The Married Man Sex Life Primer 2011 (18 page)

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Authors: Athol Kay

BOOK: The Married Man Sex Life Primer 2011
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Even more isolated is actually being truly alone with you. A private date in a public restaurant doesn’t count as truly alone, but being in your apartment with only you would count. Being totally alone with you puts her into a vulnerable position in relation to you; should you become aggressive towards her, she probably couldn’t stop you. The female Body Agenda knows that being alone with a male may result in her sexual submission to him regardless of her consent, so she tends to avoid being alone with any male she does not want to give consent to. Males fear an aggressive male and have Approach Anxiety; females fear an aggressive male and have Isolation Anxiety. (
Do not misunderstand any of this as a positive spin on rape. Rape is beyond awful.)

 

Coming at it from a sinister viewpoint, this principle of moving to a “second location” is exactly the same thing that serial killers use to murder their victims. No one gets sadistically killed in a supermarket parking lot, but if you get carjacked there and forced to drive to a second location, very bad things can happen once you get there. You’d usually be vastly better off crashing the car into a telephone pole than arriving at the second location “safely.” The principle of moving to a second location is very clear – do
not
cooperate with going to a second location, unless you want what could happen there. Women will instinctively avoid being alone with men they don’t want sex with. The word they will use to describe the situation of being alone with a man they don’t want sex with is “creepy.”

 

Simply being alone with you is telegraphing her very probable willingness to start progressing towards something sexual happening with you. She’s not going to instantly throw off her clothes, but it’s a very good indicator of her interest in you. Also something to watch for is women running an isolation play
on you
. Sometimes it is so subtle that you can completely miss it. A simple
“Would you like to go for a walk?”
at a party is a classic. What she probably means is
“Would you like to go somewhere and talk intimately/kiss/ make out?”

 

There is an exception to this rule. She will be alone with males that have already proved to be sexual failures – by which I mean her Orbiters – men who have agreed to “Let’s just be friends.” She sees those men as safely neutered because they can’t even
talk
like they are a sexual threat, let alone actually do something. Furthermore, when you do have a woman alone with you and you fail to make a move on her, she will regard that as an acute sexual failure on your part. You may never get another opportunity with her again.
(8.8) Isolation – Leverage Her Isolation Anxiety with Surprise

 

Moving to a second location works to make alone time more exciting to her, but that can be made even more exciting by adding the element of surprise and triggering momentary Isolation Anxiety. You might have gone somewhere together to do something, but the
surprise
little side trip on the way back, where you just turn the wheel of the car and take her somewhere, is exciting. It works because it’s like a playful and safe version of her getting carjacked and taken somewhere against her will.

 

Even though your wife is with you and trusts you, she will experience a few seconds of Isolation Anxiety as you start taking her somewhere unexpected without asking. This triggers her Body Agenda to make an instant decision about either risking a physical fight with you that is likely hopeless or submitting to your intentions without resistance. Usually her Body Agenda takes the safe option and votes for submission, which frames you as dominant. Having created a dominant moment, that sparks a dopamine reaction in her and she will feel greater attraction to you and a little flush of excitement.

 

If you went to the mall to do Christmas shopping together, it’s the
unannounced
detour on the way back to the secret pastry and coffee shop that engages her with you. Of course she’ll just think it’s romantic, exciting and non-boring, but that’s just the dopamine doing its job.

 

Another way of doing this is starting at home and simply telling her to get in the car with you in ten minutes. Then just drive her to dinner out somewhere random. Don’t tell her where you are driving to; just arrive. She might complain loudly the first couple of times, but that just means she’s emotionally engaged with you.
(8.9) Isolation – Text Her

 

She can’t answer a phone call from you without broadcasting to nearby people that she is talking to you. So if you say anything cocky, funny and a little racy, she can’t respond to it and her protection shields come up. But texting is done in secret apart from the incoming text sound. Even so, most women can keep a straight face as they text back the color of their underwear and/or how much they liked your semen on their breasts the night before. So texting is a natural isolation play.
(8.10) Isolation – Keep Her Secrets

 

If you get a reputation of talking about who you have had sex with, you damage your ability to isolate. If every woman knows that having sex with you is going to be broadcast to her social group, she will likely never expose herself to sex with you unless you are of such astoundingly high sexual value that her value increases for having been chosen by you.

 

It’s fine to broadcast that you are good with women and that they go home happy and satisfied, you should just refuse to name names.
(8.11) Escalate – Touch Her

 

Someone you want to have sex with is going to be someone you touch a good deal. Obviously you aren’t going to grab her boobs in public on a first date, but you are going to escalate the level of physical touch as quickly as you can without pissing her off.

 

Start with touches on her hands and arms, just incidental as you are talking to her. Hands on her shoulders and back are usually fine after that too. Going for things like arms around her waist, hand holding and kissing usually require some sort of isolation before she is agreeable to it. The dance floor is a twilight zone where such rules are suspended and nearly anything goes.

 

Once isolated from people she knows, you can go for the more intimate moves like the hand holding and so on. Once in private you can start going for boobs and trying to get clothes off her. Framing it all as your assumption that everything is coming off eventually anyway works best. Kiss and grope and break and do a little something else and back to kiss and grope and a little gentle tug on the clothing to be removed.
“Your blouse is in the way.”

 

Generally, you are better off trying to go a little too fast than a little too slow with physical escalation. She may get a little pissed off at you, but that is better than her being bored with you. Being pissed off just means she is emotionally engaged with you, which is generally a direct line to her vagina. If she does say stop though, you do back it up a bit.

 

Physical touch is vital to seduction because just touching a woman causes her body to release oxytocin, which causes her to feel more socially bonded to you and trust you. Going straight for the sex before enough touching makes most women resist you, but a good amount of touch can make her feel warm and fuzzy about you, so that when you ask for sex she complies, or even asks for it herself.
(8.12) Escalate – Kiss Her

 

“
Why don’t we just kiss and find out how good this chemistry between us is?”

 

Kissing is one of the most potent steps in seduction. It creates gobs of intimacy, and male saliva actually contains testosterone that the woman absorbs, making her feel more sexually interested. This is why you hated kissing your aunts when you were little.

 

If you’re married, you should make the time every single day to have an extended kiss with your wife. Kissing for at least ten seconds will cause an entire neurological and hormonal cascade inside not only her, but also you, creating sexual interest and bonding to each other. It can’t be a few short pecks on the lips; I’m talking a proper kiss.
(8.13) Escalate – Always Be Closing

 

Let’s be serious here…you want to have sex with her, so you should be focused on that as an end goal. The goal is not a phone number, a date, a movie, a kiss, a marriage. The goal is her legs apart and crying out your name as you cum into her. So if that is the goal, it’s okay to state that goal as an intention to her along the way. Women cannot stand a guy that flakes on them at the last minute and can’t for whatever reason have sex with them.

 

You can proceed to that end point fairly quickly on a verbal level, touch on it and then withdraw to a safer topic or activity. That way she doesn’t really have time to put up defensive shields to ward you off because you have already withdrawn from putting pressure on her for sex. But the thought of sex with you is still on her mind.
“You look so good in those shoes. Okay I admit it, I’m interested in sex with you, but I’ve really got to concentrate on this assignment right now. So if you could just walk yourself away from me about five feet I could get some work done.”
(8.14) Escalate – Ignore Anything That Doesn’t Help You Close

 

Frequently women will make little verbal defenses along the way as to why they can’t or shouldn’t have sex with you. For the most part the best plan is to simply ignore or deflect these defenses. Frequently these are nothing more than half-hearted attempts to derail your seduction. All women have a slutty aspect to their nature and usually actively want to be seduced. By focusing on her half-hearted complaints, you can halt progress towards the bedroom.

 

The classic dating defense line is
“I have a boyfriend.”
Of course having a boyfriend is exactly the reason she is currently at the club without him at midnight, half naked, drink in one hand and grinding her ass into your crotch. So you can just ignore the boyfriend. Correct response,
“I don’t care.”

 

The key here is to pay careful attention not so much to what she is
saying,
but to what she is
doing
. If she is saying
“We really shouldn’t do this,”
but she is already topless and pulling her panties off, then you saying
“You’re right, we shouldn’t”
isn’t really what she wants to hear. Correct response,
“I don’t care.”
If, on the other hand, there is clothing going back on or she is pushing you off her, that’s a good sign of not wanting sex from you.

 

The thing to watch for is her giving a reason not to have sex, but not actually saying
“No.” “I have to get up early in the morning,”
isn’t a
“No.”
The word
“No”
is a fairly clear directive and trying to proceed to sex after a
“No”
isn’t good at all. Just don’t do it.

 

Wives can pull out all sorts of last minute nonsense on husbands as well. It’s late, I am tired, the children are awake, I have a headache, it’s a Tuesday, the birds are flying south for the winter and on and on and on. Wives are a little different from a date in this area in that they are always around you and simply being in the same bed with you isn’t an automatic signal indicating interest in sex. Often a wife giving a reason not to have sex is in fact saying a clear
“No.”
She just doesn’t want to feel like she had to say no to you, so she says she is tired or headachy instead. All that really means is that she doesn’t want sex with you tonight. The long term solution is to increase your Sex Rank rather than winning an individual night’s sex.
(8.15) Escalate – Plan the Logistics of the Seduction

 

If you’re going on a date and want sex with her, having no practical plan as to where you can have sex and how you will get there will always end up with you masturbating. If the idea is you meet at a club and then go back to your place, you need to have a plan as to how you will be transported back home. If you rode to the club on the train and the last train out is at 11:05pm, you are out of luck if you can’t get her on the train with you at 11:05pm. You can call for a cab or something, but then you need to make sure you have cash on you for the cab. If you’re down to $10 in your pocket, then you are out of luck as well.

 

If you get back to your apartment and the entire place looks like a large dinosaur had an unfortunate bowel movement in it, she’s going to feel all the blood in her vagina move directly up into her brain. No sex for you.

 

Having a couple of set planned first few dates that you run on new women will make you more confident and relaxed on the dates. The first might be a simple meet for coffee and feel each other out date. The second might be a dinner date. The third date might be meeting at your place for dinner and then out to a movie date. The fourth date is desserts and porn night. Whatever your dating plan is, you can get better and better at it if you practice them as routines. If you’re a real player you can run multiple women at once by running the dates carefully and planning ahead. Coffee with Tina at 4pm, dinner with Catherine at 6pm, and Helen for desserts and porn at 9pm. What could go wrong?

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