The Making of Americans, Being a History of a Family's Progress (58 page)

     Sometimes some one for many years is baffling. The repeated hearing, seeing, feeling of repeating in them does not give to me then a history of the complete being in them. Slowly then sometime it comes to be clearer of them, I begin again with listening, I feel new shades in repeating, parts of repeating that I was neglecting hearing, seeing, feeling come to have a louder beating. Slowly it comes to a fuller sounding, sometimes many years pass in such a baffling listening, feeling, seeing all the repeating in some one. Then slowly such a one comes to have real meaning. Many times I begin and then begin again. Always I must not begin a deadened following, always their repeating must be a fresh feeling in my hearing, seeing, feeling. Always I must admit all changing. Always I must have a sensitive and open being, always I must have a loving repeating being. Often listening to them is irritating, often it is dulling, always then there must be in me new beginning, always there must be in me steadily alive inside me my loving repeating being. Then sometime every one is a completed being to me, sometime every one has a completed history to me. Always then it comes out of them their whole repeating, sometime then I can feel and hear and see it all and it has meaning. Sometime then each one I am ever knowing comes to be to me a completed being, and then always they are always repeating always the whole of them.
     There are many that I know then. They are all of them repeating and I hear it, see it, feel it. More and more I understand it. I love it, I tell it. I love it, I live it and I tell it. Always I will tell it. They live it and I see it and I hear it and I feel it. They live it and I see it and I hear it and I feel it and I love it, sometime then I understand it, sometime then there is a completed history of each one by it, sometime then I will tell the completed history of every one as by hearing, feeling, seeing all repeating I come to know it. Now I will just tell a few short histories to explain it, to explain hearing, feeling, seeing repeating and understanding being by it. Now I will tell a few short histories in it to show loving repeating being in me and how I use it.
     As I was saying every one I am ever knowing slowly comes to be a whole one to me. Each one slowly comes to be a whole one to me. Some come to have for me complete meaning quicker then others of them. Mostly all of them come pretty slowly to be a whole one to me. This is now a little description of some who have come to be inside me as a whole one to me, some very slowly, some quicker to me. Always I am hearing, feeling, seeing all repeating in them, always I have as a bottom loving repeating being.
     Everybody is a real one to me, everybody is like some one else too to me. This is always there in me this and loving repeating being, always, in me.
     Everybody is a real one to me, everybody is like some one else too to me. Every one always is repeating the whole of them. Each one slowly comes to be a whole one to me. Each one slowly comes to be a whole one in me.
     Some one coming to be a whole one in me is now what I am describing. Every one is like some one else too to me, that will have more meaning later when I am talking of the kinds there are of men and women. Always every one is repeating the whole of them, that is always there to bring to me completed understanding. That is always there in every one to some one. That is always there in every one to be a complete history always coming out of them.
     To begin then again with a few of them who slowly come to be each one of them a whole one to me.
     Each one slowly comes to be a whole one to me. Each one slowly comes to be a whole one in me. Every one always is repeating. As I was saying sometimes it is very irritating hearing, feeling, seeing repeating in some one, in every one. More and more then when such a one is a whole one to me, more and more then as loving repeating is all my being, more and more then I am happy in my loving repeating being. Now then.
     Each one slowly comes to be a whole one to me. Each one slowly comes to be a whole one in me. This is now a description of learning one.
     There are then many ways of learning, there are then many ways of having men and women come to be a whole one to me, come to be a whole one in me. To begin now with one.
     This one very slowly came to be a whole one to me. This one very slowly came to be a whole one in me. Always now this one is a complete one to me. Always now all the repeating I am hearing coming from this one has real meaning. This is now a description of this learning.
     Each one slowly comes to be a whole one to me. Each one slowly comes to be a whole one in me. This one very slowly came to be a whole one in me. This then is now a description of one way of learning to listen, feel and see all the repeating in some. Then there will be descriptions of other ways of learning. Now to begin again with this one.
     Each one slowly comes to be a whole one to me. Each one slowly comes to be a whole one in me. With some, right understanding of the repeating always coming out from them takes many years of loving repeating being in me to bring me to such understanding.
     Each one slowly comes to be a whole one to me. Sometimes listening, feeling, seeing, repeating in such a one is very irritating. Slowly it comes clear and the one comes to be a whole one to me.
     There are many ways then of learning the complete being in any one, this is now a description of one. There are many that I know and I know it. Sometimes it takes many years to learn it. Sometime each one is a whole one to me. Sometime each one is a whole one in me. Sometimes alter I have them so I lose them and then I must begin again to learn them. Mostly when I know them they keep on being a whole one in me. Some are easier to keep as a whole one to one than others around one. Some are easier to hold as a whole one when one is thinking of them, some are easier to keep as a whole one when one is hearing them coming out from them. There are all kinds of ways then of knowing, there are all kinds of ways then of remembering, there are all kinds of ways then of losing a thing after it is knowledge in one. Each one then sometime is a whole one to me. Each one then sometime is a whole one in me. This is now a description of one. This is now a description of one who very slowly came to be a whole one in me. This is now a very short description of learning this one.
     Sometimes it takes many years of listening, seeing, living, feeling, loving the repeating there is in some one before one comes to a completed understanding of such a one. Sometimes it is very irritating to do such hearing, seeing, feeling living. Always there is loving repetition being in one doing such listening, seeing, feeling, often it is then very irritating, always then loving feeling for repetition can make one go on living, hearing, seeing, feeling all the repetitions coming out of such a one. As I was saying almost every one has some one who sometimes has listened to all the repeating in that one. This is from the loving feeling some one, sometime has had for that one. Every one mostly, sometimes has listened to all repeating in some one, has heard and felt and seen all the repeating in some one. Mostly every one has sometime had some one hear and see and feel all the repeating coming out of them. Some have it to love every one. Some have it to love many men and many women or many men or many women, some have it to love the repeating in them, some have it to love every one and the repeating in every one, some have it to love some and to love repeating in every one. This is now some description of learning of complete understanding in such a one.
     Every one then sometime comes to be a whole one to me. Each one sometime comes to be a whole one in me. Always loving repeating is my way of being. This is now some description of my studying.
     There are many that I know and always more and more I know it. They are all of them repeating and I hear it. More and more I understand it. Always more and more I see it, hear it, feel it, always more and more it has to me completed history in it.
     Every one has their own being in them. Everybody is a real one to me. Each one sometimes is a whole one to me. Each one is sometimes a whole one in me. Some come very slowly to be a complete being to me.
     This is now a description of learning to listen to all repeating that every one always is making of the whole of them. This is now some description of learning to hear, see and feel all repeating that each one always is making of the whole of them. Each one as I was saying some time comes to be a whole one in me, each one sometime comes to be a complete being to me. Sometimes after they are this to me I keep on knowing it inside me, sometimes I lose it, sometimes I doubt it, it is too clear or too vague or too confused inside me. Sometime then I have it all to do again. Always I keep on hearing, feeling, seeing all repeating in each one for always it has more and more being to my feeling.
     This is now then some description of my learning. Then there will be a beginning again of Martha Hersland and her being and her living. This is now then first a little studying and then later Martha Hersland will begin living. Now then to do this little studying.
     As I was saying each one sometime is a whole one to me. Sometimes some one very very slowly comes to be a whole one to me. Every one is a real one to me. Every one always is repeating the whole of them.
     Every one is sometime a puzzle to me. Every one is sometime a whole being to me. Some one sometimes is many years a puzzle to me. Sometime every one, each one is a whole being to me.
     Some one sometimes for many years is a puzzle to me. Some slowly come to be a whole one in me. Some all of a sudden come to be a whole one to me. Mostly every one is sometime a puzzle to me. Mostly every one is for some years a puzzle to me. This is now a little a description of how one was a puzzle to me and then came to be clear inside me, came to be a whole one to me. More and more then as they are a whole one to me they are friendly to me there inside me. Always they come to be more and more in me. Always they come to have more and more meaning to me in the repeating which then they are doing clearly to me, of the whole of them.
     Many of them then are many years a puzzle to me.
     Slowly then each one comes to be to me a whole one, always they are repeating the whole of them then.
     Every one is puzzling to me, some for some reason others for other reasons, always every one is puzzling, sometime every one becomes a whole one to me, mostly then they go on repeating clearly to me the whole of them, sometimes they commence again to be a puzzle to me, sometimes I lose the way of hearing clearly the repeating of the whole of them that always every one is always doing.
     This one then was puzzling for many years to me and then slowly this one came to be a whole one to me, many others then came to be clear to me. Always then this one has been a whole one to me, always then the whole of this one always is repeating to me. Often, as I was saying, it is very irritating to be listening, irritating when it is puzzling, irritating just to be hearing repeating. More and more as each one is a whole one to me repeating from them is not irritating to me, it is friendly there inside me, they are then each one a whole one in me.
     This one then for many years was puzzling to me. Slowly then this one came to repeat clearly to me the whole being and then this one came to be a whole one to me.
     Slowly then this one came to be a whole one to me.
     Always then I was listening, feeling, looking, always then I was hearing, feeling, seeing the repeating always coming out of this one and always it was puzzling, and mostly it was irritating listening, and always this one was not then a whole one to me.
     There is a certain feeling one has in one when some one is not a whole one to one even though one seems to know all the nature of that one. Such a one then is very puzzling and when sometime such a one is a whole one to one all the repeating coming out of them has meaning as part of a whole one. When some one is not a clear one to one, repeating coming out of them has not this clear relation. Then such a one is puzzling until they come to be a whole one. Then repeating coming out of them has clear meaning.
     Always then I am hearing, feeling, seeing the repeating always coming out of every one. Loving repeating being is in me always every moment in my living. Sometimes as I was saying hearing repeating is very irritating. Always sometime it comes to be to me a completed history of each one I am ever knowing.
     As I was saying, then always I was seeing, feeling, hearing all repeating coming out of this one. As I was saying often it was irritating. As I was saying it was not for many years a clear repeating of a whole being. Slowly then this one came to be a whole one to me. This is now some description.
     Sometime each one comes to be a whole one to me. Sometime the bottom nature in each one, the other nature or natures in each one, the mixing or not mixing in them of the natures in them comes to be clear in each one, each one then is a complete one, each one then keeps repeating the whole history of them.
     Some then are puzzling a long time, almost every one is puzzling, mostly every one is puzzling to me, sometime mostly every one comes to be a whole one to me.
     As I was saying there is a bottom nature in every one, the other nature or natures in them may be of their kind of men and women, if they are at bottom resisting the other nature or natures in them may be of a kind of resisting, they may be of a kind of attacking being. All this is very confusing. All this is very puzzling. Always more and more I know it of each one the being in them the mixtures in them, always more I come to have a completed understanding of each one.
     As I was saying every one sometime is a whole one to me. Every one sometime is a complete being in me. Sometimes for many years some one is puzzling, slowly then they come to be clearly a whole one, then all the repeating coming out of them always tells and keeps on telling to me the whole of them. Always then this repeating of the whole of them has more and more completeness to me, more and more of beauty for me, more and more a friendly feeling in me.
     In learning one I have been describing there was very long listening, often listening was very irritating, there were many years of puzzled being, there were many years then of believing in the heard, seen, felt repeating which was every one's hearing, feeling, seeing, without puzzling, slowly then there came to be in me a puzzled feeling, slowly then I knew I was not hearing all the repeating this one was doing, I was not feeling, hearing, seeing the repeating that was a complete history of this one, always then I was puzzling, slowly then the repeating coming out of this one was a complete history of this one. Always I am listening to, feeling, seeing what every one thinks about any one. Always I am ready to feel some one will hear some repeating coming out of one that I have not begun yet to see or hear or feel in that one. Always then I am seeing, feeling, hearing what every one else sees or feels or hears as repeating in each one. So then always sometime there will come to be in me a complete seeing, hearing, feeling of the repeating coming out of each one making a complete history of each one.