leave willingly and know the consequences. Officer Smith here will take me into his custody for further processing, since he is the ranking officer on site. No more action is required on your part except to log our names and actions. Thank you and have a nice day!” James was getting ready to tug at Bentley’s arm to gesture the opportunity to leave when one of the guards grabbed one of the three ring binders that he had scanned through when Bentley first walked into the building.

For fucks sake James!
What the hell are you doing?

“
Hold on one minute sir, there is a Gloria Stevens. You said George?”

“It is suppose to be George Stevens, retired Staff
Sergeant United States Marine Corps. You pukes trying to be funny? Your life expectancies just fell to ten seconds by calling me Gloria! Don’t tell me you guys are the only fuck ups they could find to run this show? I have reported the error that some retard made listing my name. Check the human resources roster and you will see. Officer Smith will remand me to federal holding downtown so make sure you put that in your report. But one thing that doing three tours in Afghanistan has taught me is how to spot a real shitstorm when it is coming. And you guys have no idea how bad this thing that’s coming is going to get. Soon there will be no lists, no paychecks, no courts, no cops; only war. So, will there be anything else gentlemen or can we be on our way?”

The security guards looked at each other.
Bentley was impressed.

Damn boy!
You got a good set of salty balls don’t ya!

“
I will document your names. But otherwise, you can go. But understand Mr. Stevens, if this shitstorm you talk of doesn’t save your ass, you will be prosecuted.”

Bentley took
a shit grinning James by the arm and started leading him away while turning back towards to the guards, “Thank you officers. Stay safe.” As soon as the two were out of the front doors they both broke into laughter and started a brisk jog across the slowly emptying street. Along the sides of the street, a few cars appeared to have broken down or run out of gas. People were milling around aimlessly as if lost and not knowing what to do next. As Bentley and James jogged across the street, a number of people yelled out to them.

“Officer can you help
me?”

“Officer there is a huge riot ahead.”

“Officer what do we do?”

What do you want me to do?
I shouldn’t even be wearing this uniform. You would agree if you knew what I did earlier. I got bigger problems. Time for all you motherfuckers to stand on your own two feet and take some responsibility. This isn’t a fucking video game!

Riding the s
torm

Martha had to ride with Jenna because
there was no way she was going to fit with Scarlett.
God that scooter all but disappeared between Scarlett’s legs when she got on it!
Martha wanted to laugh but the idea of riding home on the back of a scooter was a first and she was frightened. She had never been on one before. And these scooters weren’t the small ones that only go fifty-five miles an hour and should only be ridden on normal streets. These were high dollar ones that could go ninety on the freeway. Yet still too small for someone as big as Scarlett to have a passenger.
Plus, Martha didn’t think that the two ladies would be riding carefully, especially with all that is going on. She had given them both the directions to the Guinevere Apartments, but cautioned them to be careful in case the traffic was bad.

Both women started their scooters.
Being that they were merely scooters, Martha had expected that the engines would sound like that of a weedeater. Yet they sounded like the ones a small car would have. Scarlett let off an enthusiastic holler, “Ok bitches! Lets ride!”

Martha
didn’t know what to expect out on the streets. They were traveling into the unknown.
Oh dear there might be thieves and gangs who want to take the bikes or hurt us.
Outside sun and windy heat hit Martha in the face as the women pulled out of the parking garage to the street. Increasing speed intensified the wind, which began to feel like the vent from a heater. At the end of the street from the garage exit, cars were stopped with quite a few people standing around. Jenna yelled to Scarlett, “Hey lets take the sidewalk to Pierce and take it all the way to Main. From there we can cut through the park to Martha’s apartments.” Scarlett gave thumbs up then hit the throttle. Jenna sped up as well, which pulled Martha backwards. The cuts under her armpit were beginning to hurt from having to hold onto Jenna so tightly. It was an awkward spot to cut one’s self. Martha felt wetness on the side of her shirt.

There
were two cop cars at Peirce and Louisiana Street that were attempting to get through the traffic. Both of their sirens were blasting. Once the women had reached the intersection, they slowed down. Martha was able lean and look around Jenna. Her heart felt like it was going to jump out of her chest when she saw a large group of people fighting a ways past the cops. Mostly young people dressed similarly in what could be assumed as gang colors. Scarlett yelled back, “Gang fight up ahead. I am going to blow past. Keep up!” At that second, they both hit the gas; Martha began to panic. Both ladies sped past the large group at such a fast speed that all the people fighting were blurry to Martha. All she heard was the wind blasting her ears. As soon as they were clear, the ladies slowed their speed and turned left on Main. Then a block later, they came to the park, which provided an open path to Martha’s apartment complex. It was a nice open park with many trees and rolling man made hills, which made passing through with a car difficult. But with a scooter it was easy.

Martha
grew happier as she saw the apartments getting closer. “I see them, we are almost there!” Then, Scarlett suddenly fell off her scooter and rolled as she hit the ground at ten miles an hour. Jenna stopped her bike next to Scarlett, kicked out the kickstand, and jumped off like an astronaut immune to gravity. Her rapid escape from the scooter caused Martha to be thrown like a ragdoll to the ground. Jenna raced to Scarlett who was still lying on the ground. “Scarlett what happened? Did you hit something? Are you ok?”

“My lower back is h
urting and I feel dizzy. I think I am having spasms or something.”

“Well try to get you to your feet
and see if you can make it the rest of the way.” Scarlett rolled to her stomach to get on her hands and knees. “Wait!! You have a spot of blood on your back.”

“What?”

Martha walked over covered in grass and dirt. “Jenna she is really hurt. How hard did she wreck?”

“Too hard it
seems like. Lets help her up and walk her the rest of the way to your apartment complex. We’ll stop at that bench by your gate and come back to get the bikes.” Jenna and Martha each grabbed an arm helping Scarlett to her feet. “I think I can walk from here, I’ll use the bike as support. My scooter is fast and powerful, but it is pretty light.” But Martha was more concerned about the blood on Scarlett’s back. “Hey Scarlett, let me get a closer look at your back. I want to see how bad it is.”

“It don’t feel too bad, it could be a cut.
I can make it.” Martha ignored her and lifted the back of her blouse. Blood was slowly oozing from a small hole on the right side of her lower back. She guessed it to be a bullet hole but decided to not say anything to prevent Scarlett from panicking. Raymond had once told her about when a soldier gets shot. How a man won’t feel anything if he doesn’t know he was hit. He had seen a man charge an enemy position with a bullet hole in the side of his neck, but didn’t know it or feel it. Adrenaline kept him going the rest of the way until he bled out. She felt it was better to not incite any panic and downplayed the wound.

“Hey
Scarlett, There’s only a few small scratches. Mainly blood mixed with dirt.”

“That makes me feel better
hun. Thought I was really hurt!”

Must have been one of those gang members fighting that took a shot at us as we went by.
They probably wanted the bikes. I didn’t even hear the gunshot. Raymond did say that in the heat of battle, your senses become numb as you become focused. Have got to get her to my apartment. Hopefully my phone works.

“Its ok girls, I am going to ride it the rest of the way.
I am ok.” Scarlett quickly started her scooter and took off. Jenna shrugged and got back on her scooter as well. “Come on Martha, you just met a freak of nature, a mutant of style. A woman that’s all balls and no brain.” This time, Jenna didn’t go as fast as she had been. They were almost at the apartments.

A
s they got closer, Martha peeked around Jenna and saw a police car in the front parking lot by her gate. There was a cop and another man near the car; a sense of relief came over her. She felt safer. But then Scarlett fell from her scooter again. Luckily it was close enough to the parking lot that the cop and the other man noticed and came running. Jenna again stopped right next to Scarlett and jumped off like the last time, causing Martha to fall to the ground again with the scooter landing on top her leg. The man that was with the cop came quickly and lifted the scooter off of Martha’s leg. She slowly rolled onto her stomach and got to her hands and knees as the man asked, “Are you hurt ma’am? Don’t try to stand up. Your leg my be injured.” Her leg felt sore but not painful. “I’m ok, it seem to land on the perfect spot. No injuries I think.” Martha turned around to thank the man and froze. James stood there with a less than joyful surprised look on his face.

Gosh isn’t this just one of those coincidences that throws you for a loop.
The nice guy who wasn’t. And of all days, there he is standing right in front of me. My head wasn’t right for a whole week after meeting this scumbag. I only talked to him for a minute and was lucky to escape when I saw that he was there for that prostitute. But thinking of him bothered me so much for a while after that.

James didn’t know
what to feel. What he saw sitting in front of him was one of the many losses he has felt in his life. Martha was a missed opportunity in a long list of screw-ups.

Well here she is again.
Does God have to rub my stupidity in my face all the time? On a day like this! Does he have to make me feel like shit? This is so awkward. I want to run away. I don’t want to be around a woman who thinks I am trash. She probably thinks I am the biggest scum on earth. I almost had her and then that fucking prostitute had to yell out the door. I lost an opportunity with this woman because of a stupid choice. And I didn’t even fuck Dr. Cando. I didn’t even stay. I lost three hundred dollars for nothing. I lost this woman for nothing. I am nothing.

After
Bentley had tended to Scarlett, he walked over and introduced himself to Martha. “Hi Martha, I am Bentley Featherworth. This is my brother James. Scarlett told me who you were and that you are trying to make it to your apartment.”

“I’m so glad you are here Officer.”
Martha turned to James and held out her hand, “Nice to meet you James. Thank you for taking the scooter off of my leg.” James hesitantly held out his hand to shake Martha’s. “Nice to meet you too Martha. I’m glad you are ok.” James turned to Bentley, “Hey man we need to get going. I am not so sure about standing around out here. I don’t want to attract any more attention.” Bentley shook his head no and pointed to Scarlett who was still laying on the ground with Jenna sitting next to her. “James this woman has been shot. We have to get her to a hospital. Hopefully they’re still functioning and safe. Why don’t you go start the car and get it ready to go.” Bentley turned back to Martha and said, “It will be a tight fit if we all go. That lady Jenna said that you two could stay in your apartment and wait. I can come back to let you know what happens with Scarlett at the hospital. Unfortunately James and I have to get going after that.“

“
I understand. Jenna and I will wait. My apartment is 1509. I appreciate you taking her. I don’t know Scarlett that well but it will be nice of you to come back and let us know how she does.” James stood off to the side making small glances at Martha, but didn’t want her to have any inkling that he was thinking about her.
I hope Bentley is telling the truth. That we won’t be hanging around. Seeing this lady again makes me want to kill myself.

Bentley
nodded for James to go to the car. It was a relief to turn around, jog back to the car and get away from Martha. But as he got there, the smell of gasoline stung his nostrils. One of the curbs that they had driven over had a piece of iron rebar sticking up that ripped a small hole in the bottom of the gas tank. The tank had been three quarters full, which caused the puddle of gas underneath the car to be large. James really wanted to get out of there, but he worried that starting the car might ignite the gas puddle or that the car wouldn’t have any gas left in the tank. James looked over to Bentley and yelled, “Hey, you better come see this!”

“Aww what now?”
Bentley ran to the car annoyed and not knowing what to expect. He smelled the gas from ten fee way and stopped. “Holy shit James, is that from our car? Did we hit something?”

“Man I think we might have bottomed out going over a curb or that one big drop coming through the grass.
I am not sure if we should start it.”

“Well we have to try, that lady
Scarlett is still bleeding and beginning to feel more pain. Why don’t you stand back. I’ll start it and see what happens.”

“No Bentley, you need to let me do it.
I know you are the cop and have to sacrifice yourself and shit for others. But if anything bad happens, it’s better that you are here to help those ladies.”

Bentley’s jaw dropped.
It was a surprising gesture from James after being known for years as selfish, unmotivated and delusional. This was a James he wasn’t familiar with. James was determined to be the one to start the car. “Seriously Bentley, get away and go stand by the ladies.” James was aware of the frightening risk he was taking and scared beyond anything he had ever felt. But he figured that it would be better if Bentley was there for the women should something happen. And if the car blew up, James felt that it might be for the best anyways.

What else can I do?
The world we know is probably ending. But I don’t know for sure. Can’t see the news or know what is going on. But I am pretty sure things aren’t going to be the same anymore for the typical human being on this earth. Especially someone like me. Opportunities are going to go bye-bye and it’s too late to grab a hold of anything worthwhile. It hurt so much to see Martha again. Even though I never even knew her, she is a symbol of my failures. She was something I almost had, but was too dumb to be worthy of it. If Bentley blew himself up in this car, I would truly be alone because why would those ladies want me to protect them? In all actuality I couldn’t protect them. What the hell could I do for them? I’ll admit it. My life is full of fantasy. I ignore reality. I live in my head where I am the smartest and strongest. I don’t want to have to face reality again as I have had to so many times. They would need Bentley more. He is a police officer. He would know what to do in any bad situation that comes up. I would be in the way. I always have been. Time to except defeat.

James
quickly maneuvered himself into the driver’s seat and yelled, “Bentley get the fuck away. I love you; tell Mom I am sorry for everything. Get those ladies taken care of and go get Mom.” Bentley was frozen ten feet from the car, knowing that he couldn’t make it in time to yank James out before he started it. Bentley was going to watch his brother risk his life to spare his. But Bentley wasn’t giving up without a fight. He knew what James was thinking. It isn’t fair that at the age of thirty-eight, James is at the same place Bentley was at twenty-two. Bentley, as a brother, wants the best for James and with what is happening in the world at the moment, he wants so much for James to have a chance in life with whatever comes out of the ashes. Bentley worried that James had no hope left and wanted to die.