The Making of Americans, Being a History of a Family's Progress (63 page)

     This one then that I was last describing and then describing the meaning in the being in that one and then describing the telling of the meaning of the being in that one to that one, that one then knew then the meaning of the being in that one; that one always like every one that ever knew that one always knew, had always known all the repeating always coming out of the being in the living of that one, now that one knew the meaning of the being that made that one and it was a very serious feeling knowing that that was the meaning of the being, that denying was the meaning of the being in that one, that always there was in that one no way of ever realising real feeling, real being, that always it made up into denying. This one then knew the meaning of that being, I had told it to this one as I was saying, this was then in this one the first moment in the being of this one that was not denying. This is clear then, it was clear then to that one, it was to that one giving up asking, it was to that one then loosening gripping. This one had then a revelation, this one then had a new beginning.
     This then happened to this one, this one then had a real realisation of the being in this one and that was the beginning in this one of realising living, that was the beginning in this one of a being that was not in its meaning denying. This then came as a religion, this then came as a revelation, this one was then not asking and had the feeling of having been given living, this one was not asking and was receiving, this one had loosened gripping and so a little the hand was open to receiving, this was then the first being in this one that was not denying. By and by there was more changing. There will be now then more description.
     Slowly then there was in this one increasing realisation of real being. As I was saying this one not asking had the moment of receiving, loosening gripping had a little the power of accepting, slowly then this came to be the new meaning of the being always there in this one.
     This one had then a new beginning, always then from then on this one was changing, always then this one was repeating, always then knowing this one seeing, feeling, hearing the repeating coming out of this one, always then I was knowing more and more all the meaning there ever was or could or would be in this one in the being that was all the being in this one, always then this one was a whole one there inside me, always then I was knowing the complete meaning in the being in this one, always then this one was repeating all the being in this one, always then there was changing in this one and always there was in this one the being that every one who ever knew this one always knew as coming out of this one and always repeating.
     As I was saying this one then knew the meaning of the being in this one making a denying in this one of everything, I knew it from looking at this one, I knew it then and I was filled up then with this one, I knew it and then I was telling it to this one and always more and more I was telling it to this one and then this one was knowing the meaning of the being always repeating in this one and then there was in this one a beginning, there was then in this one real despairing, there was then in this one a stopping asking, a little loosening of gripping, there was then in this one some receiving, a being able to take what is given in the hand a little loosened in gripping, this then was in this one religion, this then was in this one a new meaning in being, a real realising of living, a beginning believing something. Then it went on and on in this one.
     As I was saying this one was a little loosening gripping and a little this one received in this loosening, seizing believing and then this one was gripping this believing, this was then the new meaning in the being in this one, this and receiving, really receiving something. Not denying, receiving something, tenaciously gripping that this one had and always sometimes again would be a little receiving in moments when remembering, this one would a little moment be stopping asking, always then a little loosening gripping would give to this one a little at such moments power of receiving, then this one would be tenaciously holding this this one had then been receiving, always then this was the new meaning in the being of this one.
     Sometime perhaps it will be clear to every one the whole being of some one. Sometime perhaps it will be clear to some one the being in any one. This is then a beginning.
     This is then a beginning, always then there is some winning knowing. Sometime perhaps it will be clear in some one the being in any one, always then there is some winning knowing, always then there is some one keeping going learning, sometime perhaps it will be clear to some one the whole being of some one. This is then again a beginning.
     Mostly every one is resembling some how to some one, every one is one inside them, every one reminds some one of some other one. Each one has it to say of each one he is like such a one I see it in him, every one has it to say of each one she is like some one else I can tell by remembering. Every one is always remembering some one who is resembling to some one. Every one is themselves inside them and every one is resembling to others.
     This is then a beginning, always then there is some winning of knowing. Sometime perhaps it will be clear in some one the being in any one. Always then there is some winning knowing, always then there are some keeping going in learning. Sometime perhaps it will be clear to some one the whole being of some one. This is then again a beginning. This now is learning understanding of resembling to realising kinds in men and women. Every one has their own being in them. Every one is of a kind in men and women. Every one is resembling somehow to some one.
     Everybody is a real one to me, everybody is like some one else too to me.
     Everybody has their own being in them. Every one is a kind of men and women.
     Everybody is a real one to me, everybody is like some one else too to me. Every one is one inside them, every one reminds some one of some other one, every one, mostly every one, has it to say of mostly each one that one ever is knowing, that one ever is seeing, that one is like such a one I see it in that one. So it goes on, every one mostly sees in each one something that is like something in some other one. Everybody is a real one to me, everybody is like some one else too to me, everybody has their own being in them to me, every one is of a kind of men and women to me. There are many ways of making kinds of men and women. In each way of making kinds of them there is a different way of feeling them as resembling. These are now some of the ways I know it in them which ones are like which other ones of them. Everybody then has to me their own being, that is them, every one then is like some others in some ways and that makes each one of them of a certain kind of men, of a certain kind of women, of a certain kind of men and women. Everybody is a real one to me, everybody is like some one else too to me. Resembling, in each one to other men, to other women, to other men and women, makes sometime a way of complete understanding of each one, everything then they do in living is clear to one who knows resemblances and differences and kinds in men and women, their way then of living, loving, eating, pleasing, smoking, scolding, drinking, dancing, walking, talking, beginning, ending, sleeping, laughing, working, everything in them is clear then. Everybody has their own being in them, every one is of a kind of men and women.
     Every one has their own being in them. Every one is of a kind of men and women. There are many very many kinds of men and women, there are many very many kinds of men, there are many very many kinds of women. There are many ways of making kinds of them, this is now a description of all the kinds of ways there are of making kinds of them, all the kinds of ways there are of making kinds of women, all the kinds of ways there are of making kinds of men, all the kinds of ways there are of making kinds in men and women, all the kinds of ways there are of making kinds of them in all the stages of each of them in them all from their beginning to their complete ending, all the kinds of ways there is in them of being and having being coming out from them, all their kinds of ways of being themselves inside them all of them and all the kinds of ways the being in them comes out from them, all the kinds of ways they ever effect any others any other one ever in any kind of way ever connected with them. To know all the kinds of ways then to make kinds of men and women one must know all the ways some are like others of them, are different from others of them, so then there come to be kinds of them. So then to some one each one must be a real one and each one must be like other ones in some ways and like other ones in other ways and some must know all the ways some one is resembling to or different from some other one and other ones and so sometime there will be a completed system of kinds of men and women, of kinds of men and kinds of women.
     To begin now a little such a grouping; each one must be a whole one, each one must be to some one like some one else, like some other one.
     Everybody is a real one to me, everybody is like some one else too to me. Almost every one in looking at any one mostly feels that that one they are then seeing, is like some one else they have known in their living, sometimes they know it in remembering, sometimes it is puzzling to them, sometimes they tell it and no other one then sees it with them, always there are different ways of feeling resemblances between people any one is knowing, always then there is remembering and disagreeing about resemblances between every one, always then mostly every one sees some one resembling the one they are then remembering, mostly every one feels resemblances in men and women. It is important then to make kinds of them, kinds of men and women, it is important then to know all the ways there are of being resembling, always then every one is a real one always then every one is resembling in different kinds of ways to different ones, always then all through the living of any one they are being resembling to different ones, always then there are many kinds of being, always then there are many ways of feeling, knowing kinds in being, always then each one is a kind of man, a kind of woman, a kind in their beginning, a kind in their going on, a kind in their ending, every one is of a kind of men, a kind of women, a kind of men and women, a kind in beginning, a kind in going on and in ending. Always then for understanding, each one must see the meaning in all the ways of being kinds of men and women, some have a feeling for some things in being others for other things in being, each one has their own way of feeling kinds in men and in women, in babies, in children, in growing young men in growing young women, in men and women. There are then all these many ways of knowing, feeling kinds in men and women, always then there are many ways of knowing, feeling, thinking, talking, using kinds in men and women. Always then each one is a whole one and in many ways of a kind of men or of a kind of women.
     Mostly this is all always confusing every one in talking, feeling, thinking, using, seeing any one, always each one has their own way of feeling kinds in them, always each kind of them has their kind of way of knowing men and women. Making each one a kind of men and women in enough kinds of ways to have everything included in the kinds of them, everything that is in the being of that one, that is understanding that one. That one is then a completed whole one then to that one, the one having that understanding of that one. That is very exciting, that is very interesting, that completed understanding is to some all the meaning in their living.
     Always then each one one is ever hearing talking, knowing feeling, thinking, seeing, each one has their way of seeing each one they are ever knowing, each one has their way of feeling kinds in men and women. Always then that one that has it to want to have understanding of any one, that one always must have a feeling always of the ways all the ways, the many ways of knowing, feeling kinds in men and women. This then as I was saying is very exciting. This then is now some description of one way of learning to know kinds in men and women. Always I am telling of learning kinds in men and in women. Always then everybody is a real one to me, everybody is like some one else too to me. Always then sometime each one comes to be a whole one in me.
     Always I am learning, more and more then I am knowing many kinds in men and women, many ways of making kinds in men and women, always I am learning, always it is interesting, often it is exciting, always I am learning, sometimes I am really learning all the being in some one, always more and more each one is to me a kind of one, always then I am learning more and more of bottom ways of being resembling, always I am learning more and more of the kinds of mixing that are confusing to any one looking, always then more and more there are steadily grouping kinds of men and women to me, more and more I know where each one I am ever seeing belongs in the grouping, more and more then it all grows confusing, I am always knowing more and more and then it gets all mixed up to me all mixed up in each one all mixed up in each one I am learning, each time there is in me a clear understanding of any one and I go on to another one or back to one I was earlier understanding that one is all a confusion from the last learning, each time then when there is a clear understanding of any one it is confusing with the next one, knowing more makes more grouping necessary in men and women and then all of a sudden this new grouping is a clear thing to my understanding and then sometimes all of a sudden I lose the meaning out of all of them I lose all of them and then each one I am then seeing looks like every one I have ever known in all my looking and there is no meaning in any of my grouping and then there is in me again a beginning and always sometime there will be clearly existing kinds of men and women, grouping of them by the bottom nature in them, by the mixing of other nature or natures with, the bottom nature of them and so then sometime there will be a complete history of each one who ever is or was or will be living. It is very interesting, often very exciting, mostly very confusing, always steadily increasing in meaning.
     There is now a little a description of my learning. There will be now then a little indication of what I have been learning, what I am now knowing, then there will be again a beginning of Martha Hersland in her beginning.