The Nothing (23 page)

“Yes Mother, that is me.
That is what the men in America are going to see. Mr. Cruise said he would find me a great man!” Mr. Cruise approached Kimori and said, “Madam, there are women from all across the world that have gone to America after marrying wonderful and caring men. This isn’t a joke here. We are in the business of making people happy. Now remember, this is of no cost to you or your Daughter. We will review the men who write her and want to meet her. Young Katy won’t have to meet or speak with anyone she doesn’t feel comfortable with. There is nothing to lose so why not try it!” Under a slight sob, Kimori asked, “Will she be able to come visit me? How do I know her new husband will bring me to visit for the holidays and what about my grandchildren?”

“Oh it is a
ll guaranteed because each member signs an agreement outlining everything you just said. Remember no cost, and Katy can drop out anytime if she decides this isn’t for her.” Kimori looked at Katy with a mother’s eyes. “I don’t know child. I was skeptical but you are nineteen now. I would have to hire someone to take your place at Pai Jung.”

“I need to try
Mother. And you can look at any man I pick. I won’t marry anyone unless you approve.” Unexpected, though happily received, Kimori gave Katy a hug. It had been a couple of years since she had hugged her. And it was warm and nice. “Thank you Momma.” With her mother’s support, Katy would take one day a week on Thursdays to review letters. At times, Kimori would review them with her. After a couple of months however, the excitement for Katy was wearing. Two men had interested her but they ended up choosing someone else. The prospects were drying up.

Then o
ne morning, Mr. Cruise came by the rice stand as Katy had arrived for work. “Hey Katy, is your mother around?”

“No
, she is out getting supplies. Listen, I am thinking of dropping out from the service and….” Mr. Cruise quickly interrupted her. “There is a man in my office right now as we speak. He is a preacher from America that is here in Thailand for missionary work. His name is Mr. Nick Simmons. Katy suddenly felt overwhelmed. “Is he here to see me? I thought they never show up in person? I don’t have to leave with him right now do I?”

“
The only reason he is here child is because he had written you several letters, of which you didn’t reply. He is adamant about meeting you and came here to specifically do that. Mr. Simmons came all the way here just for you. His is rich too! And he’s on TV. You can see him on TV in the internet café! He is the man I have been wanting for you! Please come meet him!” Katy felt giddy and nervous. Her stomach was riddled with butterflies. Never has she felt like this before. Dreams of life in America in a big house with a wonderful man had been fading lately, but this moment has made those dreams resurface. Kimori returned from an early supply run a few minutes after Mr. Cruise had left. Katy eagerly told her about the man who was at the agency and that he was a preacher on TV named Nick Simmons. Kimori’s eyes brightened because she knew about the man Katy was talking about. Last Sunday’s church service included a group prayer for missionaries and their leader working in the countryside. Kimori was able to put two and two together. She told several of the staff to cover for her and her daughter, and that they would return later. They immediately took off to the Thaiworld office.

***

“None of these girls are worth shit Mr. Cruise!”

“No Mr.
Simmons, look again. They are all great and specially picked for you.” Nick kept flipping through a binder with the profiles of the girls in the agency. Nick didn’t read the girl’s bio’s and questions; he was only looking at the photographs. “What I am looking for, Mr. Cruise or Chris, is a woman who gets me sauced up in my pants. Isn’t that the most important thing? You want a man to be attracted to a woman if he is going to be bringing her home as his wife, don’t you?”

“Yes Mr.
Simmons, I agree.”

“
What you have here is some ugly monsters. I have to be able to have this woman standing next to me in front of cameras and crowds without anyone puking or thinking how did I pick such a God awful looking piece of trash?” In an intimidating manner, Nick got in Mr. Cruise’s face. “Basically I am looking for a woman that I want to fuck. And she would have to be a woman that everyone else would want to fuck too when she is standing next to me. You get me?” Mr. Cruise giggled and blushed. He was quite surprised to be hearing a preacher use such language. “I have to say, that for a preacher, you are quite unorthodox, but I like you.” Nick smiled and in a disrespectful manner, sat down in Mr. Cruise’s desk chair.

Mr. Cruise was
waiting for Katy to arrive and was trying to hold Nick at the office. He was charging Nick much more than the men through the mail and internet. He wanted to get the transaction done before Nick could figure things out. Mr. Cruise was hoping that seeing one of the girls in person would help seal the deal and he could get paid quickly. Mostly, he is hoping that Katy doesn’t tell Nick that Mr. Cruise said he was here just for her. It had been a lie for the purpose of getting Katy to the office as quick as possible. Nick appeared to Mr. Cruise as quite pompous and full of himself. He was anxious to find a wife. Those types made easy targets.

The office door swung open with the ring of a small bell attached to the door handle.
Katy walked in first. When Kimori walked in after, she immediately went to Nick and grabbed his hand. “I have seen you on TV before and I am honored that you picked our country to do your great work. I want you to take my daughter.” With that, she put her hand behind Katy’s back, nudging her closer to Nick. Katy had noticed a coffee stain on the floor and decided to stare at it. The old defense mechanism still came in handy; Katy was very frightened by the hastiness of the whole meeting. She wanted everyone to take a break and let her think. Nick looked Katy up and down. “Is this one of your girls Mr. Cruise? She has a nice shape.” Nick looked at Mr. Cruise, then back to Katy and laughed, “Am I supposed to just stare at the top of her head?” Kimori slapped Katy’s shoulder. “Look at him child, don’t be disrespectful.” Nick walked around Katy as if he was sizing up a new car. “Not bad for a village girl. Could use a bath though. She smells funky. Looks pretty much like all the others. But hey, I don’t want to come out of here empty handed. With some makeup and surgery, she will eventually measure up.”

Nick
’s fast way of speaking made Katy nervous. Half of what he said, she couldn’t catch. But she otherwise smiled and tried to look happy. Plus she had never smelled a man like Nick Simmons before. A soapy smell permeated the air around him.
He is tall. Smells like soap. I wonder how much soap he uses. He is handsome though. Is his hair blond or orange? Does he do drugs? His muscles are very big. Men don’t grow muscles as big as his unless they do drugs.

Mr. Crui
se tapped Nick on the shoulder, and like a car salesman he asked, “So what do you think Mr. Simmons?” Nick put his face an inch away from Katy’s, and then cupped her chin in his hand lifting her face up towards his. “Little girl, can you cook, clean and take care of a house?” Along with a nod Katy said, “Yes sir!” The response made Nick laugh. “Oh ha-ha, yes sir…I like that!” Kimori stepped right next to Katy. “She takes care of the house and all seven of her brothers!” In the tone of a frat boy, Nick yelled, “Oh yeah I like the sound of that! I can make some money if she takes care of my brothers too!” Nick winked twice at Kimori. Suddenly, Nick’s expression turned cold. His grin disappeared. The new seriousness in his face alarmed even Mr. Cruise. Nick placed a finger on Katy’s lips and proceeded to trace from her chin down between her breasts to the area above her panty line.

“
Are you willing to do everything I ask and fuck often? I’ve got the stamina of ten men and the needs of twenty. Can you handle that?” Not understanding what the question meant yet being afraid, Katy replied, “Yes sir.” Nick stepped away and turned his back on her while facing Mr. Cruise. “I will send a car to pick her up in three days, then she will be flying home with me. Your money will be in your account tomorrow. Thanks for the business Mr. Cruise.” Then, just like a man who had paid for his groceries, Nick walked out of the office with out any acknowledgement of Katy or her mother. Not a goodbye or handshake. Mr. Cruise followed Nick to the door to see him out. Once Nick was gone, he turned around and said, “Ok, go get packed. Remember to come here in three days in the morning when we open and wait for him to pick you up.” Then, in a detached and impersonal manner, Mr. Cruise went and sat behind his desk. Without looking up, he proceeded to make a phone call. As Mr. Cruise was dialing, he glanced up at Katy, who hadn’t moved. “That will be all ladies, you may go now.” Both women looked at each other. Then they silently left the office feeling a helpless loss of control. Like they just spent too much for a new car and couldn’t back out. It was scary.

***

Neither Katy, nor her mother, said a word during the walk back to the rice shack. There was still an afternoon and evening of customers to deal with. But worry, panic, and a feeling of impending doom plagued the women. All excitement was suddenly gone, and the reality of what was going to happen in three days was setting in. Her little Katy was going away. Kimori hadn’t felt this way since her oldest son went to prison for eight years after stealing a motorcycle. The court gave him three days to turn himself in after being sentenced. Now Mr. Cruise has given Katy three days before she turns herself into the Thaiworld Marriage Service. Even though Mr. Cruise gave Kimori indications that there would be opportunities for her to see her Katy, she couldn’t help but to feel that she and Katy were making a mistake. She wanted more time with her only daughter before she is sent away. Initially, the fact the Nick was a preacher from television excited her. It was the same fever someone gets when shopping for a new car; you walk in with a set price and payment, but always walk out paying much more. Then the excitement fades and you realize that what you committed to is more than you can handle. You realize that you missed something important during that initial excitement and eagerness. Katy was feeling the same way.

Why am I sad?
Mr. Simmons was handsome, had money and a home back in the United States. I guess that I, and my mother, had expected a more meaningful introduction. Mr. Simmons walked out of the office without a good bye or a see you soon. He left as a doctor does after examining you. Three days isn’t enough. It isn’t enough to say goodbye to my brothers and my friends. It is also overwhelming to know that in three days I won’t have to do any more chores, laundry or work at the rice stand. In three days I will leave my life behind. Everything I have known will be left behind and gone forever. Yes it has been such a laborious life. But it is the only life I have known. I know I will be going to a better place. But it feels that I am leaving so much behind.

“Lets pretend you are
only going away for a few days and that we will all see you soon.” Kimori was trying to find a way to make things easier when it came time for Katy to leave. Katy had never seen her brothers cry. They were very angry that they weren’t consulted. Plus they view businesses such as Thaiworld as stealing all of the women away, leaving the men behind with nothing. One brother talked of a woman he had known since elementary school, whom he wanted to marry. He had felt that they had a connection and had spent a lot of time together. Then one day she was gone. A man from America took her away. Many women from the village and surrounding areas have been taken away to various parts of the world. America, France, England, Russia, and even Mexico.

Yet in the end, everyone agreed to preten
d Katy wasn’t leaving and to go on with their daily routines. And that is exactly what they did. Except for Katy. She had vomiting spells at the restaurant and had to leave early each of her last days. On the day of departure, Katy woke from an uneasy night of sleep at five in the morning. Four of her brothers had left for work and the remaining three were getting dressed. Kimori wasn’t in the house. Katy had figured that it would be too difficult for her mother to say good-bye and that she would avoid it, or be gone when it was time for her to leave. That hurt Katy. She really wanted to say goodbye to her mother and tell her she would write, call and come see her as often as she could. Katy had wanted to tell her mother that she would name her first daughter after her.

The remaining
brothers walked through the living room together to catch the first bus to work. Only one stopped and looked at her as they walked out the front door. The one that stopped, turned and looked at Katy for a long thirty seconds, but said nothing. Katy was grateful for the tiny acknowledgment and goodbye. If that’s what it was. After he stepped out of the door and disappeared, Katy felt an overwhelming loneliness. She didn’t want to leave. It was the last time she would see any of her family.

I don’t want to leave my Momma.
I need her still. I have always felt safe with her and my brothers. Even though she pushes me a lot, I feel safe. Everyone should be happy for me, but they are not. Their sadness of me leaving infects me. But that is that.

To block her mind from thinking too much, Katy went to the bathroom and prepare
d her makeup and hair. She had initially thought that it would be perfect if she was dolled up and looking beautiful when Mr. Simmons came to get her. But at the moment she stepped into the bathroom, looking pretty didn’t seem that important anymore. She applied her makeup anyway. It was an exhausting chore and when she was finished, Katy felt like she had worked all day cooking rice and taking out trash.